Treadmills Suck, But I Still Want An Answer

The treadmill and I are not friends. It started when I fell off of the damn thing a couple of years ago. After that it was all downhill. In my opinion, the only advantage of a treadmill is that there is always a bathroom nearby so you don’t have to resort to using innocent parking lots or hollowed out trees as your canvas.

This is the actual tree I defiled. If you visit me, I will take you there.

I live in Colorado, no duh. I train outside throughout the winter. You can call me a BAMF if you want. It wouldn't be the first time I’ve been called names that included the "MF.” Fortunately, although we get a fair amount of snow it never sticks around for long and the air so dry that we don’t get layers upon layers of ice forming on the roads. The trails may be a different story, however. I tend to stick to the roads in the winter months. I use my Yak Trax when necessary.

That said, I heard something interesting today in the car.

A secret about me: I LOVE talk radio. I have an XM Radio and listen to it constantly (I drive a lot for work and sometimes I just drive around town to pretend I have somewhere to go). I listen to everything from Dr. Laura to Cocks with Patrick. I would listen to Howard Stern if I had Sirius. I don’t discriminate. 

Anyway, today on Oprah Radio (yes, I am admitting to that as well), Oprah’s fitness guru, Bob Greene, said that you should never run on a “flat” treadmill because that is the equivalent to going downhill on a real road. When the hell am I going to reach the point in my life where I know everything and nothing comes as a surprise? I guess I should have known this, but I didn’t. Did you?

This doesn’t really apply to me so much since I don’t dig treadmills, but if you use it as a major part of your race training, you might want to think about it. Then again, you probably already knew this.

Sometimes the things I don’t know I find out most people knew a long time ago. Like the fact that the word “asterisk” does not have an “x” in it and that jackalopes are not real.

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTT?

Yes, three years ago on a trip to Jackson Hole (I said “hole”) we were in a gift shop and there were a plethora of fake/stuffed jackalopes around. I made some comment to Ken about having never seen one in the wild, and he was like, “Don’t f*ck with me. You are kidding me right? You don’t think they really exist do you? Maybe you should start a leprechaun support group.” Uhh, yeah, sure I was just kidding.

There is no way this little guy is fake

Back to the treadmill.   Did I tell you I once saw a jackalope doing a 49% incline on the treadmill? True story.

Do you always run with an incline on the ‘mill to simulate outdoor running?

What’s something you just learned that everyone else already knows?

Weirdest spot you’ve ever crapped?

SUAR

Don’t forget my Champion clothing giveaway. Ends Friday.

Champion Eco Fleece Review & Giveaway (Male & Female Winners!)

Today I am going to spoil you with how SUAR looks (yes, I like to talk in the third person) when she is done running, about to run, recovering from running or basically any other time when she is not going to work or a parent/teacher conference.

U-G-L-Y. she ain’t got no alibi (although her sweats are pretty nice):

Please do not submit these photos to US Weekly to be entered into the the “Stars! Their just like us! They look like shit when no one is around” segment. Because I am not a Star and no one cares anyway.

Oh, yeah, party in my kitchen! Hands in the air now! Midriff exposed! Booyah!

On the surface, these may look like just another pair of comfy sweats. But, look more closely. What do you see?

I will punch you in the face with my blurry fists and bald head. I said look closer!:

If you looked deeply enough you might have seen recycled fibers. That is because these sweats are Champion’s new Eco Fleece line made from 5% recycled plastic water bottle fibers. Basically, if you wear these sweats and go put that cardboard pizza box in the recycling bin, you have done your good deed for the day and can go back to bed.

In all seriousness, when you purchase an Eco-fleece item, you're helping to keep 5 million plastic bottles out of landfills.

These sweats are very cozy. They are roomy and are the perfect go-to outfit after a long, cold run. The inside is even softer than the outside. Snuggle into these babies, sit in front of some football and eat some chips. The roominess allows from some waistline expansion for sure.

I am wearing the Women’s Full Zip Hoodie Jacket in size small, color acai. This retails for $38, but Champion is having a 20% online sale right now, so that makes it about $30.40 to be exact.

I am also wearing the Women’s Open Hem Women’s Sweatpants in size small, color granite. These sell for $28.

I’ve said it before, I like Champion stuff because it is affordable, yet quality. There are tons of awesome running items out there, but who can pay $60 a shot? Champion makes stuff for the everyday athlete who wants to look good but might have to count some pennies along the way.

Want this outfit? Or course you do. It’s comfy and free. I have one to give away for ladies and one for men. The men’s version would be something like this:

To enter (comment for each):

• Tell me what your favorite post-long outfit is – thong with pasties? unitard?
• Like Champion on Facebook
• Blog, twat, FB about this giveaway
• Follow my blog if you don’t already

I will pick a winner through random.org on Friday, October 14.

Good luck!

SUAR

PS: Cheetah slippers not included

Fine print: Champion sent me these items and provided the giveaway items free of charge to me in exchange for my unbiased review and giveaway of their product.

Champion Review and Giveaway–For Men & Women!

Champion sent me a couple of their new products to try out, the Double Dry Ultimate All-Weather Soft-Shell Women’s Jacket and the Double Dry+ Sprint Women’s Shorts. I think Champion makes a high quality and affordable product. I have a ton of their stuff from running skirts to yoga pants.

Double Dry Ultimate All-Weather Soft-Shell Women’s Jacket:

This beauty which goes for $60, is both wind and water resistant and wicks away moisture to keep you dry. It has invisible zippered pockets, a zip-up media pocket, white reflective details, and a  full-length lock-down zipper.

It comes in two colors: purple and black.  After I received this jacket it got steamy warm in Colorado, so I have actually not been able to test it on a run. I have worn it a ton, however, just around town (to the gym, Chick-Fil-A, donut shop). It is nice because it is very light weight but provides protection from the elements at the same time. Very comfortable, sleek fit.

The sleeve does not actually glow in the dark. Those are just the reflectors making love to my camera flash. Nice to know it will light up quite well with the help of a car’s headlights. That way you might not get pancaked on the road.

The Double Dry and Sprint Women’s Shorts:

These are made of moisture wicking fabric and have a soft inner mesh panty (yowza). The best part – they have a zippered back pocket to hold your gels, key, condom, whatever.

These come in black, purple or guava (which is a fancy name for pinkish-orange). They go for $25.

I am totally digging these shorts. Very comfy to run in. They are a perfect length for me. I hate shorts that are too long. I’m 5’5” and these babies are short enough (3.5” inseam), but not so short it scares the kids. Plus, I LOVE the nifty pocket in the back. You could even carry a poster in it if you want.

Now if they could just make a short that corrects my bow-legs and Morton’s Toe.

These are two great products that could be yours!! Champion is offering up one jacket/short for a female and one jacket/short for a male. Here are the manly man testosterone items (you reading, Chris K. and Kovas?):

Champion Double Dry Ultimate All-Weather Soft-Shell Men’s Jacket.

• Super-soft bonded shell resists both wind and water... helps shield you from the cold...wicks sweat to keep you dry.
• Sleek ergonomic seams give you maximum ease of movement. (Built-in stretch adds extra freedom.)
• Inner stretch cuffs — with thumb-holes — protect your hands from chill.
• Details add extra value: zippered on-seam pockets, tag-free mock-neck collar, lock-down zipper with storm flap, non-chafe flat-locked seams, white reflective trim.
• Retails for $60

Champion Double Dry+ Sprint Men’s Shorts

• Ultra-light woven fabric wicks moisture for cooling comfort.
• Non-binding elastic waist provides easy, flexible fit. (Has adjustable inner drawcord.)
• Mesh insets (at sides and gusset) add extra cooling power.
• Wicking inner briefs give you comfortable support.
• Zippered hidden pocket holds your music/media player.
• Ergonomic contrast seams enhance your ease of movement. (Flat-locked to help prevent chafing.)
• Retails for $27

Yes, there will be TWO winners, one male and one female and each winner will get both items. To enter, leave a comment for each:

• Do you wear Champion stuff? If so, what’s your favorite item? + 1 entry
• Become a follower of my blog if you’re not already + 1 entry
• Facebook, blog, Twitter, etc. about this giveaway + 1 entry
• “Like” Champion on Facebook HERE and let them know I sent you + 1 entry

Giveaway will end Sunday, May 15.

Good luck friends!

SUAR

Fine print:

• Champion  provided the giveaway calf sleeves as well as the knickers sent to me. I did not pay any thing for them.
• The winner will be chosen by Random.org on 5/15.

Bambi Spies On Me and Giveaway Winners

Excuse me while I am distracted. Concentrating these days is difficult. I have visions of trail races, an ultra marathon man, a 2,700 ft. elevation gain over 20 miles, running at 9,000 feet of altitude and hoping I don’t crap myself, and falling down mountains because I am not a trail runner and I am clumsy.

If you have no clue what I’m talking about, click HERE. Just know that by this time next month, Dean Karnazes and I will be like this:

Not intertwined, per se, but just tight, bonded. BFFs. If only.

I mean, seriously. 

Since Thursday I have felt an urgency to start running up mountains. Must be something about knowing I will need to do this in 28 days along side of the trail running star of the universe.

Today Ken and I went out for a trail run west of Boulder. 10 miles. 1,300 ft. elevation gain (in the first 5 miles nonetheless!). Hard as shit. And shit I did, because I usually do when I exert myself. A friend lent me some TP on the trail. A few deer watched as I tried to clean myself up. What must they have been thinking? She is tarnishing our vista. Bambi, do not let her be an example to you.  Hopefully one day I’ll remember to bring my own paper. Really, I should just carry a toilet. They have those portable ones these days you know. I’m sure I could make a backpack to fit it.

My next climbing endeavor will be the famed Magnolia Road. Ever read “Running With the Buffaloes” about the University of Colorado cross country team? This is where they trained. The road/trail starts at 8,200 feet and climbs 7.5 miles (1,800 ft.) to the gorgeous Peak to Peak Highway.

Then you run down. So, 15 miles total of altitude and hill training. Who’s in?

Today, while reading up on how to get to the start point, I found this comment about the run:

“I live along Magnolia Road. The views are pretty darn nice and you have a good chance of seeing elk herds this time of year. Please take a dump in town before you come up to go for a run.”

 

I love runners! This person was obviously speaking directly.to.me.

By the way, winners of the Champion shirts are (per Random.org):

Female - #19 – Katie from Run This Amazing Day. Her sportsmanlike principle was, “respect for others, no matter where they are in their journey!”

Male - #56 – Kovas Palubinskas from Midwest MultiSport Life . His principle was, “play fair and clean and get everyone involved.”

And even though he didn’t win, I have to give kudos to Fitmacdaddy who made me laugh when he commented, “Poor sportsmanship: I was once farted on by a chick in a cheetah skirt. Smelled like apple cinnamon.”  I do believe he was referring to me…

Send your addresses, shirt size and color preference to brisdon@comcast.net. And congrats!

Remember Lorena Bobbitt?

I admit it. I read Women’s Running magazine. To me, it is a cross between Runner’s World and Cosmo. You get articles on the “Summer’s Hottest Swimwear” and “The Jerusalem Half Marathon” (which would be amazing, by the way) all wedged into the same periodical. There is variety. There is fluff. And there is also some good reading.

In the July/August edition, you can find a really inspiring article about Shalane Flanagan, U.S. record holder in  the 3K, 5K and 10K and Olympic bronze medalist.  Having only run middle distances, she decided to train for first half, then full marathon. She ran the 2010 Houston Half Marathon and set a course record of 1:09:41 (I could so do that if I wanted. Except that 1:09 was about my first 10K time).

Shalane (we’re on a first name basis) then started marathon training. Of course she doesn’t just want to run a marathon. That would be too easy and too human-like. She wants to win the whole race. Still contemplating which race to run, she’s thinking about London in 2012.

 

Certainly her sustained 5:15 and 5:30 minute miles throughout the half marathon were impressive. What really caught my attention, however, is what she had to say about marathon training. Her words resonate with all of us non-elites:

“Flanagan was surprised by the total commitment the marathon demanded. ‘It’s a lifestyle,’ she says. After her first 20-miler she spent the rest of the day on the couch.

But she loved it. She loved that she was transforming her bodying into something new, strengthening areas that had played supporting roles for so long (slow twitch muscle fibers), and going places she’d never been before (21 miles?). The process fascinated her, the idea that you can train the body to do more, take more, and it would hurt and you’d curse it, but then a miracle could happen: what felt hard a month ago felt good now.

‘My coach constantly reminds me that marathoners are not born, they are made,’ Flanagan says.  ‘And every time he asked me to go longer it became a bit easier.’”

So, if you are struggling in your training, hurting, cursing, nursing tired legs and psyches - remember her words: you can train the body to do more, take more but then what felt hard a month ago might feel good soon. Hang in there. Enjoy watching and feeling your body and mind get stronger. Because it will happen.

Quote of the day:

My son is taking a photography class. It meets at a local senior center (which he thought would smell like urine but it doesn’t). Yesterday, as part of the class, he had to take a portrait of someone. He chose the old lady at the front desk. She refused to smile for the picture saying that “she doesn’t smile because her husband told her her smile was ugly.”

 Who is this husband and why has no one done a Lorena Bobbitt on him yet?

PS: Win a Champion running shirt. Check out my giveaway HERE.

You Don’t Get These Odds In Vegas

Today’s tempo run started at 6:24 a.m. which is about the time I am usually turning over in bed to move out of my own personal pile of drool. I admit it. I am a drooler. As in I leave a perfectly round drool spot at least 3 inches in diameter on the sheet just below my pillow. I like to think it’s a sign of intelligence or at least an indication that I’m a sound sleeper.

I never get up this early, let alone run. Today, however, I have to get my daughter to a camp in Boulder by 9am, so you do what you have to do. Get up and shut up and run.

I was feeling sassy in my new booty shorts and tech shirt from a marathon I have not yet run (Boston). Here I am posing for a JC Penney catalog (no, I did not run in these flip flops – I do, however, have a review coming up about them):

The SUAR schedule called for 1 mile warm up, 4 miles tempo @ 8:04, 1 mile cool down. I can’t stomach much this early, so I did an apple cinnamon Hammer gel about 15 minutes prior with water. I never do gels pre-run, but it’s what sounded good today.

On the way out I was feeling particularly gassy. Good for me I was alone and it was early. I could just let ‘em rip as they came. Smelled like apple cinnamon. I did pass an old guy who gave me a sour look. What? He doesn’t like apple cinnamon?

Here’s how it panned out:

Mile 1: 9:11
Mile 2: 8:11
Mile 3: 7:53
Mile 4: 7:54
Mile 5: 8:07
Mile 6: 9:04

Not too consistent, but I’ll take it. I’m not smart enough to figure out the average of those four miles (Steve Q? Are you there?), but I’m going to guess 8:02. Sound good?

Got speed this week? If so, what are you doing?

Don’t forget my Champion Giveaway. You didn’t hear it here, but if you are a guy you have a 100% chance of winning right now. You don’t get those odds in Vegas you know. Only on this blog.

Champion Giveaway – Let’s Bring Back Sportsmanship!

With the recent public displays of poor sportsmanship (think red/yellow cards at the World Cup, temper tantrums on the tennis courts, or even parents, refs and coaches fighting at your son’s Little League Game), Champion is on the move to bring back sportsmanship. Champion and the National Alliance for Youth Sports administered a survey of 1,500+ athletes. The results?

• 81% say that athletes today would rather win the game than play completely fairly
• Most people (73%) believe it’s cheating only if you get caught
• 79% say that showing good sportsmanship is not what it used to be - most athletes don’t make it a priority but just want to win
• 86% of young athletes indicate that “trash talk” during games  has gotten worse as they’ve gotten older
• Many believe that coaches have had a role in decreasing sportsmanship. 45% of respondents have thought about quitting sports due to a coach’s behavior
• 41% think their coach is more concerned about winning than being sportsmanlike

Holy cow! What are we teaching our kids about how to act on and off the field?

Since running can very much be a team sport and does embody principles of competition and camaraderie, poor sportsmanship very much affects us too. My principle?

“Run your own race. Play your own game. Only compare yourself to others to make yourself stronger and more driven. Congratulate your opponents and learn from them.”

Champion has taken action by starting a campaign on Facebook called The Athlete’s Creed. They want to put FUN and FAIR back in PLAY. You can help by entering the principles you live by on/off the field, track or race route. If your principle is chosen you'll WIN some cool prizes from Champion!

Also if you play along you’ll be entered into my giveaway right here. I will choose one male and one female winner.

The female winner gets  a Women’s Double Dry V-Neck T-Shirt. Your choice of color/size (depending on availability). A $22 value!

The male winner gets a Men’s Double Dry T-Shirt. Your choice of color/size (depending on availability). A $22 value.

Ways to enter:

1. Go to Champion’s Facebook Page by clicking HERE. Enter your principle and leaving me a comment telling me what it is = +1 entry (mandated entry, all the others are optional).
2. At the same place vote on your favorite principle = +1 entry and leave a comment letting me know
3. Become a fan of Champion on FB and leave a comment = +1 entry
4. Write about this giveaway/Campaign on your blog an leave a comment = +1 entry
5. In a comment tell about a time when you were a victim of poor sportsmanship and how you reacted =+1 entry
6. In a comment tell about a time when you promoted fine sportsmanship = +1 entry

Some people wonder why a comment for each one? That way when I pick a winner at Random.org your odds are better the more comments you have.

Contest will end on July 26th. Good luck!

Fine Print: Champion is sponsoring this giveaway. I paid nothing for the items listed.

The GIVEAWAY You Don't Want to Miss

Okay, readers. Brace yourselves. I have one hell of a giveaway. That generous company called Champion not only sent me some great running gear to review* (see here), but wants to send you a box of goodies as well. How does that sound? The lucky winner of this giveaway will get ALL of the following, sent direct to you from Champion:

Black training jacket: size small, medium or large

Black semi-fit pants (to match training jacket): size small, medium or large

Purple Double Dry Long Sleeve Shirt: size medium or large

Pink Zip Up Fleece: size medium

No, I am not kidding. All of this could be yours. If you are homeless or just sitting around naked waiting to win something I hope you are reading this blog because you are going to outfitted like nobody's business.

If you are a man who reads my blog and you don't tend to wear pink fleeces, feel free to enter to win this stuff for the woman in your life. If you are a gay man with no "special" woman in your life feel free to enter to win for your mom or sister (or maybe you do wear pink fleeces). Note to self: tell Ken to enter the giveaway.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, Champion gear is great because it's easy to find (Target anyone?), and is affordable. The best part is you don't sacrifice quality because it is inexpensive. It holds up really well even if you soil yourself and wash it often.

I wear my fleece all the time and it is as soft as my soul patch. It was finally warm enough the other day to run in my long sleeved tech shirt. That lemon yellow thing is a great piece of apparel. Soft, good fit (not too baggy, but not so tight you can see the outline of my large bosom), nice design. If you don't believe me, just look at me for god's sake. I am in heaven and I am clearly a more efficient and faster runner because I wear this shirt. Well, not really, but I do love the shirt.

So, what are you waiting for? Probably for me to tell you what to do to enter. First, reach around behind you touch your spine. Next stand up and lift one foot in the air. Then, sing any song you remember from your prom while simultaneously arching your back. Done? Okay now here's what to do.

I'm going to be original:

1. Leave a comment on my blog about anything you want. Feel free to sing the praises of Champion running apparel if you've tried it before (1 entry)
2. Follow me - not on the street at night or around the house, but on this blog (+1 entry)
3. Mention this giveaway on your blog or at the mall (+ 1 entry)
4. Become a fan of ShutupandRun on Facebook by clicking here. Thanks Julie for reminding me (+1 entry)
5. Slip me a 20 spot in the mail

Good luck! You do not need to have a blog to enter. Just leave a comment anyway. Giveaway ends a week from today: February 16, 2010. Sorry, shipping is only to those within the United States.

PS: Hate the treadmill? Check out my latest Examiner article by clicking here.

Drinking: Starbucks Pike Place Blend

*Champion sent me all of this gear for free to review on my blog. I did not pay for this stuff and am not paying for any of the stuff offered in the giveaway, including postage. Got that FTC?

Let's Talk Running Clothes

I am not going to lie. Like some of you, I was recently contacted by Champion, maker of cool and affordable fitness clothes. They asked me to highlight the Champion Innovation Lab on my blog in exchange for some Champion schwag to later review on said blog (and maybe model and maybe giveaway). Because I love new things (especially of the *free* variety) and because this program is actually pretty cool I thought it was a decent trade off.

What is the Champion Innovation Lab? Good question. I had no clue until they contacted me. Here's the gist:

Starting this past September, participants were given product from Champion’s extensive portfolio, including apparel from the popular Double Dry, Compression and Seamless lines. Athletes are then asked to catalogue their experiences in a provided Training Log, answering questions on weather, pace, route (e.g., train, street, treadmill), comfort, fit and washing machine care. Insights garnered from these logs continue to provide Champion with updates on how its products are delivering in real life. Runners are additionally outfitted in Champion apparel for the Half and Full Marathon events and are announced as Innovation Lab participants when crossing the finish line.

In fact, Champion had many Innovation Lab Athletes running at the Disney World Half Marathon today. I hope the clothes didn't freeze into their skin. Were any of you there for the Florida cold fest?

I think this lab thing is innovative. Guess that's why it's the Innovation Lab Here's the main reason I like this innovating Innovation Lab:

You don't just wear the stuff and say, "I liked it" or "It sucked" or "It made my butt look fat." You actually think about how you liked it under certain conditions.

• When you were stinking hot, did the clothing wick well and keep you dry?


• When you washed it, did it retain its shape, color, etc? Did the skid marks wash out easily?


• When you were on that 20 mile run, did the shorts ride up? Did the shirt chafe in scary places?

You get the picture. A company trying to solicit this kind of detail and satisfaction level from its customers clearly wants to do a good job.

My question to you is: how do you choose your running clothes. Brand? Quality? How phat it looks? Practicality? Price? I usually choose mine based on how well it fits, how good it looks, and how well reputed the company is who makes it. Price is important too. I'm not stuck on any particular brand. If it's comfy, looks good, is the right price and makes me look like I got a boob job, I'll probably buy it.

Hope you're Saturday is everything that you dreamed it would be.