Sunday, October 31, 2010

Mother of the Year & Giveaway Winner!


The winner of a necklace of your choice from Anne Franklin Designs is #71 MCM Mama! Congrats. Shoot me an email at and I’ll tell you how to claim your prize! Anne of AFD wanted me to pass on to you how much she has appreciated your views of her site and “likes” on Facebook. Keep her awesome products in mind for the holidays! She sent me a necklace and I love it.


In other news, for Sam’s birthday he wanted to go paint balling.

I seriously should get some sort of prize for this:


Feel free to comment on the elephant in the room – i.e., that lumpy muscle in my arm. Want a muscle like that? Use crutches. I may not be able to run for shit when this is all over, but I’ll have some crazy arm candy.

Believe me, I tried to not wear the mask, but if you even lifted it an inch off your face you had to do ten pushups. No joke. Those rednecks don’t mess around.

Hanging with the 13 year olds,


PS: Don’t forget my $25 Subway Gift Card Giveaway.

Friday, October 29, 2010

My Interview with Jared from Subway and Gift Card Giveaway

His real name is Jared Fogle, but most people call him “Jared from Subway.” We all know Jared  jaredfromsubwaylost an astonishing 245 pounds by eating Subway twice a day for one year back in 1999. What  you may not know is that Jared, age 33, will be running the New York City Marathon on November 7 – his first marathon ever! I caught up with Jared today for a telephone interview about his upcoming race.

SUAR: It’s one thing to lose all that weight, it’s another thing to decide to run your first marathon. What motivated you to make that choice?

Jared: Running a marathon has been on my bucket list for years. I started to really think about it last year, just to shake up my fitness routine a bit. I knew it would be hard, and I was concerned how being heavy in the past would affect my training. I worried about my knees. I started with a great trainer, Ryan Harbor (of St. Vincent Sport Performance). I saw a podiatrist and my family physician and was cleared to train. I jumped in head on. I had some IT band issues a few months ago, but that’s it.

SUAR: What advice do you have for people who are intimidated by running?

Jared: I don’t know if it went back to my childhood, but I had a mental block when it came to running. The perception of runners is that you have to be extreme with it and you can’t do it for fun. I’m trying to get the message out that it doesn’t have to be like that. You have to believe in yourself. If I can run a marathon, anyone can. The key is starting slow and pacing yourself properly.

SUAR: How much of running is mental for you?

Jared: I think most of it is mental. The vast majority of people would be fine running and training once they got into it. You just have to get over those mental humps. There are days you don’t feel great and don’t want to run. On one of my 18 milers I had a head cold but I gutted through it. I tell myself, “It will be over soon” when it gets tough.

SUAR: How did you train for this race?

Jared: I trained for about five months. I had goals along the way like doing a 5K, a 10K and a half marathon (in June). Given my travel schedule, I ran three days per week on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I would do my long runs on Mondays. After the half marathon, my long runs started at 12 miles. Each week I would add a mile or two, then scale back on the fourth week. My Wednesday and Friday runs would be tempo runs. On my long runs I do about an 11 minute mile pace. For my tempo runs I would do between a 9:30 and 10 minute mile pace.

SUAR: How was it training with some famous athletes like Meb (Meb Keflezighi, winner of themebandjared 2009 NYC Marathon)? Was he able to keep up with you?

Jared: (laughing) Yeah, I left Meb in the dust. I really didn’t know what to expect from Meb. I was in awe because the guy ran a marathon in 2 hours and 9 minutes. Last year that number meant nothing to me, but now I know what an incredible feat that is. He was such a humble and nice guy. One thing he told me was to make sure that I did not get so focused on my pace during the marathon that I forgot to enjoy the race – to take in the scenery and the sites.

SUAR: What do you eat before along run?

I do my long runs in the mornings. I get up two hours beforehand and have a big bagel with some reduced fat peanut butter. I also have some yogurt and coffee for the caffeine and energy. While running, I take GU every three miles. I love those things (his favorite flavor is espresso). One thing I love after a long run is Rockin Refuel, a post-run sport’s drink from Shamrock Dairy.

SUAR: Ever have stomach problems when you run?

Jared: No. I try to cleanse out first.

SUAR: How has your view of food changed with your training?

Jared: I now view food as fuel. I also realize that every lost pound helps you run faster and more easily. I lost about six or seven pounds while training and I think I’ve gained muscle.

SUAR: What is your goal for the marathon?

Jared: Completion! If I could get in under five hours, that would be awesome.

SUAR: Do you think you’ll do more marathons?

Jared: I love to run but I don’t see myself doing more marathons. I will continue doing 5 or 6 mile runs because they don’t leave me so exhausted {as the long training runs} where the day is shot. Before this year, I had never run a mile in my life. I am excited to do this once, but I’m not sure if I like the long distance.

Thanks, Jared. We’ll be stalking you on November 7th.

As a thanks for participating in all the Commit to Fit stuff and reading this interview, Subway would like to give away a $25 Subway gift card to one reader.  Here’s how to enter (comment for each):

  1. Have you been successful at losing weight and keeping it off? How?
  2. Tell me something you learned from this interview.
  3. What is your best tip for someone training for their first marathon?
  4. Write about this giveaway on your blog, FB, Twitter, etc. +1 entry
  5. Follow this blog or let me know if you do already + 1 entry
  6. Enter Subway’s FB sweepstakes HERE and let me know + 1 entry

Giveaway ends November 5.

The fine print:

  • Per FTC guidelines: Subway provided the Subway gift card. They also gave me a second gift card for my personal use. I did not pay anything for it.
  • Contest only open to US residents. Sorry! 
  • The winner will be chosen at random by
  • Check back November 5  to see if you won!
  • If I don’t hear back from the winner within 2 days after posting that they’ve won, I’ll another name

For more information about the Commit to Fit program and for a chance to win up to $26,200 please visit the Subway Facebook page at

Here’s to getting and staying fit,


The Years Are Short

Every once in awhile I watch this video as a reminder that today is THE day (Kleenex is optional). It’s all you’ve got. “They days are long, but the years are short, ” So says Gretchen Rubin creator of the video and author of “The Happiness Project.” 

My interpretation: Don’t miss all of the blessings that are right in front of your face because you are annoyed by the clogged toilet and/or crutches and are distracted by the ten million things you think you have to do. Stop for a second. Take it all in. Give thanks.

And then make your dad ride the cripple cart at Costco because if you have to do it, he should too.


See the lady in the way back in the red shirt? That is my mom. Moments before this picture was taken, she rushed off saying, “I don’t want any part of this.” My whole life she has hated getting her picture taken. I obviously did not get that gene. Neither did my dad.

At 43 years old, it’s fun to go to Costco with your mom and dad because you are injured and can’t go alone. Good thing I like my parents as much as I do because we’ve had a lot of quality time together lately. Nobody takes care of you like your mom and dad. They saw me cross the finish line when I BQ’d and they’ve helped pick up the pieces when I’m down.



Giving thanks and remembering the years are short,


Thursday, October 28, 2010

Thanks, Santa

There’s not a lot that I’m scared of.  Hell, I just jumped out of a plane a few weeks ago. But, one thing that makes me really nervous occurred on my way home from Denver today. I was behind this:


Call me irrational, call me an alarmist, but this whole thing makes me very uncomfortable. All the “what ifs” come to mind. What if that skimpy belt holding the porta potty on the truck broke thereby splashing watery brown contents onto me?

Fortunately, minutes after this was taken, the vehicle turned off the road. The driver probably had to use the bathroom. His bathroom. Come to think of it, this would be a great thing to bring along on a road trip. No searching out McDonald’s or rest stops. Just have your kid climb over the seat, out the back window, and into the john. Easy as that.

The good news is I can take pictures while I drive. The other good news is, the mountains look gorgeous today.

Doc update:

Thanks for continuing to ask about the injury and when I can burn the crutches.

I went to see Mr. Sport’s Medicine yesterday. He said two more weeks on the crutches. Damn him. He also said these magical words:

“My Christmas gift to you is that you will be running by January 1st.”

We reviewed the MRI and the area of the stress fracture. Hard to believe this little one inch spot is causing all this commotion. We talked a lot about Boston goals and he agreed that the mission is to get me to the start line healthy and ready/able to run. Better to be a bit undertrained than over trained or injured. I told him a PR was not going to be likely and he assured me few people PR on the Boston course just because it is such a tough course after the first six miles. Injury or not.

Not surprisingly, all of this gave me total piece of mind. I will heal, I will start running and training. I will not put pressure on myself in regards to pace, speed, or number of miles. My goals for Boston are simple: run pain free and complete the race. Then we’ll go from there.

Next week I have a bone scan and blood work to see if we can find out more about why I get these fractures.

Counting the days ‘til the new year (63 to be exact),


Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Today 13 Is a Very Lucky Number

Son, you outgrew my lap, but never my heart.  ~Author Unknown

The blizzard hit Longmont, Colorado on October 25, 1997, three days before my due date with my first child. I wasn't worried about being sacked in by the two feet of snow. The worst that could happen would be that Ken would have to deliver the baby in the living room. What’s a little blood and screaming and cord cutting amongst spouses?

Our backyard:

Image (18)

The worst didn’t happen. Just as the snow melted into a mess of slush and leaves, my water broke at 3:00 a.m. on October 27 (Wait! That’s 13 years ago today!).

So much was different back then. I wasn’t a runner. I wasn’t a parent. We had been married for just over two years. We had moved to Longmont from Denver three months prior. I had no friends or family nearby. We lived in a tiny house in the old town section of the city, an area we chose because of it’s mature and towering trees, 1900s Victorian style homes and all-American small town vibe. All we needed was the baby, and the picture would be complete.

I was certain I was ready for Sam to arrive. Hell, while getting my MSW I’d studied child development  and had read What to Expect When You’re Expecting. How hard could it really be? And labor? I’d just get the epidural at the first sign of pain, Ken would hold my hand and guide me through contractions, the angels would sing and little Sammy would pop out in all his glory.

The first “real” contraction doubled me over as the automatic doors of the hospital opened at 5:00 a.m..  I peed in a cup and a less than educated nurse told me that my urine looked awful, I might have an infection. I let her know that the cloudiness in the cup was amniotic fluid (and I don’t even have a medical degree). “Oh,” she said as she tested it with a dipstick. “You’re right. I think you’re in labor.” Kind of like I thought she was a dumbass.

Time passed and when the pain got horrific I pleaded for an epidural. Funny how a long needle in your spine seems like a walk in the park compared to the ripping apart of your uterus by contractions.

The contractions piled on and in what seemed like seconds, it was time to push. In typical SUAR style, I pushed and I crapped. Let’s do it again. I pushed and I crapped. Because of the epidural, I couldn't feel the fact that I was squirting. So, I just kept doing it, like a champ. Finally, I smelled something and asked Ken, “Did I crap?” He smiled apologetically and nodded. I then realized the nurse had been wiping me each time. Bless her soul. To erase the awkwardness I sheepishly offered, “Sorry about that. You must get used to it after awhile, huh?” She looked me in the eye and offered these words of support: “No.You don’t get used to it. Ever.” At least she was honest. I, on the other hand, felt like a shunned child.

Finally, my savoir doctor arrived just in time to suction little Sammy out of my body. 12:28 p.m. You see Sam was what they call “sunny side up,” which means face-up. Babies are supposed to be face down. Thus, the suction cause he got stuck.

Image (17)

Sam – the first thing I remember about you was that you were perfectly still and alert. You looked around, making eye contact immediately. You took in the world around you and seemed thrilled to be joining the party on the outside world. People say it all the time, but how is it possible to fall in love so deeply and instantaneously?

I loved you while you were on the inside, but I fell madly in love with you on the outside. 

God, you were a tough baby.  No sleeping for you. You cried and screamed all day, every day. I thought I would lose my mind. But, your cuteness and the surfacing of occasional smiles and belly laughs made up for the shrieking and shitting. And your head. Was there ever such a big head?:

Image (19)

As you grew, so did your heart and your personality (and thank God not your head). You are one of the funniest and most good natured people I have ever met. I’m honored to know you and to be your mom.

Here’s you in preschool. Remember when you took a pair of handcuffs to school and told the class that they you found them in your mom’s nightstand? (Okay, they were mine, but I had gotten them as a gag gift when I turned 30). I’ll never forget the looks the teachers gave me that day when I picked you up. That was also the year you stuck a penny in the outlet and blew up the wall.

Image (20)

You are such a ham. We never stop laughing and what you say or do. Yet, your compassion and sweet spirit always lies just underneath the surface. Even when it comes to your sister (who somehow had a black baby).

Image (21)

Image (22)

Today you are 13. I have seen you mature so much this year. I can count on you. I can trust you. You are flying away from me, yet you always return home with a funny story or the question, “So, how was your day today, mom?,”  or a compliment, “Your new haircut makes you look like Snookie.” (Wait, is that a compliment?)


I love that:

  • Your go-to comfort outfit is a robe and boxers (Hello, Hugh Heffner)
  • You let me run with you when I looked like this:


  • You’re not too cool to hug and kiss me
  • You jumped up and down and danced around when I got into Boston
  • Your favorite trip ever was going to Phoenix to watch me run my first marathon
  • You can rock AC/DC on the drums
  • You’re so smart you don’t know how smart you are
  • You want to buy an an old RV and drive your friends around in it when you’re 16
  • You have a heart of gold and the wit of Jon Stewart
  • You never shy away from being the complete and total unique individual who you are. 

And that is just the beginning.

I’ll love you forever, I’ll like for always, as long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be.



Monday, October 25, 2010

Anne Franklin Designs Necklace Giveaway

I’ve been trying to limit giveaways just to stuff I really love and endorse, or items that I think send a positive message about fitness and wellness (like the Commit to Fit series). Today, I’ve got a giveaway of a product that is totally unique and is handcrafted by a local runner, mom of three, and artist.

Anne of Anne Franklin Designs must have really liked board games as a child. More specifically, Scrabble. In all of her creativity, Anne decided to take Scrabble tiles and to repurpose them into necklace charms and key chains. The colorful designs are sealed with a  shiny resin finish and offset by a colorful four-strand combination of ribbon and cord.  Necklaces measure approximately 18".


The above is a sample of her race-related tiles. These are just a few of the many types of necklaces she offers. There are charms specific to holidays, pets, flowers, sports and sport’s teams, monograms, you name it. She will even custom-make a tile for you if you send in a picture. I am going to have one made for my daughter for Christmas of her one-eyed, three-legged dog, Lucky (who is really not so Lucky if you think about it. Here it looks like he has only two legs).


Some selections:


Anne keeps her prices reasonable. Part of her mission was to create personalized items that were affordable.  Her necklaces are only $15 ($20 for a special order). Shipping is $3.

Want one of the beauties she makes?

Here’s how to enter (comment for each):

  1. Go to either Anne Franklin Designs or the Anne Franklin Design FB Page (this has more photos than the website), and let me know what you’d get  +1 entry
  2. Write about this giveaway on your blog, FB, Twitter, etc. +1 entry
  3. “Like” Anne Franklin Designs on FB
  4. Follow my blog or let me know if you do already + 1 entry

This giveaway will end on 10/30.

The fine print:

  • Per FTC guidelines: Anne Franklin Designs provided the giveaway item. They also gave me a necklace of my choice. I did not pay anything for this.
  • Contest  open to both US and Canadian residents!  (Yay Marlene!)
  • The winner will be chosen at random by
  • Check back October 30 to see if you won!
  • If I don’t hear back from the winner within 2 days after posting that they’ve won, I’ll another name

Good luck,


Sunday, October 24, 2010

Tricks of the Trade (video of me)

I promise I will stop talking about how much I hate crutches one of these days. Probably when I don’t have to use them anymore. For your sake (and mine) I hope that’s soon.

Yesterday, Sam and I were watching bad TV (new and favorite past time) when an ad for Kathy Griffin’s new stand up routine called “Whore on Crutches” came on. I couldn’t grab the remote fast enough to censor. Sam said, “"Do you think she named that show after you?” Watch it kid. You have to know my son to realize he means no disrespect. Now, even though Sam will be 13 in a couple of days, I try to protect him from the world of whores and the like.  But sometimes while watching Bravo stuff slips out like “Whores on Crutches.” Just hope that’s not my new nickname or someone might find themselves at boarding school.

Jenn from Running Sane (she should probably change her name to “Keeping Shut Up and Run Sane”) had a great idea for me. It looks like this (don’t mind my Sunday morning attire or my hairdo. I can really look like crap sometimes. Good thing no one reads this blog):

Don’t you like how I’m rolling around making all kinds of noise and Ken’s in the background measuring rope like nothing’s going on? Guess he’s used to my shenanigans.

You have no idea what a world this chair has opened up. I can now carry a plate to the sink and run over the dog at the same time. I’m just hoping I don’t fall off the chair or ride it down the stairs. You don’t even want to be dealing with me when I have a full body cast.

Whoreishly Yours, 


Saturday, October 23, 2010

It’s Official

My qualifying time of 3:42 has been verified and my name has been added to the formal entry list! (Just cause you registered doesn’t mean you’re in. You’re not in ‘til you’re IN).


As I sit here not being able to walk it is hard to imagine running this race in 176 days.

This entry verification is what I need to stay focused and optimistic. To get to the bottom of this injury and to heal into a faster, stronger and smarter runner.


  1. Tonight: Drink beer and eat wings (it is Saturday night after all).
  2. Next 2-3 weeks: Crutches. No weight on left leg at all. Possible swimming with a buoy. Oprah. Drive thrus. Ass growth. Unsolicited bouts of crying.
  3. Mid November: Introduce water running, swimming, walking, maybe cycling.
  4. January 1st: Walk/running.
  5. January 15: Start marathon training. By far my shortest training cycle (12 weeks), but it’s what I can do.

This is my wish list timeline. I could have setbacks. I could not heal swiftly. My doc seems to think I can run Boston and I’m going with that until further notice. I need to believe.

It’s kind of like a birth plan when you have a baby. You hope to high hell you don’t crap the delivery table or spew profanities at your husband or forget to breathe or wait too long to get the epidural or take drugs at all if you don’t want to. But on the day itself you have to be willing to surrender to reality for the health of you child, whatever that is. Best advice my doc ever gave me was to have a plan, but realize it might not go just so. Because much to my chagrin I did crap and I did spew and I did do drugs.

About running the marathon: “Believe and act as if it were impossible to fail.” – Charles Kettering

About the crutches and injury: “I never thought it was humanly possible, but this both sucks and blows.” – Bart Simpson

Blowing and sucking,


Friday, October 22, 2010

Slow Dancing with Girls

I am the queen of odd jobs: blackjack dealer, 7-11 cashier, French language translator, dishwasher in the college dining hall, caterer (that was so short lived I barely remember it except for a few failed cakes). If you want to sound nice, you can call me well rounded or a Jacquelyn of all Trades. If you don’t want to be nice, call me non-committal and indecisive. 

I’ll be honest in stating I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up (since elite running is out). After getting my MSW 15 years ago I started doing adoption/foster care work for social services, and that’s where I sit today. People always say, if you could do anything what would be your dream?  ‘Cause if you know that, then you will magically know where to direct your desires and energy and it will all come together.

I want to be on Dancing with the Stars (DWTS). I want someone to teach me how to dance for real, not just that white woman hip shifting I do at weddings. I want to have a fake tan that’s even and wear those skimpy dresses. I want to dance the tango with someone hunky, even if they get an erection. That’s what I want.

Speaking of erections, when middle school girls say they have it so much harder than boys, what with periods and breasts and mood swings, I always want to shake them and say, “But what about those unwanted hard-ons that boys have when they’re slow dancing with girls?!!” That’s got to suck. Does it, boys? (Don’t even get me started on wet dreams).

Probably DWTS is not in my near future. Maybe they will have a blogger edition and I will get picked. Along with Running Man Wannabe and one of those really fit girls with a food blog. What a great mix we would make. I will, of course, have to sign a legal contract promising I will not crap on the dance floor or in a judge’s lap. I for sure will do a better job than the ‘Hoff.

What do YOU want to be when you grow up?

This weekend I am entering the realm of another “job not related to my field.” I was asked by SkirtSports, inventors of the running skirt and makers of all types of sassy and practical running, cycling and triathlon wear, to represent them at an open house. I’ll be going to Genessee Mountain Fitness (in the foothills west of Denver) to sell/show clothing and talk about the mission of the company. I will get paid in clothing. Specifically, this clothing (don’t worry, no weight on the left leg/bad hip. Crutches are nearby):       


I really dig these skirts with the capri tights underneath (all one piece).

Being paid in clothes is good. That just takes out the middle man step of getting paid in money then going and spending it on clothes. This stuff is not cheap.

I also got this – the marathon girl ultra skirt:

Wait, not ready yet:


That’s better:


I think this outfit will go very well with crutches. I will assure everyone that the clothing did not cause me to get the crutches. I did that all on my own.

I will wear this clothing all day, everyday, even though I can’t run. I will wear it so that I can look like a runner even if I can’t be one right now. I will wear it until it has pit stains and dandruff and mustard marks. I will do this in honor of running.

It’s time for happy hour,


Thursday, October 21, 2010

I’ve Been a Bad Girl

Today’s wisdom:

Sam (to sister): Don’t pick your nose and then use my laptop.

That’s fair. I would go so far as to say, don’t pick your nose and touch or use anything. In fact, don’t pick your nose at all. One time (at band camp) when I was in high school I checked out Catcher in the Rye from the library. My impression of that book will forever be scarred by the fact that almost every page with slathered with someone’s dry boogers. Really? You’re going to wipe your boogers all over a book, a book that’s not even yours?

Sam is a wise one. He gets it from his mother. Not long ago we had this conversation.

Sam: Mom, guess what?

Me: What?

Sam: There are some girls in my class who have bigger boobs than you do.

Great, kick me when I’m down. Speaking of down…

We all have ways of coping when we life isn’t going how we’d hoped it would. One of my methods of not losing my mind is writing and connecting with people. Another way is to bake chocolate/butterscotch chip cookies the size of my head and drink wine, but that’s another story.  While I don’t want this blog to become a place of whining and negativity, there might be some of that in the weeks/months to come. The fact is that while this is a running blog, per se, I like to think it is also a forum for growth, humor, connectedness and exploration. It is also about overcoming adversity and moving forward.

That said, I’ve been a bad girl. A week ago I was given crutches and told to be use them for the next 7-10 days. I did that, mostly. But, around the house I cheated. I used one crutch because it was easier to carry my coffee, to put dinner in the oven, to open doors. Should I be surprised that I’ve gotten worse and not better? I now have increased pain in my hip. I cannot bear weight at all. I sit on my ass to put on my underwear. I sit in the shower. I am back to full on crutches 24/7 (I like to bring them into my bed).

I am worried about this injury. The hip is a tough place to heal, mostly due to lack of blood flow to the area. My doc says the hip is the worst place to get a stress fracture. It takes many people months before they can begin even some light running. Cross training is difficult because biking and elliptical put too much strain on the hip. With Boston on the horizon and less than six months away, I am praying for a swift and healthy recovery.

There is reason to be optimistic. People recover from hip stress fractures all the time and go on to do amazing things. Frayed Laces just completed the Ironman at Kona. Jenn at Running Sane (who has been a great support to me) incurred a hip stress fracture back in May and is now back to running 40 miles a week pain free. Elite runner Shannon Rowbury experienced a hip fracture in March 2007 and went on to the USATF Olympic Trials in 2008. So, it can be done.

And look, I can still do a timer shot, so all is not lost for the blog. My hair, on the other hand, is in trouble. Just don’t have the patience for stylin’ these days:


Problem is patience. While I’m all about optimism, I am also a realist. I will get better. I will run far again. Question is - will it happen in time for Boston? Next question is - how do I maintain sanity in the mean time? In all likelihood, I will not run again until January. I may not be able to swim or do much of anything else for another 6-8 weeks.zenandtheart

One place to find sanity: Zen and the Art of Running; The Path of Making Peace with your Pace. This book was suggested to me by another injured reader, David (he has a stress fracture of the osteitis pubis. He assures me it’s not an STD). 

If you haven't read this book, you should.  It’s about aligning your body with your mind to be the best runner you can be.  There is a chapter on injury that is so wise it’s ridiculous. It puts me a good mind space with talk of erasing self pity, controlling concerns about loss of fitness and handling withdrawal pains. Even if right now I can't be a runner I can be something else. Even if I can’t find joy in running I can find joy in something else. Half the battle is giving up the attachment.

An attachment to the idea that your efforts matter only if they can produce something permanent is guaranteed to cause you anguish.

If you run and haven’t been injured before (small percentage of us), you might not get any of this. You might think, just shut up and move on. Trust me, it’s not that easy.

Trying not to pick my nose,


Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Giveaway Winner and Freak in the Cereal Aisle

The winner of the $100 fitness challenge is #331 – DLW.  She wants to use the money to run her first marathon (at the age of 50!!) on May 1, 2011. Congrats!!


Moving on…

Today I rode the damn motorized cart at Target. I have been trying to avoid shopping because it is such a pain in the ass with crutches, but I couldn't put it off any longer. Here’s what annoys me about the cart:

  1. No cup holders. Don’t they know the disabled like coffee?
  2. When you back up the thing “BEEP BEEP BEEP”s like you’re a wide load coming through. It is so loud it’s like you’re on a construction site. My ass is not that large. Yet.

I couldn't muster the courage to ask someone to take my picture (“Hey Target team members! I have a blog!’ because who really cares), so I took it myself (I was feeling pretty serious about the whole thing):


Attention Target Team Members: There's a freak in the cereal aisle

Not to belabor the Boston Marathon registration/qualification subject, but check out these stats. Unreal:


Hard to say if it filled 65x as fast as last year because of the sheer increase in numbers of qualifiers (plus those backlogged from the previous year who BQ’d after registration closed), or if everyone freaked and bombarded the site all at once.

I thought you guys had some really good comments and insight regarding the qualifying standards and whether they should change. About 90% of you agreed something needed to give. Two comments in particular really stood out.

Dana makes some very good points that encourage us to look at the marathon itself, rather than just the glory of qualifying for Boston:

“Boston may be the oldest, have a lot of media coverage, a lot of prize money, a lot of hype, but for the middle of the crowd runner, is it really the best marathon? I would say absolutely not. Run Boston to add the finisher medal to your trophy case but with respect to the actual course, logistics of the race, quality of experience, etc. There are many marathons out there that I would easily rank above Boston.

Marathons are really about personal taste but for those of you reading who are not fast enough to qualify, don't get wound up about it, I would argue that there are better marathons out there that don't require qualifying times.

I have been running marathons and ultra marathons since 1982, I can't tell you how many because I stopped counting long ago. I grew up in a suburb of Boston and ran the marathon in 1983. I have been running the Denver Marathon for the last several yrs including this past Sunday. I have to say, I have enjoyed the Denver marathon far more than I enjoyed Boston and you don't need to qualify to run in Denver. Sometimes we make more out of the things we can't have than what they really warrant.”

The Mommy suggested the following in regards to possible changes in Boston qualifying standards:

“I like the idea of only having so many entries at each BAA Qualifying race for the top finishers in each age group (like Ironman), and you have to register right then and there or you lose your spot. That's gold.”

Just some food for thought,


Tuesday, October 19, 2010

My New Friend (Who Needs Enemies?)

Warning: Drama unfolding


We have been separated for about two weeks, running and me. I ache for it everyday. I see it all around me, yet it can’t be a part of me. Not now. I miss its comforting pace while taking me down a tree-lined road on a long run. I yearn for its drill sergeant voice that orders me to do one more Yasso even though I might throw up or crap my pants. I crave the words of wisdom and inspiration that light up my brain when we spend the morning on a trail by a lake looking at the mountains. I miss sharing the frosty winter mornings together when all is calm and barely light.

P1080039 Taken from my back deck this morning. Doesn’t suck to live in CO.

I know there are other friends like biking and swimming and yoga. They are good support systems too. They want me to be strong, yet they accept that I only spend time with them so I can go back to my first love - running.

You are right. It is not the end of the world to not be able to run. There are worse things. Much worse things. Children get hurt. Parents pass away. Cancer happens. The list goes on.

The thing about running, though, is it lessens the blow of all the really bad stuff. It accentuates the good.  It takes a mundane day and gives it purpose and insight. It provides a means of coping with the ups and downs of life. It is constant. It is always there. Well, almost always.

I know it will be back. We still have a lot to do together.

Upon its return we will be tentative and careful with one another. Eventually, we will test our relationship as we start training. We might have some ups and downs as we try to figure out how to be together in a new and healthy way that does not involve someone getting hurt. I will set boundaries and that will be painful at times. Most likely we will need to take things slow and understand when to back off.

At the end of the day running has not let me down. It has given me the gift of OMFOTG (One More F*cking Opportunity To Grow). And grow I will.

But, for now my new friend is crutch. He sucks the big one (and makes me look like an old, tired hag).


Trying to be patient,


Buzz Kill for Boston

I have to be the buzz kill. Someone's got to do it, right? I’m just like that person at the kegger who screams, “Someone just threw up on the tap!” Bummer.

In light of Boston Marathon registration yesterday (with a record setting 8 hour sell out), there continues to be talk of the women and qualification times. In case you missed the memo, it’s apparently too easy for women to qualify for Boston.

In an October 13 Wall Street Journal article entitled, “It's Time for Women to Run Faster,” authors Kevin Helliker and David Biderman outline how marathons have surged in popularity (especially amongst us women) over last few years. This explosion has vastly increased the number of people who qualify.  According to the qualifications standards set up in 1977, women get to run 30 minutes slower than men in order to obtain that coveted BQ.


Looking at elite runners for a moment – on average, the gap between women’s and men’s finishing times is (in fact) closer to 20 minutes and is decreasing all of the time. Running USA has collected data from 500 nationwide marathons that shows a gender difference in finishing times of about 28 minutes (keeping in mind, the study says, that many more women than men are “social” runners, going out to run with the girls and not to “race” or PR).

The authors sum up the male/female discrepancy like this:

In a nutshell, to make Boston, a 54 year old man had to run faster than the nation's youngest and fastest women.

There may be something wrong with that picture.

Some people think that we need to stop being soft on women. Back in ‘77 when the standards were enacted, women were viewed as more fragile, less physically able. Today, many women run faster than the men who won the Boston Marathon in the past (example: in 1927, the winner finished in 2:40. Since 1979, the women’s winner at the Boston Marathon finished in 2:35 or better).

In SUAR terms, we might have boobs (well, some men have those too), periods and the need for lots of coddling and emotional support, but we’re literally catching up to our male counterparts.

No tightening of standards is on the horizon, however, according to the executive director of the Boston Athletic Association. “With physiological advantages such as larger hearts and greater lung capacity, men (overall) will probably always run faster than women.” However, the data shows the gap is closing in. 40 years ago, the women’s world marathon record was 54 minutes behind the men’s. Now it’s 11  minutes.

Boston used to be only the elite club, and now we average Joes(ephines) are storming in with our tutus and running skirts. It’s kind of like when the nerds become popular – everyone feels a tad bit threatened, maybe a little put off. Just watch Glee and how those poor kids get slushied every week. No one wants them to edge into the “in” crowd and water it down.

All kidding aside, I am a Boston qualifier. After running for 1.5 years, I was able to BQ at my second marathon in May 2010. Not bragging, just making a point. I’m 43 and needed a 3:50 to qualify, and got a 3:42. That time is good enough to qualify in the 35-39 age group of 3:45 and only 2 minutes off of qualifying in the 18-34 age group of 3:40. Don’t get me wrong. This was not easy. I trained my ass off and on that day I could not have run a second faster. But, if Boston is truly meant to be the creme de la creme of runners nationwide, I’m pretty sure I don’t fall into that category, regardless of what my Garmin said.

Too easy? Maybe.

If the BAA cared what I thought and asked my opinion (right after Ryan Hall calls my house), I would say the standards need to be tightened for women. Easy for me to say since I’ve already BQ’d, right? I’m such a bitch.

Making the times 5 minutes faster would close the gap enough to reflect the current running trends. It would cut down on the number of qualifiers significantly. As anyone who runs knows, 5 minutes can make a HUGE difference.

I know women. I am one of them, vagina and all (last I checked). My guess is that if the standards were made more difficult, women would “man up” (excuse the term) and run faster. Sure it might take more tries to qualify, thereby making the prize even sweeter. We can be one determined bunch. Hate me if you want, just my humble opinion.

What are your thoughts?

Keeping it real,


Monday, October 18, 2010

Ryan Hall is on the Phone

First things first. After wanting to shove someone’s head into a wall, I am registered for the Boston Marathon 2011! I knew registration would be a fiasco, but it doesn’t make it any less frustrating.

Sam: Mom do we have any raisin toast?

Me: Don’t talk to me. I’m trying to register.

Emma: Is it like trying to get Taylor Swift tickets?

Me: Yep, only I didn’t have to run 3:42 for that.

Emma: Mom what does it mean if I have a temperature of 100 degrees and my ear hurts?

Me: Can’t talk. Trying to register.

Sam: Mom the house is on fire and Ryan Hall is on the phone.

Me: Don’t talk to me. Trying to register.

Okay. Got my confirmation email. Patriot’s Day and I have a date. Back to meeting everyone's needs.

What a weekend. I kept busy, mostly to forget that I wasn’t going to be running on Sunday. Problem is, with the damn crutches, there is no forgetting. My underarms are bruised. My right leg is twitching from having to carry all the weight. But, my ass has not yet grown in size and I’m hoping I can keep it that way over the next few inactive weeks.

We hit the expo on Saturday, then met some friends for lunch who you might recognize: Adam (Boring Runner), Tara (Tara Loves to Run) and Jill (Run with Jill). Ken, my kids and Adam’s wife, Tiffany, were there too:


There was beer involved which obviously helped Adam’s race (3:23) and Ken’s (1:44 – a 5 minute PR).

I liked the feeling of Jill’s Boston medal in my hands. Sorry, Jill. I think it’s stuck. I’ll give it back later. Have another beer and you’ll never know it’s gone. Quick kids, shove it down my pants.


“Gimpy”, “boring”, “heel injury” and “aching ass” (nicknames). Out of all of us only Adam was uninjured and about to run. He’s also the only one with a penis.


When the crutches got too painful:


Sunday sunrise as the kids and I headed to Denver at 7am, hoping to find Ken at the half finish


Always a good view coming into the city:


Getting to the finish was quite the effort. We parked, caught a shuttle, then I hobbled 5-6 blocks around puking runners and millions of annoying spectators (like me) just in time to see Ken cross the line.

Ken and kids at the half finish. A new medal and PR! What’s that growing out of his head?


I like this lime green jacket because it makes me look like I have boobs. Thanks, Vicki's Secret, for the padded bra.


Taking the shuttle back to the car so we could start tracking my friend Joie in the marathon. What the hell is Sam doing? He looks like he belongs with all the homeless folks out on the streets of Denver.


So…Joie was running her first ever marathon. She is also my guinea pig. I created her training plan and coached her to the start line. She got there healthy and strong (except for some diarrhea last week. Sorry, Jo, had to put that in). We managed to find her and cheer her on at miles 15, 18, 23 and the finish (runner tracking texts sent to your phone are the best invention ever). I love this picture. This is in Washington park at about Mile 15. Looking good!



Mile 18, also in Washington Park:


There she goes…


Here she comes!! 26.2 miles in 4:41. Rock star!


Here’s what I learned:

  • Everyone looks like shit at mile 23
  • Crutches in crowds suck, but can be used as a weapon to move people out of your way
  • If you have the time and the commitment, you can do it
  • Bloggers make for some very good friends
  • There is always another race
  • It’s easier to get Taylor Swift tickets than to register for Boston.
  • It’s easier to get Taylor Swift tickets than to qualify for Boston.
  • Watching your husband and dear friend cross the finish line after months of training makes up for being injured (well, almost)
  • Porta potties smell like shit

Tomorrow is another day,


Friday, October 15, 2010

$100 Giveaway for Fitness

So what if it’s 1:58 p.m. and I’m still in my pajamas? People who use crutches should be allowed to:

  • Stay in their PJs all day
  • Drop f-bombs rapidly and frequently
  • Hit or poke people or dogs with a crutch if they get in the way
  • Drink alcohol in copious amounts
  • Park in handicapped spots
  • Get any Starbucks drink they want for free
  • Elicit sympathy from everyone (Fedex guy, cops, etc), not just their mom (thanks for the apple pie, mom).
  • Decorate their crutches 

I’m going to endorse the Urban Dictionary’s definition of crutches:

Deathly pre-evolved devices with the purpose of aiding one with an injured leg, knee, ankle, etc. May cause drowsiness, sweating, and result in massive upper-body strength. Ultimately, makes one look like a badass god/goddess capable of surviving any difficult circumstance.

I really like the goddess/badass part.

Here’s the thing. If I can sit here with crutches by my side and a fractured hip in my body and still make a commitment to a fitness goal, so can you. In fact, I am so sure you can do this, that….

In honor of Jared (Subway guy) running his first marathon in NYC in November, Subway wants to give one of you up to $100 towards your own fitness challenge of your choice. This can be anything ranging from a race entry fee, a new class you want to try (Zumba? Tai Chi?), hiring a fitness coach of some sort, you name it. So, think about how you might want to Commit to Fit, especially if you had $100 to apply towards your goal.

Me? Duh! My $100 is going towards registering for the Boston Marathon on Monday.

Here’s how to enter (comment for each):

  1. Tell me what you would put your $100 of towards (this needs to be an activity you are committed to completing as a fitness challenge, not food, clothing, ipods, watches, etc)  +1 entry
  2. Write about this giveaway on your blog, FB, Twitter, etc. +1 entry
  3. Follow this blog or let me know if you do already + 1 entry
  4. Enter Subway’s FB sweepstakes HERE and let me know + 1 entry

This giveaway will end on 10/20.

The fine print:

  • Per FTC guidelines: Subway provided the (up to) $100 to be applied towards the winners fitness challenge. They also gave me a $100 to go towards my own challenge. I did not pay anything for this.
  • Contest only open to US residents. Sorry! 
  • The winner will be chosen at random by
  • Check back October 20 to see if you won!
  • If I don’t hear back from the winner within 2 days after posting that they’ve won, I’ll another name

For more information about the Commit to Fit program and for a chance to win up to $26,200 please visit the Subway Facebook page at

Here’s to getting fit,


Thursday, October 14, 2010

Lululemon Giveaway Winner and Trying to Stay Positive

The winner of the Lululumeon gift card and yoga stuff is Laura from She Did It (and now she wants more). Please email me at with your address and we’ll get  you your stuff. Congrats!

F*cking stress fracture.

I think I finally figured it out -the key to blogging success. If you want to get a quick 170 comments on your blog, get a stress fracture. Preferably get it right before the race for which you’ve been training to drum up more sympathy. Throw in a panic attack in the MRI machine and you’re golden.

In all honesty, you have no idea what your 170 comments have meant to me. I read each and every one. In fact, last night I posted about the injury quickly, then we went out for dinner wine and crying in my crutches. By the time I got back, there were already a boatload of comments. I sat and read and sobbed. Not only do you guys get it, but not one of you told me to give up running. You all told me to fight. You made me feel like I could make a comeback and go to Boston on April 18, 2011.  I am signing up for that damn marathon on Monday and my ass will be at that start line in April. I didn’t bust my butt to get my BQ, only to give up now. Femur neck stress fracture be damned.

And, to think before yesterday’s doc appointment I actually thought the femur neck was in the neck (as in the thing that holds up your head). When Google-nosing in the days leading up to the MRI, I was sure that wasn’t my problem because my neck was just fine. I wondered what the hell kind of person injures their neck and can’t run due to hip pain. Losers. Look, I never said I was good at anatomy. Hurting myself and crapping my pants are my specialties.

Giving up this weekend’s race and the reality of not running for the next few months is devastating. You would have thought someone died around here last night. But, if you know anything about me, you know I don’t stay down for long. There are worse things than not being able to run (I guess. Are there really?). I need to focus forward. To stay positive. To take all that energy I put into running and put it into something spectacular.

Are stripper pole lessons weight bearing? Doesn’t look like it:


But then my kids might draw this:


After much pondering, this is the question: If you run so much you fracture your bones are you a devoted and/or hard core runner or just stupid?

Let’s break it down. This is my second stress fracture in 13 months. I have only been running for 25 months. Those are some shitty odds for sure (even if I did qualify for Boston between the two fractures – cha cha). Some may think I train poorly or take a hammer to my bones to get attention. Let me tell you what I think.

I train hard. Very, very hard. But, I am reasonable. 

  • I follow the ten percent rule.
  • I keep my mileage low (35-50 miles per week).
  • I take my daily calcium (1000 mg) with Vitamin D (800 IU).
  • I only run four days a week and take at least 1-2 days when I do absolutely nothing but rest.
  • I cross train.
  • I stretch and build strength with yoga.

For shit’s sake, bones, what do you want?

Seems my bones may be weak (duh). I will be that 90 year old woman on a cruise ship who breaks her hip (hopefully running on the ship’s track), and have to be med-evaced out by helicopter. But, at least I went down running.

I am in a high risk category for weak bones: female, white, single (that was a movie I think), thin, history of a previous fracture. I will now have a myriad of tests: blood, bone density, etc. to see why this is happening. It could be that a hormonal or metabolic imbalance is causing my bones to fracture. It could be biomechanics. Maybe I have one leg that is longer than the other and I need a lift in my shoe (freak!) or some special orthotics. Lord, don’t give me these:


I’m not sure how the cheetah skirt would look with those kicks. I wonder if Dean K. would like them. Aaahh, Dean K. Wonder what he is doing now (probably running the Chicago Marathon for the 49th time since Sunday without water or food) and if he knows the peril of his favorite running partner.

Whatever the cause and whatever the case, I am getting to the bottom of this injury.  In the mean time, I’m trying not to cry whenever I pass a runner in my car or someone mentions the word “marathon” (even when talking about back to back TV reruns). It will be okay, right?

Trying to stay positive,