Thursday, August 15, 2019

A Different Kind of Race + Taint Talk

I seriously ghosted every single one of you for the past six weeks. I am a douche.

I'm a believer that the best writing comes from a desire to write not an obligation. And, I just haven't been feeling it. Never fear - I'm still out here doing my thing. Since the Dirty Thirty 50K I've kicked my triathlon training into high gear to get ready for the Harvest Moon 70.3 in Boulder next month.

But last weekend I did a trail race just to mix things up. It was the Cirque Series - A Basin. You've likely never heard of this series. Neither had I. I thought maybe I was joining Cirque du Soleil and I'd have to contort myself to the point of seeing my own taint - but NO! This is a newer series that goes to more extreme locations and makes people run up idiotic mountains with steep drop offs and bipolar weather.

I'm into that kind of thing (better than the taint business. Did you know a taint is basically the same as a perineum? There is this add for medication that comes on during the 6 o'clock news that actually uses the word "perineum" ((there is some side affect - like gangrene of the perineum? Who first discovered that?)) any way, I am always yelling at the TV "IT'S A TAINT"!! Or, that's what the Urban Dictionary would say).

Speaking of the Urban Dictionary. Here is a funny side story that has nothing to do with a taint or the race. My parents, who are 80,  were recently at a concert in Boulder at this famous place called Chautauqua, you know it if you live here. So the eighty year olds were wondering what Chautauqua meant, so my dad Googled it. Somehow it immediately took him to the Urban Dictionary (a foreign land for my dad) and he found out Chautauqua actually meant "liquid shit." He shared this with all of his octogenarian friends, who rightfully questioned if that was the true meaning. Turns out it really means "an adult education movement," but that is so...YAWN compared to liquid shit. I love my dad.

Moving on. So, this race was at the A-Basin ski area, about an hour outside of Denver. A-Basin is located at 10,800 feet which means you can't breathe for (liquid) shit. It was only 7 miles, but the first half was extremely uphill (as in you are climbing up the ski mountain to the top of a peak). We ran (if you can call it that) up to almost 13,000 feet. Here's what it looked like:

View on the way up
Just a little stroll along the ridge

Hello. Can I please take your baby home and raise him with my Golden Retriever?

Can you see me?

As we came down, we actually encountered some trees, which can be rare at 10,000 + feet.

The whole race I was thinking how I just did not want to come in last because the average age was probably 30 and everyone's bodies were perfect and boobs were taut and muscles were tight (don't look at my 52 year old gut).

But I won my age group (50 to 59) because there were only four of us and that is why I like getting older.

A fun and adventurous day. If you're in Utah, Colorado, Idaho or Alaska and are looking for a thrill, check out the series.