Monday, November 13, 2017

13 Things We Probably Don't Agree On

If you thought I was going to discuss religion or politics - you would be mistaken! I won't touch those subjects with a ten foot pole. Or, my finger toe.

Morton's toes rule! So do pedicures, but clearly
I'm out of the loop on that one.
Over the years I've realized there are things I like and hate that seem to completely go against the grain of civilization. Maybe this is true for everyone, I don't know. But, sometimes I feel like an oddball with my preferences. Don't know what I'm talking about? Read on.

1. I cannot run with a hand held bottle. I know I should, but it just feels wrong to me, like it throws me off balance. And, I hate running with anything in my hands. I know if I continue doing trail races and eventually ultras, I should probably get the hang of it, but for now it's just not my thing. I always go for my Hydraquiver from Orange Mud.

2. I don't like or eat ice cream. The taste is okay, but not worth the calories to me. And, it also sometimes make me feel shitty. Maybe it's an aversion from when I drank a huge milk shake that resulted in my most embarrassing moment ever (see HERE). So, don't ask me to go to DQ or anything like that. I'd rather go to a wine bar.

3. I like Atloids, but I can't handle a whole one (that's what she said), so I suck on it for about 30 seconds and spit it out (that's what she said). This is usually done in my car where I keep the Altoids. Once a month I pick up the semi-sucked on mints from the floor and throw them away.

4. I can't stand Monty Python movies and I especially can't stand when people quote from the movie and try to do the accent.

5. I hate my bare feet on the floor. I have to have slippers on my feet in my house. Always.

I knitted these. JK, they came from Kohls.

6. When I'm running with someone they have to be on my right side. It's just how it is. That works out really well when we are on the road because I'm always on the inside and then I am not the one to get hit by the car first.

7. I hate rum. And, gin. So when I visit the Caribbean I don't do all those daiquiris, Mai-Tais etc. And any martini I have is vodka based.

8. I don't like Twitter and rarely use it. Just not my thing.

9. That book, A Man Called Ove? Didn't love it. I know this will make me very unpopular. People have extreme love for that book. In fact, people at my book club asked me, "Do you even have a heart?"

A Man Called Ove: A Novel by [Backman, Fredrik]

10. I don't understand all the hype about Nutella. Don't hit me.

11. When I go to Starbucks I always get straight coffee. Don't like the fancy drinks.

12. Please don't ask me to put pineapple on my pizza. I don't get it.

13. I don't spend any time in the bathroom when I poop. I'm in and out in about 2 minutes flat. I don't see any reason to hang out in there. I can think of better places to spend my time.

I could probably go on and on, but this is a good start.So, now it's your turn to tell me how much you disagree with me.

Tell me something you hate or love that most people would't agree with.


Monday, November 6, 2017

Guess What I Found on My Run? (No, It Wasn't a Dead Body)

First let's talk about yesterday.

Image result for shalane flanagan

Did anyone else turn into one giant crying goose bump as she ran into the finish? Or, was it just me? You know you really love running when you cannot get enough of watching someone with such perfect form and stride run. I could literally watch her for hours. What a race. What grit and determination.

Moving on.

So, I was running on Thursday minding my own business when I spotted something along the sidewalk. Like you, I am always spotting random stuff while I run, but I rarely stop to pick it up unless it's money. And, it never is. Usually I see lots of dental picks and empty Fireball bottles. Once I saw a live parakeet and a pair of underwear (not mine. Eww).

But on Thursday, this random item caught my eye. It looked like part of someone's journal, so I picked it up. And damn if it wasn't someone's diary from 1989! I stuck it in my pocket and within a few feet found two more clumps of pages from the same journal. I took those too. In total there were about 30 pages.

I could not wait to get home to read the juicy tidbits that were surely contained in these pages. I kept a journal and it was FULL of details about romantic crushes, nights out on the town, friendships gone bad and all kinds of other drama. I fully expected the same from these pages I found on the sidewalk.

As I walked in the door, I laid out the pages perfectly and in order. I made a steamy cup of coffee and sat down to read what I assumed would be a steamy collection of private and revealing memories. I honestly didn't feel the least bit guilty about reading this diary as clearly someone had thrown it out of their car for all of the world to see. Public information! They could have burned it. They could have eaten it. They could have buried it behind the shed in their backyard.

The handwriting looked like that of an adult, but I quickly learned that the thoughts were that of someone who was ten years old. Seems she was reciting her thoughts and her mom was writing them down. That should have been my first indication that there would be nothing juicy in those pages. The journal started in June 1989 when the family was travelling in Europe. There was talk of hotels, ducks and the weather.
Image result for boring
The family then return to Boulder and I assumed things would take a devious turn. The ten year old would have a crush on her teacher! She would steal a Snickers bar from the store! She would secretly start shaving her legs the day she got her period!

But, no. There were descriptions about violin lessons, walks to the park and thunderstorms. What a waste!

I learned that sometimes people keep journals just to document the basics, not for secrecy. Then the throw them out car windows because they are boring.

I guess I'll just keep looking for that dead body.

Did you keep a journal growing up? Do you keep one now? I have volumes from when I was 8 years old until I was about 30. Then I stopped.

Most interesting thing you've ever found on a run? Besides the parakeet, probably a man standing in the middle of the road staring right at me and peeing.

Have you ever run NYC? No, but I am determined to do it someday.


PS: No one guessed what was in the while bowl! It was TUNA FISH!