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Friday, February 3, 2012

Slacker. So What?

For starters: I love that a donation just came in for Sherry in the amount of $26.20! It took me a moment to “get” the significance of the amount…brilliant!

Yes it IS a snow day, we actually got an automated call from the school district at 9:30 p.m. last night. How nice that the kids know so much ahead of time that they can plan to sleep in. WTF? When I was a kid, we had to bring out the radio at 5:00 a.m., wait for the announcer to go through all of  the school districts (we were in the “H” school district, so it was about half way through the alphabet). If they didn’t say “Howard County Schools” were closed, I was immediately so tired I could not move or get out of bed. If they did saying “Howard County Schools” were closed I was all the sudden doing cartwheels across the room.

Today, I am cracking the whip. While I lay here:

P1110943

Sam is out doing this:

P1110939

It’s only fair. He is a strong teenager and I am a fragile almost 45-year old (19 more days if you want to send gifts and money) who is accident prone. Best I just stay in one spot and not try to clean anything. shovel anything or get dressed into any clothing other than PJs. I did exert myself making coffee and pancakes, but that is is as far as it will go. I do think snow days are free license to bring out beer much earlier than happy hour times.

I am a weird girl. I will go run ten miles, but then get pissed if I find a parking spot closest to the Target door. I will go run ten miles, but then I will spend the rest of the day static, asking my kids to please go to the garage refrigerator to get me a gallon of milk because it’s too far to walk (which would make sense if you were Lisa VanderPump and lived in a 49,000 square foot house, but I am not her and my house is as big as one of her bathrooms). I will go run ten miles, but the mailbox seems kind of far away and maybe I will drive by it later, roll down my window and reach my torso out of the car to get all of my VIM (very important mail).

I am clearly a SLUNNER (slacker + runner)

This is not my house

On today’s snow day, I’ve had some time to comprise this letter:

Dear guy at the gym yesterday morning wearing jeans and hiking boots,

I know that it was early, only 6:00 a.m. and maybe you did not have time to change your clothes from the night before. That’s okay, it just seems that jeans might be a tad uncomfortable for a work out. What I really wanted to comment on was not your attire. I wanted to ask if you would mind not standing 5” from the back of my treadmill. There is a lot of space in the gym and I know you like to stop for ten minutes at a time to watch TV. I also know that the TV is above my head, but there are many spots where you can watch TV other than right behind me. Maybe I have space issues, but you standing almost on my treadmill freaks me out a bit. If you do it again I will fart it in your general direction. Or maybe worse.

Any gym pet peeves for you this week? I am not super high maintenance, but I do get annoyed if someone is not giving me personal space. Same thing at the grocery store when someone moves into my space while I’m checking out. Just give me a minute to swipe my card and get my receipt before you push your way on into my paying area.

Are you ever a slunner?

SUAR

46 comments:

  1. I am a slamunner...needed to put the 'mom' part in ;-)

    In fact, my initials –MRS –stand for Mother Runner Slacker...but that is in reverse order of hours spent in the activity :)

    Enjoy your snow :)

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  2. My 2 gym pet peeves are #1 the girls who wear a regular bra as appose to a sports bra and there breasts are all over the place while they run, take step class or hop on the elliptical. #2 "casual wear" leggings and/or tights are not the same as "fitness grade" spandex ones. I do not want to see your underwear and/or skin through your pants, nor do I want to watch your two cheeks wrestling around in there like two porcupines in a feed sack. Good quality gym pants/shorts will support you and hold everything in place.

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  3. First, feel free to send some of that snow to Ohio. It was 45* yesterday. IN FREAKING FEBRUARY! Ugh.

    Second, I have SERIOUS space issues when I'm on the treadmill. It never fails that halfway through my run, someone gets on the treadmill right next to me. When there are 5 other ones open. WHich is why I now only run on the treadmill when the weather is so bad I'm watching for tornados. Or there's a football game on I NEED to watch.

    Third, LMAO. As soon as I read "fart in your general direction", I started running through the ENTIRE scene from MOnty Python and the Holy Grail. Thank you, now I need to watch that movie tonight.

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  4. I'm a huge slunner! And I only go 3 miles and still don't wanna walk to the mailbox!

    There's a worker at my gym who wears a bottle of cologne everyday and he'll stand on the treadmill next to mine and talk to someone for 10 minutes while I'm practically being fumigated!

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  5. Sort of a personal space complaint, but not gym related. Although it can be too.

    In a bathroom with let's say 10 stalls and I'm in one of them and the other 9 are free, then someone comes and sits in the one RIGHT beside me!

    Yeah yeah, western world problems.

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  6. Yep, I'm definately a slunner! I love it! I will text my husband if I'm in the house & he's in the garage and tell him to bring me something; usually a diet dr. Pepper (or pecker as I refer to it) to mix with Cpt. Morgan. I do pull up to the mailbox & get the mail, and wait for my husband to ask if I need gas in my car, which I never pay attention to, and he will go put gas in it for me. I could go on & on... I'm definately a member of the slunner club!

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  7. I grew up near you - but I only had to wait for the B's so they could say "Baltimore County." Enjoy your snow day!

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  8. It drives my husband crazy that I make him walk to the store from the back 40 in a rain storm... or get the mail when the wind is blowing. I'm not sure why, I'm the one training and running all of these miles, so I guess I'm not a slunner.

    The people who do not sweat at the gym, then talk about getting a cake to eat since they burned all of those calories... What calories? I spent more listening to you chit-chat while doing intervals on the TM and trying not to fly off the back of it.

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  9. Creepy jean man! My pet peeves lately are runners that don't say hello when you do. I don't expect hellos from everybody, but if I extend a "good morning" or a smile, why not give one back?

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  10. Way to put your spawn to work! So with you on pet peeves. Gym pet peeve has to be treadmill space. Why chose the one right next to me if 5 are open?! Unless it's a hottie I can race...

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  11. This week a girl got on the elliptical next to me and had three separate phone conversations. ANNOYING!

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  12. Okay, I'm joining the party. I can't stand at the grocery store when I'm trying to put my bags in the cart and my card away and the clerk is already checking out the next person so they have no choice but to move into my personal space. I get you are timed...make a moral choice. Just slow it down 30 seconds. All I ask is 30 seconds. And milk. It's heavy. Yes, I need more strength training. But it's also cold. So I can't stand to buy it so I will ask my husband to get it for me as often as possible. As I pout that it's heavy and cold.

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  13. Oh, I had the Space Issue thing today! I was trying to do Burpees and people were walking six inches behind me, trying to take a shortcut to the basketball court. I was throwing Evil Eyeballs over my shoulder like you wouldn't believe.

    Then I figured, if I'm doing a Burpee and someone trips over me because they can't give my 5'2" self a leeeeeetle bit more room (lazy bastards), they deserve it. No one did, though, unfortunately.

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  14. That guy in the gym wearing jeans standing behind you? He was probably scoping out your butt. Farting in his general direction is indicated.

    I like to have my personal space, and oddly enough, if there is room people usually give it to me. Maybe it's the looming beady eyed presence indicating barely restrained homicidal urges that make people keep their distance.

    That pool is such a waste. A weird shape, with no lane line down the middle. They had the space, they could have put in a real 25 m pool. But then they probably don't swim, they only lounge about having people bring them fruity drinks.

    No gym pet peeves. How about a locker one? There is a fairly small number of full height lockers, and they are always in use, so the bench in front of it is always full. I'd rather have the full height, and deal with transitionally naked people. But one geezer strewed his stuff all over the entire bench, room enough for 3 or 4 people in normal circumstances. As if that wasn't enough, he strewed stuff in front of most of the other lockers in that bank. Jerk. Plus, he stank, even after a shower.

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  15. I'm such a slunner, much to the chagrin of hubby!

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  16. My gym pet peeve is one guy. He is so annoying that Hubby and I call him Grunting Man. He can be heard across the room, people, so this is not just the normal grunt. Even worse? An hour on the stairmaster equals an hour of grunting. Strength training day? Half hour of grunting, extra grunty.

    He is hairy, he wears a tank top, and he drives a Miata.

    I'm watching you, Grunting Man. Be careful in dark alleys.

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  17. I wanted to be a SLUNNER today, but made myself go...Enjoy it, you deserve a break.

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  18. I go to a small gym so space is something I deal with. My peeves are not cleaning the machines when you are done using them, turning the tv up so loud that I can't hear my iPod and then proceed to shout to your buddy because you can't hear over the tv you turned up, and talking on the phone your entire "workout".

    As to being a slunner, you bet!

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  19. Yesterday a girl brings her four year old daughter to yoga. My initial thought "how cute", but, when we got to Savasana (final relaxation pose), not so "cute" afterall. Zoning out for five minutes did not happen with little one flip-flopping right behind me. Ugh, instead of total relaxation, all I felt was perturbed!

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  20. When I used to go to the gym, my main pet peeve was someone hogging some equipment forEVAR while I just wanted 2 mins to do some light reps! That and male BO.

    I think I would like a place like Curves.

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  21. Hey, just wanted to say I saw you on the news tonight! The virtual race is getting some good recognition & promotion. Thinking of Sherry.

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  22. Beth~Saw your interview on Q2 (KTVQ) in Billings, MT today...how wonderful! I am unable to run that day due to my daughter's basketball tournament but have bibs printed for my team (and myself) to wear for their warmups...I know it's not running but still wanted to honor a woman that was such an inspiration and dear friend to many of my relatives and friends in Richey, MT and Sidney, MT...God Bless!!

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  24. Definitely the personal space pet peeve - mostly in line at the PO, grocery store, and waiting to pick my kids up after school. Walking up is faster than the car line, but really, ladies, must we push and shove to get to be first? If you need to be at the front, you need to get there earlier. We're all waiting for kids that get dismissed at 3:15. If you need to get to your kid so urgently, sign him out early.
    (rant over. i feel better now.)

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  25. I am definitely a slunner. Thanks for justifying my laziness. It seemed like everyone else had super powers - run, wash baseboards, dust blinds, pluck cats eyebrows, cook dinner for the whole neighborhood... That's just not my style. Running is my accomplishment for the day/week.

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  26. Most definitely. Sunday mornings...long run, groceery shopping, and laundry. Sunday afternoons...on the couch with my computer and a book at my side. I only move to get up to get snacks and go to the bathroom. ahhh. No guilt.

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  27. Recently my biggest pet peeve has been the personal space thing. Every time I am on a treadmill lately, someone plants themselves right next to me. Forget that I am in a row of 20 otherwise unoccupied mills. I don't get it. They probably talk to people in the locker room while they are naked too...

    Glad you got that snow day you were hoping for!

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  28. Biggest gym pet peeve is the people that get all scented up to go and then get on the machine next to me. Lotions, hairspray, perfume, whatever. Sets my allergies off every time and then I can't breath enough to get through my workout.
    Or the women who stand still on the machines, talking on their phones and then tell everyone how hard they worked at the gym.

    The Kidless Kronicles

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  30. Twinscrapmom said...
    Bikram pet peeve- someone who sets up directly behind me (with about 6 inches between the end of my mat and the beginning of his/her mat) and then stands at the very front of his/her mat for the entire standing series.

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  31. OH...my pet peeve? I have 2 major ones...Guys (or girls) that use a ridiculous amount of cologne/perfume before coming to the gym and THEN have the GALL to get on the treamill RIGHT beside me. The smell burns my nose...we're here to work, not attract!
    2) Young college girls that take up treadmil space with a cute, lil leisurley walk while chatting on their cell phones about Goodness knows what!?! Grrrrrr.....

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  32. I grew up in Maryland too but only had to wait for the C's - Charles County. What really sucked is when you tuned in and the first one you heard was "D" Dorchester County and you had to wait though the whole list again. Seriously, kids today are so spoiled.

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  33. Slunner - you bet. Need a cooler name though. I think of it as balancing my energy and recovery - I spend it on running (and other things I choose to do or have to do) and let other things go and don't expend effort. I think of spending energy in the same way as when I used to have a diet soda w/ an ice cream sundae (don't eat either now!) - if I've got a choice and I'm gonna spend it, it's gonna be on something good or in the case of running, important to me.

    Space issues - yep...thankfully work out not at a gym unless on travel, but definitely. People on street, public transit, co-workers, stores (like Tess - tho I'll step back, move cart, elbow people, say "excuse me").

    Re snow days - I've had more delays and snow days ("telework" ugh, no real snow days) since living where I am than I EVER had growing up in Chicago. There was 1 snow day my entire first 12 years of school - a blizzard dumped almost 3 ft in about 24 hours. We got 1 day off. Other than that, I don't even remember delays. One day after a big snow, the bus didn't come - my mom (who was at work and couldn't leave) told me to walk the couple miles to the high school. so I did.

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  34. Since my "gym" is in my basement (where I put in 95% of all my miles) my only pet peeve is that I can't watch the TV because the kids have to have it on in order to stay where I can see them (even if they aren't actually WATCHING it). Oh, and this week the 2 year old pooped (not potty trained. yet.) which stunk up the whole basement and then waited until mile 2 to TAKE IT OFF and look at what was inside requiring me to stop my run, change it, hermetically seal it, wash my hands and jump back on the 'mill. I would take the guy lurking behind me any day (who was probably checking YOU out and not watching the talking heads anyhow).

    I am anxiously anticipating the day when I have semi-reliable child labor at my beck and call so I can be a slunner.

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  35. I am totally lazy. Yet I will run a marathon or do a tri. Its crazy.
    My pet peeve is people that won't share a lane at the pool. Each lane is plenty big enough for two people.
    Let's all share people.

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  36. During my last marathon training, I had bib number 262 at a practice half marathon - didn't realize the significance until the race was over!

    I am such a slunner I've had to train my BF to park as close as possible to the main entrance everywhere we go, especially during peak training. He doesn't get it, but he sure can't call me a slacker!

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  37. What is it with men and tv? it has such a mesmerising effect on them that they can't think or act when it's on.

    I too am a slunner - usually. But because I can't run at the moment I'm back to being just a slacker.

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  39. Gym Pet Peeve is Gym'"couples " who display PDA EVERYWHERE ! I mean really ?? Get a room ! Yes, your BF does have a nice ass but I do not need to see YOUR hand on it every 5 minutes !

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  40. I can't stand those people that try to push you through the check out at the grocery store. A little space please to put in my PIN number would be nice. I think I am going to follow your lead and just start farting every where,, then people will keep their distance LOL . Gym Pet peeves,, there are 20 empty tread mills,, you got to get on the one right next to me,, PLease !!!!

    Tammy

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  41. I am definitely a slunner, yesterday ran 9miles and it was TORTURE to put food in the slow-cooker! It cooks everything by itself but it's so HARD to chop an onion and put broth and pork roast in there! ;) I'm not sure yet what distance turns me into one, is over 6miles, over 7? For this reason I don't think I could run a full marathon, a 20mile run would have me never leaving the bed after.

    My #1 gym pet peeve has to do with personal space, why when all the other treadmills are empty do you HAVE to take the one right next to me?! Why not take one of the 20 others that have no one around?!

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  42. YES! Hubs and I are both slunners, which is why household projects and chores often simply do not get done. We're too tired to do anything but run! ha!

    Maybe we should have a kid to shovel the driveway...

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  43. What is it with jeans at the gym? Dude today was wearing jeans for sure, and if i'm not mistaken an izod shirt too. WORKING OUT! WTF!

    And no slunner here. I park at the furthest spot within reason and walk. I do not get the mail b/c who gets mail? All my sh*t is online....mailbox schmailbox.....ha!

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