Friday, January 6, 2012

20 Running Instructions

While I don’t know him personally or in the Biblical sense, the Dalai Lama seems like a pretty smart, insightful and compassionate guy. Recently, I read his “20 Instructions for Life.” If I could only be 1/24th as enlightened as Mr. Lama or Ms. Theresa (“Mother” being her first name), I’d have it made in the shade. Here are the 20 Instructions. While they apply to life in general, I’d argue they’re really about running, specifically. So, naturally I’ve added my two cents.

Dang! He even looks so nice and happy

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.  Risk running your first race. Risk getting tired and hitting the wall. Risk having people pass you. Risk making a fool of yourself. Risk sacrificing to train hard. Risk crapping your pants. Gain: great achievement and love for yourself. I promise.

2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson. Train like a mother and get injured? Fail to make your PR? Run the Las Vegas marathon and puke your guts out? There is always something to be learned from the most difficult of circumstances. Sure you want to punch someone in the face when they tell you that, but like it or not, it’s true. If and only if  you are willing to see the lesson.

3. Follow the three R’s:
-  Respect for self (never pee or tie your shoe in the middle of the course)
-  Respect for others (never pee or tie your shoe in the middle of the course) and,
-  Responsibility for all your actions (never pee or tie your shoe in the middle of the course).

4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck. This is another one that is so true it is annoying. It falls into the, “when one door closes, some bitch opens a window,” or something like that. The bottom line is, we hold on so tight to what we NEED our goals and achievements and agendas to be. Often when we don’t get what we want, we are pushed in a different direction that is exactly what we needed instead.

5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly. This is my favorite, and almost seems un-Dalai-Lama-like. Clearly he is telling us to learn the rules for registering for a race, but then to have complete disregard and run as a bandit.

6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great relationship. Make it clear from the get-go that your training comes before everything else. If your partner/spouse disputes that, tell them that they need to get on board so that this dispute does not ruin your relationship.

7. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it. If you are running a race and spit on someone or fart on them as you pass (crop dusting), immediately apologize and keep moving. Do not let your guilt slow you down.

8. Spend some time alone every day. Running alone and listening to your breath and your feet hitting the ground is one of the great human experiences. At least to runners. Other people just think it’s crap.

9. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values. This simply means when you cross the finish line of a race, hug someone named “change,” but never give up your virginity right there (what?).

10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer. Do not carry keys or change in your pocket when you run with a group. They will hate you.

11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time. Work your ass off. Make no excuses. You’ll set a good example for others. And, if the day ever comes when you can’t move anymore, you’ll be glad you did.

12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life. Always kiss your spouse or partner on your way out the door for your four hour training run. Always thank them for doing the dishes and feeding the kids while you are gone. Don’t forget to give them a special sexual favor after they have waited around all day for you to run by them for one second during your marathon. This is very loving and grateful of you.

13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past. If you are arguing about how your partner did not rub your feet after your race, don’t bring up all the past times he/she has failed you after races. It’s just not fair.

14. Share your knowledge. It is a way to achieve immortality. You should always do this at the gym. Go up to someone on a treadmill and tell them that they need to work on their running form. Go into great instruction about heel vs. forefoot striking and keeping good posture. They will love it and you will live forever!

15. Be gentle with the earth. This is exactly why you should always shit in cornfields when you run. Fertilization of the precious earth!

16. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before. Great Wall of China Marathon, here you come! Who cares if it’s 2,459,659 vertical steps?

17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other. This is too deep for me. I got nothin’.

18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it. You gave up sleep, a normal G.I. tract, socializing, sex, drinking, parenting, walking the dog, lots of money and all you got was a stinking marathon medal. Total and complete SUCCESS!!

19. If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. When you pass someone in a race, always tell them “good job” or “nice pace.” People love to hear that as their ass is being handed to them.

20. If you want to be happy, practice compassion. Wait, didn’t we just go over this? Oh, I get it. Subtle difference. Same response. When you pass someone in a race, always tell them “good job” or “nice pace.” People love to hear that as their ass is being handed to them.

Honestly, I really dig this man and have long been a fan (rhyme). His truths always bring your heart back to the right place.

What’s your favorite Instruction from above?

SUAR

90 comments:

  1. I'm a fan of the fertilizing corn fields myself.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. GREETINGS everyone out there.. My name is Sarah Gomez FROM CANADA i will never forget the help Prophet Ayelala rendered to me in my marital life. i have been married for 5 years now and my husband and i love each other very dearly . after 3 years of our marriage my husband suddenly change he was having an affair with a lady outside,i notice it then i was praying for divine intervention the thing became more serious i told my pastor about it we prayed but nothing happen. my husband just came home one day he pick up his things and left me and the kids to his mistress outside at this time i was confuse not knowing what to do again because i have lost my husband and my marriage too. i was searching for help in the internet, i saw many people sharing testimony on how Prophet Ayelala help them out with their marital problems so i contacted the email of Prophet Ayelala i told him my problem and i was told to be calm that i have come to the right place were i can get back my husband within the next 24hours. He told me what went wrong with my husband and how it happen.that they will restored my marriage. to my greatest surprise my husband came to my office begging me on his knees that i should find a place in my heart to forgive him,that he will never cheat on me again. i quickly ask him up that i have forgiven him.friends your case is not too hard why don't you give Prophet Ayelala a try they work surprises because i know they will help you to fix your relationship with your ex partner. i thank god for using Prophet Ayelala to save my marriage. Contact him via Email: ( Ayelala7demons@gmail.com ) Or Reach him on whatsapp: +2347031894318




      Delete
  2. 13 is tricky...because 'those who do not remember the past are doomed to repeat it.' I like the Dalai Lama. Lots of good stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  3. #10 is hilarious......your take that is. Awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Follow the three R’s...I like this one because I have always been about respect...wish I got what I give in the world but I am trying to work on not stressing about that...

    ReplyDelete
  5. You explanation of number 9 has got to be my favorite. Thanks for the enlightenment!

    ReplyDelete
  6. That about sums it up! I especially agree with#10 and will add no bells or clanging bracelets to that:). About #7 I usually just look disgusted at the dude running closest to me and leave it at that!

    ReplyDelete
  7. #10 - When running with an iPod and headphones, refrain from singing out loud...you don't sound nearly as good to the folks running beside you as you *think* you do within your private auditorium.

    They'll love you for it. And won't trip you.

    ReplyDelete
  8. #12 is my husband's favorite!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Alone time! So important! I wrote something in regards to that yesterday. I need my time to reflect.

    ReplyDelete
  10. # 15 for sure - it's all about fertilizing mother earth!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hhhaaa. All i can think of right now is "crop dusting". hhaaaaa!

    ReplyDelete
  12. 8. I have gotten really little alone time lately, except for my running. I am thankful that I have that at least. I need my kids to learn to enjoy being alone (in their rooms, of course), and enjoying it, not as punishment, as they are right now (otherwise I would not be able to read this!)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Oh my gosh this is great! So funny!

    ReplyDelete
  14. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  15. #2, #16, #19, #20....yeah these are all pretty awesome but these really stuck out for me!

    ReplyDelete
  16. How do I choose my favorite when they're all so damn good?

    #13 is actually news to me-- thank you very much, Dalai Lama for the relationship advice because god knows I always need it.

    13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.

    That is so good!

    I also love the one about being gentle with the earth and the one about embracing change but holding onto your values. All SO SO good.

    Thanks for sharing and adding your input. :) Who knew SUAR would one day collaborate with the Dalai Lama? I didn't see that one coming!

    ReplyDelete
  17. #19 and #20 because I'm the one usually getting passed......:)

    ReplyDelete
  18. Love this list, especially #1 and #4!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Favorite. Post. Ever. Nicely done! Gotta agree with all but #12 is my fave :)

    ReplyDelete
  20. "Risk crapping your pants..." which I risk on EVERY run and #15 (same topic!).

    ReplyDelete
  21. http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/hoaxes/dalai.asp

    yors were much bettter. :)

    ReplyDelete
  22. http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/hoaxes/dalai.asp

    I liked yours MUCH better! :)

    ReplyDelete
  23. Love the subtleness of the last 2, thanks for sharing the list.

    ReplyDelete
  24. My favorite is compassion = happy. It's true. I know. I get passed A LOT.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Love the crop dusting comment...priceless insight from you once again !

    I personally really like #18...judging our success by what we had to give up to get something. Wow...so true and helpful to us going forward if we think about it.

    ReplyDelete
  26. 12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.

    Very true!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Holy you make me laugh every day!! I just adore your sense of humor (sure, call it "insight"). I want to send you the races I'm planning on doing this year (or trying to do) and compare it to yours so we can meet in real life and not just blogging world... Also, I'm buying a T-shirt in the next few days....
    www.tuffmotherondarun.com

    ReplyDelete
  28. I got #17 for you. And you did it beautifully in 2011.
    17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.

    You and your running relationship. You love it so much but sometimes, you need to give it up for a little while, even though you don't want to. Just because you needed to give it time to rest, to heal, so you can come back strong and love it even more, even better, even bigger!
    See you love it, but you can give it up. :)

    I will never look at crop dusters the same anymore.

    ReplyDelete
  29. This was a great post! It's tough picking one fave, but since I got out of my chair, laughing, to tell the hubby about "crop dusting", guess that's the winner.

    ReplyDelete
  30. New reader and a great post to start on. As a new runner I must admit I was guilty of the jangling keys on my second ever group run (the first group run I locked my keys in the car!) - after about 4 steps I realised how annoying those keys were going to be for the next hour. I now wear the car key on a loop around my neck - but I'm curious - what do other people do?

    ReplyDelete
  31. Loved this! All are great, but #4 is my favorite as it seems to be the story of my life (at least in relationships). #9 and #10 cracked me up!

    ReplyDelete
  32. #18 speaks volumes to me- I sacrifice sleeping in, eating meat, money on expensive races, and partying all to get a shiny medal and tech tee. Yeah, I've got my priorities straight.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Beth,
    I LOVE this post! Can I use it in the March-April issue of This Mother Can Run Magazine? Let me know your thoughts at nanette@thismothercanrun.com
    Thanks,
    Nanette

    ReplyDelete
  34. LOVE these! Fairly new runner, myself...and a brand new follower of your blog. Looking forward to reading more!

    ReplyDelete
  35. Love # 12 (as runner or as dishwasher)!

    ReplyDelete
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  39. GREETINGS everyone out there.. My name is Sarah Gomez FROM CANADA i will never forget the help Prophet Ayelala rendered to me in my marital life. i have been married for 5 years now and my husband and i love each other very dearly . after 3 years of our marriage my husband suddenly change he was having an affair with a lady outside,i notice it then i was praying for divine intervention the thing became more serious i told my pastor about it we prayed but nothing happen. my husband just came home one day he pick up his things and left me and the kids to his mistress outside at this time i was confuse not knowing what to do again because i have lost my husband and my marriage too. i was searching for help in the internet, i saw many people sharing testimony on how Prophet Ayelala help them out with their marital problems so i contacted the email of Prophet Ayelala i told him my problem and i was told to be calm that i have come to the right place were i can get back my husband within the next 24hours. He told me what went wrong with my husband and how it happen.that they will restored my marriage. to my greatest surprise my husband came to my office begging me on his knees that i should find a place in my heart to forgive him,that he will never cheat on me again. i quickly ask him up that i have forgiven him.friends your case is not too hard why don't you give Prophet Ayelala a try they work surprises because i know they will help you to fix your relationship with your ex partner. i thank god for using Prophet Ayelala to save my marriage. Contact him via Email: ( Ayelala7demons@gmail.com ) Or Reach him on whatsapp: +2347031894318



    ReplyDelete
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  52. عزيزى العميل اهلا ومرحبا بك فى موقع مؤسسة الحرمــين للمقاولات العامة شركة عزل اسطح وخزانات بالاحساء و الرياض
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    شركة غسيل خزانات بالمدينة المنورة
    لاعمال غسيل خزانات فان الخزانات من الاشياء المتعلقه بالصحه العامه فلا تقلق على صحتك وصحة افراد اسرتك على الاطلاق. غسيل خزانات بالمدينة المنورة تعتمد على اقوى طاقم عمل مدرب على اعلى مستوى للقيام باعمال التنظيف
    غسيل خزانات بالمدينة المنورة
    بالاعتماد على مواد فعالة مخصصه فى اعمال التنظيف فلا تقلق بشان غسيل خزانات بالمدينه المنوره على الاطلاق كل ذلك فى مقابل اقل الاسعار المتواجده فى الاسواق. غسيل خزانات مع العزل والتعقيم على اتم استعداد للوصول الى اى مكان بالمدينة المنورة
    غسيل خزانات بالمدينه المنوره
    فلا تقلق ولا تتردد فى الاتصال بنا على الاطلاق.

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  54. Excited my life is back My husband and I have been together for almost 11 years in October. The way we met wasn’t the best way since we both had relationships. We ended our relationships to be together (or so I thought we BOTH did). As soon as I ended up pregnant with our first baby, I find out he was cheating with his EX! My world went upside down. It was very hard for me since I was pregnant and hurt. Over the years I just kept forgiving him over and over again of not only multiple affairs, but of his accusations of me being unfaithful and disrespecting me. We now have 3 kids and I just completely felt neglected and felt low of myself. I had my own affair… It has not been easy for BOTH of us to overcome. Somehow over the last few weeks we have been working together to move on. We are now moving out of state. I love my husband and I am positive he loves me. I am going to try and show him this approach. Somehow we were already doing it! We have a better communication than we’ve had in years! We are learning how to speak calmly out feelings and concerns. It hasn’t been peachy, but I can see that we both are starting to respect eachother. We care for each other’s feelings. We have US a main priority. We aren’t taking counseling, but somehow we see that little by little we seem more comfortable with eachother. Sometimes we may notice how good it is going and may step back, but helping eachother out by holding and saying it’s ok to be happy again. I love my family. and my husband and i need to keep my marriage save with him from other women so i have to seek for a love spell to keep our marriage stronger so i contacted Dr happy who help me to keep my marriage save and secure from other women am very happy today coz my husband love me more and more like ever before, we are living as one big family again bless Dr happy for what he did to me and my husband if you need help contact him too he is real and 100% guarantee ok so email him at : happylovespell2@gmail.com call +2348133873774 about his service and web site: http://happyspelltemple.webs.com/

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