Giveaway Winner & Vacation Memories

The winner of the Scape Sunblock giveaway was #121 Patti L! Congrats, Patti. Email me at brisdon@comcast.net with your address and I’ll send it right out to you!

Now onto the good stuff. I am so glad to be out of the traveling turd RV. Don’t get me wrong. I love my family. But, I could have been in that RV with Jesus and would have gotten sick of him. If my children are close enough to me at night that I can throw a shoe and hit them, it’s too tight of quarters.

25 feet gets really small really fast 

We did make lots of memories, however.

Number of times I walked across this suspension bridge at the Royal Gorge: 1

 

Number of times I looked down between the slats at the river 1,200 ft. below wondering if that day was the day the bridge would finally collapse: 49

Number of times Ken ran into a tree and took off the passenger side mirror: 1

Number of dollars to fix the mirror: $600

Number of times I crapped in the RV: 3

Number of times we emptied the sewage and felt the warm contents moving through the hose (at least I have my Life is Good shirt on. Oh, the irony): 4

Number of miles I ran: 12

Number of mountain passes I drove over in the traveling turd (guardrails optional): 3

Number of times I threatened to put my nine year old in a time out in a camping chair with no food or water or books: 1

Number of times I actually did it: 0

Number of bottles of wine I drank: 2

Number of times I counted my blessings: 5,234

Some of my clearest and most fond memories growing up involve family vacations. My parents loved to rough it. Once we did a cross country road trip from Maryland to Montana for a month and slept in a tent the whole way. That was the trip my sleeping bag caught on fire with me in it. 

I have found that the best memories are not made when everything is perfect. They are created when things don’t go quite right, when there is some challenge involved, when we move outside of our comfort zone. Our senses hold on to those experiences with an intensity that lasts throughout the decades.

Two weeks ago a friend’s mom found out she had cancer. She died this morning. I am reminded about the brevity and preciousness of life. I am reminded to hold on and to make it a wild and memorable ride. I am reminded to never let fear stop me from doing anything. And mostly I am reminded to love.

What’s your favorite/funniest childhood vacation memory?

Pictures from the Promised Land

Running tip: Today’s run may have been worse than the last one. Don't get too depressed, it is only normal to feel sore and fatigued once in a while.

Since I contaminated myself yesterday by showing you the gross shots of my swollen mug shot face, allow me to somewhat redeem myself. You may not know me personally, and while I’m no hottie, I do look better than Nick Nolte on most days:

For instance, here is my back view, with an almost-crack shot. I should have been a plumber. If you look really hard you can see the “Target” brand tag:

Yup. Lovers of 15 years on the beach. GET A ROOM, the kids shouted. 8am? Never too early for a beer.

These are my offspring. That’s right. I have the same sized chest as my 8 year old:

Here I am trying to sea kayak with Emma. We are only 10 feet from the shore.

Here is the view from our suite. Seriously??? No one should have to live this way:

Here I am trying to pretend I am 18. Who am I kidding. You can’t put a bikini on from Target and braids in your hair and think you’re on high school spring break again. Where’s the beer bong? Who’s got the birth control? I hope I don’t get VD or crabs on this trip.

Here is what I ate a lot of. Shrimps with tentacles and eyes. Probably even a testicle in there.

And, here was the breakfast I had every morning. Fresh Mexican pastries (without any e-coli I hope) and good coffee. The perfect pre-dump meal:

I found that a few crepes at lunch made me pretty happy:

Maybe I did, or maybe I didn’t put some guac on the crepes. Or maybe this came from the bathroom (ewww..)

My running spot in the morning:

Chlorophyll water at the gym. WTF? Chlorophyll water = swollen face?

Coming home from vacation with a swollen face and sitting on your stairs sucks:

And there you have it. Spring break, 2010. Rock on.

Drinking: H20

I'm All Swollen

Running tip: Don’t neglect and irritate your family and friends by spending all your time running and talking about running. You love running and everyone knows it. However, not everyone wants to hear about what pace you kept over ten miles. The good news is, your running friends and blogger friends eat that shit up. So save it for them.


Home safe and sound, but barely. Our annual Mexico family vacation ended up on an interesting note for two reasons.

1. Right before leaving for the airport, we were having lunch at the resort. Ken told me that my face looked a bit swollen around the eyes. A few minutes later he told me that I was "starting to look different," and he was worried. To understand the impact of his comment, you need to know Ken. He worries about nothing (except maybe his March Madness bracket). Even when I was in labor and screaming, shitting and cussing, he was cool as a cucumber. So for him to even admit any kind of worry is in and of itself alarming. I looked in the mirror and sure enough my face was swollen and getting more so by the second. I took a Zyrtec and we left for the airport. By the time I got up this morning, I looked like this - swollen face shot, can also be called my "mug shot":

As compared to the "real" me:

Seriously. I could be Nick Nolte (remember this?):

A trip to the doc first thing this morning confirmed that I am, indeed, allergic to Mexico. Bummer, because I really like it there. The doc, in fact, had no clue what caused the reaction: the sun, the mango yogurt from that morning, who knows. I headed to Target to get an Rx of Prednisone filled (hey, cool, a steroid. Maybe this will help my running and make me really bulky). I kept on my sunglasses in the store.

Whenever I see people wearing sunglasses inside I always thing that 1) they think they are really cool, 2) they are incredibly hungover, or 3) they forgot they had them on. Now I realize that maybe those people had an allergic reaction on a vacation and are picking up a prescription. Kind of a bummer to be all ballooned up, but I think I prefer the swollen face to diarrhea, which I did not get on this trip.

Here's the second welcome home incident:

2. You know it's going to be a rough ride on the airplane when the captain/pilot comes on and says, "It's going to be a rough ride for the duration of the flight. Return to your seats NOW." You really know it's going to be a rough ride when the flight attendants prepare the cabin for landing when you are still at 32,000 feet because they need to strap in (don't they usually do this like 2 seconds before the wheels hit the ground?). You know it's going to be a white knuckle, stomach churning, really, really rough ride when the flight attendants say, "Buckle in your children really tight. If you start to feel airsick, take off your sweater and keep as cool as possible." Seriously. Does the captain not know I have a vomit phobia? The only thing than having a vomit phobia is being trapped in a seat belt at 30,000 feet with the potential of vomit occurring around me. Did I mention I hate to fly? I do it fairly frequently, but I hate it. It scares me to death. I even hate those itty bitty bits of turbulence that no one else seems to feel or notice.

So, when the rough patch hit, and it HIT, I thought I was going to die. Literally. At about 25,000 feet the plane was being tossed around in the air. Everyone did several collective gasps/screams. Several people got sick. My seat belt was digging into my middle where it was holding me. It only went on a for a few minutes, but it was seriously awful. The only thing that saved me was that I was distracted by having to take care of Sam, who is 12, and help him to feel less afraid. I found myself saying things like, "Oh, we'll be fine (oh my god, we're going to die!). It's not dangerous, just uncomfortable (Bullshit! We're going down. I love you son, I love all of you!). We only have 10,000 feet more to go 'til the ground" (10 mother eff'ing feet! We'll never make it).

If you are wondering how I know how high we were it's because Frontier has maps at every seat showing where you are and at what elevation. I'm not some cartographer or whatever. I don't even know what that means. Here's one from this trip as we approached Cancun:

Of course, we made it safely. I was never so glad to touch down. They should have handed out mints or something when we got off to celebrate being alive. There were some pretty crazy winds south of Denver yesterday (70 mph), so that was the culprit.

I've got tons of pictures coming to share with you, so check back.

I've also got an upcoming giveaway/contest that is INSANE. You seriously will not want to miss this one.

Have you ever had a harrowing or extremely uncomfortable experience on an airplane? Do tell.


Drinking: Nothing. Too swollen.

From Mexico

Running tip: Just run and stop making excuses (don't mind me, I'm a bit drunk and that's all I have to offer).

Oh, excuse me while I take a break to sip my margarita and admire my bronzed arms and legs.

It has been a day of paradise in Mexico - I got up early before the rest of my lazy family. 6am is a good wake up time on vacation, right? I headed for a short walk on the beach before finding some coffee. By 7:30am I was in the fitness center and glad that I had remembered to translate miles into kms for the treadmill. I did 10K at 11.1 kms/hour (8:40 pace) and I about died. Between the fact that they keep that place hot, I was slightly hungover (let's count what I drank yesterday - glass of wine on the plane, glass of champagne while we checked in, cerveza or two when we got to the room, glass of wine with dinner, glass of wine after dinner = way too many drinks for me).

I'm sure the run did me good to flush the toxins, but it kind of sucked. No bathroom issues until I finished. Major cramping on the beach, and I was pleasantly surprised to find out it was only a matter of farting a couple of times and I was good to go. The fitness center has water and chlorophyll water, something I've never heard of. It looks like water with algae. I tried some. Maybe that's why I had the cramps. After the run, we headed for a buffet breakfast. My plan of action at the buffet is to get one of everything and take a bite of each thing. So my plate was covered in fancy fruit, waffles, runny eggs, sausage links, fresh pastries, you name it. Repeat this at lunch. More cramping.

We did some sea kayaking, took a bike tour into the small town of Puerto Moreles, and did lots of laying around on the beach. No Montezuma's revenge. Yet. But, the night is still young.

I have tons of great pictures to share with you upon our return to CO.

Drinking: tequila, what else?

Mexico Prep

Running tip: Protect your toes by using Body Glide or Vaseline. Those nubs do need some love and attention, especially on long runs.

Today I went to get a pedicure, since Mexico is right around the corner (2 days). Don’t hate. My feet have pretty much not seen the light of day since September. They are gnarly. Huge blister atop a huge bunion. Missing big toenail on my right foot. The toenail actually fell off a couple weeks ago and now there is just this pool of blood remaining under a new nail is trying to grow in. Hell, I am paying just as much as the next guy for a pedicure and I’m not going to be ashamed of how gross my feet are. In fact, I work hard to get these feet looking this bad.

So, I'm at the nail salon, in the throne chair, soaking my feet and reading Glamour. This sweet Asian woman was working on my feet. She didn’t speak much English. She took my right foot out of the sudsy tub to remove my nail polish. Only I didn’t have on any nail polish. She was scrubbing and scrubbing the place on my big toe where the blood is stuck under the nail. Apparently she thought it was purple nail polish (probably OPI’s Purple with a Purpose). I kept trying to tell her that it was a bruise and not to worry about it. But, being the hard worker she was, she kept on with the cotton ball and the nail polish remover. She was working that thing. Finally, she looked up at me and said, “This no paint?” I said, “No, it’s not going to come off.” She gave it one last try, as if it was her personal mission to remove this stubborn purple polish. I bet if she had surgical equipment she would have found a way to remove the old blood. Eventually, she gave up. I give her credit. I could tell giving up was not easy. But she did it.

Today I put in 15 miles (9:20 avg). That means I have run 45 miles in the past six days. I know some of you animals run 90+ miles a week, but I don’t. In fact this might be a PR for me. I knew I had to get in my long run today since come Sunday I will be lazing my ass under a palapa, passed out, with a tequila spiked umbrella drink glued to my hand and a smile on my face. For effect, this is the exact beach and palapa where I can be found. Don't hate again.

Being only 7 weeks out from the marathon, I can’t totally slack on this vacation, however. What sucks is I will have to run in this fitness room with this view. Yes that is the Caribbean right there:

Here's outside view of la gym. (Or should I say El gym. I was a French major not Spanish):

Running on a treadmill will be much safer for me than being outside. I plan on ingesting loads of beans, cheese and alcohol, so the inevitable Shut Up and Run poop will surely poke its ugly head out at some point during the run. Much easier to pause the treadmill and mosey on over to the toilet than to find a prickly pear cactus to hide my white ass behind.

What you got on tap for Spring break?

Drinking: Grande mild Starbucks coffee with extra cream

Never Too Early for a Bikini

Running tip: Going on vacation doesn’t have to be an excuse to throw your training out the window. Pick a hotel with a fitness center, or better yet, run through the city you are visiting or along the beach. Many runners would agree - the best way to learn about a new place is to run through it!

I bought this yesterday:

I know, I know. The top looks a bit small. That is because my boobs are non-existent a bit small.

Yes, it’s from Target and I’m proud. For all the money I spend there I should probably have a permanent tattoo that reads Cherokee. Or maybe Mossimo, because that sounds kind of mysterious and/or expensive. People will ask me on the street what it means. Maybe I will find out how to write it in Chinese and that would really cause a ruckus. Really, I should just get the red bulls eye tattooed where the sun don’t shine, but that might be kind of awkward at the gyno.

Notice I am not modeling this bikini. If you want that, you will have to ask for it.

Why, you ask, are you buying a bikini in the middle of February? For starters, each piece was only $7.98, and I never turn down a bargain. Second, I am thinking ahead to a warmer and gentler time. A time when people actually expose their skin without fear of frostbite. A time when ice isn’t crusting over your favorite body of water. A time when a breezy day doesn’t mean the temp falls well below zero.

Let me tell you how I cope this time of year. I plan trips to warm places. I start this in November. It is an expensive past time and coping mechanism. Here’s what’s on tap:

March 28: Playa del Carmen, Mexico. All inclusive. Family trip. We went here last year. It did not disappoint. This picture is from last year, after a few drinks. This was part of my strength training:

May 22: Vegas. Wynn Hotel. The first two days I will take classes to get certified as an RCAA running coach. That way, when I give running tips I have some sort of leg to stand on (be it kind of wobbly). The next three days after training will be pool, blackjack and trouble with the girls.


June 8: Dade City & Amelia Island, FL. Visiting the in-laws and taking a side trip to AI. This is the Ritz Carlton and probably not where we will stay because I shop at Target not at Nordstrom.
. Make no mistake about it. These trips have everything to do with running. I will run in the fitness center in Mexico like I did last year. They have these treadmills that overlook the ocean and it is incredible. I will sweat and go replenish with a margarita and a bucket of guac. I will be five weeks out from my marathon at that time, so there can be no slacking. In Vegas, I will be going to a coach's training. There will be no running. In Florida, I fully plan on some beach runs and some routes from the in-laws home (so they can tell me how crazy I am and ask me if my knees hurt and why I run so far and why I put my body through this and why, why, why).

Any vacations planned for you yet this year?

PS: Don't forget my giveaway. It ends tomorrow.

PPS: Ran ten miles today with only one squirt at mile 9.8 (it just had to get in there, didn't it?)

Drinking: Oregon Chai