Moving away from waxing our privates for a moment, I’d like to broach a more serious topic.
Shawn had a great post the other day about knowing your audience before making snap decisions about them. This got me to thinking…
Have you ever been the victim of someone’s bad assumptions about you? A time when you were not given the benefit of the doubt? It feels really crappy. You find yourself with your jaw on the floor, wanting to explain “but…but…if you only realized…if you only knew…”
One story comes to mind for me and it actually still makes me cringe to think about.
21 years ago:
I was fresh out of college and had scored my first job with an international development firm in Washington, D.C. I had moved back in with my parents post-graduation and lived about an hour outside of the city. I can’t remember if I didn't have a car or just didn’t want to deal with rush hour and parking, but I decided to take the commuter bus into town.
The first morning of my first real job dawned. It was September 1989. I went to catch the bus in the parking lot of an industrial park. It was still dark outside. I was a ball of nerves. I had on my best and only “interview” outfit. I was distracted, sick with anticipation. The bus had just pulled in and I went to get on. I found my seat. I had been seated for about a minute when an older guy (won’t call him a gentleman) stormed up to me screaming, “WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE CUTTING IN LINE IN FRONT OF THE REST OF US??? DO YOU THINK WE WERE WAITING OUT THERE FOR OUR HEALTH?”
I can still see his enraged face.
I was shocked. I didn’t say a word. I know it sounds naive and silly, but I had no clue I had cut in front of a bunch of people. I had blinders on with this whole first-day-on-the-job-thing.
The bus was completely quiet. Everyone stared at me. I started to cry and could not stop.
Here’s the thing. The guy was right. I should not have butted in line. No kidding. But maybe, just maybe, he could have approached me privately and said, “I’ve never seen you here before, let me give you some advice on how things work around here.” I really needed some TLC that day. For someone to cut me a break.
On the other side – have you ever failed to give someone else the benefit of the doubt like this lady at the airport?:
A young lady was in an airport waiting for her flight. Since she had some time to spare she brought along a book and a bag of cookies. She sat down opened the book and the bag of cookies. A man was seated right beside her. After sometime she picked up a cookie from the bag. The man did the same. This irritated her and she was thinking, "how dare this man."
But, because she did not want to cause a scene she let it pass. After awhile she again picked another cookie and the man did the same. She picked one and the man did the same. She was really getting mad now but again she had to control her temper.
Finally, there was one piece left and she was wondering what the man would do. She did not have to wait long. The man took the cookie, and broke it in half. He ate the other half leaving the other for her.
She almost exploded but managed to curb her temper. Finally, her flight was called. Still fuming from her experience, she went into the plane and took her seat. She opened her bag to look for something when she noticed that she still had her bag of cookies. Untouched and unopened.Then she realized that she had forgotten that her cookies were in her bag. She was eating from the man's bag of cookies. And to think that she was mad and irritated. And to think that she wanted to get mad at the man for his lack of manners. And to think that the man shared the last cookie. He did not say anything; he just broke the last cookie in half and left. She realized that she would never be able to explain what she had done. {source}
There are four things we will never recover. A stone after it is thrown. The word after it is said. The occasion after it is lost. And, the time after it is gone.
Do you have regrets about something you have said or done? Of course, we all do. Have you learned from your experience?
Every opportunity is a chance to do better and to select our words and actions carefully. Once things are said and done, they can’t be retrieved or erased. But also, when things that should be said are left unspoken, we may never have the chance to say them again.
Don’t know why I’ve got all this on my mind today. Just thinking we could all be a bit more patient with one another instead of being so caught up in ourselves. We have the opportunity every moment of every day to make a positive or negative (guy on the bus, lady in the airport) impact on those around us.
Today I’m trying to remember that our words and actions reveal the kind of people we are. We may think we have all the time in the world, but we do not.
Trying to take moments to do what is right and kind,
SUAR
