Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Favorite Things–May 2011


Let’s talk dollars and cents (or sense). When you train you spend the big bucks on fueling. Gus, chomps, blox, gels, sport’s drink, etc. I cut costs where I can.

Instead of chomps or gels, I’ve been using Welch’s fruit snacks. They are a fraction of the price ($.13 per serving vs. $.75 per gel/chomp serving) and the nutritional info is comparable.


Fruit Snacks:




Keep in mind, the serving size of Chomps is 30g, the fruit snacks are 25 g. Also you get two servings  in the Chomp bag, but the price for the snacks is still 1/4 of the Chomps. You do not get your electrolytes with the fruit snacks, so if you want ‘em, you’ll need those from sport’s drink or electrolyte tabs. Carbs, sugar and calories are comparable.

It’s easy to grab one of these between a bike and run or to carry a couple with you on a long run. I get the jumbo 80 pack for super cheap at Costco for about $11.

Brain Food/Reading:

I’ve been so busy lately I’ve had a tough time getting into books. I’m a huge reader. One of my favorite things is getting so absorbed in a book I can’t think straight. I picked up this one, since it seemed like lighter summer reading, not expecting much. I’m only half way in, but am loving the story of friendship and “coming of age.” (Amazon $8.79).


I’ve always got a non-fiction book on my night stand, just to keep me balanced. This month I’ve been loving this one. It reminds me to stay centered in my running and to remember why I like to do it. (Amazon $9.56).



Over the years I’ve neglected my skin, now I’m playing catch up. I’ve gotten very disciplined about washing and moisturizing my face at night. I  can’t afford all these fancy creams and such, so I choose one good quality item to mix in with my Oil of Olay routine. My friend Erika turned me onto this while we were in Vegas dehydrating and damaging our bodies.

This one is “a moisturizing antioxidant serum that protects your skin from damaging environmental pollutants. Helps fight free radical damage that causes visible aging while hydrating and smoothing skin.” Maybe I’m high in crack, but I swear I noticed a difference right away. Smoother. Radiant. (Amazon $36.00)


Family Health/Nutrition

I’m lucky on this one. Many of you will not have access to this gem. I was visited this week by a wholesome gentleman in an unpretentious and simple blue truck. He is from our local dairy: Royal Crest (okay, this was not the exact man who showed up).


He talked me into getting weekly milk delivery. I spend $6/gallon on hormone free (bovine growth hormone) milk at the grocery store. Royal Crest’s is hormone free and is $3.49/gallon. When you receive it in the cooler on your doorstep, it is only 2 days old. Fresh off the cow’s teat. Best part? Tastes amazing. Comes in chocolate too. They also deliver cookie dough, so it could get ugly.



Cute Running Shirts offered to send me a couple of their shirts. I am loving the ones they sent. They both say “Tri Hard” – one is a tech shirt and one is a regular t-shirt in the softest of cotton. (both shirts $34 each).

The tech shirt (looking a tad possessed here):





What are you loving this month?


Please note: I recommend these products without any incentive. I was not sent items to review or paid for my reviews.

Monday, May 30, 2011

Bolder Boulder 10K Report

Great morning at the Bolder Boulder 10K. The shoes were lined up and ready to roll as we left the house at 6am:


The kids (+ Kathy) were in the backseat.


I hit the shitter and just made it to my wave in time to start running. I like to live on the edge.


I will say I am not in 10K shape. Sure I just ran a marathon a month ago, but I will say that I haven’t done speed in SO long. This race was hard for me. I was tired the whole time. By the end I wanted to puke up my bagel. But I told myself I would break 50 minutes and I did while almost retching. 49:29 (7:58 avg).

I know I have a faster 10k in me, but not right now.

Ken pushed the hell out of Sam, 13, and got him a new PR of 53:03.

Emma, 10, ran with my friend Kathy who was doing her first 10K. They rocked it out at 1:14. I am so proud of Kathy who literally started running ten months ago. She never thought she could do something like this!



It was great running weather but the minute I stopped running I started freezing, so we didn’t stick around for long. I get mean and ornery when I am cold.

I am just glad to be RACING again. This was my first race since August of last year before I got injured. Hallelujah! For all you injured souls out there, it DOES get better!


Just because you wear a hula outfit does not mean you are warm:


Got to go. I must be boring someone anonymous.


Happy Memorial Day. Go eat some BBQ.


Sunday, May 29, 2011

It’s All in the Numbers

I’ve got a big training week coming up including:

Tomorrow: Bolder Boulder 10K
Sunday 6/5: Longmont Sprint Tri

Neither of these are my “A” races, just part of my overall half ironman training.

Strange for a girl like me, I but I do not have a 10K PR time. I don’t run many 10Ks, and always do them with my kids. Tomorrow, I will actually run by myself. Along with 50,000 other people. I am not in my tip top running shape, but I’m going to push it and see what happens.  I’ve got my playlist ready to roll. I call it “Beth’s Bolder Boulder” because I am creative that way:


Yeah, so it’s 1.4 hours of songs – hopefully will not be needing all of that time. Unless the poop fairy visits mid-race.

And, before you dis the Canon in D Power Music Workout, you should hear it. The processional in our wedding was to Pachebel, so it’s always got a special place in my heart. And, now, I can run to it!

In last week’s training I pulled back for a nice dose of recovery. Only 7 hours of training including 2 runs, 2 swims, 2 bikes. In addition, other weekly stats:

# of falls off of bike: 2 (I only wrote about one of them)

# of masters swims attempted: 1

# of son’s baseball games attended: 4

# of dinners cooked: 6

# of trips to Chipotle: 1

# of times I cried: 4 (post-masters swim, end of year slideshow, neighbor’s graduation, fall off bike)

# of times I cussed in front of my children (usually in the car, I love road rage): 5

# of times to Starbucks: 4

# of pissy comments I got on Facebook: 1

# of times I was the tooth fairy: 1

# of servings of almond butter: 6

# of dumps: 4 (yep, I never said I was regular)


About to do #5 if you know what I mean,


Saturday, May 28, 2011

Boo Boo

It was a tough day on the bike.


I fell and I cried. I don’t know how it happened. I was trying to start from a stop and toppled. Then Ken sort of fell on me. I was stuck under my bike, still clipped in on one side. My chain fell off. At that point I was more embarrassed for the scene I had made at this intersection full of cyclists and cars than worried about the scrape.

Once I was up I realized how bad my knee hurt and I still had to ride home ten miles. That’s when the wind kicked up and my shoulder started to hurt (the guy who did my bike fit yesterday needs a kick in the crotch).

I love to be out riding, but today was not one of those days. 31 miles. I came home and quickly went to the donut store where I got a cinnamon roll the size of my head and large coffee with extra cream. Immediately I felt better. Fulfilled. No more pain or sadness. This is what’s left:


I am loving my hair here. Don’t be jealous. Just put your hair in helmet for a couple hours and sweat, then take it off and you too can have this style:


I am mentally preparing for getting into the shower and how I will scream like the little girl that I am when the soap hits my boo boo. I may be 44, but I can still cry, wince in pain and ask for sympathy. I know we have a Mickey Mouse band aid around here somewhere.


Feel free to send sympathy cards and more donuts.

Triathletes have feelings too.


Friday, May 27, 2011

Speed and Vitalsox Review

First, don’t forget to enter my sweet Saucony $100 giveaway hosted by Online Shoes. Too good to miss. Ends on Wednesday.

Yesterday I did something I have not done since October. Speed. More specifically, tempo. This was my first attempt at speed since getting injured with a hip stress fracture. My doctor advised against speed while training for Boston. One of the major culprits contributing to injuries is speed work, or doing too much of it before you are ready.  Now that I am “healed” I’ve been playing around with my training, trying to decide how much running to incorporate with triathlon training.

Coming off of the injury, I really want to learn how to be a more well rounded athlete. Multi sport training teaches you that. You don’t favor any particular sport in your training unless you suck at something more than something else and then you need to spend more time on it. I am running much less than usual, but my endurance and aerobic abilities have remained strong with all the other stuff thrown in.

Is it okay to admit I was terrified of the tempo? Could I do it after having been absent for so long? The plan was simple. Warm up one mile, do four miles at 8:30 or so, and cool down one mile. 8:30 is slower than my previous tempo pace, but I wanted to cut myself some slack.

I was sent these handy and styling compression socks from Vitalsox, and decided to give them a whirl on the run. Here I am getting ready to audition for a play.


The result:

Mile 1 (warm up): 9:00
Mile 2: 8:31 (kind of tired, can I do this?)
Mile 3: 8:15  (almost half way done, speeding up)
Mile 4: 8:06 (feeling great, these socks work)
Mile 5: 7:51 (blazin’!)
Mile 6 (cool down mile): 9:00

I think I just got my confidence back!

About the Vitalsox:


Another admission. I really never understood these socks. I see people wear them all the time, but I thought they just wanted to look cool or they had calf problems. I’m glad I got to try these because now I get the benefits.

  • Stimulates blood circulation
  • Improves oxygen delivery to muscles
  • Lactic acid production is reduced
  • Cramp relief
  • Wicking to keep you dry and cool

My socks are size small and go for $35.00.


I loved how they felt during the run. Maybe it was a placebo effect, but they made me feel faster, sleeker, stronger. I don’t tend to have any leg aches/pains when I run, so I can’t speak to whether they helped in those areas. I do know that I set out on this run tired as crap, but felt really energetic by mile two. Could the socks be part of that? Perhaps. I’d like to keep using them on and off throughout training and keep track of how I feel during runs to see if there is a connection between the socks and my performance.

I have to admit that even though these are light and wicking, I don’t see myself wearing them in the dead heat of summer. They will be perfect for those cool early morning runs and races, especially for the ones I do at elevation where it’s still freezing in the summer.

From the research I have read on compression socks, the jury seems to be out on whether they actually boost performance while running. Most testers agree, however, that they help tremendously with recovery if you wear them post-run.

Do you wear compression socks during or after runs/races? If so, what benefits have you noticed?

Does speed work intimidate or invigorate you?

Off to the pool. Hope no one shits in my shoes,


Fine print: Vitalsox provided the socks for this review. SUAR paid nothing for them. I like to talk about myself in the third person.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Winner & Online Shoes/Saucony Giveaway

The winner of the Girl Girl Sport Toga Tank is #161 Stacie from Impossible Is Nothing. Shoot me an email with your address at beth@shutupandrun.net. Congrats!

Now for something exciting. Shoes - an essential component or running (well, with the minimalist/barefoot movement, maybe not essential for some, but you know what I mean).

When you start running, one of the first things that you hear or read is that you need a good pair of running shoes that fits your foot type, gait and any pronation issues you may have. Usually your local running store will have a specialist to help you determine the best shoe for you. If they don’t, they have problems and should go into the bagel business.

When it comes to running, bargain shopping or choosing based on how intriguing a style or color is, is not the way to go. I ran my first 10K in $30 trail running shoes off the rack at Kohl’s (this was not a trail race). I could hardly walk for three days after. They were such a pretty color of blue, though! 

The shoe for you may be the ugliest shoe on the rack, but if it will take you hundreds of miles and decrease your chance for injury, it is actually the most gorgeous shoe on the rack. Haven’t you ever heard “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover?” Well, don’t judge a shoe by it’s…whatever. I got nothing clever.

One problem. A decent pair of running shoes costs at least $80-$120. Yes, the investment is worth it, but that’s still a chunk of change. I usually get analyzed at the running store to find out which shoe is best, give them my business the first time around, then order my specific shoe online after that. With coupon codes, free shipping, etc., you can always find better deals online.

Today, Online Shoes wants to help you out. They are offering one reader a pair of Saucony running shoes, up to $100Online Shoes has a huge variety of running shoes which can be viewed on their running homepage. More specifically, they offer a wide range of shoes from Saucony for men, women and kids. Keep in mind that through Memorial Day, you can get an extra 20% off at checkout by using the code 1SUN (for orders over $80).


The lovely Saucony Grid Excusion now on sale for $59.99

Want a $100 to go towards a pair of Sauconys? To enter:

  • Tell me what running shoes you wear now and why + 1 entry
  • Go to the Saucony brand page at Online Shoes and tell me which shoes you would get if you won + 1 entry
  • “Like” Online Shoes on Facebook and tell them I sent you + 1 entry
  • Blog, twat, Facebook about this giveaway + 1 entry
  • Become a follower of my blog + 1 entry

Giveaway ends Tuesday, May 31.

Good luck!


Fine Print

  • Online Shoes provided the giveaway prize. SUAR paid nothing for it.
  • Winner will be chosen by random.org on May 31, 2011.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Last Day

I have a confession. Don’t you love my confessions? Sometimes they are things like “I run with scissors,” and other times they involve the smallest of sharts.

Today’s confession is this: I honestly thought you guys were going to call me a pussy when I told you about my experience at masters swim yesterday. I thought you might tell me I needed too much coddling and needed to put on my big girl panties. But you didn't. You came to my defense just when I needed it most and for that I thank you.

Today when I left my spin class I picked up the newest “Competitor” magazine. On the front cover is the enticing and relevant headline, “ Conquer Your Fear of Masters Swimming.” And inside, I found this tidbit about going to your first class:


Hmmm…didn't quite go that way. But, it is time to move on from all of this and find another class or at least join a fourth grade swim team. Because I would kick all of their asses.

The kids are out of school for summer. We are done. What the hell? We used to go to school from Memorial Day until Labor Day. Kids have it so easy these days. I also used to crawl to school pulling a 200 pound wagon of cow manure to put on the farm fields next to the school. Naked. In snowstorms. Without any arms or legs (Matt? Bob?). No coddling here.

I am popping the sedatives, getting ready for lots of condensed family togetherness. Truth be told, I joke about the hardships of being a mother, but I really like being around my kids most of the time. And usually they like being around me. Or so they say. I don't know what they tell their therapists behind my back.

Today my son had his 7th grade picnic. I broke into dance when I walked into a  classroom where some girls were doing that Xbox Kinnect dance thing. Sam said, “Mom, please don’t dance,” knowing full well that I would. And I did. Life is too short to not dance and not embarrass children.

Then I did fart while walking with my son and his friend to the car. Get used to it. It’s summer. I fart all day long. It hurts too much to hold it. Today in spin class I had to get out of the seat on a downhill to fart. I just acted like I always did that.

Last night a film festival at school. Sam walked the red carpet in his red velour thrift store suit. We’re all class around here.


I want YOU to dare to wear this jacket.


Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Becoming a Master

This quote was brought to my attention today:

"God's gifts put man's best dreams to shame".  ~Elizabeth Barrett Browning

I think this means that we have no clue what we are REALLY capable of.

As I sit here getting ready to go to my first masters swim ever, I am feeling a loss of confidence. Wouldn't it just be easier to keep swimming on my own and not bother with this shit?

Then I have to remember that you never get anywhere by dropping out of life because you have fears and insecurities. I know to grow stronger for my half ironman I need to become a stronger swimmer and I can’t do that on my own.

What is a masters swim, you ask? Apparently, it is this:

Masters swimming is a special class of competitive swimming for swimmers 25 years or older.  Most towns or cities now have masters clubs. Typically these are very friendly and welcome newcomers. Club members will follow a set of different drills and swims each time typically covering anything from 1-3 miles. Each club will have lanes and so whilst the younger and faster swimmers who are competing nationally and regionally are at one end, the other lanes are for hobbyists who may have taken up swimming quite recently.

I really like the part about how they are friendly to newcomers and how I can have my own lane if I am slow. I also like how they use the term “whilst.” You don’t hear this every day so this must be a very classy group.

Things swirling in my head: These master’s people will all be better than me. They will make fun of me. I will drown. I will hit my head on the flip turn. I might get my period.

Bottom line fear: I will fail.

Oh, is that it? I might fail? At what? Not being the fastest or the most skilled? Big deal. Who am I trying to impress anyway?

Interesting how we psych ourselves out when we get ready to try new things. Maybe wearing my underwear will intimidate them all.


Or, perhaps I will just demonstrate my technique whilst laying on the carpet.


What are you doing that scares you (makes you grow, be better today)?


Monday, May 23, 2011


I was so beat yesterday.

Ken and I joke that after you go to Vegas you spend the next five days crapping it out, literally. All that bad food, drinking, second hand smoke and late night squirt cheez on Ritz crackers (or is that just me?) means your body needs to do some serious purging of toxins.

Between the Vegas shits, my workload, being a mom and putting in nine hours of workouts last week, I took an afternoon nap, something I haven’t done it about a year or maybe since I was pregnant with Emma (ten years). I was out so hard I drooled all over the bed. Then, I admit I went to bed at 8:30 last night. And, I loved every minute of it.

Do you ever get into your bed and actually moan out of pleasure? No, not that kind of pleasure. This noise escaped my mouth because the sheets were cold and crisp and fresh and I knew for the next eight hours no one would demand anything from me. Thank God my children are not still nursing the teat. I knew it would be dark and quiet and I could just lay there, breathing and drooling. Sometimes I even do that snore/snort thing and wake myself up.  

After all that time in bed, you’d think I would have woken up fresh as FDS and ready to go. Nope. Still tired. But, I had a run on the schedule, so I put on my Boston shirt hoping to get some mojo.

Nice crotch shot. Check out Ken spying in the background. WTF is my wife doing? Another timer shot?


From the first step of the run my legs were tired from yesterday’s long bike ride and run. By mile one, I was flying. It was warm. I tied my shirt around my waist and flew around the lake. It was only five miles, but I felt great. Energized. Confident. Ready to face the day.


And the scenery may have been slightly inspiring.

That’s what running can do for you. Morph you from a yawning and unmotivated snorter/drooler into superwoman.

And that, my friends, is how I put a new spin on my day.

Has the running transformation happened to you, too?


PS: My newest article for Athleta entitled, How to Be Mentally Strong, can be found HERE.

PPS: Don’t forget my Toga Tank Giveaway!

Earphone Winner & Go Girl Sport Toga Tank Giveaway

The winner of the Auria Exceed earphones is #69 Baby Weight My Fat Ass who wrote:


Nothing like a self-proclaimed fat ass trying to bust a move! Email your address to beth@shutupandrun.net.

Moving on.…I don’t know if you’re cool enough to recall when I reviewed this awesome skirt in December:


Go Girl Sport is a dynamic and up-and-coming sport’s clothing line. They offer quality and stylish running apparel for women.

Go Girl has a new item – the Toga Tank – to share with you:


“The Toga Tank lets you show your wild side with a full mesh back for superior breathability while providing enough coverage to satisfy your modest side. Seams are sewn flat and offset from tender areas to avoid chafing. The moisture wicking performance fabric keeps you comfortable even in the most challenging workouts.” – $38.00

It goes well with the skirt and my shiny face:


Nice breathable mesh in the back:


I love the fit, style and feel of this shirt. Very light, airy and comfy. There is no built in bra, so simply wear your favorite sport’s bra underneath or free-boob it if you are so inclined. I don’t usually do this due to bouncing and chafing.

Go Girl Sport is giving away a tank to one reader. To enter, simply:

  • Visit Go Girl Sport and tell me what you like and why + 1 entry
  • “Like” their Facebook page HERE and let them know I sent ya + 1 entry
  • Blog, twat, Facebook about this giveaway+ 1 entry
  • Become a follower of this here blog if you are not already + 1 entry

If you don’t win, or you want to purchase something from the Go Girls Sports site, use the code “SHUTUPANDRUN” at checkout to get an extra 20% off!

Giveaway ends Thursday, May 26. Good luck!


Sunday, May 22, 2011

Peeping Tom

This morning’s workout:

2 hour bike ride: 34 miles (17 mph avg)
30 minute run: 3.5 miles (8:36 min/mi avg)

These workouts kill me. I am tired. We rode half of the Boulder 70.3 course plus a bit more. The wind kicked up and I cussed. It got hot. The run was faster than I thought it would be, but I was bone tired by the end. I am not convinced that in just over two months I will be able to swim 1.2, bike 56 and run 13.1.

Will I?

Post workout, I came inside, grabbed some Muscle Milk  and water and sat on the back porch in my sport’s bra and underwear. The bike shorts had to come off immediately. They just had to. I usually go commando, but the underwear provides just a touch extra protection for the lady bits.


Yes, I am a bit dazed.

Golfers (yes, I live on a golf course, now you know) and neighbors be damned. Instead of yelling “Fore!” they can yell “Whore!” I am in my undies because I just did a brick workout and these lengthy episodes kick my ass. So, MYOB (mind your own business).

Call the cops or be a peeping Tom, I don’t care.

What was your workout today? Did you flash anyone?


Friday, May 20, 2011

No Marathon. WTF?

For starters, you need to read the comments on my last post. Some incredible stories of inspiration, hardship and perseverance. You guys always amaze me. Truly.

I am so tired and ADHD slash manic slash PMS today that my eye is twitching. If I knew what was good for me I would go lie down. Instead I keep getting the frozen lemon bars out of the freezer and almost breaking my teeth on them. Who needs defrosting when you have a dentist who does same-day crowns right in his office?

But, you didn’t come here to read about my mania. I’ve got my thinking cap on today, so don’t be jealous if I look really smart. Even Lucky is perplexed by how smart I look. Or the fact I am giving him the finger.


So, let’s get to the topic of the day. Here’s what I don’t get. What the hell happened to the marathon on the Biggest Loser? The final episode before the finale was this past Tuesday. It was par for the course with visits home, crying, flashbacks and more crying. And, then some crying.  But, there was something missing. Something that makes the whole season worthwhile. The marathon.

I know this has been controversial in the past. My guess is TBL received complaints about “making” contestants run a marathon without being properly trained or something like that. Or, maybe in a show that has become so predictable, they decided to mix it up a bit and incorporate a turkey burger cooking challenge and golf course-carry-your-weight extravaganza. zzzzzz…..

I always found the marathon to be the most inspiring episode of all, even more so than the finale. Why? Because a marathon symbolizes the Cadillac of accomplishments. It’s the big kahuna. Running a marathon signifies that you have arrived. Right? It’s a known fact that you can’t be out of shape and run a marathon. It is also difficult to be morbidly obese and run a marathon, although that one guy did it in L.A. this year (it took him 9:48).

Last year’s marathon on the Biggest Loser was the shit because Ada stopped to take a dump and it took her six minutes. I even blogged about it HERE.

Just FYI: I got naked from the waist down, peed, pooped and threw away my underwear during the Boston Marathon and it only took me three minutes. Just sayin’.

I missed the marathon terribly. I usually watch it while stuffing my face with popcorn and pita chips. I love seeing people dig down to the deepest corners of their souls to complete that 26.2 mile distance. It gives me the chills. It makes me cry. It makes me proud of people I don’t even know. It makes me want to get out and run and be the best I can be. Watching contestants who were so incredibly out of shape only five months prior complete this feat is nothing short of amazing. Simply said, it’s tough to not be inspired watching it happen.

Do you think omitting the marathon (and substituting it with a turkey burger cooking contest of all things) was the right thing to do? Did you miss it?

Feel free to be the one to push me over the edge to 1,600 followers. I’ll love you for it.

Off to brush my teeth because that is how I stop eating crap.


Thursday, May 19, 2011

How Will You Cope?

I know I devoted a whole post last week to the miracle recovery of my son, Sam’s, teacher. His has been a story of inspiration, gratitude and the power of the human spirit.

I am convinced that not every person could have lived through what Mr. Cribby did. Along with an amazing support network, tons of prayers and a skilled medical staff Mr. Cribby had one essential component that was key to his recovery. The will to live - sheer determination.

I remember early on his wife telling a story about how the nurse was trying to brush his teeth and he refused to let the toothbrush be taken out of his mouth. At that time he was non verbal, but his wife guessed it was because he wanted to have control over something. To show his will.

His story is universal to all of us. We might not be laying on our deathbed and fighting to hold a toothbrush in our mouths, but we are all struggling with something. A relationship. Our weight. The death of a loved one. Depression. Trouble with our kids. A lost dream. Our training.

What do we do? If you’ve been reading this blog long enough, then you know what I am going to say next.

It’s all about our attitude. Our approach to life. You get what you give. Make lemons out of lemonade. See the bright side. Never give up.

Early on in Mr. Cribby’s illness, someone posted a wonderful quote regarding hardship, challenge and overcoming adversity. It became a sort of theme song to his fight and his recovery (made even more relevant because he is from Maine):


Focus on the goal, not the difficulties. Let your instincts steer you. Keep flying one day until you arrive.

People ask me often about the stress fracture and how I stayed so positive, then came back to run the Boston Marathon a few months later. My answer? I had a choice.

#1  The Bitch Approach: Live everyday pissed off and annoyed that I was injured. Make everyone around me suffer. Complain. Whine. Have a pity party.

#2  The Cribby Approach: Accept what is and fly until I arrive.

I couldn’t do choice #1. I can’t stand to feel so down and I’m sure as shit not going to drag my husband, kids, family and friends into the crap hole with me. That’s not fair to them. I can hang on the dark side for a bit, then I need to find the bright spot. Even if it’s just coffee with a friend or swimming one lap in the pool. There is a bright spot.

In my mind, the point is not to totally avoid suffering. That’s unrealistic. The point is to know what we’ll do with it when it arrives.

There are much bigger blows in life than a stress fracture. That was just a dress rehearsal for the inevitable hard times to come. I’m not a pessimist, but I am realistic. My three legged, one eyed dog will probably die in the next year (I mean, what’s he going to lose next? His penis? Then what would he lick all day?). My parents are getting older. One of my kids could get sick. Life is unpredictable and bad shit happens. How will you cope?

How have you dealt with suffering in your life? (Besides crack). I know many of you have endured great hardships, injuries, losses, piss-poor races and disappointments, so do tell. 


Wednesday, May 18, 2011



Strolling at the Wynn

I’m back and let me give you a quick rundown so that I can go and remind my family of who I am. First question when I walked in the door from Emma: Want will you be making for dinner tonight? Answer: Toast.

I will work backwards a bit here and say that this trip was the shit because of the first time in going to Vegas for 9 years, I actually won enough money to cover my entire trip. It was a sweet, surreal moment that had me doing this:


In case you can’t tell, we were on the 60th freaking floor. Highest floor of the Wynn. When I checked in I said, “Don’t you all know who I am? I am SUAR. I demand the best room on the property.” If only. No one has a freaking clue who I am except you and my children and parents.





This fine tale of victory took place at the Hardrock last night. Erika and I walked in, it was kind of dead and we were adopted by a bunch of young 20-something's in town for a bachelor party. I was wearing a scarf, so I was called “scarf” for the night. And the scarf became very lucky – so much so that everyone rubbed their chips on the scarf for good luck. Remind me to dry clean that thing. Who knows where those chips have been. Here is the famous scarf. Target special.


The beers went down easy, the table got very rowdy and the pit boss had to get involved on a couple of occasions. One thing I have learned over the years is when to walk away, and I actually had the discipline to do it. I walked away a winner. I am a winner. And I like myself.

Our frat boys tried to pull the old, “what are you ladies doing later, want to party in our hot tub?” These kinds of things make me laugh my ass off. Let me get this straight. You want this 44 year old woman wearing a scarf and a wedding ring who is drunk off of two beers to party in your hot tub? Let me call my 13 year old son and see what he thinks.

Don’t they know it was already passed my bedtime and I had reached my drink limit for the day?

Instead, Erika and hooked up with an incredible sushi dinner at Wazuzu (Encore) and went to bed early. This morning’s workout sucked. I was dehydrated, exhausted. I barely got through a 60 minute run, but I did. I tell you, the Wynn Fitness Center is heaven. I walked into the spa changing room to put on different shorts (no, mine weren’t soiled. I was changing from bike shorts to running). It was insane in there. I stole a bunch of stuff including that lamp.



If I am ever homeless I am going to break into he Wynn spa and night and live there.

And I just love this picture because who doesn’t lie down at the slot machines?


Pretty much everything went well on the trip. I can only complain about a few things, because I have to.

  • The weather sucked. It was 20 degrees cooler than normal. We were stubborn and tried to lay by the pool, but at some point you had to stop pretending the weather was nice and cut your losses. See how crowded it is?


Okay, the lifeguard is a bit overkill with the scarf thing. It wasn’t like we were in the middle of sandstorm.


We always go to the “European Pool” which is optional topless. I never go topless because who wants to see mosquito bites, but I like looking at other people’s boobs. Yesterday some woman had the nicest body on the planet. She was gorgeous. She took off her top and shared her perfect round perky fake boobs with us. We stared. Suddenly, security came up and escorted her out. I’m guessing she was looking to make some money. I was about to proposition her myself.

  • The Wifi in our room didn't work. I complained to the front desk several times, mostly because you pay a mandatory resort fee of $20 per night for Wifi and Fitness Center and I wasn’t paying it if I didn’t get Wifi. So I put up a stink and got my way. And I spent a lot of time in the hall where the Wifi was plentiful. I’ll probably sue someone.




  • I was boarding the plane out of Vegas today, got down the jet way and realized I left my suitcase in the bar. I had only had one drink and I still left my suitcase in the bar. I was wearing a shirt that says, “I run for wine,” and the United Guy called me “Girls Gone Wild.” I am not wild, I am just aging and forgetful. He let me go get my bag and all was well.

Other than that, perfect trip with my perfect friend. Despite the Wifi issue, I LOVE the Wynn. Great rooms, great pool with boobs, great games, really good food. Good customer service.

Good to be home, though. Now get to go love up my kids and hubby a bit more. I might even wear the scarf later if everyone is really nice.

Do you go on girls’ or guys’ trips?

Any vacations planned? After Costa Rica, Boston and Vegas, I think I’m done for awhile.

What are you making for dinner? Ken just went to get a rotisserie chicken and mashed potatoes.


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