Friday, January 6, 2012

20 Running Instructions

While I don’t know him personally or in the Biblical sense, the Dalai Lama seems like a pretty smart, insightful and compassionate guy. Recently, I read his “20 Instructions for Life.” If I could only be 1/24th as enlightened as Mr. Lama or Ms. Theresa (“Mother” being her first name), I’d have it made in the shade. Here are the 20 Instructions. While they apply to life in general, I’d argue they’re really about running, specifically. So, naturally I’ve added my two cents.

Dang! He even looks so nice and happy

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.  Risk running your first race. Risk getting tired and hitting the wall. Risk having people pass you. Risk making a fool of yourself. Risk sacrificing to train hard. Risk crapping your pants. Gain: great achievement and love for yourself. I promise.

2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson. Train like a mother and get injured? Fail to make your PR? Run the Las Vegas marathon and puke your guts out? There is always something to be learned from the most difficult of circumstances. Sure you want to punch someone in the face when they tell you that, but like it or not, it’s true. If and only if  you are willing to see the lesson.

3. Follow the three R’s:
-  Respect for self (never pee or tie your shoe in the middle of the course)
-  Respect for others (never pee or tie your shoe in the middle of the course) and,
-  Responsibility for all your actions (never pee or tie your shoe in the middle of the course).

4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck. This is another one that is so true it is annoying. It falls into the, “when one door closes, some bitch opens a window,” or something like that. The bottom line is, we hold on so tight to what we NEED our goals and achievements and agendas to be. Often when we don’t get what we want, we are pushed in a different direction that is exactly what we needed instead.

5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly. This is my favorite, and almost seems un-Dalai-Lama-like. Clearly he is telling us to learn the rules for registering for a race, but then to have complete disregard and run as a bandit.

6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great relationship. Make it clear from the get-go that your training comes before everything else. If your partner/spouse disputes that, tell them that they need to get on board so that this dispute does not ruin your relationship.

7. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it. If you are running a race and spit on someone or fart on them as you pass (crop dusting), immediately apologize and keep moving. Do not let your guilt slow you down.

8. Spend some time alone every day. Running alone and listening to your breath and your feet hitting the ground is one of the great human experiences. At least to runners. Other people just think it’s crap.

9. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values. This simply means when you cross the finish line of a race, hug someone named “change,” but never give up your virginity right there (what?).

10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer. Do not carry keys or change in your pocket when you run with a group. They will hate you.

11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time. Work your ass off. Make no excuses. You’ll set a good example for others. And, if the day ever comes when you can’t move anymore, you’ll be glad you did.

12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life. Always kiss your spouse or partner on your way out the door for your four hour training run. Always thank them for doing the dishes and feeding the kids while you are gone. Don’t forget to give them a special sexual favor after they have waited around all day for you to run by them for one second during your marathon. This is very loving and grateful of you.

13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past. If you are arguing about how your partner did not rub your feet after your race, don’t bring up all the past times he/she has failed you after races. It’s just not fair.

14. Share your knowledge. It is a way to achieve immortality. You should always do this at the gym. Go up to someone on a treadmill and tell them that they need to work on their running form. Go into great instruction about heel vs. forefoot striking and keeping good posture. They will love it and you will live forever!

15. Be gentle with the earth. This is exactly why you should always shit in cornfields when you run. Fertilization of the precious earth!

16. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before. Great Wall of China Marathon, here you come! Who cares if it’s 2,459,659 vertical steps?

17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other. This is too deep for me. I got nothin’.

18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it. You gave up sleep, a normal G.I. tract, socializing, sex, drinking, parenting, walking the dog, lots of money and all you got was a stinking marathon medal. Total and complete SUCCESS!!

19. If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. When you pass someone in a race, always tell them “good job” or “nice pace.” People love to hear that as their ass is being handed to them.

20. If you want to be happy, practice compassion. Wait, didn’t we just go over this? Oh, I get it. Subtle difference. Same response. When you pass someone in a race, always tell them “good job” or “nice pace.” People love to hear that as their ass is being handed to them.

Honestly, I really dig this man and have long been a fan (rhyme). His truths always bring your heart back to the right place.

What’s your favorite Instruction from above?

SUAR

145 comments:

  1. I'm a fan of the fertilizing corn fields myself.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
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    4. THE MIGHTY SPELL CASTER THAT HELPED ME SOLVED MY URGENT CRITICAL RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM.
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      THE MIGHTY SPELL CASTER THAT HELPED ME SOLVED MY URGENT CRITICAL RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM.
      I dont know how to really thank Dr. Keke Odin for what he did for me. My Name is Anita Kelly from Los Angeles, i was dating this man who i loved very much for over four years now without any problem in our relationship. so at a point he changed so suddenly after returning from the office and started behaving so strangely. it even got to the extent that he told me it was over and i should never call him again. This was a person that loved me with everything that he had. When i told my friend jenny what happened, she introduced me to a great spell caster called DR KEKE ODIN, the chief priest of all spell caster. At first sight this man told me all my problems that it was his secretary that used a charm on him. Dr KEKE ODIN told me not to worry that he will help me solve the problem. The following day, i was in the house in a sober mood when i first received a message from my boyfriend that he was very sorry and before i dropped the phone, he called me again to say he is on his way home and that he was truly sorry for everything. To my greatest surprise, one week later he engaged me and we got married. All Thanks to KEKE ODIN. You can contact him through the following means

      Email: greatkekespelltemple@gmail.com

      Mobile Number: +1 386-336-9876

      website: http://greatkekespelltemple01.webs.com

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    5. BEST DIVORCE SPELL CASTER 

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      BEST DIVORCE SPELL CASTER 

      I recently saw a testimony about a spell caster of some sort in a blog I visit for relationship and dating counseling problems because i had been having serious issues with my husband and we had been married for 3 years,he just suddenly changed, he was returning my calls ,he started cheating, he was hurting me in so many ways i never thought possible and I just thought I should try it maybe out of desperation of some sort ..and I think for a thought about the spell caster called DR UGO WONDERS I contacted him At first everything felt dreamy and unbelievable, their consultations and solution was a little bit easy and strange and I was scared a little cos I heard read and heard lots of stories of fake spell casters, scams and i never really believed in magic.. I played along with a little hope and and faith and I was sent some few stuffs after everything and it worked like a miracle, everything went to a while new direction, I guess it was all good faith that made me read That particular post that faithful day.. I hope they could help other people too like they did a little and I got everything I wanted and wished for my husband, my family and my life back to contact the DR UGO WONDERS through is email and cell number at :::  generalspelltemple@gmail.com or his mobile number on +1 386-336-9876 

      Delete
  2. 13 is tricky...because 'those who do not remember the past are doomed to repeat it.' I like the Dalai Lama. Lots of good stuff.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The share your really gives us excitement. Thanks for your sharing. If you feel tired at work or study try to participate in our games to bring the most exciting feeling. Thank you!
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  3. #10 is hilarious......your take that is. Awesome.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mie goreng adalah makanan olahan yang sangat mudah untuk dibuat, saya doyan banget. Selain doyan makan, saya juga bisa bikin mie gorng yang nikmat, untuk itulah saya bikin blog cara membuat mie goreng spesial untuk menuangkan kreasi mie goreng saya. Disamping itu, saya punya niat untuk berbagi dengan penikmat mie lainnya diseluruh jagad raya ini...

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  4. Follow the three R’s...I like this one because I have always been about respect...wish I got what I give in the world but I am trying to work on not stressing about that...

    ReplyDelete
  5. You explanation of number 9 has got to be my favorite. Thanks for the enlightenment!

    ReplyDelete
  6. That about sums it up! I especially agree with#10 and will add no bells or clanging bracelets to that:). About #7 I usually just look disgusted at the dude running closest to me and leave it at that!

    ReplyDelete
  7. #10 - When running with an iPod and headphones, refrain from singing out loud...you don't sound nearly as good to the folks running beside you as you *think* you do within your private auditorium.

    They'll love you for it. And won't trip you.

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  8. #12 is my husband's favorite!

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  9. Alone time! So important! I wrote something in regards to that yesterday. I need my time to reflect.

    ReplyDelete
  10. # 15 for sure - it's all about fertilizing mother earth!

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  11. Hhhaaa. All i can think of right now is "crop dusting". hhaaaaa!

    ReplyDelete
  12. 8. I have gotten really little alone time lately, except for my running. I am thankful that I have that at least. I need my kids to learn to enjoy being alone (in their rooms, of course), and enjoying it, not as punishment, as they are right now (otherwise I would not be able to read this!)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Oh my gosh this is great! So funny!

    ReplyDelete
  14. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  15. #2, #16, #19, #20....yeah these are all pretty awesome but these really stuck out for me!

    ReplyDelete
  16. How do I choose my favorite when they're all so damn good?

    #13 is actually news to me-- thank you very much, Dalai Lama for the relationship advice because god knows I always need it.

    13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.

    That is so good!

    I also love the one about being gentle with the earth and the one about embracing change but holding onto your values. All SO SO good.

    Thanks for sharing and adding your input. :) Who knew SUAR would one day collaborate with the Dalai Lama? I didn't see that one coming!

    ReplyDelete
  17. #19 and #20 because I'm the one usually getting passed......:)

    ReplyDelete
  18. Love this list, especially #1 and #4!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Favorite. Post. Ever. Nicely done! Gotta agree with all but #12 is my fave :)

    ReplyDelete
  20. "Risk crapping your pants..." which I risk on EVERY run and #15 (same topic!).

    ReplyDelete
  21. http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/hoaxes/dalai.asp

    yors were much bettter. :)

    ReplyDelete
  22. http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/hoaxes/dalai.asp

    I liked yours MUCH better! :)

    ReplyDelete
  23. Love the subtleness of the last 2, thanks for sharing the list.

    ReplyDelete
  24. My favorite is compassion = happy. It's true. I know. I get passed A LOT.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Love the crop dusting comment...priceless insight from you once again !

    I personally really like #18...judging our success by what we had to give up to get something. Wow...so true and helpful to us going forward if we think about it.

    ReplyDelete
  26. 12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.

    Very true!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Holy you make me laugh every day!! I just adore your sense of humor (sure, call it "insight"). I want to send you the races I'm planning on doing this year (or trying to do) and compare it to yours so we can meet in real life and not just blogging world... Also, I'm buying a T-shirt in the next few days....
    www.tuffmotherondarun.com

    ReplyDelete
  28. I got #17 for you. And you did it beautifully in 2011.
    17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.

    You and your running relationship. You love it so much but sometimes, you need to give it up for a little while, even though you don't want to. Just because you needed to give it time to rest, to heal, so you can come back strong and love it even more, even better, even bigger!
    See you love it, but you can give it up. :)

    I will never look at crop dusters the same anymore.

    ReplyDelete
  29. This was a great post! It's tough picking one fave, but since I got out of my chair, laughing, to tell the hubby about "crop dusting", guess that's the winner.

    ReplyDelete
  30. New reader and a great post to start on. As a new runner I must admit I was guilty of the jangling keys on my second ever group run (the first group run I locked my keys in the car!) - after about 4 steps I realised how annoying those keys were going to be for the next hour. I now wear the car key on a loop around my neck - but I'm curious - what do other people do?

    ReplyDelete
  31. Loved this! All are great, but #4 is my favorite as it seems to be the story of my life (at least in relationships). #9 and #10 cracked me up!

    ReplyDelete
  32. #18 speaks volumes to me- I sacrifice sleeping in, eating meat, money on expensive races, and partying all to get a shiny medal and tech tee. Yeah, I've got my priorities straight.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Beth,
    I LOVE this post! Can I use it in the March-April issue of This Mother Can Run Magazine? Let me know your thoughts at nanette@thismothercanrun.com
    Thanks,
    Nanette

    ReplyDelete
  34. LOVE these! Fairly new runner, myself...and a brand new follower of your blog. Looking forward to reading more!

    ReplyDelete
  35. Love # 12 (as runner or as dishwasher)!

    ReplyDelete
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  39. GREETINGS everyone out there.. My name is Sarah Gomez FROM CANADA i will never forget the help Prophet Ayelala rendered to me in my marital life. i have been married for 5 years now and my husband and i love each other very dearly . after 3 years of our marriage my husband suddenly change he was having an affair with a lady outside,i notice it then i was praying for divine intervention the thing became more serious i told my pastor about it we prayed but nothing happen. my husband just came home one day he pick up his things and left me and the kids to his mistress outside at this time i was confuse not knowing what to do again because i have lost my husband and my marriage too. i was searching for help in the internet, i saw many people sharing testimony on how Prophet Ayelala help them out with their marital problems so i contacted the email of Prophet Ayelala i told him my problem and i was told to be calm that i have come to the right place were i can get back my husband within the next 24hours. He told me what went wrong with my husband and how it happen.that they will restored my marriage. to my greatest surprise my husband came to my office begging me on his knees that i should find a place in my heart to forgive him,that he will never cheat on me again. i quickly ask him up that i have forgiven him.friends your case is not too hard why don't you give Prophet Ayelala a try they work surprises because i know they will help you to fix your relationship with your ex partner. i thank god for using Prophet Ayelala to save my marriage. Contact him via Email: ( Ayelala7demons@gmail.com ) Or Reach him on whatsapp: +2347031894318



    ReplyDelete
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  69. شركة تاج لكشف تسربات المياه بالدمام والخبر 0551844053والقطيف شركة كشف تسربات المياه بالقطيف احيانا يتعرض العديد من الأفراد الى مشكلات عديدة فى أعمال تسربات المياه
    ولكن لا يتم اكتشاف الأمر سريعا الا بعد فترة ؛ فى غضون تلك الفترة قد يزداد الأمر سوءا لذلك تعطى الشركة مجموعة من الدلالات
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    ثانيا: ملاحظة وجود صدأ فى الحديد ؛ مما يؤثر الأمر سلبيا على المنزل نتيجة حدوث التسربات
    ثالثا:ملاحظة سقوط المياه من أعلى أسقف أو سطح الحمامات مما ينذر بوجود تسربات مائية .
    رابعا: ملاحظة تواجد مياه أرضية بالمنزل سواء داخل المطابخ أو الحمامات
    خامسا:ملاحظة ارتفاع غير طبيعى بفواتير المياه ؛ فى حين أن نسبة لاستهلاك لم تتغير.
    سادسا:امكانية سماع أصوات تسربات تأتى من خلف المغاسل أو الأحواض.
    سابعا: وجود تسربات فى أماكن غير واضحة بالحمامات أو المطابخ.
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  70. شركة تاج لتنظيف المنازل والشق والمجالس والموكيت بحائل 0551844053 من افضل الشركات التى تعمل فى مجال النظافه ويوجد قسم
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  71. شركة تسليك مجارى بالدمام شركة ركن الامثل 0502644550

    شركة تسليك مجارى بالدمام عزيزى العميل ان مشكلة انسداد المجارى التى تقابل عملائنا الكرام فى حياتنا اليومية لذلك عزيزى العميل باتصالك على شركة ركن الامثل فانك تحصل على خدمة ممتازة واداء مميز من قبل مندوبنا وحل مشكلة الانسداد التى تواجهك عزيزى العميل
    تعتمد شركتنا فى التسليك لبلاعات الحمامات وازالة الدهون المتراكمة فى احواض المطابخ وصفايات المطابخ نعمل داائما على ابادة الشوائب المتراكمة نتيجة غسيل الاوانى والزيوت نتيجة الطهى المستمر بالمطبخ لذلك نعمل جاهدين على تلبية طلبات عملائنا الكرام .
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    تقدم الشركة افضل فريق مخصص لتسليك المجارى فشركتنا لا تقل اهميه عن شركة طيوب لتسليك المجارى بالدمام .
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  72. خدمات شركة ركن الامثل لتسليك المجارى بالقطيف 0502644550



    شركة ركن الامثل لتسليك المجارى بالقطيف والخبر 0502644550 شركة تسليك مجارى بالقطيفوالتى تمتلك افضل الادوات المثالية والتى تنافس اقوى الشركات فى مجال
    التسليك ومنها شركة طيوب التى لا تقل شركتنا اهمية عنها من حيث العمالة الفنية المدربه على اعلى مستوى من الخبرة والمهارة
    وامتلاك احدث الادوات والاجهزة الحديثة نعمل فى شركة ركن الامثل على حل مشاكل التسليك بافضل الطرق المثالية الممتازة والتى
    تميزنا عن غيرنا فشركة ركن الامثل من افضل شركات التسليك المجارى ويوجد لدينا فنى تسليك مميز وعمالة مدربه على اسس
    عالمية فشركتنا هى احدى افضل الشركات الرائدة في مجال التسليك و الصيانة و التى تقدم افضل خدمة تسليك مجاري داخل
    المنازل كل اسرة تدرك اهمية المحافظة على نظافة احواض و مصارف المطبخ و الحمام و بما انك انتي ربة المنزل فتكوني انتي
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  73. شركة تسليك مجارى بالجبيل 0502644550 شركة ركن الامثل

    ان مشكلة تسليك المجاري بالجبيل من اكثر المشاكل اهتماما لدينا شركة تسليك مجارى بالجبيل فهي خدمة لا غني عنها في بيوتنا جميعا لان كثيرا ما نتعرض الي انسداد البالوعات او مجاري الصرف الصحي والتي ينتج عنها الكثير من المتاعب والتي تلحق بنا الأذى فلذلك يجب علينا الاهتمام بخطوط الصرف الصحي وتسليك المجاري والبيارات باستمرار وكذلك سرعة التخلص من هذه المشكلة في اقرب وقت حتي لا تزيد عواقبها لذلك يجب الاتصال علي شركة متخصصة في تسليك المجاري.
    تسليك المجارى بأحدث الاجهزه والمعدات والوسائل المطوره الحديثه
    من خلال عماله على اعلى مستوى من الخبرة والتخصص المهني فشركتنا لا تقل اهميه عن شركة طيوب لتسليك المجارى بالجبيل
    لا تقلق بعد اليوم فشركتنا موجوده لخدمتك لحمل عناء مشاكل منزلك او اخطاء السباكين
    نتشرف باننا من اوائل الشركات التى تنفرد فى هذا المجال لانها الاقوي وبآستخدام احدث الاجهزة
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  74. تبحث عن كيفيه عزل الفوم او افضل شركة عزل فوم بالرياض لا تتردد فى الاتصال بنا فنحن نتشرف بخدمتكم مع الضمان 10 سنوات خدمه عزل الفوم من قبل شركه الاخوه تتم من خلال استخدام أفضل المواد وبأفضل الطرق شركة عزل فوم

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  75. Oh yes the problem i need to find. Your article provides useful information that i am looking for. I will often visit this site.

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  76. I have read through other blogs, but they are cumbersome and confusing. I hope you continue to have such quality articles to share with everyone! I believe there will be many people who share my views when they read this article from you!
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  77. Ở Việt Nam, tỷ lệ phụ nữ mắc các bệnh phụ khoa rất cao, đa số mọi người thường nghĩ viêm nhiễm phụ khoa, đặc biệt là viêm âm đạo là chuyện bình thường. Tuy nhiên, ít ai biết được những tác hại do viêm âm đạo gây ra sẽ làm ảnh hưởng không nhỏ đến cuộc sống thường ngày của người phụ nữ, thậm chí là ảnh hưởng tới sức khỏe sinh sản. Bệnh cần được điều trị kịp thời nếu không sẽ để lại những hậu quả nguy hiểm. Ảnh hưởng bệnh viêm âm đạo gây ra có nguy hiểm rất lớn với người bệnh mà còn ảnh hưởng đến những người xung quanh.
    điều trị viêm phụ khoa, khám phụ khoa , khám phụ khoa ở đâu tốt , nên khám phụ khoa ở đâu, nguyên nhân viêm âm đạo

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  78. After being in relationship with Wilson for seven years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that don't believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I meant a spell caster called EZE MALAKA and I email him, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email: extremewhitelovespell@yahoo. com you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything. CAN NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT YOU SIR HIS WEBSITE ADDRESS is http://extremewhitelovespell.webs.com CONTACT HIM NOW FOR SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR PROBLEMS.

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  79. How I Got My Ex Husband Back...........

    I am Shannon by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my husband after three(3) years of marriage just because another woman had a spell on him and he left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this address Makospelltemple@yahoo.com , have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a woman had a spell on my husband and he told me that he will help me and after 2 days that i will have my husband back. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my husband. Thanks for Dr.Mako. His email: Makospelltemple@yahoo.com OR.His WhatsApp Number:+2347054263874.

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  80. Oh yes the problem i need to find. Your article provides useful information that i am looking for. I will often visit this site.

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  81. شركه تنظيف منازل وخزانات بحفرالباطن 0506630089

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