Shut Up + Run

New Item to Try

2012-01-27T14:34:00.001-08:00

I made my way through Costco today sampling the bratwurst, the oatmeal, the pizza and the Fage yogurt. At no other time in my life do I mix the most random and god-awful foods like I do when I go to Costco. I wouldn’t even dream of it or my colon would combust all over the place (like it doesn’t already).

This is Esther giving out small penises. I passed on those not wanting to eat penises in public.

So, by the time I got home at 2:00 p.m. I needed a small, healthy lunch to balance out the disgusting sample consumption. I’m not going to lie – I have a tough time with lunch. I work from home, so I always eat-in. I’m forever trying to find the “right” lunch food – satisfying yet not to heavy.

Today I found the perfect score at Costco. This is a new item. So new that the cashier had to stop for about five minutes to study the package - kind of like my role model Kristin Wiig does on the SNL Target skit. I wanted to scream at her that this was not show and tell, but I have impulse control.

Try not to get a boner like the cashier when I show you this. Here is the new item:

If you are all about New York Strip you are rolling your eyes. But, for those of us who can’t stomach a lot of meat or rich food, we have to find our options.

You take a chance when you buy something like this. Yes, I am risk taker. The last time I bought vegetable soufflés at Costco they were so hideous I actually returned them. You can return anything at Costco including stained sheets and soiled underwear. Not sure about used condoms though.

This risk totally panned out. One of my favorite lunches is to take a veggie or bean burger and put it on a spinach salad. I add in other veggies, maybe some cheese and top it with Annie’s Goddess dressing, my favorite.

Today I just did the spinach, spinach/chickpea patty and dressing because I just needed a little something.

Yes, it is spinach on spinach. Kind of weird – like putting ketchup on a tomato. But, I am a lover of spinach. Raw, in spinach pies, creamed up in a casserole, sautéed with a touch of garlic and parmesan cheese. It is a total staple in my life. In fact I never eat lettuce. Only spinach. I figure if you’re doing leaves, why not do the one that carries the most nutritional punch? Kale is good too. Basically the darker the green, the more nutritional value it will have.

Let me tell you about these patties. The inside mixture is spinach and seasonings like garlic, cumin and coriander, giving it a taste somewhat like falafel. The outside of the patty is a chick pea crust. Very tasty indeed. Perfect for a quick and healthy lunch. Low in fat and calories, 5 g of protein, 350 mg of sodium. For a pre-packaged item, that’s not too bad. It would also be really good wrapped up with avocado and hummus in a tortilla.

Price is $9.99 for 12 tasty patties.

On my next run I’m going to bring one of these instead of a gel. Just kidding.

On a different note, Laura at Running 4 the Reason is holding an auction to raise money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society with Team in Training (TIT). She is running the Rock ‘n Roll San Diego Marathon in June. Laura’s got tons of cool items she is auctioning including headphones, a Polar watch, compression gear and jewelry. Best of all is a prize pack that includes an SUAR tech shirt. Hop on over to Laura’s blog and do some bidding! It’s for a great cause.

What’s your favorite quick and healthy lunch? I need ideas.

What’s the most pathetic thing you’ve ever returned? I once returned a coffee maker. The box had dog crap on it because I had thrown it away, then changed my mind about keeping it. I’m going to hell.

SUAR

Get a Battery Life

2012-01-26T11:34:00.001-08:00

You've heard the expression: “You learn something new everyday.” You don’t even have to try to learn something new. If you are halfway conscious it will happen . Yesterday I learned that there is someone on the Biggest Loser who cries more than last season’s Bonnie. It is Gail. Oh, and real quick, another thing I learned is that there is a woman in the UK with two vaginas. They really know how to do it up right over there across the pond.

The major, main, big thing I learned today happened when I called Garmin technical assistance. I have the Forerunner 205 and purchased it almost three years go. I have loved it so much I don’t let it out of my sight.

Lately I've been getting a low battery signal after only 90 minutes of use when the watch is fully charged. The watch supposedly has an 8 battery life. WTF?

Today I talked to HeyZeus*, Forerunner Expert (FE). He told me that every year, the Forerunner loses 25% of its battery charge! Are you f’ing kidding me? That means after three years you are down to a battery life of only 2 hours. Since I always run for 8 hours at a time,this is not acceptable. Seriously, if this really is true, shouldn’t this info be known to customers when they buy the damn watch?

HeyZeus suggested letting the battery drain twice, then recharging 100%. We’ll see.

FE offered to send me a refurbished 205 for only $69, once I send them my old one. I think it sucks that you pay $130 for a watch and are lucky if it lasts for three years. And, it’s not even a watch you wear all day, everyday. That is unless you’re a complete running nerd and wear your Garmin as your regular watch. If that is the case, I know you are just trying to get attention and have people ask you in the grocery store if you are a runner.

I asked which Garmin the FE, himself, would recommend in my price range (up to $175). He recommended the 410. That’s all fine and good, but the cheapest one I can find is at Buy.com for $219 plus shipping.

So, no mater what I'm going to be shelling out some money for a new Garmin. Crap.

Did you know this fact about a Garmin’s battery life? Does it make you want to punch someone in the face?

Ever try the 410?

Did you learn anything new today?

SUAR

*Not his real name. Can’t remember what it really was.

It Probably Won’t Make Your Heart Stop

2012-01-25T15:35:00.001-08:00

I want you to rest easy because a study in the New England Journal of Medicine has just determined that “marathoners have a low risk of heart stoppages.” No shit. I could have told you that without doing a long study on it. I mean, look at how rarely someone drops dead on a marathon course. Basically, your odds are 259,000 to 1. I’ll take it compared to the risk of dying from laying on the couch eating potato chips and drinking Milwaukee’s Best like this crazy cat (although that sounds fun).

This pussy needs a life

It seems that most cardiac arrests on the course are due to clogged arteries or hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, a mostly inherited condition in which a thick heart muscle interferes with pumping. (I am tempted to say TWSS about the thick muscle and pumping stuff, but that might be tasteless). Most people who die this way had no clue about their condition beforehand.

What does this tell us?

Dying from cardiac problems while running a marathon is more likely than winning the lottery (120,000 million to 1), getting struck by lightening (2.6 million to 1) or dying from a flesh eating bacteria (1 million to 1).
Dying from cardiac problems while running a marathon is less likely than dying from a snake bite or bee sting (100,000 to 1). {source}
If you are putting off running a marathon or running at all because you think you will have a cardiac arrest, your excuse is now crap based on the research.
Ask your doctor if your arteries are clogged or if your heart muscle is thick before you pass GO or collect $200.
In the words of Dr. Gordon Tomaselli, president of the American Heart Association, states “running a marathon, if you are so inclined is a reasonably safe proposition.”

Now it’s your turn. When you boil it all down taking into account injuries and other health risks, are marathons good for you or too risky for the body?

Here’s my take if anyone cares – training and running marathons is a lifestyle. It encourages activity, getting outside, healthful eating, connecting with fellow runners and relieving stress. Any activity you do will have inherent risks, even playing golf or solitaire (c’mon work with me). In my mind, the benefits far, far outweigh the risks.

SUAR

SUAR Does 11 Randoms

2012-01-24T17:56:00.001-08:00

Jason from CETR tagged me to do this random business, so here goes.

Here are the rules:

1. Post these rules
2. You must post 11 random things about yourself
3. Answer the questions set for you in their post
4. Create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer
5. Go to their blog and tell them you’ve tagged them
6. No stuff in the tagging section about you are tagged if you are reading this. You legitimately have to tag 11 people!

Random Things About Me:

I love how a fart sounds in the bath tub. I think the whole house can hear it.
I ran a marathon before I ran a half marathon.
I am never confident before races.
I was named after “Beth” from Little Women (I don’t think SUAR was a character in that book)
I used to have underwear with the days of the week on them.
One time I got kicked out of a sex shop for throwing an unmentionable across the room.*
I met Ken in the backseat of a car.
I love Altoids, but rarely want the whole thing. I spit them out all over my car.
I once jumped the turnstile of a metro stop in Paris and almost got arrested. Too much kir royal, peut etre?*
I drink about one soda a year
Since moving to Colorado my eyes are always bloodshot. It’s not the medical marijuana. It’s the dry air. Or that’s what I'm telling you.

*Occurred over 20 years ago. I’m much more mature now.

Jason’s Questions to Me:

Which do you prefer: Vanilla or Chocolate Cake? Lemon
Which would you do: Jump out of a plane or Bungee jump off a bridge? Already jumped out of a plane. I’m done.
One week, all expense paid vacation: Where do you go? Greece
Favorite Celebrity? Will Smith
What did you eat for breakfast today? Banana, peanut butter and jelly sandwich
Do you pass gas in front of your significant other? Duh. Then I give him a Dutch oven.
Nickname? Skank
Favorite Vegetable? Long, curved cucumber
Favorite Commercial Of All Time? All of the commercials during election time
Do you still write checks? Only for meth.
Are you working in the field in which you obtained your college degree in? No. I didn’t get a degree in blogging.

My Questions for you unlucky tagged people:

In five words or less, tell me your most embarrassing moment (example - mine would be boyfriend, toilet, overflow).
What’s one habit you need to break?
What’s your favorite book of all time?
Have you ever cheated on a test or a partner (don’t need to tell me which one)?
If you weren’t doing your current job, what would be your profession?
Do you think Bob Harper is gay?
What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?
Would you be able to run further or faster?
What food gives you gas?
Ever done a cleanse or had a colonic?
What’s your dream marathon?

People Tagged (sorry if you’ve been tagged already, “toughski shitski” as my dad used to say. Do it again):

There. Done. Did you learn anything about me? I know – between the bath tub farting and sex shop games you probably are very envious of my varied and amazing life. Let me know when your post is up so I can be sure to check it out. I really want to read your answers to #1 & #4.

SUAR

Oh, Ship!

2012-01-24T13:55:00.001-08:00

Being the opposite of how I was feeling last night when I wrote this post, this day could not have started out better. I think I just needed to get some things off of my chest. And, yes, grief is not a straight line. It’s more like an obstacle course over high mountains and low riverbeds.

This morning, after feeding the kids French toast and getting them out the door, I had this text exchange with Sam who, in all of his adolescent glory, fails to remember things like permission slips, where he put his iPod and what time I’ll pick him up.

Sam: Did I leave my order forms on the counter?
Me: Yes (not for a second offering to bring it to school because I am mean)
Sam: Ship!

I guess “ship” falls in the category of “fudge” or “heck.” Where you almost cuss, but don’t. Kind of like, “I ship my pants!” when you don’t really mean you sent your pants via UPS.

Sam tends to misplace all kinds of crap and blames it on me. How did the mom become the scapegoat anyway? I mean I carry you for nine months with your ass wedged under my right rib, and I push you into the world, a watermelon through a straw. I let you suckle at my breasts for another nine months, only stopping because you got teeth and started crunching down on my tender nipple like it was beef jerky. Now I am to blame for everything.

Yes, this is yours truly. Don’t vomit. Sam actually came out looking like that. Not kidding.

Honestly and at the risk of sounding annoying, Sam is about the best teenager (with dementia) any parent could hope for.

After the text exchange, I picked up Joie and we head to the foothills for a 7.5 mile trail run. It was over cast, pretty nipply and lightly snowing. In my mind, this is perfect running weather. We had never done this trail before and quickly found ourselves unable to talk due to heavy breathing (yes, Joie is that attractive). We scaled boulders. Yes, as in very large rocks (3 feet wide in some places). Sometimes it was tough to see where the trail was. Over the first two miles we gained about 700 feet. For those of you who don’t know what that means, get on your treadmill and set the incline at 8%. Then glue a few rocks to the belt and go for two miles. Voila!

Once we reached the top, we cruised for a bit and were afforded the most amazing views of the Continental Divide. We only saw one runner and a gaggle of hard core girl mountain bikers. These are not my pictures (obviously because my pictures suck), but this gives you an idea of this trail. Just pretend that it is cloudy, gray and snowing. These are taken on the Bitterbrush Trail where we were (Lyons, CO):

Yes, this is part of the trail.

You all need to come out here and do this run. It is one of my favorite trail runs to date. Second only to my run with Dean, because I need to remind of you that anytime I can. Yes, that happened over a year ago, but is their a statute of limitations on bragging and name dropping?

This run sealed the deal that Joie and I are signing up for the Turkey Track Trail Marathon in June. It begins in the small town of Pagosa Springs, CO (southwest part of the state, elevation 7,000 feet). It is actually 26.33 miles, so I’m calling it my first ultra and you can’t stop me. That last .13 miles is going to be hell.

I’ve never done a trail marathon and cannot wait. I think the best part about it will be getting to train in this ugly shit-hole landscape called Colorado. Plus, after the marathon the website states there is a “killer party at Pagosa Brewing.” Colorado microbrews after spending the day running the trails? Perfection.

Three things healed me today. 1) Being out in the beauty and grace of nature, 2) running, and 3) being with a dear friend who loves me. Then I went to the grocery store in my running tights and showed the greater public my almost-45-year-old drooping ass and crotch creases (aka “the toe”).

What is your next big, “A” race? Have you signed up for it yet? What are you waiting for?

Ever done a trail marathon or ultra race on trails?

If you have a teen, what change are you seeing? Dream child or demon? Sam is dreamy thus far. Time will tell. I was a pretty ornery teenager, so karma might be a bitch.

SUAR

Pink Heart

2012-01-23T20:59:00.001-08:00

A reader, Jana, sent me a poignant email tonight. She remembered that I had commented about Kristin Armstrong’s Mile Markers. Jana had read a part of this book that reminded her of me and of Sherry.

You might have noticed that for the past couple of days I have written posts not specific to my cousin, Sherry. I think I just needed a break. As you can imagine, she is never for a moment far from my mind, as I know she is not far from yours.

Jana was referring to a chapter called “Pink Heart.” It talks about how when someone is hurting, you feel their pain even if you are not directly connected to them. It is that pure bond we share just by being human that does not allow us to simply disengage (which would certainly be the easier route) when tragedy strikes. I know you have all felt the pain of what happened to Sherry. I can tell by your comments how her story has made an imprint on your hearts.

You may recall a post a did a couple of days ago about how Sherry’s death made me think about my own mortality and the type of legacy I wish to leave behind. Kristin so eloquently tackles this subject:

I want my normal life to sparkle with the allure of the ordinary and speak to me, just the way it is. Or if there are some changes to be made, I want to be motivated to incorporate them as I go along. If I want to travel and explore, I want it to be because my heart is ticking, not because my clock is. I want to be brave enough to say the important things like "I'm sorry, please forgive me," and "I love you, please help me love you well." I want my heart to be tidy.

Why is it then, knowing what we know and thinking deeply the way we do, that we all need a wake up call?

A wake up call. Sherry brought this to us in so many ways. Maybe we are more careful when we run. Maybe we hug our babies or husband a bit closer. Maybe we truly grasp the impermanence of life and aren’t willing to let another wasteful moment go by.

Sherry’s death has impacted me in all of these ways. I am also infinitely sad and regretful for future moments I will never spend with her. I looked forward to hearing about her first marathon.I hoped our family would take another trip up north to Sidney, and Sherry and I would actually run together, something we never did in the past (I was late to the running scene). I just assumed there would be more chances. I just assumed.

My grief is wound up in the loss of this woman and the tragic unfolding of the ugliness and violence that surrounded such a peaceful person’s death. Yet, my grief is also about her family – her children who won’t have their mom present for high school graduations, when they walk down the aisle or when their babies breathe their first breaths. For her sister who was her best friend. For her husband who now goes to sleep at night with his side of the bed cold and empty, reminding him of what is not to be. For her parents who should never, ever, have to experience the death of their youngest child – most especially not in such a senseless, evil and disgusting manner.

Let’s not sugar coat it. It was as heinous, awful and evil as it gets. I hate those men. I hate them. I see their pictures and look into their eyes and am filled repulsion. My life will not be consumed by anger. No way. They will not have that affect on me. But at this moment, what they did fills me with rage. And I hate them for taking her from us. For hurting her. For hurting every single person who knew her and loved her.

And, I hate that evil is exists. I don’t want to accept it. I’ve always been so innocent and trusting, and now I’m not. It lurks in the dark corners. It is the noise the wakes me up at 1:00 a.m.. It is any car slowing down to ask for directions. It is headlights too close to my rear bumper when I’m driving alone at night.

Yet, when I get scared or lose faith, I turn to the light. The light of all that is good, kind, giving and loving. It is out there, exposing the dark corners. I know it and I trust in it.

Sherry’s body is still not found. I know she is dead because that is what I’ve been told. A tiny bit still holds out for a miracle that I know will not happen.

Rest in peace Sherry. I love you. I wish I had known you even better. And, I’m sorry.

How has what happened to Sherry affected you personally?

SUAR

Let’s Make It Simple

2012-01-23T15:22:00.001-08:00

Today I will take a rest day. Today I will go to get my left ass cheek (LAC) massaged by the almighty Matt who knows how to make it all better. Today I will not make things harder than they need to be. Spending more time on things does not necessarily produce better results. In many instances, it can be classified as “spinning your wheels.” I am the queen of the spin.

This is what I’ve discovered about myself: I often put things off because I make them more complicated than is warranted. Instead of making a grocery list of basic items for simple meals, I think I have to come up with some new and fancy menu plan. Instead of answering an email I received with a basic “thank you” or “no, thank you,” I think I need to write a novel explaining why or why not I want or don’t want to do something.

I think many of us do this with exercise. Instead of just heading out for 30 minutes of moving our bodies, we think we have to have a plan or run a certain pace or exercise every stinking day. Not the case. Keeping it basic and simple is the key to success. One thing at a time leads to big things over time.

When we over-think, we self sabotage. When we over-think, we tend to forget to keep it simple. I am convinced many aspects of life do not have to be as involved as we make them out to be. In order to keep it more simple, it’s time to let go of some elements of perfectionism.

Ever had a five ingredient meal? Sometimes those are way better than the complex 20 item recipes full of hard to find stuff like marinated bull testicles.

Last night’s dinner- Easy Chicken Tacos:

6 chicken thighs
1 can green chilis
1 can pinto or cannellini beans
2 T taco seasoning

Dump in crock pot for six hours. Shred chicken, mash beans. Serve in multi grain taco shells. Watch family devour.

Simple. Basic. Authentic. The anti-fancy.

This is not my photo.-> I would never use a cloth napkin or a sprig of cilantro. Or a lime on the side. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

What’s something you make harder than it has to be? (TWSS)

What’s your favoritist (it is a word) go-to quick dinner? Feel free to share recipe.

SUAR

Best Invention

2012-01-22T11:12:00.001-08:00

A bunch of us met outside of Boulder for a trail run this morning. It was so windy and cold that I cried tears of despair when I had to get out of the car. There are few things I hate worse than being cold. Okay, maybe when people imitate characters from Monty Python – that’s worse than being cold. Fortunately, no one has ever imitated characters from Monty Python while I was cold. That would be simply cruel.

I should have just brought my camper like this guy did because then I could just roll out of bed, put away my joint and banjo, and step onto the trail.

I forgot how much I love to run with a bigger group. I am usually either by myself or with one other person. There is always someone running your pace and always someone to talk to. I like to run ahead so I am the winner. Yes I am that person.

The only drawback to being with a big group is that it’s a bit awkward if you have to excuse yourself off the trail to take a leak or crap. It’s not like there is any secretive way to do that. Fortunately, the poop gods did not visit me today.

Let’s play “Where’s Bambi?” We saw some deer, but do you see some deer?

We got to the top and did a loop around. The views are amazing, even on a dreary day like today:

The miles flew by as we chatted away. We all finished up and I was introduced to the best invention since the goldfish carrying case:

Charmin To Go toilet tissues. The guy behind me likes them too:

Hello, lover. Where have you been all of my life?

In the end we did 8 miles in 1:30 with about 1,000 feet elevation gain. I am so fast that pictures of me are always blurry. Either that or my phone camera bites.

We stopped for hot coffee on the way home. If you don’t have a Vic’s in your town, I am very sorry:

At home I whipped up a plate of French toast bigger than my head:

If you don’t trail run or have never done it, you are missing out. You just are. It is completely and totally different than running on the road, bike path, etc. You have to focus constantly so you don’t fall on your ass. You dodge rocks, roots, horse poop, snow, fallen trees. You climb until your heart is beating out of your chest. No cars, no noise except for the wind through the trees and the roar of the occasional mountain lion. The whole landscape is your bathroom. These are the very reasons I want my next marathon to be on the trails. I was just kidding about the mountain lion, although that did happen to me once.

An update: I am working out details for the virtual run for Sherry. Stay tuned. If you missed it, People Magazine did an article on Sherry this past week.

Do you trail run? Which do you prefer – roads or trails? I’m not sure. I love the trails, but I also love some of my go-to road runs. Dirt back roads are another favorite for me.

What’s your favorite post-workout food? I love donuts, but my French toast rocks the house.

Do you prefer to run solo, with one other person, or in a bigger group? I like all three. There is a time and place for each.

What’s the best invention there ever was? The remote control fart machine or Charmin To Go.

SUAR

PS: Check out the latest Refuel video from the finish line at the Rock ‘n Roll Las Vegas race. You would never guess from my annoying, perky voice that I was about to either puke or crap my pants.

On the Bleachers

2012-01-20T16:16:00.001-08:00

If you are in Colorado and the wind woke you up last night, raise your hand. It was outrageous and loud enough to stir me out a Blue Moon beer-induced sleep. I don’t know about you, but when I wake in the middle of the night, there is no turning over and going back to snoozeville like when I was ten years old. My mind starts racing, running marathons of god- knows-what all over the place.

When I woke up last night at about 3:30 a.m., I was thinking about Sherry, like it seems I always am these days. I had read some news reports before bed (never a good idea). One eerie detail really stuck with me. Sherry left her house at 6:30 a.m. to go for a run. At 6:40 a.m. she was kidnapped by two men who had reportedly driven into town after driving all night from Colorado. It seems they were just looking for trouble and Sherry was in the wrong place at exactly the wrong time. It’s almost like being struck by lightening.

Ten minutes. She got about a mile from her house when she was abducted. Ugh.

Impossibly, one week ago we found out Sherry was dead. She and her sister, Rhonda, were going to go out to their parent’s ranch after she got back from her run. How many times have you made plans to do something “after your run?”

The loss of Sherry has made me think deeply about the mark I want to make in my own life. I ask myself if I am living in such a way that people will speak of me how I wish they would speak of me after I take my last breath. They probably won’t be talking about how fast I ran a marathon or if my abs resembled a six pack. They will most likely be talking about my approach to life and relationships. I can only hope I give them something good to say.

Some of Sherry’s students remember her in this article. She made a difference for so many people.

It is funny how death makes us think about life and how well or not-well we are living it. It also gives us an up front and personal perspective on how temporary things are. It screams at us to STOP WAITING. Life is today and it may not be tomorrow.

Everyday I read a passage from the Book of Awakening, and today’s message rang so true:

The further I wake into this life, I realize the extraordinary is waiting quietly beneath the skin of all that is ordinary. Light is in both the broken bottle and the diamond, and music is both in the flowing violin and the water dripping from the drainage pipe. It is on the porch as well as on top of the mountain. Joy is in both the front row and the bleachers, if we are willing to be where we are.

Be where we are.

If being where we are is on the bleachers that hurt our asses, so be it. We need to not pine for things to be different, because as we do that we lose sight of the beauty of the present moment. We all think the grass is greener. Maybe it is, but likely it isn’t. Take a look around. You have it pretty good, don’t you? I do.

How do you want to be remembered? Are you living your life that way?

SUAR

It Goes On

2012-01-19T13:55:00.001-08:00

Despite what you may have read in the news, Sherry’s body has not been found. We wait.

I am finding out that in the midst of loss and tragedy, there are still fantastic things. I don’t think we need to feel guilty about finding enjoyment when tragedy strikes. The nature of life is that it goes on. We also go on with it whether we want to or not. We move in and out of grief just as surely as we breathe. Emotions can fluctuate on a dime, and can be triggered by the littlest and most random of things. I think there is so much beauty and goodness to behold. It is fuzzier and harder to find than usual, but I know it is still there.

Fantastic #1: Ken. It’s his 46th birthday today. I should send his parents a thank you note for creating him just for me. Okay, not just for me. But, for everyone who enjoys how hilarious he is, how kind he is, what an amazing dad he is, and how he puts the toilet seat down every.single.time.

Boulder 70.3 - August 2011

Fantastic #2: Yesterday, I got this anonymous note in the mail. No return address, no signature.

It says:

“I am so sorry for your family’s loss. I found this cash this morning on the sidewalk while out running. Thought it a sign you should have it for whatever you decide to do in your cousin’s memory. Sending prayers your way.”

So thank you, whoever you are. I love people.

Fantastic #3: Last night I learned that Trader Joes is coming to Boulder. Just two weeks ago, I couldn’t take it any more and emailed Trader Joes asking why the hell they are not in Colorado. I got this response:

“While we don't have any immediate plans to open stores in Colorado (LIAR), there are certainly customer demands for a location in your home state (NO DUH). I hope this helps, and with enough customer outcry, Colorado might make the list...you never know.”

Clearly, Trader Joes has their shit together. After they got my email with my “outcry,” they secured a spot in Colorado and figured it out. Quick turn around for sure. I clearly make things happen.

Fantastic #4: Lindsey left this comment on my blog, which actually made me LOL and I HATE that term. But I did LOL. I did not LMFAO, but I did LOL. And no, I was not RATFLMAO either, but I did LOL. For some reason farts and fabric stores in the same sentence strikes me as very, very funny.

“I thought about you last night - a friend and I were in Joann fabrics and someone was walking around (I SWEAR she was following us!) crop dusting us the whole time. Thanks, lady.”

Fantastic #5: Dolvett

So, you see, in the darkness there are moments of light found in celebrations, notes from strangers, farts, shopping, and Dolvett. I’ve always said that and it’s true. Some of you may think that’s crass or inappropriate. I don’t mean to be. It’s just how I feel.

By the way, although I can’t respond to everyone, I read every single comment you leave and every single email you send. Every single one. Your outpouring of kindness has made me feel less alone, less crazy and more comforted. Thank you.

What kind of fantastic are you seeing despite tough times?

SUAR

All Day, Everyday

2012-01-17T13:49:00.001-08:00

Today I hit the gym wanting to get in a few treadmill miles before yoga. I found myself unexpectedly running very hard and very fast, at least for me. Grief does weird things. All this pent up sadness, anger and frustration needs somewhere to go.

Yesterday my stomach was in knots and I was gassy as hell – probably stress related. I had contractors doing work in our house and even though I know they let their share of farts (one guy even had his crack hanging out), my gas was off the charts and they are probably still talking about it.

I miss writing like I normally do – those funny, irreverent, crude posts. The ones where my greatest concern was who farted in yoga or that the dog was licking himself too much. Yet, I simply don’t have it in me right now. I know it will slowly return, but at this moment, and for the past ten days, I’m just feeling the weight of what happened with my cousin, Sherry. It sits with me all day, everyday.

As you know, the FBI has been slow to release any details. Bit by horrible bit they are emerging. I don’t want to know. And, yet I desperately need to know. Sometimes I want to punch someone in the face. Sometimes I want a hug. Sometimes I want to drink wine and watch bad TV. Sometimes a laugh feels so good. My biggest relief comes with sleep or when my body is moving. My workouts have been daily and intense. Pent up sadness and anger give me energy. Looking ahead gives me energy too. I want to smash my running and triathlon goals this year.

Let me ramble some more. What happened to Sherry has scared me more than I like to admit. As much as I tell myself this was a random crime and she was in the wrong place at the wrong time, it’s difficult to not look at the world differently. Evil lurks where I did not see it before. As I have said in previous posts, good still wins the fight. But, evil is out there and I’ve never been so aware of that as I am now.

Her body has not been found. A body is needed for closure for the family. If Sherry cannot come home in aliveness, may her physical body at least come home. I believe the process of healing can then begin.

I can’t express how touched I was that so many of you want to do a virtual run for Sherry. This is going to happen. However, the feedback I get from the immediate family is that it is too soon. It feels like too much to have something nationwide like this run occur just yet. So, PLEASE, do not lose your momentum. Please sit tight and join me in the (hopefully) not too distant future in a run for Sherry.

When the time is right for a run, my thought is to have a printable running bib that each person can pin on when they go out for their virtual run. That way we can collectively run on the same day with the same memento on our bodies. I am working on a design for this, but if you are especially talented at this sort of thing, let me know. I have some crazy gifts, but graphic design is not one of them. I could use some help. I want to keep it simple and sincere. Contact me if you can help.

SUAR

Sherry Arnold: A True Light

2012-01-15T19:54:00.001-08:00

I don’t know when we might head to Montana. Sherry’s body has not been found, yet she has been confirmed dead. This is all very confusing and heartbreaking for a family who just wants some closure.

Grief and sadness weigh me down. I’m so tired.

I won’t focus on the evil parts of this story. I will say there are two malicious, heinous men who did this and thousands upon thousands of loving and good people who have reached out in support. It’s not even a close contest. The good continues to outweigh the evil by a long shot. That’s where I will put my attention.

Ken and I ran a quiet 8 miles today. We didn’t talk about Sherry, but I know we both thought about her. Such an event changes how you see things, how you feel about people. Priorities get very clear very fast when something like this happens.

During the run, I rolled my ankle once, spit on myself twice and squatted in a gaggle of trees (gaggles are geese, but what’s a bunch of trees?). Ken remarked that there is never a dull moment when running with me because I tend to have a lot of issues. So, sue me. I have a lot of issues. The run helped to clear my head and to give me some peace. There is just something about the wind on your face, your feet on the road and your elevated heartbeat that makes it all okay for just a bit.

I am fine-tuning the details of a virtual run for Sherry, but I want the immediate family’s blessing before I move forward, so stay tuned.

As is the case for all of you, Sherry’s been on my mind non-stop. I wonder about her final moments and am devastated by what might have occurred. It haunts me day and night. I try to gather up memories that I have of her. Sherry and I met when I was ten and she was nine, but then went years without seeing each other. We re-united as adults.

My earliest memory of Sherry is from when my family embarked on an adventure we called “Our West Trip.” It was a month spent on the road in our yellow Toyota wagon with no air conditioning and no seatbelts (or none that we had to wear anyway). We drove from Maryland, and one of our goals was to visit “the ranch” in Sidney, Montana. This ranch was owned by my Uncle Gary’s brother and sister in law, Sherry’s dad and mom. Gary was new to our family, having just married my aunt Lizzy.I didn’t know any of these ranch people and I hoped they were okay.

Being mostly a suburban girl, I had no clue what the hell “a ranch” was. I was used to going to the mall and getting Now ‘n Laters at the convenience store. Rural to me was hanging out on the wooded bike path behind our house and catching minnows in the creek.

I quickly learned that “the ranch” was a place where you collected eggs, had steak and pancakes for breakfast and drove out to far away pastures to check on the cows. Sherry and her sister went to school in a one room school house. For me, it was like being in a foreign country. I loved every minute of it. And, I had a really bad haircut:

In a second Sherry and I were friends. Our vastly different upbringings made no difference. It took us no time to get silly. In my ten years I had never met someone I could laugh with like I did with Sherry on that trip. If we lived closer, we would have been inseparable. I’m sure farts were involved because I think she loved those too. Fart sisters.

Here’s Sherry in a sporty yellow shirt looking very interested in her new baby cousin. That’s my mom with the Dorothy Hamill haircut. Damn, hair was bad in the 70s:

Sherry was so pretty and funny. I admired her tom-boyish strength, the way she moved around that ranch with such comfort and confidence. I remember being so jealous of her because she really was all that.

After we left the ranch, Sherry and I were pen pals. She used to say “Gee” a lot in sentences she would write to me (“Gee, it was fun to meet you”), so I started doing that too. I’m sure my suburban friends thought I had lost my mind. I wanted to be like Sherry because she was just that cool. Strong, capable, funny, compassionate. A true light.

That light is not out. It continues to live through those who loved her. She made her mark in this world and it remains alive through her students, her children and anyone who knew her. She is physically gone, but she is very much still here.

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal. ~From a headstone in Ireland

SUAR

A Day Later

2012-01-14T10:42:00.001-08:00

I woke up today reliving the sadness of Sherry, as I’m sure most of you did too. I know many people are angry right now about what happened to Sherry. I am still in a profound and deep place of sadness. The kind of sadness where your heart is so heavy you can actually feel the weight of it in your gut.

Taken at my cousin Anna’s wedding in 2004

There is comfort in small things. A warm fire. A hug from my mom, Sam, Ken or Emma. Phone calls from family. Your kind emails and comments. The beautiful sunrise this morning over the snow covered mountains.

I got chills re-reading an email I got from Sherry a year ago. She and I connected a lot about running. She had had a bone removed in her leg due to cancer, and had started running after that. She had completed a half marathon and was going to train for a full. She really liked to push herself, as do I. We had this in common. She ended this email by telling me, “Be careful out there. You never know what is coming.”

Something terrible happened to her, this we know. Two men have been charged with aggravated kidnapping. One is 47 years old, and is in jail in North Dakota. The other is 22 years old and is in South Dakota. These men are such low lifes I can’t even come up with a term evil enough to label them. Bastard, cowards – just doesn’t cut it.

One theory is that she was hit by a car and the men took her to cover up the accident. This is just speculation at this time. I pray that is confirmed as the truth rather than what the alternative story might be.

Mom, Ken, Me, Dad, Emma, Sam & Sherry in 2008.

What I ask if that if you run today or this weekend, think about her. Imagine her running and smiling in the sunshine, because this is what she loved to do. Imagine that she did not suffer. Imagine that her family finds some sort of peace.

I am thinking about planning a virtual run in her honor and maybe taking donations to give to her favorite cause, to her family or for a scholarship. If I do end up going to Sidney later this week, I thought about running there in her honor and that being the day of the virtual run. I will let you know.

Thank you for caring about Sherry. Thank you for being my virtual family.

YOU be careful out there,

SUAR

The Saddest Day

2012-01-13T09:53:00.001-08:00

Sherry is not coming home. We learned this this morning. More details and information will come from authorities later today.

Announcement HERE.

I wish so badly I did not have to write this. Until now, I really thought I might see her again.

I can’t express my gratitude to you all for your support of me, her family and community. For keeping her in your prayers and heart. I know she will forever be in mine.

SUAR

The Fifth Night

2012-01-11T18:28:00.001-08:00

I wish I had something new to tell you all. I’ve got nothing. Sherry, my cousin, is still missing as much as she was missing yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that. There are no new leads. The search has been suspended, and the case is now in the hands of the FBI. Local authorities felt as though they had gone as far as they could with the information that they had. At least for now.

Don’t stop looking, please don’t stop looking.

Sherry with her daughter, Holly

You think life should stand still with such a tragedy. When the news talks about Beyoncé and Jay-Z, I’m screaming at the TV to tell Sherry’s story instead. But, such is life. It all just keeps moving on because that’s what it does.

I have to remember it’s okay to laugh and to have moments of peace, even in the midst of such despair. Last night, I ate a box chocolates in bed and rolled my eyes at how ridiculous The Bachelor is this season. I laughed my ass off as my friend Clair told me about this crazy chemo cream she puts on her face and how her neighbor asked if she had chicken pox. I loved the Bob vs. Dolvett cat fight in the gym on The Biggest Loser. This morning, I found fellow blogger and runner, Terzah, on my doorstep in the freezing wind and snow. She was stopping by to give me a Starbucks gift card just to let me know she was thinking of me. I talked to my family and found some peace in the comfort that we can provide to one another.

Yes, the circumstances point to the abduction of Sherry. The abduction of a person who brought only good to this world as a mother, wife, daughter, cousin, niece, sister, teacher and friend. We don’t know why horrific things happen to good people. But, they do happen.

Taken in 2008 on the ranch where Sherry grew up.

In the midst of the sorrow and grim reality before us, one bright light shines out to me. It is the light of goodness, the light of of peace, the light of hope. It is thousands of people, strangers to Sherry, praying for her safe return. It is the church service held last night in Sidney, Montana, sending out energy to bring her home and comforting those closest to her. It is the millions of tears shed for a mom, teacher, wife and runner who was out doing what she loved to do and never came back. It is every person who has reached out to me, to her family, to help in the search effort. It is the power of the goodness of humanity. And, the light of spirit, God, whatever you call it, moving through us and connecting us.

Sherry's disappearance has shaken me and you to the core. It symbolizes our worst fears. That we will suffer. That we will leave those we love too early. That we will suddenly and inexplicably vanish into thin air. Her story is relatable on so many levels, and I am convinced that is why, even if you did not know her personally, you care deeply about her and her loved ones.

I know for a fact that there is more goodness in this world than evil. What has happened to Sherry is evil. The response nationwide is pure goodness. That comforts me beyond words.

The view from Sherry’s family’s ranch

It’s getting dark again and that makes my heart hurt. As the sun sets on the fifth night that Sherry has been gone, I continue to hope. I have visions of her courageously fighting her way to safety. I will carry this until I have reason not to.

You are my community, my support system, my friends. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kind words, prayers and support. You have made me feel less alone. You are the goodness.

SUAR

Waiting for Something. Anything.

2012-01-10T11:36:00.001-08:00

I obviously don’t have it in me to write an upbeat or typical SUAR post. I will say that running, biking and yoga have been a tremendous and welcome distraction these past few days. It’s probably the only time when my mind rests a bit.

I go through the motions of working, tucking in the kids at night and grocery shopping, but I do it with distraction and a heavy heart. Yesterday I even drove by my own house, not realizing I’d passed it by. If you’ve ever had a crisis or a significant loss you know what I am talking about. You feel trapped underwater and plagued by continued thoughts of “How could this happen?” and “Why did this happen?”

Nothing new has been uncovered about my cousin, Sherry. The search has extended for ten miles outside of the town, but still nothing. The FBI has been called in. Sidney, Montana is very close to the border with North Dakota, so if she was abducted, it is possible she was taken over state lines.

The only piece of evidence found so far is her running shoe. It was found in a ditch off of a road called the “truck route,” a place Sherry ran often. It is a road that thousands of trucks and vehicles use to get to the nearby oil fields. As is reported on the news, “The FBI and local law enforcement are investigating the possibility that Arnold was abducted from the small town along the North Dakota border, which has been changing rapidly in recent years due to an oil boom.”

The recent oil boom has brought a new dynamic to this small town of 5,000. The population has grown and despite a bump in the economy for Sidney, the impact has not been positive overall, as many townspeople have reported.

This is where the shoe was found (Good Morning America video HERE):

The FBI spoke to Sherry’s parents last night and assured them: "They wouldn't give up until they had found something or found Sherry." Searchers have turned out in the thousands, checking ditches and barns and any other conceivable place she could be. This part of Eastern Montana is very rural and remote with wide open plains. Big sky country for sure.

A few years ago when we visited Sherry and her family, this picture was taken. It gives you an idea of the amazing and vast landscape.

On this day, we all hiked up a one of the buttes in the Sidney area with Sherry’s family. You can not imagine a more welcoming or warm group of people. How could this happen?

I hope Sherry is not afraid. I know she is a faithful person who would seek comfort from God at this time. I hope she somehow feels the overwhelming love and support from her family, friends, students and community. We are just waiting for her safe return. I cannot thank you enough for sharing her story and for the love you have shown to me too.

SUAR

No News

2012-01-09T09:13:00.001-08:00

How does someone just disappear?

After a fitful night of tossing and turning with unsettling visions racing through my brain, I took a run this morning. For Sherry. I visualized her safe return. I prayed for no fear or suffering. As I took in the gorgeous mountains and breathed the crisp winter air, I imagined Sherry safe, smiling and running. That girl loves to run.

If you missed yesterday’s post, my friend and relative, Sherry Arnold, has been missing since Saturday morning when she took a run in the small town of Sidney, Montana. Her shoe was found Saturday afternoon. Extensive searching by hundreds of volunteers and the National Guard have turned up no leads. The story is now making national news with hopes that someone, somewhere, knows something.

All day yesterday, I kept silently repeating, “Sherry, where are you?”

Yes, I have a personal connection to this story. Yet my fears and grief are a tiny fraction of what her family, friends, students and community are facing right now. My heart simply breaks for everyone who is hurting and those who are missing their mother, their wife, their teacher, their coach, their daughter, their friend.

I know not everyone wears their heart on their sleeve like I do. To me, putting it out there helps me to cope and to process. Sharing sorrow and tragedy brings us all closer and make us realize that we are more alike than we are different. Through desperate times comes an outpouring of love and support that reminds us of what is important.

I appreciate your support more than you know. On some level – be it as a mother, a runner, a woman – most of us can identify with this story.

I am remaining hopeful for a happy ending. Sherry has a strong and faithful spirit. She is a cancer survivor and a fighter. Please keep her in your thoughts.

SUAR

Missing

2012-01-08T12:10:00.001-08:00

I am sick over this.. Sherry - a friend, family member, wife, mother and teacher -went out for a run early yesterday morning in the small town of Sidney, Montana and never came home. I have known Sherry since we were ten years old. She is the niece of my Uncle Gary and Aunt Lizzy.

Our family went to visit Sherry at her family’s ranch in Montana three years ago. Sherry is a high school math teacher and mother to two children. She is beloved in her small, tight knit community.

In our later years, Sherry and I bonded about running and while we did not see each other often, she is one of those people who exudes kindness, generosity and genuineness.

Her shoe was found yesterday (more info HERE).

Hundreds of people are searching for her. The National Guard has been called in.

Please say a prayer and/or send a good thought to Sherry and her family. Please pray/wish that she is okay and that she is not suffering. Please pray/wish for her safe return.

Certainly if you have any info or tips, contact authorities at 406-433-2210.

Be careful out there,

SUAR

Please Help Make Me Strong

2012-01-07T13:52:00.001-08:00

I remember the first time I learned what an oxymoron was. I was sitting in my eighth grade classroom desperately waiting for the bell to ring so I could snag that box of Jell-O out of my locker, lick my finger and dip it into the sweet sugar powder (please tell me I am not het only one who ever did this). The teacher, Ms. Weiner (not kidding), described an oxymoron as a figure of speech that was contradictory by its very nature. She gave the universal example of an oxymoron: jumbo shrimp.

“Jumbo shrimp?” I thought. It took a second, then the cleverness of the term descended upon me. “I get it! It’s big, but it’s small!” I was so stinking bright in the eighth grade it hurts. And, I was a style-fashionista (how ‘bout those cuffed jeans) with a middle hair part:

Shortly after that I become an expert in oxymorons. Some of my favorites:

Butt Head
Pretty Ugly
Mild PMS
Marital Bliss
Freezer Burn

I learned that sometimes oxies even show up in pictures:

Shut up already about the oxymorons, you might say. There is a method to my madness. Today I have decided my entire body is an oxymoron. I am a strong weakling. While I have decent endurance and muscle definition, I am inherently not balanced, not truly strong. Like most runners. I ignore strength training like I ignore the fact that the filter on the furnace needs to be changed or that the toilet paper roll is empty.

If we know it’s good for us, why don’t we do it? Probably because it blows. It’s not sexy. But, like flossing your teeth, it needs to happen or the dental hygienist will hunt you down and kill you.

I’ll tell you right now why I don’t strength train. I don’t know how. I have never done it. I don’t know how to work the machines, except that spread eagle one where I show the entire gym the crotch of my shorts. I have no clue which exercises/moves are best for runners. I know I’m a broken record. I was supposed to start this about a month ago, but I am a winner loser.

This is where you come in. Get me unstuck.

Is strength training a part of your routine?

If you have a strength training program, I need some pointers. What exercise or plan have you found most helpful to you as a runner? Any links you could share?

Parting is such sweet sorrow,

SUAR

20 Running Instructions

2012-01-06T13:49:00.001-08:00

While I don’t know him personally or in the Biblical sense, the Dalai Lama seems like a pretty smart, insightful and compassionate guy. Recently, I read his “20 Instructions for Life.” If I could only be 1/24th as enlightened as Mr. Lama or Ms. Theresa (“Mother” being her first name), I’d have it made in the shade. Here are the 20 Instructions. While they apply to life in general, I’d argue they’re really about running, specifically. So, naturally I’ve added my two cents.

Dang! He even looks so nice and happy

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk. Risk running your first race. Risk getting tired and hitting the wall. Risk having people pass you. Risk making a fool of yourself. Risk sacrificing to train hard. Risk crapping your pants. Gain: great achievement and love for yourself. I promise.

2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson. Train like a mother and get injured? Fail to make your PR? Run the Las Vegas marathon and puke your guts out? There is always something to be learned from the most difficult of circumstances. Sure you want to punch someone in the face when they tell you that, but like it or not, it’s true. If and only if you are willing to see the lesson.

3. Follow the three R’s:
- Respect for self (never pee or tie your shoe in the middle of the course)
- Respect for others (never pee or tie your shoe in the middle of the course) and,
- Responsibility for all your actions (never pee or tie your shoe in the middle of the course).

4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck. This is another one that is so true it is annoying. It falls into the, “when one door closes, some bitch opens a window,” or something like that. The bottom line is, we hold on so tight to what we NEED our goals and achievements and agendas to be. Often when we don’t get what we want, we are pushed in a different direction that is exactly what we needed instead.

5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly. This is my favorite, and almost seems un-Dalai-Lama-like. Clearly he is telling us to learn the rules for registering for a race, but then to have complete disregard and run as a bandit.

6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great relationship. Make it clear from the get-go that your training comes before everything else. If your partner/spouse disputes that, tell them that they need to get on board so that this dispute does not ruin your relationship.

7. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it. If you are running a race and spit on someone or fart on them as you pass (crop dusting), immediately apologize and keep moving. Do not let your guilt slow you down.

8. Spend some time alone every day. Running alone and listening to your breath and your feet hitting the ground is one of the great human experiences. At least to runners. Other people just think it’s crap.

9. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values. This simply means when you cross the finish line of a race, hug someone named “change,” but never give up your virginity right there (what?).

10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer. Do not carry keys or change in your pocket when you run with a group. They will hate you.

11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time. Work your ass off. Make no excuses. You’ll set a good example for others. And, if the day ever comes when you can’t move anymore, you’ll be glad you did.

12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life. Always kiss your spouse or partner on your way out the door for your four hour training run. Always thank them for doing the dishes and feeding the kids while you are gone. Don’t forget to give them a special sexual favor after they have waited around all day for you to run by them for one second during your marathon. This is very loving and grateful of you.

13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past. If you are arguing about how your partner did not rub your feet after your race, don’t bring up all the past times he/she has failed you after races. It’s just not fair.

14. Share your knowledge. It is a way to achieve immortality. You should always do this at the gym. Go up to someone on a treadmill and tell them that they need to work on their running form. Go into great instruction about heel vs. forefoot striking and keeping good posture. They will love it and you will live forever!

15. Be gentle with the earth. This is exactly why you should always shit in cornfields when you run. Fertilization of the precious earth!

16. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before. Great Wall of China Marathon, here you come! Who cares if it’s 2,459,659 vertical steps?

17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other. This is too deep for me. I got nothin’.

18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it. You gave up sleep, a normal G.I. tract, socializing, sex, drinking, parenting, walking the dog, lots of money and all you got was a stinking marathon medal. Total and complete SUCCESS!!

19. If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. When you pass someone in a race, always tell them “good job” or “nice pace.” People love to hear that as their ass is being handed to them.

20. If you want to be happy, practice compassion. Wait, didn’t we just go over this? Oh, I get it. Subtle difference. Same response. When you pass someone in a race, always tell them “good job” or “nice pace.” People love to hear that as their ass is being handed to them.

Honestly, I really dig this man and have long been a fan (rhyme). His truths always bring your heart back to the right place.

What’s your favorite Instruction from above?

SUAR

The Invasion

2012-01-05T13:58:00.001-08:00

Please don’t get all offended because I say that the gym is annoying this time of year. It doesn’t mean I don’t support people working out or having new starts. It just means that the gym is annoying this time of year. Suddenly in January everything becomes super crowded, then by February it’s over. Where’s the follow through?

Don’t misread me. I’m not annoyed that the gym is crowded. That shows that people want to get healthy. I am annoyed that people give up and stop coming.

If you are part of the 13% (I made that number up) who actually stick to your new 2012 plan, you are amazing. You should be congratulated for doing what you said you were going to do.

There is nothing magical about January. Any day of the year is time to start. There is nothing magical about taking on a goal so huge that you’ll never be able to accomplish it. That is just begging failure. There is, however, something magical about taking one small step every day in the direction of making yourself who you want to be. That is not about the month in January. That is about every single day.

I’ve been there. Believe me. Broken promises and resolutions, failed commitments. I used to be 30 pounds heavier and not be able to run a mile. Eventually, I stopped making excuses and stuck to it. That’s all. End of story. Everyone starts somewhere.

Speaking of gyms, I read a hilarious article in the Wall Street Journal today: 27 Ways to Conquer the Gym. My favorite truths:

No one in the history of gyms has ever lost a pound while reading The New Yorker and slowly pedaling a recumbent bicycle. No one.
Don't fall for gimmicks. The only tried-and-true method to lose 10 pounds in 48 hours is food poisoning.
Gyms have two types of members: Members who wipe down the machines after using them, and the worst people in the universe.
Avoid Unsolicited Advice Guy, who, for the small fee of boring you to death, will explain the proper method for any exercise in 45 minutes or longer.
Fact: Thinking about going to the gym burns between 0 and 0 calories.
There is no secret. Exercise and lay off the fries. The end.

How is your gym in January?

What would be your advice to “conquering the gym?” My advice is that you don’t have to wear perfume and make up to get in a good workout.

SUAR

Like an Old Boyfriend

2012-01-04T13:13:00.001-08:00

I am the first to admit that technology intimidates me. I get into my comfort zone with certain items (i.e. laptop, watch, etc.) and I don’t deviate much. Anytime I get a new device, I get in a bad mood. Which is weird because a true materialist would never be in a bad mood when they got something shiny and new. So, I am either 1) not materialistic or, 2) easily overwhelmed and resistant to change. Between you and me, it’s #2. It’s always about #2.

I got the Timex Global Trainer for Christmas. Ever since I laid my eyes on this GPS watch several months ago, I’ve been drooling over it. Or, the idea of it. Multisport distance/pace tracking, water proof, altitude indicators, heart rate monitor, bike mount. When I priced it however, it was $300. Turns out, the price came down considerably and Ken found it on Amazon for $122. Major score.

For the past ten days, the watch has sat in the packaging on the table. I’ve been afraid. My brain was so fried from Christmas, work, having the kids home and The Bachelor that I didn’t want to learn something new. But, last night I did it. I decided to do something that scared me because I preach that shit all of the time.

The almighty watch came out of its packaging.

At first glance, this thing is freaking huge. Like the size of a microwave. I already run with a ginormous (hate that word) watch (the Garmin 205), but this is bigger, or at least feels that way on my wrist.

The “little” watch is not synched

I knew to really understand this watch I’d have to invest some time. I sat on the heating vent with my iPad and read DC Rainmaker’s review, which is like the War and Peace version of a gear review it was so thorough. (BTW, what you are reading here is not a review, but more my personal experience. For kick ass reviews on many things do check out DC Rainmaker’s blog).

I stole this picture from DCRM if you want to compare the Timex to your own watch or need another use for your rolling pin:

I also read all of the reviews on Amazon (some good, some terrible) as well as the user manual. I charged the watch, did my set up and went outside to test the satellites. I couldn’t get a signal (one of the problems many people had reported). “It’s nighttime,” I thought. “Maybe the satellites are having sex or are asleep.” Benefit of the doubt. Wishful thinking.

This morning I quickly learned that the sheer size of the watch is not the issue. It is the way it fits on my wrist. It knocks up against my wrist bone and hurts like a mother. If I wear it further up on my arm, it slips. I decided that if I ran with the watch and LOVED it, I could find a way to deal with the “fit” issue, maybe by wearing an armband underneath or gaining weight in my wrist.

I got to the trailhead in Boulder, ready to go with my new watch and my new Asics running mittens. Yes, mittens. Genius. Totally necessary for someone like me who has Raynauds and needs the whole team of fingers to keep me warm. Gloves just don’t do the trick.

Yeah, as always feel free to go on about what a crap hole I live in

The six mile running experience with the watch stunk. Some of it was admittedly user error and a learning curve so tight it looked like this:

However, these are the non-user-error-issues:

Took a long time (2 minutes) to get a GPS signal. My Garmin never takes more than 30 seconds.
The watch wasn’t comfortable. I wanted it to be, but it wasn’t.
Despite the size of the watch, the display is harder to read than on my Garmin

And, one last complaint that I did not experience today, but found out last night: while the watch is waterproof, the GPS signal does not work in the water. This means if you want to track your distance while swimming, you can’t or you have to wear it in your swim cap.

Like an old boyfriend who you ditched because you wanted to have a quick and exciting fling with your neighbor (not that I ever did that or anything), I longed for my Garmin. He’s so dependable. He starts and stops when I need him to. He doesn’t hit up against my bone (TWSS). He tracks distance in the water. What? No. Never mind that last one.

Some may say I didn’t give it enough of a chance. I say that it’s just not worth it to me. My Garmin is fine. Maybe when they work the kinks out of this one or make it sleek enough for my tender and petite wrist, I’ll be back. I mean, really, it’s not like I’m some pro athlete who needs all the bells and whistles anyway. Maybe I’ll go back to driving my car before a run to see how far it is. Like the good ol’ days.

What kind of watch do you run with? Love it, hate it or indifferent?

SUAR

One Ginormous Chopping Block

2012-01-03T15:42:00.001-08:00

Last night I was going to read Tolstoy or teach myself hieroglyphics, but to show how well rounded I am, I watched The Bachelor instead. Yes, I did. And, I learned a lot.

Girls on this show are stupid, especially when they drink

If you bring your grandmother who is on crutches, you will get a rose

If you ride in on a horse, you will get a rose

If you act like a raging insecure lunatic, you will get a rose

The show reminded me how many terms and phrases are completely overused. Here is my list of my pet peeve phrases/words (in general, not just from the show):

At the end of the day
Game on
I’m on the chopping block
Done and done
It is what it is
Whatever
Amazing!
Literally
Think outside of the box
I was all, like…
Just my two cents
My bad
Ginormous
Shut up and run (how did that get in there?)

Funny thing is, I have used every one of these at some point. Probably more than once. At the end of the day, I just have to give my ginormous two cents. Whatever.

Tonight the cadillac of all reality shows returns, The Biggest Loser. Expect lots of “Game ons!” and chopping block references Apparently pairs are split up, so crying will not be in…sob…short supply. I’m just glad Bonnie isn’t on board or it would be one long term weeping fest.

Bob and Dolvett are the only trainers, so there will be no perky breasts and/or camel toes to gawk over (unless you count those on the guys weighing in). I plan on sending the producers some XS compression tights for Dolvett. My little post-Christmas gift.

Did you know that lovebirds Jess and Ramone are now trainers at the Biggest Loser Resort? If you want, you can enter a contest to stay at the Malibu haven for four weeks. No caffeine, no alcohol, lots of sweating and moving . Sounds like a convent on steroids. Plus, you’ll get to watch Ramone fawn over Jess while she acts like she doesn’t care. Details HERE.

What’s your most hated phrase?

Will you tune in for TBL this season or have you had enough?

Favorite reality show? Or are you too cool for that sort of thing? Mine is TBL. Closely followed by Toddlers and Tiaras (JK)

SUAR

Why Fat Albert Never Adopted

2012-01-02T18:19:00.001-08:00

The Biggest Loser kicks off again tomorrow. So, let’s talk fat (and dream about Dolvett).

Most of you know I work in the field of international adoptions when I’m not talking trash on this blog. Recently, I’ve learned some new stuff. Did you know that to adopt from China you cannot have a BMI (Body Mass Index) of 40 or greater? This was a new policy beginning in 2007.

In looking at charts, a BMI of 40 means being 5’ 4” and weighing 235 lbs. or more. Or being 6’ and weighing 294 lbs. or more. This goes for either male or female applicants. Yep, that is kind of large.

When countries allow for “their” children to be adopted, they can make any stipulations they want about the applicants. In fact, any country can outrightly refuse to allow international adoptions, and many do. Basically, they can pick and choose.

On one hand, doesn’t it make sense that a country, in the best interests of its children, would not permit someone who is “morbidly obese” (this is how the chart labels those with BMI or higher) to adopt? We all know that obesity leads to many chronic and life threatening health and medical conditions. Just like the powers that be might not want someone with a life threatening disease to adopt a child, they might not want someone with such a high BMI to adopt a child. In addition, does China think that an applicant’s obesity sets a bad example for eating and exercise habits?

Conversely, does being obese mean you are not fit to be a parent? There are many extremely overweight people who are extremely effective parents. Yes, their lives may be at risk or cut short due to obesity-related conditions. Yes, they might not be able to physically do things with their kids as people who weigh less can. And, yes, one might question what kind of example is being set.

Because the “what if” game is fun - what if the applicant was on a strict weight loss and exercise plan, but had not reached their goal yet? Would that change your perspective? Don’t you think most children would prefer to be with parents who are overweight vs. remaining in an orphanage forever?

In the US, there are no weight restrictions put on adoption applicants. It is necessary, however, that applicants “be in good health.” Is it possible to “be in good health” with a BMI of 40 or above?

Do you agree that being obese should prohibit you from being able to adopt? Does being overweight to the point that it affects your health make you less of a “good” parent?

SUAR

You Ain’t Cool Unless…

2012-01-01T14:16:00.001-08:00

Last night I was blatantly reminded what shut up and run means. Some people don’t “get” the title of this blog. They think I am trying to be funny or edgy or rude. Not really. If I wanted that, I’d have named this blog “Dicks and Donuts,” or something cool like that.

I remember the day back in 2009 when I had first started this blog under it’s original name, “Run with Me.” Nothing wrong with the name except that it put me to sleep. I wasn’t necessarily looking to re-name the blog, but sometimes the flow of life morphs from a trickle to Niagara falls, and voila! divine intervention.

When I started training for my first marathon in the fall of 2008, I can't tell you how many people told me:

I wish I could do that. I'm too lazy.
I could never run a marathon. I don’t have the time.
I don’t run. It’s too hard for me.
I wish I could run/exercise/lose weight, but I’m just not motivated

Every single time, I thought: What bullshit. What excuses. And, no, I’m not perfect either.

Granted, not everyone has to run a marathon, but I never understood why people who wanted to exercise were not doing it. It’s not rocket science. You get out and do it. You turn off your brain that is feeding you rationalizations and you get out there. You shut up and run.

Ever see a double-below-the-knee amputee running a marathon or completing an Ironman? That’s shut up and run.

Do you know someone who works full time, has a family, but gets up at 4:00 a.m. every morning just to make sure his/her running happens? That’s shut up and run.

I’m sure I’m not the first or only one to use the phrase. Never said I was. I did, however, invent “Just Do It.”

ATEOTD (At The End Of The Day – most overused phrase ever), we are responsible for our lives. No one can or should do it for us. If your life is not what you want it to be, it is your fault. It is my fault. I don’t care what hand you’ve been dealt, being a victim of your circumstances gets you nowhere.

Back to last night - an acquaintance came up to me – someone I have only met once or twice when our kids played sports together. She told me she had heard about my blog, but had never read it. She still has never read it (what’s wrong with her?).

She told me that when she learned that the title was Shut Up and Run, she didn’t really get it. What the hell does SUAR mean? She looked at her own life and realized that for years she had wanted to run, but did not and could not. After she had kids, every time she would try to run, she’d pee herself a bit. Shut up and run. Shut up and run swirled around in her head. She realized that she’d used the pee thing as an excuse. She knew she could buy pads and run and that it wouldn’t matter if she peed a bit. She’d be running, something she loved and found totally invigorating. And, now she runs and pees and is ecstatic. She shuts up and pees!

At any moment we have a choice to buy our excuses and let ourselves off the hook, or we can stop doing the same thing we’ve always done (listened to our own bullshit) and do whatever it is we know we need to do.

What’s your biggest excuse for not exercising, losing weight or whatever it is you want to do but aren’t? My excuses, past and present, are usually that I think stuff will just happen and I don’t need to try to make it happen. I wait around too much.

SUAR

Bloody Wind

2011-12-31T16:26:00.001-08:00

Last night on the news, those damn meteorologists who love to repeat themselves kept talking about how windy it would be today. Not the kind of windy where your hair blows serenely away from your face making you look like a supermodel, but the kind of windy where you tie down your children and hide under a mattress so flying blenders don’t knock you unconscious.

My friend Hugh and I had a longish run planned for this morning. I kind of very much wanted to chicken out, but he wouldn’t let me. He said, “A little wind doesn’t stop me!” which made me feel like a pussy, so I told him I was good for 8 or 9 miles.

Hugh’s English heritage must make him a strong runner or something because he did three marathons in the past three months. He’s kind of bloody crazy like that. I knew I’d slow him down and he lied and said he didn’t care. The first four miles I could feel the wind at our backs and it even picked me up off the ground a few times. I knew the run back would be hell. And, it was. I’ve never run in wind like that. Plus, as we neared nine miles and I huffed and puffed my way into oblivion, Hugh remarked, “Oh, I guess I lied. It’s more like a bit over 10 miles.” Bloody hell! For the last half mile or I had to run behind Hugh just so he could block the 60 mph gusts. Yes they were 60 mph. I don’t even need to exaggerate or embellish like I usually do.

We did 10 miles in 1:27, so I was good with that considering the Wizard of Oz conditions.

In all seriousness, there was a major local tragedy today when the wind blew a branch into a man’s windshield impaling him. Really sad, sad news and my heart goes out to the family on this New Year’s Eve.

On a much lighter note, as we close 2011, here is a list of the top ten resolutions people make (from HERE):

Spend More Time with Family and Friends
Exercise
Lose weight
Quit Smoking
Enjoy Life More
Quit Drinking
Get Out of Debt
Learn Something New
Help Others
Get Organized

I am a rebel and am not doing any of these things (especially the exercise thing, I gave that up over a year ago). Instead, I am adopting some resolutions from this list (with my own commentary):

I will...

Stop drinking orange juice after I just brushed my teeth (or just stop brushing my teeth altogether)
Stop licking frozen flag poles (even if it is in honor of the Christmas Story)
Watch more movie remakes (or just more Lifetime movies like the Christmas Shoes)
Only eat white snow (brown is TOTALLY out)
Spend less than $1825 for coffee at Starbucks this year (guess I’ll order boiling water every other day)
Claim all my pets as dependents on my taxes (a three legged, one eyed pooch has got be good for something)
Talk with a robot voice all the time (because people love this even though they claim they don’t. Especially at the drive thru)
Gain enough weight to get on The Biggest Loser (so I can be closer to Dolvett and learn how to cook my Jennie-O turkey the right way)
Start smoking to lose weight (What? The Marlboro Man looked healthy)
Stop buttering my doughnuts (might use Crisco instead)
Eat more fruit... snacks (or veggie…chips)

Any resolutions for you?

What are you doing tonight? We’re going to a PARTAY. Sometimes people invite me to things.

Happy New Year! The best of the runs in 2012 to you!

SUAR

Egg Salad Is Not a Death Sentence

2011-12-30T15:09:00.001-08:00

All of you seem to have it figured out. I have no clue. Should I do this? Should I do that? My 2012 race schedule is totally non existent. This is due to my lack of decisiveness, an issue for me since I slid out of my mom’s you-know-what.

Something occurred in my childhood so repeatedly that it will forever be etched in my mind. And, I’m not talking about coming out of my mom’s you-know-what.

The memory goes like this: I am sitting in a restaurant. I could be 6 years old, 9 years old, 16 years old. I am holding a menu. I am scanning it and starting to panic. So many choices, so little time.

The waitress comes to get drink orders. “Phew,” I think. I’ll order a Coke and buy myself a few more minutes. She comes back with the drinks and I know it is “go” time. I hang back, letting everyone else order. Since there are only four very decisive people in my family, my turn quickly arises. My dad stares me down. It annoys him to no end when I can’t make a decision about what to order. I stall a bit, maybe asking a question to the waitress like, “What is your favorite sandwich?” I start sweating because I feel my dad’s eyes on me and can hear him sighing with complete frustrating and annoyance. I quickly scan the restaurant because it helps if I can see the food in real life. I am grasping at this point. I impulsively blurt out, “I’ll take the egg salad sandwich!,” immediately knowing this was a huge mistake.

My fears are very much confirmed when our orders arrive. Everyone else’s looks better. My mom’s crispy BLT, my brother’s gooey grilled cheese, my dad’s juicy patty melt. I made the wrong choice! Not only that, but everyone else made better choices. My life will never be the same. Freaking egg salad.

Funny thing is, I still do this as an adult. The other night, in fact, Ken and I were out to dinner and I bet I looked at the menu for 20 minutes. Smothered burrito? Nope, too rich. I’ll be up all night. Greek salad? Sound good, but totally unsatisfying. At the last minute I went with a burger, still questioning my choice.

Yes, we are talking about menu choices. Yet, my life is one big menu choice. Sometimes I am so afraid of making the wrong choice that I either don’t do anything or, I pick something and fret that I’ve chosen the wrong thing. One of my favorite tactics is to put off making a true decision by doing something else like having a beer. Sometimes I will ask someone else to make the decision, “No, you decide, I’m good with whatever,” but then their choice sucks. Ever do that?

Over the years I’ve tried to tell myself, there are no wrong decisions. I don’t really believe this, but it sure does make me feel better.

When we choose something, we are doing our best based on the information we have in front of us. No choice is ever a death sentence. If it doesn’t work, it can usually be undone. But, it is important to give it a chance to work.

I usually don't plan a year of races in advance – I just decide stuff as it comes. Last year Boston and the 70.3 were my biggies and I did register for them way ahead, because well, duh, you have to. This year, I’m just not sure. I’m toying with the idea of entering the lottery for the NYC Marathon. It opens on January 2.

Do you have a tough time making decisions, even about what to order or what movie to see?

Do you plan your whole race year in advance?

Ever run NYC? Is it worth all the fuss?

SUAR

Tragedy

2011-12-29T13:35:00.001-08:00

Today I had a tragedy. Due to way too much snow/slush/messy crap still on the ground, I found myself on a treadmill at the gym again this morning. This makes like 95 times in the past week, or it feels that way.

One of the things that makes the ‘mill bearable is music. I put in my ear buds, and SHIT. Are you kidding me? No battery charge. When will technology get advanced enough so I never have to remember to charge stuff? I almost turned around, slapped the guy behind me on the bike (not that he deserved it, but someone has to get the brunt of my unhappiness), and stormed out the door. However, I dug deep for inner strength, found it, and began my workout anyway.

One of my favorite things to do on the treadmill to keep it interesting (besides playing the Outlast Game) is doing hill work. This is one thing that is much easier to do on a treadmill than on the trails or road. I put the setting on “random” which means that every minute or so the incline changes. I put it on a tough setting, so that when the incline does change, it's pretty significant. I then choose my speed and don’t change it throughout the workout. This means that whether the incline is 0% or 5%, I am challenging myself to keep my same pace. It is not easy. Today’s workout was five miles at 6.8 mph (8:49 min/mile), which is a piece of pound cake while it’s on 0% incline, and a piece of hard ass shit when it’s on 5%. Or, maybe I am just a pussy.

Damn! but a hard, sweat fest is fun and satisfying (TWSS).

I rushed home, showered, and threw some 15 Bean Soup in the crockpot (I soaked the beans overnight) before heading to work. Best hearty, winter soup EVER. Guaranteed to promote flatulence! Says so on the label.

On my drive I saw this bumper sticker on someone's car and it make me laugh out loud (LOL!!). Yes, I am in fifth grade, thanks for asking.

By the way, the third installment of the Refuel with Chocolate Milk videos from Vegas was posted yesterday HERE. You can see what a dork I look like when I am trying to be serious and thoughtful. I do way better being immature and crude. The first and second episodes are HERE and HERE if you care. I find them entertaining and not just because I’m in them. Refuel did a great job putting these together. There are two more to come!

When the weather makes it almost impossible to run outside, do you treadmill-it or just skip it? Be honest. I usually weather the bad weather (wind, rain, cold temps, blistering hot temps, snow). But if it’s really slick outside I go indoors because no run is worth breaking a bone and being laid up for months with the pussy posse. I hardly ever just skip it.

Do you always run with music? I do. It motivates me. I only train without it if the race I’m training for doesn’t allow iPods.

Best bumper sticker you’ve ever seen? When I was a kid I loved “Save gas, fart in a jar” and “Is that your face or did your neck throw up?” Not sure why. Still pretty funny. Yep, still in 5th grade.

SUAR

Lucy Hatha Legging Review

2011-12-28T14:55:00.001-08:00

Do running tights or leggings look good on anyone?

Recently Lucy Activewear sent me a pair of their tights/leggings to try. I have been a fan of Lucy for a long time – but to be honest, I didn’t have any of their active wear. Up to this point, I owned some of their everyday items like this wear-anywhere-shirt (doesn’t wrinkle; totally awesome for travel):

And, a shirt/jacket (not the exact one I have, don’t think they sell it anymore!):

Awesome, quality stuff.

Review:

Hatha Leggings – $78.00

These leggings are multipurpose - for any kind of workout, from running to yoga. The day I wore them it was cold out – about 25 degrees. The tights seem lightweight, so I was worried my legs might be cold, but they weren’t. The tights are true to size (following Lucy’s size chart), but being a compression item, you can expect them to be tight. The material, made of mostly nylon with some lycra thrown in, is extremely soft and stretchy. The fabric is called Powermax, which allows for maximum compression and moisture management.

I don’t know about you, but some tights can be very restrictive. These are not that way and allowed for easy and comfortable movement. As with all Lucy clothing, the quality is exceptional.

Because these are in essence leggings, not tights, I felt kind of “naked” and was more comfortable wearing shorts over them (my way of saying the girl parts were a bit too outlined for my taste – there’s a name for that that kinda rhymes with “gamble show”).

Be aware that they are not your typical running tight material, and truly do feel more like a legging. That said, many reviewers on the Lucy site used them for running purposes.

Where do you buy your running tights? What is your favorite brand?

Do you own any Lucy apparel?

SUAR

Letting Go of the Edge

2011-12-27T13:04:00.001-08:00

I got in an early 5 mile run before heading to the airport this morning. I almost traded in my run for some extra time on the couch with my coffee and the paper. Then, I reminded myself that I am responsible for me and I’m not going to make excuses or let myself off the hook. And, as is ALWAYS the case, I was glad I did it. Invigorated, energized.

I’m now waiting for my first born, Sam, to fly off across the country. Alone. Denver to D.C. to see my brother. The plane is still at the gate, but they told me to hang out until it left. Hell, I might just stay here all day people watching. Airports never disappoint in that department. Plus, there is always someone pitching a hissy fit about something (what do you mean my German Shepard can’t fit under the seat?) and it makes for good entertainment.

He’s on there somewhere

Sam may be 14 and fully capable of wiping his own ass, but he’s just a helpless child to me. Okay, that’s a bit dramatic. He’s quite mature and all that, but I might be having just a little trouble letting go. I have to remember, you can’t get to the other side of the pool unless you let go of the edge. Whatever that means.

Yes there are those of you who will say, “What’s the big deal, my kids have been flying alone since they were fetuses,” but I am a virgin at this sending-your-kid-solo thing and I just need a moment. He asked if I would cry when he walked down the jet way. I stoically shrugged and laughed as I shook my head “no”. When they called his name and took his boarding pass, he hugged me and walked away, ready for his adventure. I hoped he wouldn’t turn around and see me standing there, eyes filling with tears. He did turn around to give me one last wave. I don’t care if he thinks his mom is overly emotional. He already thinks I’m a dork for so many other reasons; we can just add this one to the list.

Here’s the thing. I know nothing will happen to him – I mean what’s he going to do at 35,000 feet except watch Pimp My Ride, make a pass at the flight attendant and drink a few too many Cokes? It’s more symbolic of him getting older and slowly edging away from home. This is exactly what he is supposed to be doing. In fact, I support his slow departure and despite my tears, I couldn’t be more proud of the young adult he is becoming.

And there he goes…

At what age did you first fly alone? I never got on an airplane until I was 12. I didn’t fly alone until I was 20. For real.

Have you sent your kids on solo flights yet? This is my first time, but I’m sure there will be many more to come.

SUAR

Eyes Wide Shut

2011-12-26T08:02:00.001-08:00

On Christmas Eve I visited my old friend who I don’t see very often and who I don’t like very much. She once was abusive towards me and threw me onto the ground. She is boring, yet always there waiting for me. She is dependable. She cleans up well. She allows me to step all over her. She’s a haven when it’s cold outside and I have nowhere to go. You’ve got to know who I’m talking about:

The treadmill

It was a decent 7 miles at a slow pace. I was unknowingly in the throes of a UTI, so was feeling kind of off. I distracted myself by observing the guy next to me. He had his incline set at about 10%, making his treadmill look like a steep ramp at some skating park. He ran at a pace he could maintain at that incline. He was working HARD and I hoped I wouldn’t have to do CPR. It was then I noticed something unusual. He was running with his eyes closed. Yes, he was. I will never understand how he could do that and maintain his equilibrium. I should have asked.

After the run and spending the next few hours battling crowds at Pet Smart because Emma needed that one last gift for Betty Sue, the guinea pig, I spent the afternoon in urgent care. It was awesome. Lots of sick people and grumpy nurses. After I learned of my high white blood cell count, I got some antibiotics and hoped I wouldn’t wet my pants.

The rest of Christmas Eve was a blast spent with friends. Christmas day was all about family and gratitude and gifts and wine and roast beast. See for yourself:

Look! I’m like the guy on the treadmill!

Lucky got a new bed. It is a Christmas miracle his lipstick is not hanging out:

Every one of my gifts was running/triathlon related. So weird because I never talk about/write about/obsess about those things.

The mother of all GPS watches. This thing is bigger than my head.

No tie shoe laces for a quick transition:

Even this gift was about fueling myself to run:

Something about the word “cavity” just doesn’t sound right

Or, warming myself up after a run:

And something to keep my strength up, the Shake Weight! Hopefully it will not make me look like I’m doing something obscene like these people (hilarious if you have not seen it yet).

Huge thanks to Kate, my secret blog Santa, who went me this horseshoe necklace in honor of my beloved dog, Lucky. With three legs, one eye and an obsessive need to lick himself 24/7, he truly is lucky to be alive. Thanks Kate. Love your thoughtfulness and you taking the to send this to me! It might even bring me some kind of crazy PR in 2012.

What the heck is this a picture of? Take a guess.

Have you used the Timex Ironman GPS? I am debating if I will keep it or not because the reviews were only so-so.

What was your favorite gift you got this year?

Ever run with your eyes closed?

SUAR

Have Yourself a Merry Little…

2011-12-24T08:04:00.001-08:00

From my home to yours – have a Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, or Blessed Whatever You Celebrate. Thanks for reading and for being part of this amazing blogger/runner community this year!

SUAR

I Didn’t Last Long

2011-12-23T15:08:00.001-08:00

What a difference a day makes.

I was able to get out with my Yaks for a short run. Probably shouldn’t wear them around the house. Or to the grocery store. They might scare young children.

How did I get the straps on backwards?

Because it was only 5 degrees when I went, I didn’t last long – 30 minutes of frozen snot and not being able to feel my face. I will say the only runner I saw out there was myself. A bunch of pussies live around here, I tell ya!

The cold air never fails to clear my mind. By the time I got back, the kids were just rousing their lazy butts out of bed. What do they think this is? Some kind of vacation? Oh yeah, it’s vacation. For them. And I suppose a little for me, too.

Check out these daggers hanging from our back deck. You could combine these with the Yak Trax and make a torture chamber.

On a serious note, I read something really insightful today HERE, and I wanted to share it with you. If you are having a tough time these days, consider this:

What would your life be like if you said to yourself:
“I am enough.
“I do enough.
“I have enough.” ?

Kind of changes your perspective, eh?

SUAR

The winner of the Zipfizz giveaway is Amee from I Run & Do Stuff. Email me at beth@shutupandrun.net to claim your prize! Check out her blog…she lost 100 POUNDS!

A Bit Naughty

2011-12-22T16:20:00.001-08:00

Today I had great plans to go to the gym, run on the treadmill, do some adductor (aka spread eagle) weights, and contort my body in yoga. None of it happened. We got a bunch of snow (a freaking foot) and I got lazy.

What can I say? The queen of no excuses made excuses today. I am just being honest. If you want to burn me at the stake you’ll have to make your way through buckets of snow and catch me first. Then I’ll make you laugh so hard you’ll want to be best friends and have a sleepover, and you’ll forget all about the burning thing.

I’ll make up for it tomorrow, I promise. I have grandiose plans to run, maybe with my special Yak Trax.

Meanwhile I cranked up the Christmas tunes on Pandora and wrapped gifts. Just me and Lucky shut ourselves up in my office for my super secret wrapping extravaganza.

I almost suffocated. This week I changed Lucky to canned food because he is getting old and I feel sorry for him. Let’s face it, in his old age he needs some spoiling. Kind of like when humans get old and start eating tapioca in the nursing home. The canned food is Lucky’s version of tapioca and he is in heaven.

HOWEVER, the canned food gives him the WORST gas on the planet. As in, it makes my eyes water. I’ve never quite smelled anything like it. If you’ve read the children’s book, Walter the Farting Dog, you can expect the sequel, Lucky the Gaseous Cocker. His butthole is deadly. Maybe this is the same effect tapioca has on grandpa.

If I seem a bit more off my rocker than usual it is because I have been shut in the house all week with a foot of snow and a post-surgical child. It will make you a bit batty.

I will leave you with this holiday dessert selection: Slutty Brownies. I have not made them, but I am told they are “oh so easy and quite naughty,” just like your average slut. Seriously, anything made with Oreos, brownies and chocolate chip cookie dough has got to be sinful, just like your average slut.

If you try them, let me know. Then I can call you a slut.

By the way, I tried the Melted Snowman Cookies. Guess which one is mine?

You are so smart.

Have you done any holiday baking?

How’s your dog’s gas on a scale from 1-10, 10 being the worst?

How have your holiday workouts been? Are you getting them all in?

SUAR

Outwit, Outlast, Outplay

2011-12-21T17:20:00.001-08:00

I won’t go into details, but to suffice it to say the shart is alive and well in Colorado! How’s that for elusive? That’s all I’m telling you. I like to be mysterious.

Today I went against my grain and ran on the treadmill. I simply could not take another day of navigating around the ice outside and nearly breaking a hip or freezing off a tit. Plus, I’m a pussy in the cold and I’m not afraid to admit it. I run a ton in freezing temps, but some days I want to be warm. Sorry, I just do. There will be plenty more chances to don the layers, run a few miles, shoot icy snot rockets onto the asphalt and spend the rest of the day trying to get warm by the poor man’s fireplace: the heating vent.

I find the treadmill boring, so I like to play games. I have little secret competitions with people around me. I know it’s childish, but it keeps me engaged. I like to outlast and outwit them all (Survivor reference). This is not hard to do when most people get on the ‘mill, run for 15 minutes like a bat out of hell, almost throw up and get off. I was successful and outplayed each and every one. Jeff Probst would have been proud.

Today I noticed once again the cell phone mania at the gym. People on the elliptical on phones, people everywhere on phones. I don’t have a problem with cell phones. In fact I have one with me usually in the treadmill holder thingee in case one of my children calls and is bleeding or choking or projective vomiting. But, something I do not do, and have never done, is talk on the phone while I’m working out. There are some things that are sacred, plus I can’t usually speak when I’m working out because I’m too busy breathing heavily (TWSS).

Here is where I hate seeing people talk on cell phones:

At the gym while working out
While having sex
While getting a massage
At table while eating with other people. Hello! There are live people to talk to right beside you!
In restaurants. Period.
While in the bathroom stall
At a funeral
In line for anything, especially when it’s their turn to order
At the movies
While under water

My favorite cell phone moments are when you are on a plane and it lands. People are grappling for their phones and everywhere you hear, “HI! We just landed!” I’ve been guilty of that one as well. What the hell did I do for those 30 years before I had a damn cell phone?

How do you survive treadmill boredom?

Any places you would not use your cell phone or get annoyed when people use theirs?

SUAR

Yes, I did watch Survivor. Yes I am a huge Ozzie fan. No I don’t think Sophie should have won.

Sports Bras vs. Speedos

2011-12-21T07:10:00.001-08:00

Check out this graphic posted on Running MP3. The information comes from the 2011 National Runners Survey and Running USA. Aside from the male/female component, it’s fun to see where you fit along the averages.

You could also call this graphic “thongs vs. jock straps,” or something like that if you wanted to spice it up.

There are no big shockers here. What’s missing? How many runners shop at Whole Foods/REI and make in excess of $1 million per year.

Anything surprising to you? I was surprised only 13.8% of women began running for weight reasons. I thought it would have been higher than that. I was also surprised the average person does about 8 races/events per year. That’s HIGH unless you’re obsessed like most of us.

Do you fit in with the averages? For the most part although I’ve only been running for 3 years and my favorite distance is the marathon.

What’s your favorite race distance?

SUAR

Job of the Year: Bed Pan Changer

2011-12-20T18:00:00.001-08:00

Thanks for all of the well wishes. Sam’s surgery went off without a hitch. He even let me come into the O.R. with him and hold his hand while he fell asleep. I kissed him and told him I loved him as many times as I could. 14 year old boys LOVE it when their moms do that.

I have to say, I hate everything about an O.R. It freaks me out. Bright lights, cold, shiny cutting utensils. But, this is why I write a blog and am not a doctor. That and the fact I am not smart enough to be a doctor. Maybe a candy striper is more up my alley. Or, bed pan changer.

Apparently I should be going in for botox of the forehead

When we were in recovery, Sam was coming out of the anesthesia and still hooked up to all the beeping stuff. He asked what would happen if he ripped it all off to make the machine stopped and played dead. I told him that’s not funny. They would call a “Code Blue” and freak out. He seemed very impressed that I knew what code blue was and asked if I watch a lot of hospital shows. Why, yes, I used to be a huge ER fan. “To the O.R. stat! GSW!”

Moving on. Thanks to those who entered the GU Roctane Endurance contest. You have no idea how much I appreciate your feedback, compliments and support. It wasn’t easy, but I chose Julie at ROJ Running as my “Reader of the Year.” Julie is someone who has been reading for over two years. She’s a dedicated blogger and runner. Her determination and kind hearted spirit really come through. I think she “gets” what I try to convey in my blog:

“I read your blog because I feel like you're the woman I'm going to become in the future. I started reading you somewhere in June/July of 2009, just after starting my own blog. I was drawn to your humor, sincerity and the fact that you work in social services. At the time as a newer runner I liked having someone I felt I could relate to and I also liked pretending I could be you in 10-ish years.
My earliest memory of you was when you won the trip for Hood to Coast. I also recall writing a poem about your toenail and "winning" although I am glad you didn't send me the actual nail! Ha! You've worked hard for all your successes and that's why I enjoy continuing to read you. No matter how "popular" you become you don't seem out of touch.
Oh and on a final note, I admire how despite being injured at times you keep up with you posts, encouraging positive outlooks and commitment to recovery, instead of simply going on hiatus.”

Thanks, Julie, for the support. Drop me an email at beth@shutupandrun.com and I’ll tell you how to claim your prize.

How about you? Do you like medical dramas– Grey’s, House, etc.? These days I’ve traded in hospital drama for Real Housewife drama.

If you weren’t in the job you were now, what would you rather be doing? Not sure. Freelance writer. Trapeze artist. Candy striper. Who knows?

Ever try botox or would you? Never. Undecided on whether I’d ever give it a shot.

SUAR

My Boy

2011-12-20T06:15:00.001-08:00

My oldest, Mr. Sam, is having surgery today. It is nothing serious, just an outpatient procedure, but he will be under general anesthesia. Surgery is surgery and when it happens to a loved one, especially a child of yours, it’s unsettling.

In other words, Sam could care less, but I am a bit on edge. I told him he could ask the doctors any questions he wanted. He said he just wants to ask the anesthesiologist what he/she makes per year. He would also like to tell the doctor to not fall asleep during the procedure.

Fair enough.

“Do not anticipate trouble or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.” ~Benjamin Franklin

Off to the hospital in Denver. I will keep my thoughts and my son in the sunlight.

SUAR

2012: The Year of the Trapeze?

2011-12-19T10:43:00.001-08:00

It’s that time of the year when I drive myself crazy re-evaluating my life. I’m not a huge resolution person. I do, however, usually have one or two that I don’t follow through on (drink less wine, floss more, meditate, keep my closet neat, figure out what I want to be when I grow up).

Yes I do wear my down coat in the house, especially when I’m pondering things. It helps me think. If you look closely, you can see my nose is running.

One area that I do follow through on is training. It seems I have no lack of motivation in that part of my life. Right now I’m focused on figuring out my race schedule for next year. I do not yet know what it will include. A run here , a triathlon there. I’ve always wanted to learn to swing on a trapeze, so I may do that too. I’m not kidding. I even found a place in Denver where you can learn to do it.

January through April 2011, I was recovering from a hip stress fracture, then the race fun resumed. Here’s what last year looked like:

April 2011 - Boston Marathon
May 2011- Bolder Boulder 10K
June 2011 - City of Longmont Sprint Triathlon
August 2011 - Boulder Stroke 'n Stride 5K
August 2011 - Irongirl Boulder
August 2011- Ironman 70.3 Boulder
August 2011 - Georgetown to Idaho Springs Half Marathon
October 1, 2011 - Skirt Chaser 5K – Denver
October 9, 2011 - Rock 'n Roll Denver Half Marathon
December 4, 2011 - Rock 'n Roll Las Vegas Half Marathon

I am only picking goals I am extremely excited about. No cop-outs or “shoulds.” I’m liking the idea of a trail marathon and maybe, just maybe, an ultra marathon later in the summer. I will definitely add in some triathlons, for sure the Longmont Sprint Tri, the Boulder Irongirl Tri and an Olympic distance race.

I’m very very very still on the fence about an Ironman in 2012. Don’t get me wrong. I know myself and I have no doubt I could complete the race (see how humble I am?). I am torn about the time commitment to the training. I do not want to over-commit myself and I don’t want to drastically take away from my family life and the quality of my work. If I do an IM, it will be Arizona in November. I know it’s sold out, but I’ve got connections, baby!

What are your race goals for 2012?

Do you make New Year’s resolutions? Why or why not?

SUAR

Zipfizz Review and Giveaway

2011-12-18T13:01:00.001-08:00

On tap for me today was a six mile early morning run. It was quite pleasant and seasonably warm with temps at about 24*. People always comment that I wear capris when it’s so cold. Weird, but my legs and feet never get cold.

I did almost fall on my ass several times on the hard packed snow and ice, but I skillfully slid around without going down. All I want for Christmas is my two hips not broken. I already have my two front teeth even if they are crowns. If I never told you about my accident when I was twelve that knocked out several teeth, I promise I will some time. I know twelve is a little young to get into a bar brawl, but I was an early bloomer.

I will not talk about poop in this post. I will not talk about poop in this post. Word on the street is that poop talk is “getting old.” How does that subject get old? I mean, you will poop for your entire life, so as far as I am concerned, it’s not old until you die and don’t/can’t do it anymore. As for those who are too embarrassed or grossed out to talk or read about it, I don’t know what to tell you. There are lots of poop-free blogs out there. I cannot, however, help you avoid Imodium and Maalox commercials on TV. Or stop your body from producing it’s own waste. And, for the record – I have plenty of poop free posts, so just pick and choose.

Before I ran I drank some Zipfizz energy drink. I was sent a sample pack of Zipfizz to try out.

This one is pink lemonade flavor:

Zipfizz’s claim to fame is that it “is the only healthy energy drink-mix powder in a tube.” I’m not sure why we need drink powder in a tube, but okay, I’ll roll with it. Zipfizz is said to “deliver an advanced formula that provides a significant amount of vitamins, fewer calories, lower carbohydrates and superior taste!”

Nutritional Info:

Zipfizz comes in five flavors: Berry, Citrus, Grape, Orange Soda, and Pink Lemonade. There is also a featured flavor: creamsicle. Zipfizz has zero grams of sugar and is sweetened with Xylitol and Sucralose. Xylitol is a naturally occurring, low-calorie sugar substitute found in berries, fruits and birch bark. It has 100 mgs of caffeine from natural sources of green tea and Guarana (a plant in the maple family).

The cost is $29.99 for 30 tubes at Costco, plus shipping. This averages about $1.00 per tube. If you buy from the Zipfizz website, it is more expensive.

Review:

Taste: The first flavor I tasted was orange and I did not care for it at all. It was too sweet and tasted very artificial. I did, however, really like the pink lemonade flavor. I also tried the creamsicle flavor which tasted exactly like a liquid orange creamsicle ice cream bar. Yum. Zipfizz is slightly effervescent, a big bonus. I really love some bubbly in my drinks. Too bad champagne is not a sport’s drink.

Nutritional Aspects: Zipfizz labels their drink a “healthy” because it has no fat or sugar and is high in vitamins and electrolytes. It is especially high in Vitamin B12, which is supposed to give you energy. I always thought that your body did not need much B12 to get the benefits, and that the excess was just peed out. It seems that 41,667% of one vitamin is excessive. Recommended daily intake is 2.4 mcg. Zipfizz has 2,500 mcg. I get annoyed with companies packing drinks and food full of vitamins and nutrients that are in much higher amounts than our bodies need or can sometimes even handle. Just a personal pet peeve. While there is some good stuff in this drink, these are nutrients that, IMHO, can easily be obtained by eating a balanced diet and/ or taking a daily supplement.

Cost: Although $1.00 per serving might seem high, the price is comparable, if not cheaper, to buying a 20 oz bottle of Gatorade or another sport’s drink. Additionally, it has lots more stuff in it and does not have the added sugar.

Bottom Line: An affordable sport’s/energy drink with a decent taste (depending on the flavor). The tube is small and makes it convenient to bring it on the go. Zipfizz can be purchased at many retailers including Costco, REI and Target, so it is readily available.

Giveaway:

Want to try a sample pack of Zipfizz in a cool water bottle (a $14.99 value)? Zipfizz has offered this prize pack to two winners!

To enter (comment for each):

Tell me what your favorite sports or energy drink is and why you want to try Zipfizz
Blog, twat or FB about this giveaway

Giveaway ends December 23. Winners will be chosen at Random.org.

SUAR

Fine Print: Zipfizz provided me with the samples and water bottles as well as the giveaway items at no charge in exchange for my unbiased review of their product.

The Decision

2011-12-17T07:47:00.001-08:00

You all need to move in with my to be my fashion consultants. Who knew hose were taboo and only for 90 year olds playing bingo and eating Jell-O? I also ditched the shoes for good. I should have been arrested for even thinking about wearing them. The thing is, I have never had much of a fashion sense. For some people, this is second nature. For me, not so much.

So – most of you chose option #2 for me to wear to the party. That was actually my choice too. But, when it came down to it I was worried it wasn’t fancy enough. The actual party was at a pretty swanky spot. So, I went with option #1, no hose and cute strappy wedges. You would have been proud.

Of course I froze my ass off all night riding in the short bus, which could only go 45 mph and had no heat. I never rode the short bus in school, so now was my chance. I felt like I was part of the Partridge Family:

The short bus was so not-fancy I could have easily wore a flannel shirt and my corduroys, but once we got to the party, the dress was the right choice. There was some neat writing inside the bus on the ceiling.

I kept looking for “For a good time call, SUAR” but never found it. Look carefully and you can find a phallic symbol I drew. Just kidding, I didn’t draw it but it sounds like something I might do.

Any Christmas parties for you this weekend?

SUAR

Outfit Dilemma–Help NOW!

2011-12-16T13:13:00.001-08:00

Let’s deviate big time from the norm on this blog. Those possessing male genitalia may be rolling their eyes, but I’d actually like your opinions too.

We’ve got Ken’s office party tonight. I have never met any of these people. As you know I can be slightly outrageous and crude and I do not want to get him fired. Essentially, I want to make a decent first impression and not look like a slut. Keep in mind, the party starts at a local brewery (score) then we are taken by brewery-provided-bus to a fancy restaurant near Boulder, then back to brewery. I am told to dress “fancy.” Ken will be in a suit and tie.

I am really pushing it to the wire here, but I have two outfit options, so let’s have a vote. Do not pay attention to hair and makeup. There is none. I haven’t even showered yet. Still have to go for a run and shave my pits: SICK!! That’s what happens in the winter.

But first of all, one of my pet peeves, the things I hate THE MOST is when I get home and find this piece of locked plastic shit on my clothes. They should pay me for my time to come back to the store to have it removed. Or I should buy one of those removers for my home, then I could shop lift a lot.

Option #1:

Dress: Forever 21 ($13.70! Bargain of the week)
Necklace: Kohls
Shoes: No clue
Hose: Hanes from Kohls

Option: #2:

Skirt: Forever 21, faux leather (fleather or pleather or whatever)
Shirt: Kohls
Necklace: Kohls
Hose: Hanes fromKohls
Shoes: No clue

Which one shall it be?

Option #1
Option #2
Option #3: None of the above. You should stay home, get in your sweats and not embarrass anyone.

SUAR

Runners Are Whiners

2011-12-15T14:13:00.001-08:00

Today I found out that as a marathoner, I am a whiner and a rich snob who hates Las Vegas and only shops at Whole Foods. So are you. Well, at least that’s how Patrick Coolican, author of an article in the Las Vegas Weekly yesterday, pegs all of us runners. Talk about stereotypes and judgments!

Mr. Coolican starts off the article describing the snafu that was the Las Vegas Rock and Roll Marathon. He then goes on to say:

“Put that aside for a moment and consider the people who run marathons and how they might be the kind of people who enjoy a fine whine.
I used to live in Seattle, so I know them. They went to Stanford or USC and work at technology or consulting firms or have already made so much money that they’re stay-at-home dads or moms or started their own nonprofit. They shop at Whole Foods but eat only 1,200 calories a day. They voted for President Obama and felt so darned good about it. They consider the twice-annual sale at REI a religious event. They are the modern Organization Man and so can’t understand why the marathon didn’t go off with the efficiency of their second child’s midwifed home birth. They are the anti-Las Vegas. So, let’s be skeptical of their complaints.”

Here’s what I have to say to Mr. Coolican:

I love Las Vegas. I go there at least twice a year and give a great deal of money to your fine city. For this race alone I spent $165 to register and hundreds of additional dollars on hotels, food and gambling to boost your economy. You are welcome.
I came to Vegas to have a good time and to run a race. The race was great. The 5 hour wait to get back to my hotel and the 36 hours of nausea after the race was not.
I eat at least 2,000 calories a day, more if there are Christmas cookies around.
I don’t shop at Whole Foods because I can’t afford it and I like my chicken with hormones and antibiotics in it.
Doesn’t REI stand for Religious Event Inc?
I didn't have a home birth or a midwife. I had a hospital birth with an OB and a nurse who wiped my ass.
I don't have my own non-profit. Yet. When I do it will be to fundraise for runners who need counseling because their water did not stay cold enough during their run and their shoes came untied too often. We really are a weak and whiney bunch. That is why we run 26.2 miles for fun. Have you ever done that Mr. Coolican?

This is me whining. As a runner, this is how I look 99.8% of the time

Mr. Coolican shrugs off his article stating he was only trying to “provoke and have a little fun.” Yeah, yeah, supposed to be a joke and all that. But when you’re dealing with many people who ended up in ERs and had their weekends spoiled due to illness, not so funny.

I still think he comes across as a self righteous douche bag, but that’s just me.

What do you think? Are runners an entitled, elitist bunch or was he way off base?

What would you say to Mr. Coolican?

SUAR

PS: When I first looked at the article, the title was, "Our marathon was the source of much complaining but how much of it was justified," and now it's "Preliminary testing does not point to water.” Interesting that he went back and changed it 24 hours later!

Ms. Lipstick

2011-12-14T11:51:00.001-08:00

I know it is the holiday season. I know people are stressed. This is ironic because this is supposed to be the season of goodwill and giving, but so much for that, right? On Monday alone I had two encounters with rudeness. I don’t let stuff get me down too much – I mean, who has that time to wallow, but when it’s blatant I notice it. Plus, I’m on the rag so…’nuf said.

Rudeness incident #1: I was at a small town appliance shop wanting to give my money to the locals versus the big box bandits. I’m pretty sure at this particular store you have to be over 70 years old to have a job. I was working with Bob, trying to sort out the specifics of converting a wood burning fireplace into gas. I love gas. Bob was the best. A grandfatherly type who made me feel like I was about five years old. Sweet, thorough, taking his time.

Enter into the store a flashy older woman with bright lipstick outside of the lines seeping into the cracks around her lips. She asks Bob for a part for her ice maker. We got to small talking about ice and how much we love it. Because what else do you talk about in an appliance store? It was fascinating. I learned that when she went to Mexico the only Spanish she learned was how to say “More ice please.”

While she was paying for her part, she got a call on her cell phone, which she chose to take despite being in the middle of a transaction with Bob. She continued this cell phone conversation at a decibel that carried through the entire appliance store. Bob and I were trying to work numbers and Ms. Lipstick was over there yelling, “I KNOW!! IN NEED MY ICE MAKER FIXED!! I HAVE TO HAVE MY ICE! YES, LET’S MEET FOR LUNCH. THEY HAVE REALLY GOOD PASTA! DID I TELL YOU I LIKE ICE??”

Bob was giving her the stink eye and shaking his head at me. “She should take it outside,” he mumbled in that gentle way only Bob could pull off.

Rudeness Incident #2: I went to the coffee shop. There was a visible line inside. As I approached the door, a man was approaching at the same time. In my little world, it is customary for the man to open the door (he got there first) and hold it open for the woman, even if it means that he will get in line behind her. Nope. He barreled on in, barely reaching back to grab the door before it hit me.

Here's the thing. I know neither of these people have ill intentions or are bad people. They are just in their own little worlds, self absorbed, lacking awareness about common courtesy. Yes, I have been known to be in my own little world as well. For example, on Tuesday I got into my car which was parked in the garage, then opened the garage door with the remote, then backed out of the garage before the door was up. CLUELESS. I damaged both my car and the door. BLOND MOMENT. But, I was not rude to anyone in the process.

Can’t we all just have some awareness about how we move through the world? Can’t we take that extra moment to quiet our cell phones or hold open doors or wave someone into our lane when they’re trying to merge? It is simple human to human common courtesy. I have come to the conclusion that people think they can be rude because you are anonymous to them and they will never see you again. In my book, that should be irrelevant.

When people lack awareness in these areas, it makes me even more determined to be make an effort to hold that door, to say thank you or to give a smile to a stranger. I know I have had my clueless moments as well. I try to make up for them as best as I can.

Have you had any recent experiences with rudeness? How did you handle it?

SUAR

Some GU for U?

2011-12-13T13:47:00.001-08:00

Why, in the name of time-wasters, do you read my blog?

Is it because I am stylish?

Or, because I run with famous people and never stop talking about it (I still can’t stop talking about that vein in his arm)?

Maybe it’s my love for beer and a good baseball game (that man beside me is not my sugar daddy):

Or, how cute I am at age 5 with my long second toe aka Morton’s toe (by the way, I still have that book, but not the snazzy velour couch):

I bet the real reason is that I can run and give the photographer the finger at the same time.

No, wait. It has to be because I give you good ideas about where to go in case of emergencies while you are running. Nature’s porta potty! And, yes I did!!

Whatever the reason you visit SUAR, if you’ve been a reader for a while I want to hear from you.

GU is offering up a large tub of their newest sport’s drink, GU Roctane Ultra Endurance to my “reader of the year.” Their idea, not mine!! This is assuming I have any readers who have been around for the year or any readers who care enough about this blog to consider themselves a fan.

Whatever the case, if you want a tub of this stuff that is not yet available to the public, let me know. I haven’t even tried it yet and will only maybe get some after one of you has tried it. You will be asked to test the product and to write a review of it on your blog, if you’d like. If you don’t have a blog, maybe I can post your review here. You’ll also get a GU sample pack for your troubles. Sound good?

A bit more about the product:

“Light tasting, carbohydrate-dense Roctane Ultra Endurance Energy Drink provides athletes easily available energy with the superior rehydration combination of sodium and potassium. Taurine, Caffeine, and the proven Roctane Amino Acid Blend provide extra energy, reduce muscle damage and maintain mental focus, while Beta-Alanine augments muscle buffering capacity and performance to help athletes meet their goals.”

To enter:

Simply leave a creative comment about why you read and why you deserve to win. I am not looking for this to be a “feed SUAR’s ego” fest. I sincerely want to know what brings you back here. I wish I could enter, but I don’t even like this blog.

Contest ends December 18.

Good luck!

SUAR

Ghetto

2011-12-12T07:23:00.001-08:00

First I want to thank you for all of your heartfelt comments on my last post. I can always count on this blogging community to come through with support, insights and kindness.

Ken and I headed out the door this weekend to run in 20 degree temps. My perfect running weather involves calm winds (or a tail wind that miraculously changes direction to be at your back the whole way), sunshine and low 50 degree temps. We were only 30 degrees colder than my ideal. This gives me the right to complain and shiver and cuss. I did this for the first half of the run until I warmed up. If you want to run with me and be on the receiving end of this spew, let me know. Sometimes I even pee myself just to stay warm.

As we headed out Sam asked what I was wearing. He said it in such a way that made me think he was judging me. How dare he. He then asked if I would be sporting this very outfit when I went to run errands later. He acted as if I don't do this everyday. I told him, why yes I would be wearing this ghetto outfit all day. I would especially be wearing it when I came into his 8th grade classroom to do the Macarena for his friends.

Since I work from home it is commonplace not workout then stay in my clothes well into the afternoon. Ken is working now so I try to shower and change before he gets home to make it look like I believe in hygiene. I also clear the dishes out of the sink and so some other stuff. I know some of you do this too. I KNOW IT.

Later, my mom, Joie and I made Christmas cookies. I don’t mean we rolled out some dough and used cookie cutters and icing while drinking wine. I mean we got down to some serious business. We made 8 kinds including Peanut Butter Blossoms, Mexican Wedding Cookies, Cocoa Balls, Cranberry/Orange, Spritz, Pecan Lace, , Peanut Butter Cups, and some other chocolate bar cookie my mom made from the Joy of Cooking.

Yes, we just made one of each.

Growing up we always had the cocoa balls and the spritz cookies, so they are my favorites. We also used to make gingerbread men and decorate them to hang on the tree. We also strung popcorn and cranberries with a needle and thread for the tree. My mom was that mom who went above and beyond. Me, not so much.

Funny thing about me, I don’t even like cookies that much. Weird, I know. I’m more of a cake/donut kind of girl. I do love the tradition of baking them, though, and watching the kids scarf them up.

The best news of the weekend? I got the heat in my car fixed. You have no idea what this means to me. I figured it would costs hundreds, but it was $60. $60 has brought me pure happiness.

What’s your favorite running temp?

How long do you stay in your clothes after a workout?

What’s your favorite holiday cookie to make? Feel free to share recipes!

SUAR

A Goodbye

2011-12-11T06:44:00.001-08:00

Our hearts have been heavy around here this weekend even as we rush about decorating the tree and checking things off our our lists.

The daughter of a friend in our community died on Friday. She had tirelessly and fiercely fought cancer for the past 3 ½ years. Her battle began when she was had just turned 13. I remember hearing about the diagnosis, in disbelief, back in 2008. What had started as visit to the doctor for a back ache and flu like symptoms had become a call from the oncologist, and so the journey began. As to be expected, there were many ups and downs along the way. At this time last year, she was doing quite well and our community sighed in relief.

As is the case with life in general, and cancer specifically, there are no guarantees. Things turn on a dime.

The loss of a child. It has shaken me to the core. There is no sense to be made, especially when it comes to suffering. Emma has taken this especially hard, trying to sort out in her ten your old mind how and why this could happen. She hopes she was not afraid. She wonders what her final moments were like. I assure her that her family was there, keeping her comfortable at home, loving her. We have had long discussions about life and cherishing every moment of it. Emma’s 70 pound body has wanted to curl up in my lap a lot this weekend, and I am all for it.

Today I wish more than anything that free of pain and anxiety, she finally rests. I wish for her family healing, comfort and peace in the long and painful days to come. I don’t know what else to wish for.

What a reminder to hold it all close. Our friends, our family members, our pets. To not forget to say what needs to be said, to extend that extra bit of kindness. To forgive. To keep our priorities in place. We will all be stricken by loss and grief at some time. It is unavoidable. We rally around those who are suffering and they do the same for us when we cannot get up. It’s all we can do – love one another and be loved.

Rest in Peace, Delaney.

Gratitude Attitude

2011-12-09T16:08:00.001-08:00

Things I am grateful for today:

That wine was invented
That I bought drinks for the car behind me at Starbucks and they bought drinks for the car behind them.
That my water faucet is not connected to a fire hydrant in Vegas
That the overdue fine at the library is only five cents a day. I am an overdue-er big time.
That tomorrow I am getting the heat in my car fixed
That hot baths were invented and that I just bought some new Calgon
That Lucky licks himself so much because one day he will not be here and I will actually miss the licking because I will miss him
That I sleep and wake up next to my favorite person
That I talk to my dad and/or mom almost everyday and see my parents as often as I do
That COSI 101 plays continuous Christmas music
That the first sound I heard this morning was Sam yelling, “TGIF! TGIF!” just like Katy Perry.
That Ken has a job and we have an office party to go to. I love office parties.
That tomorrow I will run.
That Emma hugged me this afternoon and wouldn’t let go and said, “I am just so thankful.”

Happy Friday. What are you grateful for today? Give me two.

SUAR

Must Be Something in the Water

2011-12-08T15:56:00.001-08:00

I know I said I was done talking VEGAS. Enough already. But new info keeps emerging, and I think it needs to be acknowledged. If you got sick, please fill out this survey from the Southern Nevada Health District found HERE under “Hot Topics.” They are trying to find the common denominator in this whole thing.

There was an article in the Las Vegas Review Journal today about it. More and more people are pointing the finger at (and giving the finger to) the water pumped from fire hydrants at the aid stations as the reason why so many people got sick. I remember running by and seeing the hose up to the hydrant, but at 8 miles, it didn’t connect in my mind. Apparently using fire hydrant water is very common in races.

An excerpt from the article:

“The water tasted metallic and stale, but runner Charlene Ragsdale needed to replenish her fluids if she were to finish Sunday's half-marathon at the Rock 'n' Roll Las Vegas Marathon. Nerves twisted up her stomach, at least, that's what she thought. Suddenly, it wasn't just the taste that didn't seem right, it was the way her body was reacting once she was done drinking.
Soon, the 50-year-old Las Vegan was doubled over from stomach cramps "worse than childbirth." Violent vomiting and explosive diarrhea almost kept her from crossing the finish line. As Ragsdale reached another water station, she saw water being pumped from a nearby fire hydrant with white hoses into a plastic lined garbage can. Event volunteers wearing plastic gloves would dip cups into the cans and pass them off to runners. It didn't look filtered or flushed, and it didn't look safe, she said.
Runners all around her slowed their pace as they, too, struggled and appeared to be in pain. People began throwing up all around her, she said.”

Now I do not feel so crazy. I could not physically eat for almost 24 hours following the race. I had an upset stomach and was queasy. I chalked it up to improper recovery and being cold. Turns out, it might have been something more.

I am not sure we will ever know if the water was the cause or not, but it certainly is a concern. Many times I have seen trash cans at races being filled with water from a hose. I always thought that water from such a source was not potable.

You may think, “So what. It’s over. Get over it.” True, it is over. Yet, if this is truly the reason for so many sick people and overflowing ERs in the Vegas area, then it is relevant for future races be them in Vegas or other spots. It’s inexcusable. When you sign up for a race you are putting yourself in the hands of the race directors, organizers and volunteers to keep you safe, at least with the elements that they can control (lighting, water, crowd management, etc). You should be able to expect that your basic needs will be met.

If you ran the race, I’d like your take. Do you think it was the water?

Have you ever gotten sick after a race and wondered if it was the water or food made available? This has never happened to me before. First time for everything!

I know many people are soured on the Rock and Roll races following this race. This is not the case for me. I don’t think this mishaps makes all Rock ‘n Rolls BAD. Yet, certainly, there are many, many lessons to be learned from this night race in Vegas. I’m curious to see the Competitor Group’s response, if there is one.

SUAR

Last Remnants of Vegas, I Promise

2011-12-07T13:35:00.001-08:00

I loved my finish line video from the race. I loved it because I leapt (literally) over the finish line at :10 seconds into the video and did not even notice the girl puking beside me! (Girl in white shirt at :07. Poor thing!). I’m glad me and my vomit phobia did not notice. It’s called emetophobia in case you were wondering. Check it out HERE (be sure you are looking at the finish line video because there are two).

Most of all, I liked this picture of me. I think it’s good form to run with your arms spread wide so you can take up as much room as possible on a crowded course.

If you by chance thought I was kidding or exaggerating about the crowds in Vegas, eat your heart out – these are post-race conditions in the hotel. Or maybe all these people are waiting to grab coffee at Starbucks (photos stolen from Skinny Runner’s blog).

I am glad there was not a fire. There would not have been any room to stop, drop and roll like I learned in third grade.

I will end with Biggest Loser impressions (spoiler alert):

I completely disagree with Antone. It is NOT possible to get a good workout in with your entire family at the gym.
I’m with Dolvett (of course). John is going to have a harsh adjustment to “real” life once this is all over and he’s back to work. Not sure why his wife is doing everything for him.
Courtney really held her own at the marathon. I was impressed.
Jess kept up. Those stomach cramps slowed her down, however. I’m pretty sure she had an accident, SUAR style.
What the hell with that wind storm? That would have been enough for me to get into a fetal position on the course.
If Bonnie didn’t drop out, she would have won the whole thing. Blubbering, crying.
I hate how Dr. H walked backwards while talking to the contestants at they ran. He should have run beside them. It was awkward.
I can’t believe they pulled that dude out of the marathon at mile 21. I know there were medical issues (bone on bone or whatever), but he’s made it this far, let him finish even if it means crawling.
OMG just shoot me if I have have to run that course through the mud caked desert. AWFUL!
Got to give it to Ramon. But, still don’t see him and Jess together. Just my two cents.
I think John’s going to win this whole thing.

Any impressions from TBL? Were you surprised Ramon won? Who will be picking confetti out of their hair?

Do you freak out in crowds or are you able to roll with it? I don’t like crowds, but I keep pretty calm unless I need the bathroom or someone is pushing me. Then I get feisty.

SUAR

Rock ‘n Roll Las Vegas 2011 Race Report

2011-12-06T10:14:00.001-08:00

To start, I want to thank Refuel with Chocolate Milk for sponsoring me for this race weekend. Not only did I enjoy meeting my team mates (Skinny Runner, Runners Rambles, Hungry Runner Girl, Run Like a Mother Ladies, Run Eat Repeat) but working with Refuel was so effortless. I’ve been chugging chocolate milk after workouts for recovery for the past year, so it was a perfect fit to work with Refuel and to endorse a product I believe in.

Did I tell you the race started at 5:30 pm? This means no early wake up calls or struggles to get out that first dump of the day. It does mean, however, that while you have all day to make sure you clean the pipes, you also have all day to obsess about the race.

I got my Team Refuel outfit all laid out:

Skirt: Mums Noir Running Skirt from Running Skirts
Shirt: Sweetest Tee Running Shirt from Skirt Sports
Arm Warmers: Pearl Izumi Thermal Lite Arm Warmers from REI.com
Capris: Reflective WorkItOut Knicker from Athleta

I really like the way Refuel did the outfits. I was asked to select what I wanted to wear and they put their logo on it. Win-win!

We then spent the rest of the day looking for pancakes. That’s what I wanted for a bigger meal before the race. There was only one option:

I was a bit scared I would regret this grand slam. I only ate the eggs and about half of the pancakes. I knew the sausage would haunt me the whole run, so I left those itty bitty wieners on the plate.

During breakfast the couple beside us asked why the hell I was taking pictures of my food. I told them that I was a famous food writer and they could have my autograph if they wanted. We got to talking. Five minutes into the conversation I had one of those TMI moments. You know me, I am not a prude, but I am selective about when I bring TMI to the conversation. You have to know when your audience can handle it. The dude I was talking to told me he had had gastric bypass a few months ago and he was still only having one bowel movement a week. Yes, he told me that. Maybe that is why I didn’t finish my food.

Finally time to go. Met up with Aron, Page and Marjorie to head to the start.

I got to corral #4 as it was getting dark. It was a madhouse, pretty typical for the start of a Rock and Roll race. I kind of liked the crowd because everyone’s body warmth and bad breath kept me toasty. I used my cheetah Walgreen’s blanket as a skirt until I had to give up my down coat.

Race started promptly and I was off and running by 5:32 p.m. I usually start slower, but I was so ready to get going I blasted out of the gate. I felt like I was flying for the first few miles, and I think there were all around 8 min/miles. I had very little congestion in my corral. It was not crowded, I had plenty of room. I later learned this was not the case for the later corrals, but mine was great. I had my music pumping and I was taking in the lights and energy along the Strip. It was invigorating to be running at night in a city that I had never seen from this perspective. You have to admit this is SUPER WAY AMAZING COOL:

I hit the 5K at 25 minutes. I cruised along, feeling great. No aches or pains. I silently praised Matt (Handled with Care Massage) who does my active release therapy. I think he saved me for this race. And, hopefully for many races to come.

I got to the 10K at 50 minutes. Almost halfway, I was still feeling good. I had a vanilla Power Bar gel (my favorite for both taste, texture and consistency. They are so runny, they go down easy). I saw a dude running in front of me with a huge load in his tights. I don’t me a “load” as in male prowess. I mean “load” as in EWWWW!!!

At about mile 8, as we headed back up the Strip, my insides started revolting a bit. This distracted me and I slowed. I looked everywhere for a porta potty and guess what? There were NONE. At least none that I could see. Even at the aid stations I could not find one. I clenched and hoped for the best. Then in full disclosure because that’s what I do, I crapped my pants just a tad. Dammit.

I hit the 10 mile around 1:22. I knew I was in the home stretch. I started to feel fatigued and realized that I was kind of under trained for this one. Due to injury, I’d only been doing 15-20 miles per week, with my longest run at 10 miles. I haven’t done speed work in ages. No duh I was fading.

I crossed the finish in 1:49:28.

Overall: 2,237/ 33,123 · Division: 93/3,600 · Gender: 584/21,051.

I was okay with that. I was still in the top 2% for my division and gender. Not my best showing and a few minutes off my PR of 1:46. But, I’ll take it.

Once I crossed the finish it was a cluster f%ck of people. I ran for 13 miles then, BAM, I was at a standstill with a million others. My stomach immediately started cramping. I pushed through, grabbed some water and my medal (which I’m glad I got because I heard they actually ran out of them for the runners who came in later. Are you KIDDING me??), skipped the food and made it to a porta potty. I was feeling pretty crappy and starting to get really cold. It was windy.

I found my team mates and Refuel gave me a big bottle of chocolate milk. I tried to get a few sips down. I started to really freeze and bid my team mates goodbye. Erika and I headed into Mandalay Bay for some warm tea and to find a cab. I knew the shuttles would be a nightmare.

(Runners Rambles, me, Hungry Runner Girl, Skinny Runner)

This is my mad, hard core face. I’ll take you down.

This is when the fun began.

We waited in the cab line for 90 minutes. I was FREEZING and not feeling well. I didn’t have any food, but don’t think I could have eaten anyway. I just wanted to get back to my hotel for a warm shower and my post-race ritual of putting my feet up, calming my stomach and getting warm. I hid out in some corner while Erika stood in line. We finally got to the front of the line. Lots of people were not doing well: shivering, sick. We saw several stretchers come into the lobby. I heard stories of people passing out. One guy approached us upset and sick saying he couldn’t find the shuttle and had no money. He was so ill and so cold he was almost incoherent. We invited him into our cab. We also invited in a mom and her daughter who were also not doing so hot.

I thought once we were in the cab, we’d be good to go. Nope. 20 minutes after getting in, we were still in the driveway of Mandalay Bay. Nothing was moving. The Strip was still closed. The meter read $15 and we’d barely gone a few feet. The guy we brought in was sick and I knew if he threw up I would have a panic attack (I have this vomit phobia thing). Erika and I decided to get out of the cab (my idea – not a good one), go back inside for a drink and try the cab line again after the Strip opened.

This is me in the bar. I am wrapped in several mylars I borrowed from people in the bar, freezing my ass off. My knees are actually pulled up into my chest, but you can’t really tell. Erika thought I looked legless. And, a bit peakid, sickly.

An hour later the cab line was twice as long. SHIT. People were much worse off by this point. We walked through the lobby to see a girl in a stretcher and another girl puking into a trash can. People were laying around everywhere. Total refugee zone.

We decided to go next door to the Four Seasons to see if things were any better. It was like walking into first class from coach. Serene, warm, calm. The guy handling the taxis told us we’d be second in line for a cab. He said, “Go sit down by the fire. I will come get you. Would you like some water?”

We waited for about an hour, until midnight. By this time I had been done racing for 4.5 hours. Then WE GOT A CAB and I don’t think I’ve ever been happier.

Back at the Venetian, we stopped for dinner. I tried to get down some soup, but couldn’t eat. I just felt so sick. I blame it on the poor conditions post race because I’ve never felt this bad this long after a race. We had plans of going out for a nice dinner and doing some gambling, but at 1:30 a.m. and an early flight to catch, all we could do was go to bed.

Here’s what sucks. I thought the race itself was a blast. I was already planning on coming back to run it again with Ken. But the post race situation was so crappy, I don’t know that I can revisit this one unless there are some big changes. I noticed the race took a huge hit on their Facebook page yesterday.

I still will end on a positive note. Race weekend was a blast. You can read about it HERE, HERE and HERE. I got to meet so many bloggers who I’d never met in person. I’ve decided that running bloggers are an exceptionally nice breed (I like to think it’s because we run and that makes us better people. Thereby proving that running makes everything better). I won $200. I spent time with good friends. I laughed so much I almost peed myself several times, just like the guy next to me on the plane. I learned about someone’s pooping habits in Denny’s. I got to run on the Strip at night in Vegas. And, I have a great story to tell my grandchildren about the time I was stranded after a race and almost died (it’s important to embellish).

Moral of the story: Stay at the Four Seasons.

SUAR

Not a Happy Ending

2011-12-05T08:45:00.001-08:00

I am getting ready to board my flight for Denver where it is 3 degrees. I cannot wait to get into my car with no heat.

I’ll have a full race report later, but for now….

Running on the Strip, by the lights of fantastic Vegas, was pretty spectacular
My race felt good, my body felt good. I could feel my lack of training do to injury. My longest run had been 10 miles and that’s about when I started getting fatigued.
Final finish time = 1:49, 3 minutes off my PR. This is better than I expected.
Everything was as close to perfect as could be until the end of the race. Let me start by saying, I love the Rock ‘n Roll series and I think the Competitor Group does an amazing job, overall. However, there were big problems in Vegas when the race ended. Being at night and chilly, the finishing runners got very cold very fast. There was complete mania at Mandalay Bay while 44,000 people tried to find their ways back to their hotels on the Strip, which was still closed. No one could find the shuttles. People were sick, passing out, shivering. Lots of stretchers, wheel chairs, people getting sick. The cab line was several hours long and once you got into a cab, you were at a standstill. Our tab was $15 before we even got out the driveway of the hotel. I finished the race at 7:20 p.m. We got back to the Venetian at 12:30 a.m. – cold, hungry, stinky. That part was not fun and was incredibly poorly planned. Hopefully others had a better experience than I did, but it didn’t appear that way. I felt that paying $165 for this race should entitle you to be able to have the services in place, post-race, to get you to where you need to go.

I’m functioning on 3 hours of sleep, which means I’m not functioning at all.

Ever had a nightmarish experience in a race due to poor planning by the powers that be?

Off for some coffee,

SUAR

Not a Spring Chicken

2011-12-04T10:27:00.001-08:00

Now it’s waiting time. 6.5 hours to go until race time. I woke up at 5:30 a.m. after a 1:00 a.m. bedtime. Definitely not enough sleep. I am not a spring chicken anymore. I am a winter sloth. Lack of sleep, exposure to endless amounts of cigarette smoke and dirty martinis make me look older than I usually look.

I woke up early worrying about my dog Lucky who is really sick. I took him to the vet because of his leg issue that I posted about earlier this week. They put him on some meds that made him very ill. Ken has spent the past two days cleaning up puke and other bodily fluid. I know he will be fine once his little system is flushed, but for now the poor old thing suffers.

This morning I’m doing a bunch of this:

The only good thing I can say about myself in this picture is that I have good posture.

I keep looking outside to see how windy it is.

It’s not that cold here in Vegas (50s) but the wind is wicked. I am going to cozy up to the other 1,000 people in my corral tonight in a way that is inappropriate and awkward. So, if you are in corral #4, consider yourself warned.

Moving backwards. Last night we headed to Mandalay Bay for the blogger meet up. Erika kept calling it a “mixer” and I had to remind her a “mixer” was something the Cleavers went to back in the sixties. The mixer actually was really fun. I finally got to meet a bunch of favorite bloggers in person.

You might recognize just a few faces: Jess, Page, Marjorie, Aron, Janae.

Jason and his wife, Karen, were there too. They skipped out early because Jason thinks you need to sleep and hydrate for a BQ attempt. Ridiculous.

Afterwards we played some blackjack and once again I walked away a winner. Just about $100, but I’ll take it. I’ve never been to Vegas around Christmas time. It’s actually really fun and festive. There are tons of balls and I like that

SUAR

Me and 43,999 Other Bodies

2011-12-03T17:38:00.001-08:00

Late last night as I was contemplating getting into my PJs and labeling myself as loser of the century for going to bed at 10pm while in Vegas, this girl kept pestering me to come on downstairs and lose some money. So I put my big girl undies on did it. I sat down to play some blackjack while EMZ watched and had the privilege of singing some Hall and Oats (Sarah Smile) with this gentleman.

I lost money quick and we went over to do some roulette. I was distracted, throwing chips here and there on random numbers, slugging down Coronas. Before I knew it I had won $200. EMZ put it upon herself to give me the famous finger as did her husband. But I didn't mind. I had my winnings. At least they both have nice middle finger form (MFF).

Loved my time with Ms. Emz. So fun to hang out with the tallest and nicest couple in Vegas this weekend.

This morning I spent some time with my chocolate milk friends filming some footage:

We then hit up the expo which was a freaking madhouse of healthy people. For a moment I turned into a middle aged male with man boobs.

My friend Erika and I had to recover from the the stress of packet pick ups and vendor booths by having a big fat spicy bloody mary. We then met Jason, his wife and his brother and sister in law for a tasty lunch. Sorry, I failed as a picture taker for both Jason and EMZ. Bad blogger points.

Erika and I knew that if we had any hope of going out tonight we needed to come back to the room for some chill time. To me, that meant putting my feet up and checking email, but to Erika it meant getting PJs on and climbing into bed.

That is a dangerous thing to do because there is a chance you will never get up again. But, then I did it too because I am a sucker for peer pressure.

I suppose you will have to check back later to see if we made it out of the room later or not.

I have to admit, the race tomorrow is freaking me out a bit. 44,000 runners is the population of Oro Valley, AZ (fun fact for you, go look it up). More than the massive size of this race is the fact that it is at 5:30 p.m. I find it tough to wait around all day to race. I just do. It’s kind of like waiting around all day to get on a flight, it’s hard to focus on anything else for the rest of the day. I will say, however, as a huge fan of VEGAS it will be an amazing thing to run on the Strip, in the dark, all roads closed. Just me an the road and 43,999 other people.

I tried to find famous people running Vegas besides me but I only know of Kate Gosselin and Andy Baldwin. Know anyone else?

Do you prefer the excitement and energy of big races or the intimacy and mellow nature of smaller ones? I think both have advantages

Are you DONE once your PJs are on for the night? Yes, always. I make a commitment once my comfy clothes are on that my day is DONE. Except for tonight.

SUAR

That’s One Way to Warm Your Seat

2011-12-02T21:07:00.001-08:00

I am a risk taker. I like to do things that scare me. So, I decided to fly to Vegas out of a different airport just for the hell of it. Well, in truth it was cheaper and closer. I don’t know if you have ever flown through Denver, but our airport is as big as the small county of Luxembourg. I don’t know what I expected from this smaller scale airport. I certainly did not expect it to be this:

The terminal:

The boarding area:

There was even a book exchange:

I had a seat towards the back and had to enter the plane off the tarmac through what I call the “butthole”

But the fun did not stop there. The plane was 99% cowboys going to a rodeo in Vegas and 1% skinny white runners like myself. In fact, a cowboy sitting next too me drank too many beers in the shack (terminal) and actually peed in his seat. I am not kidding.

It was a pretty day to fly, however, even if my row had piss in it. I looked down and saw my house. See it? It’s the one along the golf course which is to the left of the lake.

I had a vodka tonic on the plane because I am going to Vegas and the party starts now with piss cowboy in the seat beside me (who had a jack and coke, just in case he needed more liquids).

Coming into Vegas always makes me happy:

I made record time checking in and meeting up with Aron to walk over to the Wynn for a chocolate milk meet and greet with some favorite bloggers:

Skinny Runner

Hungry Runner Girl

Runners Rambles

Run Like a Mother gals Dimity and Sarah

It was a blast to hang with these girls. Janae is hands down the nicest girl you will meet. Sarah (Skinny Runner) is down to earth, funny, easy going. Dimity and Sarah are laid back, knowledgeable and freaking authors. Aron is all at once sweet and level headed and an amazing athlete.

Team Refuel did some Q&A with us about fueling, training, getting motivated, etc. We hung out in this most amazing Wynn suite drinking chocolate milk, eating fried shrimp and talking about running. What’s not to like? Then we all laid on the marble table because we could.

Check out this video we all made:

After I had a dirty martini the size of my head. I’m now sitting around at my gorgeous room at the Venetian waiting for my BFF Erika to arrive so we can really get this party started.

Life is good when you have a crapper that looks like this. I could do some serious damage in there (toilet behind door on the right):

There is nothing bad about any of this. I could have done without the guy pissing his seat, but that just added character to my day.

Ever had anybody do anything weird next to you on a plane?

SUAR

Racing on the Road

2011-12-01T17:05:00.001-08:00

I don’t travel a lot for races, mostly because 1) I’m cheap and, 2) Colorado is a RACE MECCA from April until October, so why go anywhere else?

Since I started running three years ago, I’ve only traveled for:

Rock ‘n Roll Phoenix Marathon 1/2009
Hood to Coast Relay 8/2009
Boston Marathon 4/2011

I’ve got to admit, travelling for races kind of stresses me out. There is too much opportunity to forget stuff. Plus, I like sleeping in my own bed the night before a race and using my own shitter. That’s just me. Control issues!

The other issue is (reference above) I am cheap, so I don't like to check a bag. This means I have to find a way to fit everything into a small carry on bag. I also need to prepare to fight for the overhead space on the plane, usually by spewing trash about there being a bomb in my bag and a gun in my purse. By far the worst thing about carry on bags is figuring out how to not bring more than 3 oz of any liquid. Pain in the ass! Especially because I like to carry a fifth of vodka and lots of Maalox.

I leave for Vegas in the morning. Did I tell you I was going? And, that I refuel with chocolate milk? Sorry if I repeat myself, but it’s the truth.

There are certain necessities that I cannot forget when traveling for a race. Anything else I can buy or steal.

Various cords and chargers:

New netbook (4 gig, 11.6” Acer):

Grape flavored scratch ‘n sniff shoes:

Favorite down coat:

That can be transformed to this (best invention ever):

Snacks/gels and throwaway blanket (that I secretly don’t want to throw away. $3.50 at Walgreens):

Outfit:

Other essentials not pictured: iPod, earplugs, slippers, phone, magazines, book, bathing suit, Xanax for flight, glasses, Motrin.

What can’t you live without when you travel?

Do you usually carry on or check bags?

How often do you travel way out of town for races?

See you in Vegas, baby!

SUAR

Gimpy But Lovable

2011-11-30T19:11:00.001-08:00

Apparently we have a big arctic storm coming tonight, but for now…amazing.

If you read this blog and I hope you do, you know I have a three-legged Cocker Spaniel, Lucky. We adopted him from the Humane Society almost nine years ago. He was untrained, unruly and gimpy and we never made efforts to change any of that. He was the dog no one wanted, but the dog I wanted most. Perfect is very over-rated anyway.

Lucky follows me everywhere and never lets me out of his sight. He licks himself incessantly. He is the most lovable, sweet hunk of fur and fluffy paws. It’s weird to think we love these creatures so much, but that they can't speak to us. We don’t have conversations with them. Well, I have conversations, but he just stares. I think that’s why the relationship works so well.

Lucky in his youthful days; about 6 years ago

Lucky lost an eye about a year and a half ago, adding to his special needs classification. The missing eye and missing leg are on opposite sides, so he is pretty well balanced.

Lucky’s other issue is that he has constant “lipstick” if you know what I mean. When we first got him, I took him to the vet because his little wiener would not go back in. I was worried. The vet told me not to worry, that I just needed to stop at Walgreens and get some KY jelly and gloves and put it back in. He showed me how. I thought it was weird. I thought he was weird. I never went back and I never did the KY thing.

I knew someday the three-legged thing would become more of an issue. Recently Lucky is falling a lot, struggling on stairs. Every night when I let him outside I have to go get him and carry him up the stairs. I fear that back leg is failing and if that one fails, I’m not sure what happens.

Emma suggested a prosthetic leg and Sam thought a scooter might be a good idea. I guess I could make a leg out of sticks and velcro or borrow a wheelbarrow and figure something out. Yet, I know in my heart of hearts he is just getting older (I think he’s about 14). I know it’s the cycle of life and I will have to let him go at some point. Hopefully not yet. We’ll see the vet tomorrow and go from there.

This getting older thing reminded me of a wonderful poem sent to me awhile ago. It reiterated that just because something or someone is ageing, does not mean we love it less, discard it, or look for the next best thing. This goes for pets, people, cars, houses, old slippers, you name it. We appreciate and respect the history. I tried my little heart out to find this poem/essay, but couldn’t. If you know what I’m talking about, let me know. I’d love to include it.

Yes, you say, he is “just” a dog. Amazing how pets become part of the family. They are ingrained in our routines and traditions – the same walk you take them on everyday, the food you buy, the way they sleep at your feet. Letting go is losing a dear friend and companion. Fortunately, I don’t have to let go…yet.

Have you lost a favorite pet and how did you cope with it? My two dogs were tragically poisoned when I was 16. One died right in front of our family in a fit of seizures. It was a huge and unspeakable loss. Over time, the pain lessened. And, over time, we got a new dog. But, the loss was always there.

SUAR

The Obese Police

2011-11-29T15:38:00.001-08:00

Yesterday an eight year old Ohio child was removed from his home and placed in foster care because of his weight. The boy weighs 218 pounds, nearly four times the weight of his “average sized” peers. The county cited “medical neglect” as the reason for removing the boy and indicated that many efforts had been made over the past year to encourage the mother to help her son lose weight. (See details HERE). The mother had apparently not followed through with court mandated services.

The mother (I think she is a single parent) is a substitute teacher and is educated. The family has health insurance. Lack of education or benefits should not have been obstacles as to why this child did not lose weight. The family’s lawyer emphasizes that the county over-stepped bounds by removing this child who “was not in imminent danger, was on his school’s honor roll and participated in school activities.”

Social services contends that the mom was not doing enough to help her child lose weight, thereby putting him at risk for life threatening diseases. Dr. David Ludwig, an obesity specialist at the Children's Hospital states, “Children with obesity-related conditions like diabetes, breathing difficulties, and liver problems could die by age 30 if no action is taken.”

I have been a social worker for the past 14 and have worked for social services. Fortunately, my job has never been to remove kids from their homes, but I’ve worked in the field of foster care for many years. There is a time and a place for foster care. Effective foster parents can provide a child with the stability they need to get out of crisis mode and to heal while their parents are doing what they need to do. It is unfortunately true, however, that a child is at risk for abuse (physical and sexual) while in a foster home, so this needs to be a consideration as well.

In this instance, I believe a significant risk in removing this child is the trauma associated with the separation from his mother. Yes, having a child who is four times the weight he should be is tragic and unconscionable. However, removing him from the home and placing him in foster care may double the damage. It is not the child’s fault. It is the mother’s fault. Yet, the child is the one being punished the most in this situation. Foster care is not fun. Foster care will not make him thin.

I read somewhere that the mom was court ordered to take him to Children’s Hospital for services and she didn’t. So, clearly, something had to be done. In a perfect SUAR world, the money that would be used to fund his foster care stay should have been spent on paying for a Bob Harper type to be planted in the home 24/7. This person would monitor meals/snacks, teach healthy cooking and would devise and supervise an exercise program. I doubt this sort of thing exists in the real world, but it should.

My hope is that this child will return home quickly to a mother who now “gets” the urgency of his medical condition - a mother who has been given the wake up call of her life. The child is only eight. His mother has done her son a great injustice. Mentally, physically, emotionally and socially he has already been scarred. Yet, it is not too late. There are many resources for this type of thing. For instance, Dolvett could whip him into shape!

Do you think children should be removed from their home due to obesity? To me, removal is not the answer. Let’s face it, we can’t go around removing kids for obesity any more than we can remove them for being exposed to second-hand smoke. Both are life threatening conditions and are, I believe, the fault of the parents. Parents need to be educated and held accountable, even if that involves strict intervention that is uncomfortable and inconvenient. Removing the kid is just punishing the child further. Just my two cents.

I bet that kid is home before the end of the week.

SUAR

Do Good

2011-11-28T15:41:00.001-08:00

’Tis supposed to be the season of good tidings and good will, but who has time for that? After all, you have to hang the lights before it gets too cold, Johnny needs a new 72” television for his room (even though he is 4), and you have to figure out gifts for all of your kids’ teachers (mug filled with hot chocolate mix anyone?).

Well, I have a story that reminds us that kindness is still the reason for the season.

I was in the drive thru at Starbucks this morning. I don't really like Starbucks coffee (can you say Star-burn?), but I drink it anyway. I got to the window, my arm hanging out, flashing my cash. The cashier told me the person in front of me had paid for my drink. {Dammit! Should have gone with the venti size instead of the tall}. I was really taken off guard. Good will from a total stranger who wanted nothing in return? Certainly he/she was waiting around the corner for a back rub (no happy endings) or, at the very least, an extra venti “thank you.”

Nope, no strings attached. In fact, the generous driver of that burgundy mini-van raced off into the distance and I couldn’t give him/her so much as a wave. This small gesture of kindness really did make my morning. It reminded me to get my head out of my ass and realize that one small act can have a very large impact. We never know how our actions affect others. We need to be mindful.

These days, we are often wary when a stranger does something nice. We suspect there is something wrong with them or that we might be in danger. The other night I was at Target. I was backing out of my parking spot when some guy gestured to me to roll down my window. RAPIST! I thought. This dude wants to abduct me right here on the spot. But, because I am a people pleaser and don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, I did roll down my window. The guy informed me that my rear tail light was out. That was it. No kidnapping, no gun pulling, no nothing.

On that note, here are a few ideas of things we can all do to extend that small gesture of good will (from HERE). Don’t mind my parenthetic additions. That’s just how I roll:

Write a note of appreciation to your mailman (but only when he brings packages)
Compliment a stranger sincerely (don’t be surprised if they look very afraid of you and make gestures to protect their children).
Look for something around you that can be fixed up, picked up, or attended i.e., put shopping carts up, pick up some trash laying around, pick up something that has fallen over
Give a lottery ticket to a stranger (but only if you’ve checked it and it’s not a winner)
Send handmade cards or a letter to someone you care for (use creepy cut out letters, ransom-style, from magazines to make it interesting).
Write a note to management or someone themself who has treated you nice while doing their job (waiter, clerk, sales person...etc.)
Cut coupons out and leave them at the grocer register for others (especially for maxi pads. Those things are pricey!)
Put a comment on someone's webpage that you really like...... let them know you enjoy it (you can do this right here, right now)
Start a conversation up with a co-worker that you don't know (unless they have a hairy back, then skip it)
Put change in a row of vending machines
Visit a nursing home. Spend time visiting with someone who doesn't get visitors (don’t focus on the smell of urine)
Put something you no longer need on Craig's list free spot for your area
Leave a book you have already finished somewhere for someone else to read
At post office leave some extra stamps at the stamp machine
Open the phone book, pick a name, and send them something (movie tickets, thank you card, you are appreciated card, book, etc.) anonymously
Take flowers to a hospital ward and give them to someone who hasn't had any visitors
Take some cake, chocolates, flowers etc. to the neighbors, or a senior citizen nearby
Send someone a small gift anonymously
Make a cd of your favorite songs and give to a friend
Invite someone who is alone over for dinner.
Send a thank you to the employees at a hospital, or anywhere else that a cheerful thank might add a smile
Feed a parking meter that has expired
Write a thank-you note to a person from your past who has made a difference in your life (I really LOVE this one)
Drop a few coins in an area where children play, where they can easily find them (and secretly sit and watch them fight over it)
Copy a favorite recipe and give it to someone
Buy a copy of your favorite book and donate it to your local library or hospital
Send a card to a friend or relative you haven't seen for some time. Include a photo of yourself and/or your family
Make a point of introducing yourself to someone you see all of the time but never say hello to
If you know someone who is having a hard time financially, pop a $5, $10 or $20 note in an envelope, disguise your writing or type the envelope, and post it to them
Offer to baby sit
Donate clothes to goodwill
Say “hello” to every runner you pass (I made that one up)

I don’t know if it will really happen, but I am going to try to do one of these things every.single.day until Christmas (starting tomorrow, of course). If I don’t do it I will make my kids do it. And, I’m going to try to tell you about it, if I can remember.

Do any good deeds lately or has anyone done something nice for you “just because”?

What’s one good deed you would add to the list?

Want to try the good-deed challenge with me? Feel free to add this button to your blog.

SUAR

Refuel Your Body

2011-11-27T12:56:00.001-08:00

Today’s run: 10 miles in 1:28 (8:48 avg)

I loved every stinking thing about today’s run from the 19 degree start temp to the coyote who crossed our paths to the gift I left in the dirt (at least I was kind enough to cover it with a tumbleweed). By far the best part of the 10 miles was how great I felt. Now that my body has less pain, I am able to run more effortlessly. This is a gift beyond words. You have no idea how happy it makes me. Or, maybe you do. It takes so long to come back from injury and it can be so debilitating mentally and physically. When you can finally run half way okay, it is reason to celebrate.

I think I owe my life to Matt at Handled with Care Massage Therapy. His active release work is doing the trick.

Out on the run: there goes Ken trying to ditch me, or maybe he’s just gunning for that porta potty at the bottom of the hill. (Yes, my phone camera sucks. But, 15 years ago I would have been carrying a huge Polaroid camera and that would have sucked worse).

See if you can pick out my coyote friend. Hint: he looked nothing like this:

I think turquoise is my color. It accentuates my large breasts.

This was my last longer run before the Rock ‘n Roll Vegas half marathon next weekend. I got my running gear in the mail a couple of days ago from the Team Refuel folks. It is seriously the coolest. I am going to do my best to not soil it. I love the “Refuel Your Body” logo.

A lot of people ask me what the big deal is about drinking chocolate milk. I’ll tell you why I like it so much. After I run, I never feel like eating. Chocolate milk is the quickest and easiest way for me to get the right amount of protein, carbs and calories for recovery right away post-run (8g protein, 24g carbs, 150 cals per 8 oz). It’s also got potassium, calcium and magnesium.

I don’t drink it after every workout. I usually drink it for workouts that are greater than one hour and are fairly rigorous. You don’t have to buy any particular brand of chocolate milk – I get the cheapest low-fat, one gallon jug from my local grocery store.

Here’s what the research says about chocolate milk:

“Low-fat chocolate milk contains high-quality protein to help repair and rebuild muscles after strenuous exercise. It’s also been shown to help athletes tone up – gain more lean muscle and lose fat – compared to drinking a carb-only drink.”

Did you run/race today?

If you have been injured and returned to running, have you been able to pick up where you left off in terms of speed and endurance? I am slowly getting there. Even though I raced a lot this summer, I never felt like my running was back to where I was pre-stress fracture.

SUAR

Reset Your Mindset

2011-11-26T11:52:00.001-08:00

Do you believe the things people tell you about yourself? Do you believe the things you tell you about yourself?

I got an email from a reader, Chelsie, a few days ago. She’d been through a tough time lately and had gained some weight. Feeling out of sorts and depressed, she decided to go for a run to work out some of the stressful kinks. She ran in the woods of Iowa, feeling on top of the world. Then, she rolled her ankle and fell.

Laying there with no phone and 2 miles from her car, she felt foolish and defeated. Her mind started playing back all the crap people had told her over the years, “"You're not a runner. You're not athletic. Why do you even try? You aren't good enough." She sat in the midst of all of the negativity for a couple of minutes, crying, wallowing. But, then a switch went off.

It started as a whisper, but became louder and louder. “I am good enough,” she told herself. For so long she’d been allowing all of the negative things people had told her about herself to enter into her head. She had started to believe the naysayers. She had become defeated and had stopped standing up for herself. But, on this day, in this moment of vulnerability, she was done. She had “reset her mindset.”

She ended the email by saying, “Life won't go according to our plans, but doing something good for yourself everyday, like running or yoga, makes it a lot easier to roll with the punches.”

I love this story (even if it doesn’t involve ONE bodily function) because it so perfectly illustrates the power we have over our thoughts. It lets us know that we can filter not only what others tell us about ourselves, but what we tell ourselves about ourselves.

I don’t think we’re born with self doubt, I think we learn it. Over time, we take in negative external messages from parents, peers, teachers, coaches, etc., and decide to believe them. We learn the ways of the world. We start to compare ourselves to others. We decide we don’t stack up. Before we know it, we’ve decided we’re not good enough.

Self doubt can crop up about anything and everything. I am not a fast enough runner, I’ll never get my PR. I am not an effective parent, my kids will be in therapy forever when they’re older (don’t know if you can avoid the therapy thing no matter how hard you try). I suck at my job, I’m not smart enough to get this stuff done.

The good news is, it doesn’t have to be that way. There are some steps you can take to nip self doubt in its ugly ass:

1. Admit it. Realize the self doubt is there. Most of us have some degree of self doubt. For some it is the smallest of whispers and doesn’t lead to inaction, depression or low self esteem. Others, however, operate out of self doubt and can be paralyzed by it.

2. Trace it. Try to figure out why it’s there. Does it rear its ugly head when you run with a friend who is faster than you or when you go to your mom’s playgroup? How about when you visit your parents? What triggers the strongest feelings of self doubt? When you are in those situations, be prepared to notice the self doubt and to move onto #3.

3. Tackle it. Don’t take self doubt sitting down. Set up strategies to minimize it.

Question it! Are the doubtful feelings true? Not likely. For example, if your Aunt Edna keeps telling you that you will never run a 5K because you are too out of shape and it will kill you, is this true? Not likely. Maybe she needs a lobotomy. Consider the source. Know that some people want to bring you down because they are jealous or they don’t feel great about themselves.
Be bold. Challenge the doubt. If you’ve always wanted to run a half marathon, but talked yourself out of it, take the first steps. Find a training program or a coach. Prove yourself wrong. This is the best way to kick self doubt to the curb.
Talk back. Self doubt thoughts creep into our brains on average 1,560 times a day. Okay, I just made that up, but the number is probably pretty large. Have a strategy in your head for when this happens. When I was a junior in high school my speech teacher always told me that before I got on stage I needed to tell myself, “You are the queen of the world.” I know it sounds goofy, but it worked. Sometimes building up your own confidence and getting behind yourself is the best thing you can do. Other good talk back techniques? “Screw you, negative thought. You are out of line and don’t know what the hell you are talking about. Of course I am good enough. Of course I can do this.”

If all else fails, there is always the Stuart Smalley inner voice to fall back on:

Do you struggle with self doubt? If so, how do you cope with it?

SUAR

Back and Forth

2011-11-26T07:57:00.001-08:00

This is just one of those silly holiday home videos, nothing special. In fact it is especially goofy and definitely one of those times when you wonder why you ever let anyone video tape you. EVER.

There is one highlight, however. I want to see if you can count how many times my dad runs back and forth. Even when he is not the star of the video, he becomes the star of the video. Am I the only one that thinks this is hilarious? Okay, maybe.

How about you? Do you hate watching yourself on video?

SUAR

Not Worth the Calories

2011-11-25T12:13:00.001-08:00

How was your turkey day? Ours was perfect. We stuffed the turkey this year, so I’m hoping Sam and Ella don’t show up in a few days (get it? Salmonella?)

I tried to do my share of the work:

Ken ate peanuts and watched football. But, to his credit he cleaned up the huge ass mess after dinner.

We all sat down for the feast. You’d think Ken would look happier since he gets to live with me AND has a new job. If it looks smoky, it is. I had some oven issues:

Emma pretending she was at the Renaissance festival and ate a turkey leg:

On to other things.

My mind is a wasteland when I run. I go from dwelling on immense problems like who should be the prime minster of Egypt to being curious about stuff like Occupy Wall Street – what the hell is it? But, most of the time I am thinking about more important subjects like where I can take an emergency dump (that bush up ahead) or how that new Cancun Fiesta nail polish color I bought will look on my toes.

Yesterday’s contemplation was bit different. Somehow I got to thinking about the stupid, offensive or ridiculous things people say. I am of the belief that saying things to hurt people sucks and shouldn’t be done unless you are drunk and cannot be held responsible or that person you want to be mean to has hurt your mother in some way.

In all seriousness, there is rarely a time when being mean to just be mean is acceptable. Yet, sometimes people say the crappiest stuff, and I still can’t figure out why.

Once I made pumpkin cake with cream cheese icing and took a friend of mine (who is no longer a friend of mine) a bunch of the cake. Just because I felt like it. She tasted a piece and said, “It’s okay. Not worth the calories, though.” Who says that? WHO?? A “thank you” would have sufficed.
I remember once my grandmother telling me I had a fat face. That wasn’t so nice.
I have had many year’s worth of trauma to my teeth (I had an accident when I was 12 and have never been the same). In my twenties, one of my front teeth had a root canal and had become discolored. It was kind of yellowish, not black or brown or anything. It didn’t really b0ther me, I guess I was just used to it. A friend of my mom’s told her, “You know Beth would be really pretty if it wasn't for that ugly tooth.” In hindsight, she definitely had a point and this did eventually prompt me to get it fixed. I think it was her bluntness that took me off guard.

Sometimes it’s not the fact that people say things (I mean, maybe I needed to address the tooth issue), but how they say them and the words they use. Word choice is everything. Tone of voice is everything.

Has anyone ever said anything so offensive, mean or blunt that it took you off guard?

SUAR

10 Months, 23 Days

2011-11-24T09:33:00.001-08:00

I am not thankful for losing my credit card last night, but I am thankful for a few other things:

Thankful thing #1: Life has a way of resolving itself. You may remember this post where I let you know of a personal struggle our family was going through. After 10 months and 23 days, I am thrilled to report that Ken was offered a great job yesterday and will start next week. We celebrated so hard last night I lost my credit card (but I really think it was the guy in the blue/green sweatshirt who took it).

I can’t thank you enough for your words of encouragement, your job tips for Ken and for having the courage to share your own personal stories with me. It means more than you know. I also need to thank my friends and family who provided so much support to us during this tough time. Sometimes when you are in the thick of a difficult experience, you can’t see your way out of it, but the people around you can. They help you know there will brighter days. Because there will be.

Thankful thing #2: Joie and I had an amazing early morning 8 mile trail run. I was so cold at 6am I wore my robe in the car to the trailhead. This is how Hugh Heffner runs.

I cannot get my right leg to stop glowing. I think I drank too much yellow Gatorade. We saw tons of elk and deer. Joie told me she could smell the deer; but I couldn't. She is a hunter and tuned into those sorts of things. I could just smell myself and it wasn’t pretty.

The run was incredibly peaceful and serene and the most lovely way I can think of to start this day. We also saw a pack of wolves and Matt Damon, but I forgot my camera. I farted so badly in the car on the way home Joie almost threw up. True story.

Thankful thing #3: At this exact moment I am thankful for sitting on the couch eating warm cinnamon rolls, drinking strong coffee and watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade with my two favorite littler people, Sam and Emma. I will then move onto making Grandma Ball’s stuffing and pie, setting the table, and looking around at the 5 million blessings that are right in front of my face on this day.

I hope you appreciate this picture, because it caused a lot of arguing.

Thankful thing #4: Today is my mom and dad’s 50th anniversary. Imagine spending 50 years with one person. Imagine the memories spanning from the day you met in grade school to the birth of your grandchildren. When you create a history with someone, you create a beautiful story line. Your longevity as a couple gives strength to those younger couples just getting started or those who are struggling. After 50 years, you have truly had the privilege of growing old with someone. And, as their daughter, I’ve had the privilege of watching it happen.

What are you thankful for today?

Happiest of Thanksgivings to you all!

SUAR

PS: The winner of the SUAR iPhone Case giveaway is Laura from Luna Chick Runs! Drop me an email at beth@shutupandrun.net.

Little, Invisible, Smelly Snowflakes

2011-11-23T19:11:00.000-08:00

I am only posting this because you all made me. I removed it, but it is back by popular demand. Don’t say I never did anything for you. Happy Thanksgiving. You can be thankful for me and my love of the fart.

Promise me you will read the Q&A below. I did not do the Q’ing or the A’ing, but I KNOW, as my readers, you will love this as much as I did. Although the title, What Makes a Fart?, might sound silly and childish, I DARE you to not be enlightened and humored by the content of this lovely article. You might get some trivia for your holiday party!

What Makes a Fart?

By Jonathan Smith

Did you know that no two farts are exactly alike? It’s true. Farts are sort of like snowflakes in that regard. Little, invisible, smelly snowflakes.

While everybody past the age of 10 is well-versed in the manifold variety of farts and their associated sounds and smells and sensations and sobriquets, precious few of us know anything at all about the sources of their great diversity. Can you, for instance, explain the lingering piquancy of the "hot fart" in any greater scientific detail than "that one was spicy"? I can't. And that's sad. In order to rectify this egregious oversight by the American public school system and get the straight poop on the basics of butt-gas, I had a little sit down with Dr. Lester Gottesman, a proctologist from St. Luke's Roosevelt who bears an uncanny resemblance to Jerry Springer.

What’s up with the wide variety of noises farts make? Why do some come out as squeakers and others like a diesel truck going up a mountain?

The kinds of flatulence are directly related to the amount of swallowed air and the ability of the intestine to degrade food stuff to gas. It also has to do with the shape of the sphincter when the gas is released. If the sphincter is tight, it will make a different noise than if it’s more relaxed.

Often times my farts feel physically hot. What causes that sensation?

The sensation of heat is when the internal sphincter opens a little to sample what’s in the rectum. That is a normal response. If there isn’t a great deal of gas, the body will expel it slower, allowing you to feel the fart’s heat. If there is a lot of gas, the gas comes out too quickly for the body to feel the heat.

Is the temperature of the slow, hot farts actually higher than the quick, cool ones?

The temperature should be the same. Again, it is a product of the amount and speed in which one expels gas.

What’s the reason behind the smell?

The smell has to do with the amount of absorbed products like methane, which is made by fermentation of what we eat, and that’s what causes the bad smell, basically. As a baby, when you’re born, passing through the vagina, you’re infected by the bacteria in your mother’s colon, and that’s the bacteria you’re dealt for your lifetime. Also, everybody is different in how they’ll digest wheat products, milk products, whatever. And if they are not digested properly there will be a lot of methane produced and a lot of acid, and that would tend to cause a stinkier bowl movement.

Wait, go back to that thing about the vagina.

A baby is born with a sterile intestinal track. During the delivery, there’s lots of fluid and stool and whatever, and it’s thought that at that exposure the baby’s colon is populated by the mother’s colon bacteria, thereby affecting the smell of the individual's farts for the rest of their lifetime. There’s also other theories claiming the colon is populated during the first few months of exposure to fecal material, but that probably doesn’t affect the smell as much as the initial intake of feces by the baby during delivery.

Wow. It's like original shit sin. Does what your mother ate prior to delivery effect the bacteria you get?

Yes. In fact, they now also think that the appendix keeps an arsenal of bacteria so that if, for whatever reason, the bacteria in your colon gets killed by antibiotics the appendix can repopulate your colon with the bacteria that you’ve had since birth. That’s the new thought as to why the appendix is around.

So the signature smell of your farts wholly depends on how much poop your mom had at the time…

It’s not the amount, just the type of bacteria.

OK, but that's really what determines your fart smell forever?

Well, there are also other components. Farts are made by two things. They are made by one, the amount of air you swallow--so people who drink a lot of soda, chew a lot of gum, suck on candies, they get a lot of air into their colon, and that air comes out in farts. The second component is gas production by the colon. The colon’s job is to break down the nutrients in food products, like proteins and fats and sugars, and in the process of breaking them down they produce either sulfur or methane, neither of which smell great. If, let’s say, the colon has stuff in it like grapes and beans, and if it’s just sitting there for a few days it’s just going to ferment more and more until it becomes very smelly, versus if what you eat goes through quickly--like if you had the same beans, but it came out eight hours later, you’ll tend not to have as much gas from those beans. So it has to do with what your intestinal transit is. For most people, it takes 32 hours from the time they eat something to the time they shit something. That’s the average, so that means there are people who move their bowels every three or four days, and they have more time for the beans to ferment in the colon, thereby producing larger amounts of gas and more frequent, smellier spasms of gas.

What’s the correlation between the increased level of farts and drinking beer or coffee?

Well, beer is carbonated, so that’s why it makes you fart. Coffee causes the sphincter muscles to relax just a little bit, so you tend to have more farts by accident if you’re drinking something with caffeine than if you aren't.

Where does the differentiation between burps and farts occur? Why does some gas come out of your mouth vs. your ass?

It has to do with the configuration and the tone of muscles in your stomach. If you drink a whole lot of liquid with bubbles quickly, if you take one of these [picks up a can of diet Pepsi] and down it quickly there will be so much gas produced that the gas will need to go someplace, and the best place to go is to come back up. If you’re drinking a small amount, then it has time to work its way through the small intestine and get to the large intestine, at which point the body starts fermenting it.

I’ve also had people who want me to operate on their anuses to make their fart sounds a little more appealing.

Get the f&$k out of here, what kind of a fart sound are they going for?

Generally they have a higher pitched sound, and they want something with a lower pitch.

Like a baritone versus a squeaker?

Basically. So I had to configure their anus skin so their fart sound would be more to their pleasing.

Oh shit, you actually did it? Someone paid you to make their farts sound better.

Well they tried to put it through with their insurance.

Which insurance company is willing to pay for that?

None, so far all the companies have denied it. But the people try and then they end up having to pay for it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There is actually a bit more to the article that is hilarious, but graphic. Go HERE to read.

So, what’d you learn? I was fascinated by the fact that a mom gives her child the gift of his/her fart smell for the rest of their lives. I say to my kids: you are welcome!

What do you think make someone want to go into the field of proctology? I don’t know. I might have to call up Dr. Jelly Finger to get that answer.

SUAR

Spread Eagle Tuesday

2011-11-23T07:09:00.001-08:00

I had this great little fart post ready to go last night, but decided to take it down. Wasn’t sure if enough people are like me and want to indulge in lengthy reading about gas. I will say that I learned a ton from the article, What Makes a Fart? Like the fact that a mom hands down the fart smell to her kids through her bacteria during delivery. To my kids I say: You are welcome!

Go read it. You will seriously die laughing and will actually learn quite a bit (Why does coffee cause farting? Do people really have body parts reconstructed to change the noises their farts make?). It is rather graphic, however. I always wonder what motivates people to go into the field of proctology. Guess I will have to ask Dr. Jelly Fingers himself.

Lately I have gotten into the habit of spending quite a bit of time at the gym on Tuesdays. Tuesday is yoga day with Andrea at 9:15. I’ve been going early and getting in a challenging treadmill run (3-4% incline for a few miles will kick your ass unless you are much tougher than I am). I then do some strength work. As much as I want my adductors (inner thighs) to get stronger (generally this area is weak on runners, but helps stabilize your body and helps with alignment when you run – thanks, Matt), the adductor weight machine freaks me out.

This is not me

The fact is, I am not a prude, but this spread eagle thing is a bit much. I now realize why they put this particular machine in the back of the gym, facing a wall. It would be really creepy if they put the water fountain right in front of the machine and all the pervs could come over and “get water” while stealing a look at your “repetitions.” Honestly, weight machines in general freak me out a bit. Mostly because I’ve never really use them. If I do weight training, I usually use my body as the resistance (lunges, etc). Yet, the weight machine has its time and place. Just not with a lot of people watching.

Another thing I noticed on gym-Tuesdays is that there are millions of people who go to the gym to just wander around. It’s weird. My biggest pet peeve, though, is when people talk on the phone while working out. One day I had a woman get on the elliptical right beside me (even though there were others available) and scream into her phone the whole time. I wanted to pinch her head off. I egged her car instead.

Speaking of gyms, I have some Biggest Loser impressions from last night (spoiler alert):

The food eating challenge was gross. You know that food had to have been cold and congealed. Plus, the thought of eating an entire bowl of cranberry sauce makes me gag. I honestly think I would have won that challenge because I would have gone for the cornbread first given the fact it might have been one of the lower calorie items.
Dolvett sweats a lot during the weigh-ins. I would like to see him on the adductor machine. Naked.
Even though Ramon returned to his beloved, Jess, for a skydive jump I could just tell by her body language she’s not into him. I might be wrong, this is just a hunch. Not like Jess and I text and go to Subway all the time together or anything.
Ramon looks much better with short hair. But, about that argyle vest…
John had it out for Sunny. I get why he gave her the pound disadvantage, but not sure why he also crushed her at the vote.
Dolvett looks good in red. Dolvett looks good in flannel. Dolvett looks good in _________. The answer is: anything!
You can tell Anna has checked out. You don’t hear much from her anymore. Except, “You can do eeeet!”
Bob almost cried when talking about his sister. This was quite touching and heartfelt.
I cannot wait for makeover week! But, what I really cannot wait for is the MARATHON!! I wish more of you lived closer, we could have a party on marathon night and place bets on who would win. Heck, I think I’ll do that anyway. I love to gamble.

Do you use the weight machines at the gym? No. Only sporadically.

What are your pet peeves at the gym? Mine is people who use their phones. And, yes, that is allowed at my gym. I also hate it when people use the adductor machine naked.

Who do you think will win the marathon on TBL? Right now my money is on John.

SUAR

Don’t forget the SUAR sale. Go HERE. End Monday. Lots of cool stuff including long sleeve techs.

I Need All the Help I Can Get

2011-11-22T06:49:00.001-08:00

I let Lucky out this morning and was greeted by this:

How can your day not be good when it starts out that way?

"When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love." Marcus Aurelius

I put the few stragglers into the dishwasher, started the coffee, took out the recycling and fed the guinea pig and the three-legged dog. I grabbed the Denver Post and Longmont Times Call from the driveway and filled a huge cup with ice water. I went to the cabinet and grabbed these:

Taking these is just a part of my morning routine, much like dumping a cup of half and half into my coffee and dropping a few kids at the pool. I don’t think about it much. But, today I was wondering: Does everyone take similar supplements? Are these doing anything for me?

I take them because I am supposed to take them, but it’s not like I see any difference in my day to day energy if I don’t. I just take them because I figure they fill in the blanks when my diet isn’t up to snuff and they provide me with preventative stuff over the long term. I am almost 45 years old for God’s sake. I need all the help I can get.

Right now I take:

1. Women’s One by Rainbow Light ($17.99 for 90): This is chock full of good stuff including probiotics, B complex, and lots of nourishing things:

2. Food Based Calcium by Rainbow Light ($12.99 for 90): 1,000 mg calcium, 1,000 IU vitamin D, 500 mg magnesium (2 caplets). After two stress fractures, I found that while my bone density was good, it was deteriorating with age. I have to be careful to get enough calcium (and vitamin D which helps with absorption). I find I don’t get enough in my normal diet (although I do drink a lot of chocolate milk), so I have need to supplement. It’s also important to do weight bearing exercise to build stronger bones.

I hear that food-based calcium is better for you because it is not manufactured, it is the real deal, the same as if you were eating yogurt or eating collard greens. I buy all my Rainbow Light products through Walgreens.com because I found they are much cheaper there than at Whole Foods and other places.

3. Move Free ($24.99 for 160): This contains glucosamine, chondroitn, Uniflex (an antioxidant) and joint fluid to keep joints lubed and strong. I got this bottle at Costco.

4. Fish Oil ($9.99 for 150 soft gels): I take the Nature Made brand because it is burp-less. Other brands make me burp up fish taste all day and it makes me sick. I hear you can also freeze them and that helps. I take one 1,000 mg pill. Supposedly this will help me not get coronary heart disease. Fingers crossed.

Keep in mind, taking supplements is just part of the equation. If you eat junk food and watch the Real Housewives all day, supplements will not save you. You will just be out of shape, overweight and have really high levels of vitamin B2.

What, if any, supplements to you take and why?

I’m off to do some hill work and then yoga…hoping the gas is minimal.

SUAR

PS: Don’t forget to check out my STORE page. Sale ends Monday.

New Shut Up + Run Stuff & Giveaway

2011-11-21T08:21:00.001-08:00

Now it’s time for some FUN! It is not yet Black Friday, but it is certainly Black Monday here on SUAR.

Need some more glitz for your tree? (Just FYI, this is not a round bulb. It is a flat 3” circle).

Front Back

How about a kick ass iPhone case?

Maybe you want some glitz for yourself (rhinestones, that is):

And, introducing…the new SUAR long sleeve v-neck tech shirt. It is hard to tell from the picture, but the RUN is in either purple or blue camouflage.

I’m showing you theses shots to give you a better idea about real life color (the purple is more subdued than in the above shot):

And of course, the short sleeve tech is still available:

This sale will go for one week only from November 21-November 28. That way I can be sure to have all items to you well before Christmas. Go to the STORE page to order.

Prices and sizing charts can be found on the STORE page.

Just to point out that the SUAR shirt can travel well, check out Zuhairah in Malaysia! She just finished the Penang International Bridge Half Marathon!

I’d like to give a huge shout out to Family Fan Club who has done all of my printing and helped with the designs! Go check them out if you are thinking of doing any customized stuff for yourself.

I have one SUAR iPhone case to give away courtesy of Family Fan Club!! If you want to enter, just leave me a comment telling me what your Thanksgiving plans are. I’ll pick a winner at random on Thursday.

Happy shopping! If you have questions, email me at beth@shutupandrun.net.

SUAR

Road Warrior

2011-11-20T11:17:00.001-08:00

Today’s run: 9 miles in 1:21.

I was excited to get out the door. Probably because I wore fancy gloves.

Yes, it looks like I have a mini-penis. I assure you I do not.

Do not be jealous. You too could have these gloves for $.50 from Target. I don’t talk about Target a lot because as much as I love it, I try not to go there. Just walking in the door and I am $50 poorer. It never fails. Yet somehow going there, like going to Costco, puts me in a good mood.

Conversely, going to Wal-Mart puts me in a horrible mood and makes me think the world is going to shit. It is the ongoing Target vs. Wal-Mart debate and Target will always win out for me. Maybe it is because you see a lot of this sort of thing at Wal-Mart, and I don’t care for it:

I swear I never see crap like that at Target. I’m not being uppity, it just hasn’t happened. Yet.

Back to the run. It was stinking freezing when I set out. 25 degrees. Slightly overcast. I was going into the wind on the way out and I thought my face might fall off. My snot froze to my flaring nostrils. I ran along this road towards the foothills.

I passed this grave.

I don’t know who Cinnamon is. Person? Dog? Doesn’t matter, this being was LOVED. I used to have a guinea pig named Cinnamon but I don’t think she was buried here.

At the halfway mark I had some watermelon GU Chomps, stretched out my ass and headed for home. I passed a bunch of peacocks which was totally random. I think they are lost because they are a long way from their homeland of Sri Lanka or India. I wanted to tell them, but I don’t speak Sinhala.

It was decent run. Not perfect in terms of pain (I had some stiffness in the last three miles), but leaps and bounds from where I was four weeks ago. Plus, my pace was about 30 seconds per mile faster than on my 8 miler last week, and that was without trying in the least. I came home and chugged some chocolate milk while rolling on the foam roller. Good to go!

I do think the active release work with Matt is really working. I have also been doing yoga at least twice per week. I like to do the sweaty crack aka Bikram yoga - I think that helps to keep my muscles loose and supple.

So, the Rock n Roll Vegas half (2 weeks from today) starts at 5:30 p.m This is not my normal run time and I never have run a race at night. If I was smart like some people I would be doing my long runs in the evenings to get ready. But, I’m not. I just don't want to. I figure I’ll wing it on that day and hope for the best.

My toughest challenge will be to watch what I eat that day I figure if I have a huge plate of Mexican food at about 3pm I’ll be golden. What’s a SUAR race without a porta potty or squat story?

I am getting excited for the race. For all of the times I’ve been to Vegas (way too many to count), I’ve never run the Strip at night. I’m also excited to be working with the Chocolate Milk campaign as a Team Refuel Road Warrior. SUAR the Warrior. Has a nice ring to it. Be very afraid.

For more info on the science behind why chocolate milk rules after a long workout, look HERE. Basically, you’re getting the perfect ratio of carbs to protein for recovery and helping to build leaner muscle mass. Hello! Who doesn’t want that?

Which do you prefer to shop at, Wal-Mart or Target?

Ever run an evening or night race? How do you recommend eating/fueling during the day of the race?

Do you do the sweaty crack version of yoga? I’ve been doing it for about two years now. Love it. Something about the sweat and the intense heat. Maybe I should move to the equator.

SUAR

PS: Check back tomorrow for the SUAR Christmas shopping extravaganza! There will be a long sleeve tech shirt (with a new design) and a couple other new stocking stuffer items.