What You Got Under That Pink Dress?

Today I got my skirt chased. In fact, I got “dicked” (opposite of “chicked”) by somewhere around 15 guys although it was 90 degrees and I was so hot and parched I didn’t give a crap. The guys started 3 minutes after the girls, so getting dicked that many times doesn’t make me look or feel very good (TWSS).

Kathy and me. Love that shirt!

Seriously. The Skirt Chaser 5K started at 3:00 p.m. and cry me a river, but I struggled in the heat. I finished in 22 and something minutes, but by my watch it was only just shy of 3 miles.

The real fun came when the beer started flowing and “That 80s Band” took the stage. This was actually the band that played at my 40th birthday party. We 44 year olds know how to bust a move to the oldies like “I Like Big Butts” and “Pour Some Sugar on Me.” I even did a front handspring and I’m not kidding. I have witnesses. I might feel that one in the morning.

Here is a friend I found to dance with:

I even have the cute white-woman-overbite we get when we’re really concentrating:

Emma hanging with the lead singer, who she wants to be when she grows up:

I loved introducing myself to this guy:

He may look like just another pretty face in a dress, but he is Will Kelsay pro triathlete for Timex. He mostly specializes in Xterra Triathlons and he is as nice as they come. Plus, his hourglass figure and that special something hiding under his dress really turned us all on. Will, if you are reading like you promised, nice to meet ‘cha.

I also snuggled up to this hunk of love, although he scared me a little. He might be Richard Simmon’s brother.  I think my son, Sam, is scarred for life. Although he did ask if this could be his new FB profile picture.

I will say that Skirt Sports did an amazing job with this race. They have found the perfect way to combine running with looking good and having fun. And a bonus: running through the Bronco’s stadium at the end was a blast!

Next up, Denver Rock ‘n Roll Half next weekend with Team Marathon Bar. Can’t wait.

Did you race this weekend?

Do you ever wear costumes when you run? I have yet to do this myself.

SUAR

Catch Me If You Can! Skirt Chaser 5K

Last year I was the volunteer coordinator for the Skirt Chaser 5K in Denver. This year I am one of the race ambassadors, so I am trying to get the word out about this fun event. If you will be in and/or around Denver on Saturday, October 1st, about 3:00 pm, consider running and block partying with us at Invesco Field (where the Broncos play-name has recently been changed to the Sports Authority Field).

Why you should do it:

• Ladies start first - 3 minutes ahead of the men! Can the testosterone catch the estrogen?
• Singles are encouraged to wear a sticker to signify their "availability." Stickers are distributed in the expo before the race start. Maybe you will meet your future spouse on October 1. Or at least have a fun hook up.
• The post-race Block Party includes live music, great food, free beer and stage entertainment.  Did someone say beer?
• Race entry ($55) includes:
  • Kick Start Skirt by Skirt Sports (retails for $59.99)
  • Skirt Sports Backpack-style Sling Bag
  • Skirt Chaser 5k Race Entry
  • Block Party Entry - Live Music, 2 Drink Tickets, Free Food, and Post-Race Entertainment

(Note: there is also a skirtless option for $35, but you get all the other goodies)

Here is the Skirt Sports skirt you get with entry:

Cute built-in pink boy shorts underneath:

Keep in mind, this is not just a race, it’s a weekend social event!! I can attest to the fact that last year this was a blast. A rockin’ band played and the beer flowed (you may remember this video that I’m not so proud of, I never said I had rhythm).

Sign up online HERE.

Come join me! I’m pretty fun to be around when I am doing some of my favorite things, running, drinking beer and being chased by men.

Are you in???

SUAR

PS: My Yellowman running shirt giveaway goes on until Friday, so go enter HERE!

Slow Dancing with Girls

I am the queen of odd jobs: blackjack dealer, 7-11 cashier, French language translator, dishwasher in the college dining hall, caterer (that was so short lived I barely remember it except for a few failed cakes). If you want to sound nice, you can call me well rounded or a Jacquelyn of all Trades. If you don’t want to be nice, call me non-committal and indecisive. 

I’ll be honest in stating I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up (since elite running is out). After getting my MSW 15 years ago I started doing adoption/foster care work for social services, and that’s where I sit today. People always say, if you could do anything what would be your dream?  ‘Cause if you know that, then you will magically know where to direct your desires and energy and it will all come together.

I want to be on Dancing with the Stars (DWTS). I want someone to teach me how to dance for real, not just that white woman hip shifting I do at weddings. I want to have a fake tan that’s even and wear those skimpy dresses. I want to dance the tango with someone hunky, even if they get an erection. That’s what I want.

Speaking of erections, when middle school girls say they have it so much harder than boys, what with periods and breasts and mood swings, I always want to shake them and say, “But what about those unwanted hard-ons that boys have when they’re slow dancing with girls?!!” That’s got to suck. Does it, boys? (Don’t even get me started on wet dreams).

Probably DWTS is not in my near future. Maybe they will have a blogger edition and I will get picked. Along with Running Man Wannabe and one of those really fit girls with a food blog. What a great mix we would make. I will, of course, have to sign a legal contract promising I will not crap on the dance floor or in a judge’s lap. I for sure will do a better job than the ‘Hoff.

What do YOU want to be when you grow up?

This weekend I am entering the realm of another “job not related to my field.” I was asked by SkirtSports, inventors of the running skirt and makers of all types of sassy and practical running, cycling and triathlon wear, to represent them at an open house. I’ll be going to Genessee Mountain Fitness (in the foothills west of Denver) to sell/show clothing and talk about the mission of the company. I will get paid in clothing. Specifically, this clothing (don’t worry, no weight on the left leg/bad hip. Crutches are nearby):       

I really dig these skirts with the capri tights underneath (all one piece).

Being paid in clothes is good. That just takes out the middle man step of getting paid in money then going and spending it on clothes. This stuff is not cheap.

I also got this – the marathon girl ultra skirt:

Wait, not ready yet:

  

That’s better:

I think this outfit will go very well with crutches. I will assure everyone that the clothing did not cause me to get the crutches. I did that all on my own.

I will wear this clothing all day, everyday, even though I can’t run. I will wear it so that I can look like a runner even if I can’t be one right now. I will wear it until it has pit stains and dandruff and mustard marks. I will do this in honor of running.

It’s time for happy hour,

SUAR

Who’s Got the Cat’s Balls?

Today is the day I’ve designated to run my ass around Boulder leaving fliers for my Skirt Chaser 5K race in every possible running, multisport, tri store and fitness center. Fortunately, Boulder is full of crazy athletic people so there are ten million of these stores in the area.

 

I call it “my” race, which is not true. It is not my race at all. I only take ownership of it because it is my first race as a logistical coordinator. Plus, I’m actually getting paid to coordinate the race. I know, right?. Pretty sweet.

I am waiting for Sam to wake up so I can buy him a coffee and bribe him to help me.  He is only 12, but he sleeps like a hung-over frat boy. For God’s sake it’s 10:01 a.m. and he’s still asleep. Time to check his breathing.

Speaking of Sam, yesterday we were talking about a camp he went to last summer at the local humane society. They got to watch a cat get neutered. I asked Sam if it was gross and he said, “No, but I got to hold the cat’s balls.” Seriously? They let kids hold cat nuts? Who knew. When I was his age I’d be lucky to get a lollipop at my paper doll camp. What ever happened to paper dolls anyway? Ever play with those? By the way, he said they were squishy.

Back to the race. If you have any desire to volunteer, please let me know (brisdon@comcast.net). You’ll get a nifty black running skirt from Skirt Sports (or a t-shirt if you’re a dude), you’ll get to meet me in all of my farting glory (I promise to leave those at home that day), and you’ll get free beer and food. It’s an evening race (5pm) on August 28 in Denver (Cherry Creek). Or, come out and run it!!!

Geez, 10:05. That kid’s got to get up. I KNOW! Last night Sam hid behind a chair in our room when Ken was changing. He then set off one of those party poppers to scare him. He came downstairs sheepishly saying, “That made dad really mad. He said the “f” word and the “s”  word.” Think I know how I’ll wake him up. Hope he doesn’t poop the bed.

SCORE!!! I just made it to 600 followers. So it seems that 600 of you like to follow potty talk. Just so you know.

Don’t forget my Champion shirt giveaway!