Thursday, February 11, 2016

Are Runners Just Show-Offs With Huge Egos?

I'm still on hiatus from running. There has been a lot of this:



Only the pool never looks like that. It is full of people and I am sharing a lane with all kinds of bastards. NO diving! I want to dive in 3' water!

I am also doing this:



My bike and I do have a love affair and I have missed her (him?). Although there is snow on the ground, the air was pretty warm.

Onto other stuff:

Someone told me recently (a non runner BTW) that he thought people who ran in very cold temperatures do so because of their egos. Like to show off almost. He said that running in cold temps is not good for the body. Hurts the lungs.

Kind rubbed me the wrong way. I have to admit that when I go out in ten degree temperatures, the last thing I am thinking is, "Wow everyone is looking at me and thinking how bad ass I am!"

I am more thinking, "My ass is freezing (assicle)," "The snow is pretty", "I'm glad I got out for some fresh air and exercise," and "I have to poop" <this has nothing to do with the cold air, and more to do with the fact this happens to me on every run. Maybe I am trying to show off with my turds.

Anyway, here's some other things we runners get accused of and questioned about (mostly and entirely by non-runners)...and what my responses to them just might be.


1. Do you think you have an addiction to running? It seems a bit excessive.

The Runner: Running actually gives me energy. I feel like I need less sleep when I run regularly. If you call running consistently “having an addiction,” then yes, maybe I do. I suppose it is better than being addicted to the vending machine and vodka bottle like you seem to be.

2. Are you really eating that quinoa stuff again with all those veggies? There’s no way that tastes as good as this Big Mac.

The Runner: Not only does it taste better than your processed fake meat sandwich with mystery sauce, but it gives me the perfect blend of protein, fiber and essential vitamins.

vs.

3. It’s Friday! We’re all heading to happy hour. What? You have a long run in the morning, so you’re going to go home and get to bed early? Why aren’t you any fun anymore?

The Runner: I guess our definitions of “fun” are different. To each his own. Enjoy those empty calories and that morning hangover! (although, admittedly, I do partake nights before a long run...sometimes).






4. Are you really going to the bathroom again? I think this is the fifth time today you’ve gone. It’s because you drink all that water.

The Runner: Damn! Are you the urination monitor? Let me answer your question with a question. What color is your pee? I am betting it is dark yellow since you don’t seem to drink enough water and only pee once or twice a day. My urine, on the other hand, resembles lemonade, which means I am perfectly hydrated.



5. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you wear the same pair of running shoes. Do you have like 100 pairs? Why does anyone need more than one pair of running shoes?

The Runner: Buying running shoes and taking care of my feet is a priority for me. Why does anyone need 14 pairs of pumps or six pairs of Uggs? You spend your paycheck where you want, and I’ll do the same.



6. You have the most bizarre tan lines.

The Runner: Why, thank you. I appreciate that you are taking the time to monitor and observe my skin tones.



7. What the hell happened to your feet? They look like you got in a fight with a lawnmower. Don’t even tell me that’s from all the running you do.

The Runner: Having calluses, blisters and black toenails can be a side effect of running.  If it disturbs you so much, keep your eyes up here (dramatically points to his/her eyes).

8. Why do you run so much? It’s not like you need to lose any more weight.

The Runner: While it’s true running burns tons of calories, that’s not the only reason I do it. Running actually helps me to cope with annoying people who ask me a lot of questions.

And the most often asked question/statement about running

9. You know running is bad for your knees. Just wait until you are 60. You are going to be hobbling around and miserable.

The Runner: You did not just say that. Fitness myth!! There has never been a study showing running is bad for the knees or contributes to arthritis. As you get older, however, arthritis can set in. Is it running's fault? Doesn't appear that way. Bottom line, if your knees were healthy when you started running, running will not ruin them. (sources HERE, HERE, HERE).



So...any other questions/statements you get from people about your running lifestyle? 



SUAR