Thursday, December 27, 2018

The Time I Got Kidnapped

Okay, duh, I didn't really get kidnapped (who does that?), but I needed an excuse for not blogging since November 10. And, let's be honest, I need the click bait at this point.

Wow. Longest stretch of no blogging for me EVER. Why? Lots of reasons. Gone to Thailand for 2 weeks followed by jet lag with a side if diarrhea followed/combined with excessive work load topped off by a nasty respiratory virus that has me sounding like I have smoked all of the legal pot in the state of Colorado. It's sexy. Then the holidays, yeah those sneaky days of over-cooking, drinking and socializing. I am alive, but barely.



Also, do you find that when you haven't written for awhile, shit piles up and it is all the harder to start writing again? There is so much to say - I don't know where to start so I don't say anything. And, at this point in time I can't say anything because my voice is non existent. Oh, and I still don't have a tooth (the implant I got in September failed, which happens to 2% of people. Just lucky I guess. Instead of getting a new tooth for Christmas, I'm hoping for one for Ash Wednesday - in March). When I say SEXY, I mean SEXY. 51 years old has never looked so good.

Thailand. Oh Thailand. The land of the Thais (<I made that up). There is way to much to say so I'll just do a huge photo dump and let that do the talking. Suffice it to say, I've probably never been somewhere where the people were so kind and gracious. Or a place that as so vastly different in every way, shape and form. I've traveled a fair amount, but I've never spent time in  Southeast Asia at all. Now I'm hungry to do so much more exploring! Bring on Vietnam (the place of PHO, pronounced FEH!) India! Indonesia! All of it.

But, could we skip the 30 hour travel thing? That's kind of a drag.

Hey, guess what? You can avoid that 30 hour travel thing and just look at these pictures. Totally the same thing as being there.

Just as a recap - We spent the whole time in Chiang Mai, which is the second largest city to Bangkok and the largest city in northern Thailand. My son, Sam, who goes to ASU, is spending a semester there. I'm not sure if there is a place kids party more than at ASU, but if there is it is Chiang Mai.

The first day we got there and under the influence of no sleep and bombers of Chiang Beer I took photos of stuff that caught my attention. Like this strange man with a large belly and small other things (next to a pussy).


In Thailand, 7-11 is everything. Need a tube of lube? Got you covered. Need a bag of lobster flavored potato chips? This is your place!


The best way to get around is the "Red Truck" or Songthaew . You just hop in and hope they are going where you are going. Also, if you call an Uber (or a "Grab" in Thailand) this is often what shows up. It would be about $3 for us to go wherever we wanted.




Here is my friendly Grab driver. I call him Pong for short.



The cable system is very advanced in Thailand. Even the graffiti below thinks it's funny.



If you're not taking a red truck, chances are you're taking a Tuk Tuk. Think motorcycle with a little open air car on the back.


This is my favorite dish - Khao Soi - the specialty of Northern Thailand. You need this in your life if you love savory coconut milk infused with curry, chili and soft egg noodles and topped with crunchy noodles. J'adore this dish. Come over and I will make it for you.


In Thailand, which is almost completely Buddhist, it is expected that a man will be a monk at some point in his life, even if only for a week. Here are two of my monk friends. I prefer the lighter color robe. This was at Doi Suthep the most famous temple in Chiang Mai, high on a mountain above the city (which we did hike).



Image result for doi suthep
I did not take this picture

These are bugs for sale. I only ate one plate, the one on the right. You take weird shits after.


Let me introduce you to Savanna, Sam's girlfriend, who I have a crush on as well.


This is me. Big Mama does not care that I do not have a tooth. We went outside of the city to an elephant sanctuary called Elephant Empire. It was magical. There were three elephants (mom was 26, one kid was 5 and one baby was 11 months). We fed them, took them into the jungle for a bamboo snack and washed them in the river. I now would like a pet elephant.



This was when the baby elephant "attacked" Ken. Baby elephants are strong and they like middle aged men with sexy dad bods.


As I said, I need a pet elephant who will toss me around. Do I have something between my legs?


Best senior picture ever



Just some amazing Pad Thai the elephants served up.


Not sure what is going on here. Probably has something to do with that giant Singha beer in my hand. This was at Huay Tung Tao Lake outside of Chiang Mai. They have these bamboo huts you can rent on the lake where you sit and drink big beers and wear your hair over your face.


SINGHA magic with a lake view



Sam appears to be having a bad day



We rented motor bikes, which I found extremely stressful in the Chiang Mai traffic. One day I will tell you the story of how I made a wrong turn and got lost for over an hour. I had all of our phones, so no one could rescue me. And, I cried on the Thai streets alone and overwhelmed. But I lived to tell about it and it made me stronger as a person.


I found an ox made out of stone and had my way with it.


I found these in the night market. I still cannot decide which one I like best. Probably the Rasta one with hair (i.e., pubes). There is some fine shopping in Thailand!


This is my new friend Tae. He taught me to cook really good things - spring rolls, pad thai, khao soi.


Our hotel (U Nimman) lobby.


I was very excited to find this shop near our hotel. It gave me an idea for my next money making scheme. I think people would want to buy human poop as much as elephant poop, no?


We got Thai massages as a family. Here they are washing Sam and Ken's feet before entering the massage place. These massages were given by ex-prisoners who are learning a new trade. Massages are $7 per hour so if for no other reason, you need to go to Thailand.



I have a million more pictures. But that is too much already!!

Suffice it to say you need to visit this place. Do it for the food! The wonderful people! The elephant poop! The warm weather that makes your hair frizzy! The massages (happy endings are available, but we passed. Didn't seem like the family thing to do). Another reason to go?? It is SO cheap. The only expensive part is the 30 hours of flying to get there.

Since this is supposedly a running blog - I did not run outside in Thailand. Chiang Mai streets are really busy and although there are kind of sidewalks, they are clogged with lots of things (trees, people, trash cans, motor bikes). I never really saw any parks with running paths. I did run on the hotel treadmill twice. Yay me. Now I'm out of shape.

Leave me a comment! Let me know you still care!

Which bottle opener would you choose? 

Would you eat a dead/fried bug?

Ever been to Thailand?

Favorite place you've traveled?

SUAR

Saturday, November 10, 2018

Tonight, I Sleep On A Plane



We are off to Chiang Mai, Thailand tonight to visit Sam, elephants, temples, Pad Thai, Chang beer and humidity. I can't wait! If you want to follow along....follow my Instagram HERE. My stories and I would love to have you.

Image result for map of thailand


My friend, Sylvie, is living in Chiang Mai right now and sent me this casual picture from her hike the other day.


Yes, it definitely is another world.

There's lots I'm excited about - I've traveled some, but never to southeast Asia and I welcome the vast difference in culture - food! language! customs! All of it. On Friday we will visit an elephant sanctuary that is part of the Karen Tribe. We will feed and bathe the elephants and I hear there is a new baby!

If you've ever been to Thailand (we are not going to Bangkok or the islands most likely - probably will stay in the northern region), let me know what you saw and did that you loved!

We're coming for you Sammy Boy.






Until next time...

SUAR

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

Getting Older Can Make You Slow(er) AF, But Does It Have To?


For the past two to three years (well, since I turned 50), I've become a slower runner. Shocker. Any one else? Raise your hand if you can relate.

I can't blame myself. It's a proven fact that as you age you get slower. Why else are age group requirements for Boston "easier" as you get older? The BAA has to know what they are talking about.

In actuality, shit happens to the body as we age. Gravity takes hold and things like boobs and nut sacs droop. Hair (including pubes apparently - my mom of all people told me this) get gray. Wrinkles show up making road maps across our foreheads and around our mouths and eyes. Sometimes we pee ourselves, or worse. Hence the enormous number of Depends commercials you see during the evening news.  Don't even get me started on my neck. It is becoming a shit show.


Depend FIT-FLEX Incontinence Underwear for Men, Maximum Absorbency, S/M, Gray (Packaging may vary)
I think this guy as "bigger" issues than wetting his pants
But, there is also physiology to why we might become slower as we age. As the years pile on, the body, unfortunately, tends to break down. Our ability to take in oxygen decreases. We lose flexibility. Muscle strength lessens. 

Just shoot me now.

Woah...wait. Let's knock off the pity party.

The thing is, once you buy into the fact that you are going to be slower and it is simply your fate, something psychologically takes hold. We begin to not only accept this as truth, but it becomes our excuse for slowing down. We basically give in as our minds continually tell us a story about our limitations.

Again, there is validity to what happens to the body as we age. But we can fight it like hell. Sure, maybe we'll never see those times we did 20 or 30 yeas ago, but there is still hope.

There's a reason I was inspired to write this post.

I'm always floored by older runners who are kicking ass, but last weekend I saw it up front and personal. I did a ten mile trail race. Granted it was not super technical and didn't have a ton of elevation gain,  ten miles is ten miles and there were still a couple of decent climbs. This was my longest race back since getting injured in May, so I was happy to finish in 1:40, good enough for 2nd in my age group.


Later, Ken and I were looking at the results. Guess who WON the race? Take into account that there were a ton of youngsters running this race.

Dan - 57 years old - with a pace of 7:18

The first woman came in 5th overall with a pace of 7:36

And then there's Mark who at age 67 came in 10th with a 7:52 average pace

I would love to hook up with these bad asses and find out their secret. My guess is they train hard including strength and cross training. They probably are also unwilling to make the excuse that age HAS to make them slower. They train their mental muscles too.

So, what can we do? First, train our brains to believe. Strength train. Take our calcium. Keep moving. And, most importantly, just because we slow down does not mean we can't still have big goals and strive for them!




What have you noticed in your body as you've gotten older?

Are you slower than we were 10, 20, 30 years ago?

SUAR




Thursday, October 4, 2018

Running, You've Ruined Me


You know how when you've been in first class on an airplane (this has only happened to me once on our honey moon to Greece when we begged the TWA person to upgrade us ((not because we had status but just because)). We we had just gotten married and she actually did put us in seats 4A and 4B - TWA doesn't exist anymore and neither do those kinds of "gifts") and then you go back to coach and you're like, "Uh, no. Coach is SO slumming it. Cannot deal with the masses of people farting and picking their toe jam. Please allow me up beyond that blue curtain again."

This is on Mykonos after the First Class flight. I am happy and topless.
I know my kids will like this picture. You're welcome
Or, when you drink Milwaukee's Best for your entire college career and then you move to Colorado and try a Fat Tire craft beer (no, not making a reference here to how better the Rockies are than the Brewers, don't read too much into it) and you're like, "I will never drink piss again, only amber liquid gold for me."???

That's how running is for me. Running has ruined me for all other things that raise my heart rate.

Anytime I've been injured, I've done what most runners do and they dreadfully go back to cross training. There was even a time I actually spent an entire training season pool running to train for the Boston Marathon (2011) because I had a femoral stress fracture. I would go to the pool on crutches, put that floater belt thing on and "run" in the deep end for an hour at a time. I told myself I would do this even when I was healthy because it was great exercise and prevented injury. Did I once do it when I was healed? Hell.No. I dropped that shit like Shalane did during the porta potty stop at the Boston Marathon.

Image result for shalane porta potty
It took her 16 seconds. To poop. Champ

***On a side note, the pool running worked as I did run Boston in pretty good shape for not training. So, go do it but don't ask me to join you.

My point being - throughout this injury (complete hamstring tear on May 11 after a terrible fall, read and weep HERE), I have resorted back to cycling, walking, swimming, even the elliptical to stay fit while I couldn't run. Just a couple weeks ago (and after I'd been back to running for a couple of months) my leg started hurting and I was so scared I had re-injured myself. So, I got back on my bike riding for 25 miles at a time up and down hills. Then I started walking as fast as I could without running (I can actually walk a 12 min/mile pace. You try it. I might look like a ridiculous, middle aged, middle class white woman trying to break a sweat, but that is what I am).

But, let me tell you - the minute I thought it was safe to break into a run (i.e., no pain) that is what I did. And, if I CAN run I am ignoring all other things like cycling, swimming and white woman fast walking because they are all dead to me.

This is a weird picture from today's run. I appear to be walking but NO I am running.
I really hate walking. I find it boring

Running has ruined me that way.

Not to say I don't love my bike. I do. I had a love affair with cycling long before running (and I actually think I'm a better cyclist than a runner). But somehow it just doesn't give me that same high and sense of accomplishment like first class on TWA or a cold Fat Tire beer.

Boulder 703. When can I run?
Clearly, I enjoy the sport of triathlon or I wouldn't have done two Ironmen ("did" two Ironmen sounds dirty). But, there is just something about running. I know you get it.


Do you cross train? 

What's your go-to thing when you're injured? (besides Cheetos and The Office)

Ever flown first class? (btw, you are rich)

Favorite beer? I don't drink much beer, but when I do I really like Fat Tire and Samuel Adams Oktoberfest

SUAR

Wednesday, September 12, 2018

Why I Might Re-Name This Blog

Well, not really, but it does occur to me it would be รก propos to rename it Toothless Runner or Running With a Flipper given the current circumstances.

Here is the toothless part, plus a filter cause I'm old and wrinkled:



Here is the flipper part:



Here is the result when you combine the two.




My mouth surgery sucked the big one (insert eggplant emoji + a mouth here). For info on why I had the surgery, go HERE.

I kind of pride myself on not being afraid of the dentist cause I've had so much work done in my life, nothing phases me. So, I went into this whole tooth extraction/implant thing pretty chill. That was until they started roughing me up with all of their tools like forceps and hammers and vibrators (if only) and I was profusely sweating and squirming in the chair.

Side note: I don't like knowing they are yanking out my teeth. At all. It didn't hurt cause I was shot up with Novocaine, but I was stressed. They offered laughing gas and I took it gladly, but it didn't make me laugh at all and really did very little to take the edge off.

I continued sweating and squirming and groaning like a whore in church? <- does that fit here?

This whole thing was taking longer than anyone expected, so I knew things weren't going as planned. Turns out they had to do a bone graft to make the implant more stable. I'm not sure whose bone I have in my mouth now (that's what she said) but I hope it's Meb's or someone like that. After I got boned, they sent me next door to my dentist who had hoped to put a temp crown on but could not because the implant needs to get stronger.

That means the flipper and I are bonded for 10 weeks. 10 WEEKS.

The flipper goes on all my runs! The flipper will go to Thailand! The flipper hangs out with me in bars! That is, until I order food, then the flipper is taken out and I eat food in public without a tooth. Good thing Halloween is right around the corner.

Just me taking the flip out on a trail run so I could have a Clif Blok
I'm happy to report that pre-flipper I managed to run a 10k on Labor Day.

I had very low expectations given this slow injury comeback...I really wanted to break an hour but knew that was debatable. Then, guess what??? I ran it in 57 minutes, about a 9:15 pace. I am as shocked as you are. Here I am at the finish. I was glowing with sweat and pride. This was actually good enough for 12th/64th in the 51 year old lady age group.



So, yes, running is finally improving slightly - four months post injury. Just in time for September in Colorado, which is my favorite month. I am thinking of doing THIS ten mile trail race in October.

What's up with you?

SUAR (or RT or RWAF)



Thursday, August 30, 2018

The Key to Happiness and Guess Where I'm Going? (hint: it's 8,241 miles away)

The theme for this month (okay, well it's almost next month, so the theme for next month) is...

LETTING GO

Yeah, so damn cliche.

But, it is truly the key to life and eternal happiness. Because if you can start to let go of the way you think things should be and accept how they actually ARE, you will be infinitely more content.

Letting go does NOT mean giving up. They are two very different things. It's more about acceptance than it is about apathy and laying down and becoming a total victim of your life.

Case in point. This injury of mine. It was making me crazy. Every single run has been a sufferfest of frustration because I am not progressing fast enough. Or, I am not where I used to be. Or, I will never be where I used to be.

Every run felt sucky, not just physically, but also mentally. If fact, I had a slight temper tantrum on the trail on Saturday because nothing felt good and everything felt like shit and I was hot and tired and people were passing me and it felt like I had to work for every.single.fucking.step (only Ken witnessed the tantrum, so I'm not sure it really happened). As I continued to climb up this small mountain at a snail's pace, I thought, "Screw this. I'm done running for awhile. I need a break. Maybe running just isn't my thing."

Well, we all know that's not true.

Coming down the mountain once my heart rate wasn't 300 bpms anymore and my leg wasn't screaming, I re-thought my idea to quit running. Instead I thought, "NO! That's not me. I don't give up. I'm going to continue to recover from this injury like is my JOB." I'm pretty dramatic.

What I ended up doing with that mess of emotions is this. I LET GO. This week I've been holding back when I run. I have been running slower and at a pace I can sustain without walking. I've accepted that right now and as I recover I'm slower. But I'm still a runner, dammit. I decided to be kind to myself about this. Maybe my speed will come back, maybe it won't. But, I want to love running and I don't want to be frustrated every single time I go out.

And, guess what? Not only have my runs felt really good (my leg still gets tired but that's not going to kill me), I am running at faster paces without even meaning to. Once I accepted being slower, it was a breakthrough somehow. MAGIC.

This is me running my new slower pace, which allowed me to run for 3.5 miles without stopping.
MAJOR milestone from where I was just a couple of weeks ago.

My lesson for today.

#1 - Stop trying to control something that is making you crazy the more you try to control it and the less it is working

#2 - Be kind to yourself

#3 - Accept where you are and where things are. Sometimes this means being willing to let go of your expectations of how things SHOULD be.

#4 - Realize everyone struggles, no matter what your social media feeds say

I love running again. I'm happy.

Oh, and guess what? I'm going to Thailand for 12 days in November!! I'm going to play with elephants! I'm going to eat street food! I'm going to get $10 massages without happy endings! I'm going to meet a Buddhist monk! I'm going to make sure my son is still alive! I'm not going to hang out in caves! I'm not going to drink the water and get giardia and diarrhea!


Tell me one thing you're hanging onto that you're going to let go of this week (magic will happen, I promise)

Last place you traveled to? Nevis/St. Kitts

Dream vacation? Thailand and going back to Greece. Morocco.


SUAR

Thursday, August 16, 2018

Coffee Date (With a Side of Alcohol)

If we were having coffee there would be many things I would want to share with you. Probably the most fascinating things you've ever heard. First of all, the new season of STDs in Paradise (aka Bachelor in Paradise) has begun so that's breaking news for sure. If you've never watched show you are: 1) better than me, and 2) not missing out on anything.

Moving on. If we were having coffee (I'd prefer mine with a splash of Bailey's) I'd tell you how post injury running is going. It's going to hell. My trail runs feel the best with the variety of terrain and ascending/descending, but the flats on the road/path suck. My left leg still doesn't want to join the party, i.e., it's weak and temperamental, but I press on. I still have not brought myself to run on that very short stretch of road that I fell on. Maybe it's PTSD, maybe I'm a pussy or maybe I'm just superstitious, but that little part of the road by my house is off limits right now. It's a dangerous black hole of misery and destruction.

From Saturday's trail run. Perhaps I shouldn't do this if I don't want to tear another hamstring.

If we were onto our second cup of coffee (+ ounce of Kahlua), I'd tell you another great fear I now have are chocolate chip cookies. This may sound innocent enough, but while eating one on Sunday, this happened.

#missingtooth + #ropeyneck = sexy

Granted the cookie was hard and frozen, my crown snapped off (tooth and all) and plummeted to the floor. Heidi swooped into eat what she thought was part of a cookie and I had flashes of me going through her fecal matter for the next two days to fish out my crown (then having it put back in). I freaked out and pushed her away, safely taking the crown to higher ground. I don't know why but I started crying about all of this (probably because my family could not even look at me without bursting out laughing). I just feel so accident prone. In the past year I have:

Been head butted by a dog, resulting in this (October 2017)




Fell on a run severely tearing my hamstring (May 2018)

That is not grape jelly


Knocked out my own tooth eating a frozen cookie (August 2018)



What the hell is next? Impaling myself on some rebar? Is this what the 50s are like? Don't answer that.

Anyway, all of this is requiring a tooth extraction, implant and new crown. And it only costs $3,000!  That's 30 race entries or 15 new Garmins or 30 pairs of new running shoes or 3,000 GUs! Dentists and insurances are crooks.

If we were having coffee with a splash of Baileys (hold the coffee) I'd tell you that Emma's first day of senior year is today!!

New Vans - check. Hydroflask - check. Holey jeans - check. Must be a teenage girl.

And, Sam leaves for a semester in Chiang Mai, Thailand on Tuesday. Holy fuck. I guess that means I need to get a life. My kids are moving on and so should I. In fact, Sam will spend his 21st birthday in Bangkok (cue all the cock and prostitute jokes as well as the humming of "One Night in Bangkok". I've come up with several renditions of that song that I sing to Sam regularly. Mostly the songs involve him not getting incarcerated, not impregnating a Thai girl and not going for any "happy endings.")

If we were finishing up our whiskey concoction (did I tell you we had moved onto Irish coffees?) I would tell you that I am doing a 10k on Labor Day and I'm positive it will be the slowest 10k of my life. I am also thinking of a doing a half marathon trail race in Crested Butte, CO in September. Sure, I'm not really in race shape, but the trails feel good to me and I need something to perk me up besides singing "One Night in Bangkok."

One more thing before I drain the last bit of this cup 'o joe. So, I love the blog Pinch of Yum. She's real, her recipes are good. I got curious last week when she posted a recipe for vegan queso. Queso, by definition is hot cheese dip. This recipe involved putting cashews, water, green chilis and taco seasoning into a food processor 'til smooth. Then it would apparently and magically be queso. I had to try it because it sounded so weird. And, weird it was. I would not call this queso. I would call it ground up cashews with green chilis and taco seasoning (dog poop). Don't be fooled.

Well, that's all I got.

Tell me something you'd share if we were having coffee/alcohol together?

Ever been to Thailand (Chiang Mai)? Where should we stay/see if we go?

Do you have a fall race planned?



SUAR


Tuesday, July 31, 2018

The Long Road Back from Injury: Frustrating as Hell!

I must have been high or something because when I was given the "go ahead" to run for 2 minutes at a time (2 minutes run/2 minutes walk for 16 minutes and build from there) back at the end of June I thought it would be a piece of cake. After all, the hamstring was healed and running is, like, what I DO! (of course in full disclosure I NEVER did 16 minutes. More like 56 minutes because I don't listen).

Major wake up call. When I ran, I felt as if I had never run before. My leg tired so easily and I honestly could barely even run the 2 minutes. I kept at it, running 4 to 5 miles a day, doing the run/walk thing.

I did that for WEEKS. Do you know how long it takes to run/walk 5 miles? I bet you do. People do it all the time. I am just not a patient person, however. So, averaging 12:30 miles was humbling as hell. And, it wasn't getting any better. I can actually have some patience if I see improvement. But after three weeks of being back to "running" nothing felt better. It might have even felt worse. Sure, I did the relay, but those miles were rough on me. I never got into a groove, I could hardly run for more than 4-5 minutes at a time before walking and my poor leg felt like a huge ham hock that I was dragging behind me.

Trails feel WAY better to me these days than road. I might look "okay" here, but I'm pretty
sure I was hyperventilating.

Fast forward to today and all of the complaining I'm doing to my PT (they must get SO sick of us). I'm a bit shy of three months out from the injury. I'm still struggling. Well, I say that but I can now average a 10:13 mile and that includes some walking. That is definitely progress, but is is really hard not to compare where I was pre-accident.  I am less concerned with pace than I am with how I feel. I'm not sure how/why I still feel so out of running shape. I've had some major drying needling the past few weeks and have done a gait analysis to make sure I'm not doing anything too wonky. I'm not.

So, here I am, just a girl trying to be patient and grateful that I can do anything at all. Blah blah blah.  I just wonder when I'll feel like my old self again. Running is hard enough as it is, but when one minute you are on top of your game and the next minute (literally) you are laying in the street and can't walk, it's discouraging.

And life goes on. I think if the rest of my life felt really in place, maybe all of this wouldn't bug me so much. But it doesn't. I lay awake in the middle of the night last night (as I do most nights between 2am and 3am), knowing that I cannot be the only person who is 51 years old and feels a bit lost. Kids are leaving the nest. My career has been successful but I'm just not sure it's what I want to do anymore - and if it's not what I want to do, what the hell DO I want to do? What the hell am I actually QUALIFIED to do if not what I do now?

I can't believe I'm sharing this; I have no shame. Ken took this of me the other night. Proof that I sleep
really HARD before I am wide awake from 2am to 3am


People tell you you can do and be whatever you want. Not really. You know I'm the first person to chase dreams and big goals, but at 51, there are some things that are a bit out of the question for me now (probably won't be a heart surgeon or the POTUS). Then I start to have regrets about career choices I've made and not made. I basically have made the choices I did because I wanted to be home with my kids. I'm proud of that. But, that meant a job where I could work from home. I've been good at it and the job has been really fulfilling, but I'm just entering a new phase I suppose.

Enough on all that. Just being real here. Then I go to hospice with Heidi today and get some much needed perspective. All of what I love and value is right here in front of me right now. But if I could run normal again, that would be great, yeah thanks.

Seriously. Wouldn't she comfort you? I can't even with this picture.

What's your job? Can you see yourself doing it for years to come?



SUAR