Full Circle

Tragedy struck and we are having a water bottle funeral today. Freaking dishwasher went crazy hot and did some damage. Why is it always the favorites that get trashed?:

Moving on…

145 days ago I went out for an 8 mile run and returned with a stress fracture. Today I ran for 8 miles, the furthest I have run since that dreaded day of injury. Two months ago I could run for 8 minutes. Today: 75 minutes.

It felt effortless (well, except for those hills where I chanted “Heart…Break…Hill. Heart…Break…Hill” under my breath). Nothing hurt. I am not smiling ear to ear. I am smiling coast to coast. Earth to sun.

I ran west on the peaceful and quiet dirt back roads of Boulder County. I was passed by practically the whole University of Colorado track team. They blew by me effortlessly. My competitive side hates being passed. But, my humble, vulnerable and soulful side doesn't give a shit. I am running. Yes, my pace is about a minute per mile slower than I would typically run. But, I am running. Not walking. Not in pain. Not struggling. I am running and it makes me feel free, competent, capable.

Plus, I don’t want to be a gorgeous, carefree, youthful co-ed who runs 6 minute miles anyway.

The ego is a powerful thing. It wants to pit us against other people and be better. It wants to tell us we are not good enough and berate us for not being the best. It is judgmental and controlling. Yet, it pushes us to go harder, longer and faster. The ego has a time and a place. Yet, one has to know when to put it aside, when it doesn’t serve us well.

Here are today’s epiphanies because I love personal growth and like to shove it down your throats:

• If you are injured, discouraged your endurance is not where you want it to be, or just feel stuck, have faith. If I can go from 8 minutes to 75 minutes, you can too. Whatever you are battling, patience is your friend. When we’re in the thick of hard times (and I’m not just talking about running) we think it will always be this way. It won’t.
  
  The wonder of life is that there is ebb and flow. Highs and lows. Just as much as you can count on the low points, you can count on things turning around and heading up. Your “normal” might be different, but so be it. The only true thing we can count on in this life is that there will be change.
  
• Don’t waste energy comparing yourself to the next guy/gal/transvestite. Use all of your energy to keep moving forward with your goals. It’s overstated, but true: there will always be someone faster, stronger, thinner, richer, fitter, less constipated whatever. There will also always be someone slower, weaker, fatter, poorer, more out of shape, more constipated. The only way you can truly win is when you exceed your expectations for yourself. However that looks.

What talent I have. I can talk poop, farts and in the next breath get all deep on you. It’s a gift I tell ya.

Rejoicing in the high,

SUAR