Wish They Were Mine

It's finally here. We're off to Oregon in the morning for the relay. I will be in seat 13E. Right in the middle. Just where I love to be since you can't look out the window and can't stretch your feet in the aisle. I hope I have a really heavy set and odorous person to my right and a really talkative person to my left who has just come back from a convention about how to treat hemorrhoids. I do seem to attract these types and the only redeeming thing is that it makes for some good blogging.

Speaking of good blogging - awhile back in an effort to attract more support for me winning the Hood to Coast Relay contest, I promised some boob shots. In clothing, of course. Vanilla seemed to really get excited about this and now that I've gone on to win the damn contest I feel obligated. Only problem is, I don't have any tatas. None. But I do have socks. So here ya go:

That rack would be SO nice if they were my own and not a pair of khaki knee highs from Kohl's.

So I've done my shopping from the recommended packing list. Here are some of the goods:

Most of the stuff revolves around pain relief and hygiene. I have never before taken a bath with Huggies baby wipes, but I think this might be in my immediate future. Such wipes can also be used for ass wiping (and not just the asses of babies), so they always come in handy.

So wish us luck. Wish for us that:

• All of my farting and possible sharting is taken with good humor
• Our team doesn't hate us because we're so old and slow
• I look good in my black ninja outfit
• It doesn't rain
• Our marriage can withstand a 197 mile relay
• I don't shit my pants (please wish really hard on this one)
• Ken's possible torn calf holds up (and I don't mean baby cow)
• The hemorrhoid convention was interesting

More fun and interesting blogging to come once the adventure commences at 6:30pm Friday night!!