Friday, October 30, 2009

The Thong on the Elliptical and Other Musings

Today I was leaving the gym and took a glance at a heavy set woman on the elliptical. She was going to town - doing her thing at a respectable pace. Suddenly, my eyes were drawn to the top of her butt, right where the shirt is supposed to meet the pants. There was a gap there showing skin, but not just any skin. Tramp stamp skin. With a smattering of thong. Yep, the old thong whale tail highlighted by the tramp stamp tattoo. Pulsating up on down on that elliptical. Not pretty.

Seriously, what is the appeal? Am I just old? I mean, I've seen my fair share of these tattoos at the pool. Occasionally I will see the whale tail thong at Kohl's when someone crouches down to look at pair of shoes on the bottom shelf. Every time I see this, it's kind of like a surprise followed by confusion. I know many girls swear by the thong thing. I, however, find these to be like dental floss in my crack, and I just can't ignore the impulse to pick that thing out. Plus, and this is just the grossness in me, I always think how those things must smell when they're done for the day. And we all know there is nothing, and I mean nothing, that smells like ass.

One time one of my kids asked me to smell their finger. I should know better, right? When anyone asks you to smell their finger, it can only be nasty. But because he/she was only three, I figured it was okay. Maybe their finger had been in the peanut butter jar or inside a bottle of some sweet smelling lotion. One whiff of the three year old finger and I knew where that digit had been. Yup, like I side, there is no smell like butt.

So I'm just saying - do you work out in a thong? Does it feel good? No judgment here. Me, I prefer no underwear, just the liner of the running shorts is enough for me.

Won't you be glad when I start running again so I can stop focusing on this type of stuff? It won't be long now. I could actually read my Runner's World today and feel that the end of this running hiatus is near.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Heels Over Head

Look to the right: did you vote today?

Yes! Denver is getting some rock 'n' roll next year! Check it out my new article here.

How's your weekend?? It's crazy here. My son is having 11 boys for his 12th birthday party. We will play laser tag and eat nachos and hot dogs. Hope those boys like to get their butts whooped. I also hope that they are prepared for the gas I might have in the long car ride home. Nachos and hot dogs will not be kind. At least 12 year olds find farts funny.

I had my first non-swimming workout yesterday on the elliptical. 30 minutes and I supposedly climbed Vail Pass. My right calf is killing me today, but I am happy to say my foot feels fine. I can work out every other day and inch up my workouts by five minutes each time. Soon I will be running again. Can you see the smile on my face? Running and I have been separated for far too long. I hope she didn't cheat on me while I was away. She is so screwed if she has lipstick on her Garmin (that was dumb but I did chuckle to myself).

Picture of the day:

Did you know I was this flexible?

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Five Little Pumpkins

A big THANKS to all of you who voted. You can vote everyday because I know ya love me that much. Just click to the right.

Doc update:

The doctor has removed my boot (I like to call it an air cast because it sounds more intriguing and exotic). I am released to bike and to do yoga. PTL! That boot is nasty and when I burn it tonight all of the Colorado will smell my foot odor going up in smoke. I now have to wear my running shoes with two, yes two, orthotics in them. I will look very tall. But just one leg. I might just be back up and running in a couple of weeks. Then this can go back to being a running blog not a girls' weekend blog or a swimming blog or a Halloween candy blog.

And what will be next for Miss Shutupandrun? I am toying with the half ironman idea and have been talking to a coach about what's involved. This is the one I'm looking at. I figure I can swim, grab some wine during my swim/bike transition, then bike and grab some grapes off the vine as I go and shove them in my pie hole, then more wine during the bike/run transition, then run my half marathon drunk so that I will not remember any of the pain of the entire experience. I hope this will not be me in the video below. This is seriously one of the most painful things to watch:

Thanks to those of you who suggested putting my swim workout in the Ziploc bag. Worked like a charm (I'd like to say I did the 3,400 yards or even the 2,300 yards, but the truth is I died after 1,700).

A little Thursday humor because you knew I'd do it. My daughter (8) wrote this over the weekend when I was out of town. Cracked me up. I have no clue where she learned about farting. I never talk about pumpkins farting, I swear.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Good Mood

Remember when I begged and pleaded for your votes to win the Hood to Coast Relay and you took me there? Now I am applying to become the newest Good Mood Blogger. Please please take a moment to vote for me if you think I'd be good that this. It is actually kind of my dream job...I'd really appreciate it. Plus, if you can find my typo in my entry I'll give you some kudos.

Vote for Me
Good Mood Gig from SAM-e

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Will You Die Running a Marathon?

Did you hear about the three men who died running the Detroit Half Marathon this weekend? Did it give you pause about your own running and if you are putting yourself at risk by doing endurance/distance running? To the right is Jon Fenlon, age 26, who was one of the individuals who died.

I wrote an article for the Examiner about why people die in marathons and how often. The bottom line for me is that running is not an inherently risky activity and the benefits far outweigh the risks. The article was posted last night and has already had 1,000 page views which makes me the #1 Examiner in Denver and the #2 in the nation!! Yes, I'm bragging here but being a new writer it gives me such joy to know someone is reading something I've written. This is an important subject, so if you get a chance, please take a look here.

If you like what you read, please subscribe right next to my picture on the site.

Monday, October 19, 2009


So while you were all out running your marathons and such, I was up in the beautiful Colorado mountains sitting on my butt drinking wine and Van Gogh blueberry vodka and eating lots of brie with two of my best girlfriends. These girls, Julie and Erika, I met in graduate school 15 years ago. We became fast friends and they have seen me through my wedding, the birth of my children, my miscarriages, several moves, and all of life's ups and downs. They are like sisters to me. It is so freeing to be with people who take you just how you are - flaws and all - my biggest flaw being the inevitable gas that I bring on these girls' weekends. In fact, last year I laid the heaviest fart in the car coming home. We were on I-70 and Erika stuck her head out the window to get some fresh air just in time for the snowplow in front of us to send some gravel and ice chips flying into Erika's face. She will still tell you the gravel in the face was better than smelling the noxious fumes from my ass.

Before heading up to the hills, I got in an intense 45 minute swim workout. Still not digging the swimming thing, but again, it is what I can do right now. Hoping the doc will take me out of this smelly funky boot on Thursday and let me get on the bike. Prior to starting my running career a year ago, I was a pretty avid cyclist, so this is an activity I LOVE. I am one of those crazies who gets a thrill from climbing mountain passes on my bike. Totally exhilarating.

These picture pretty much sum up the 24 hours of the girls' retreat:

Heading up:
Loveland Pass - look closely, those are skiers Erika and I - Dillon Lake

House where we stayed; not too shabby:

Me getting ready to jump in. This is where I wish I had some cleavage to offer you:

Hot tubbing: Me preparing dinner after 2 hours in the hot tub - tipsy and dehydrated:

Still in the damn boot:

Cute town of Frisco where we got breakfast:

Yep, it's always good to get away. How do you take a break from your life?

Thursday, October 15, 2009

What Hurts Worse, Pooping or Childbirth?

Suffice it to say it's been a weird week in Colorado.

  • Today a UFO-look alike balloon with maybe a six year old boy inside (thank God he wasn't) flew in the skies near my house. If you don't have a clue what I'm talking about, you haven't watched the news today about attic boy.
  • 4" of snow last weekend
  • This present (aka rigor mortis squirrel) my dog deposited on the floor Tuesday night after coming inside (this was taken outside the day after - dog didn't kill it. He's not that skilled).

  • Last night, my son made this wise observation as he came out of the bathroom: "Mom, that poop I just took was so wide it felt like childbirth." Don't even ask me where he gets his poop sense of humor. It is beyond me.
  • Finally, in more weirdness, for the first time since I was eight, I used a kick board today at the pool. Someone, maybe a former Ironwoman, suggested I mix up my swimming workouts with drills, intervals, and toys to keep things interesting. So I tried a workout from a web page with 50 swim workouts listed on it. I did #9. I am still not sold on this swimming thing, but it is literally all I can do, so I'll take it.

Let me tell you something. There is a lot of crazy jargon in swimming. Like "pull" and "kick" and "IM" and "ladder" and "pyramid." All of this when I just got used to running terms like "tempo" and "fartlek" (my personal favorite). Combine that with crap like "peeps," "sketchball," and "MILF" that the kids are saying these days and I am all confused.

The workout
So, I go in to do this workout and being a newbie I bring my piece of paper (with #9 listed) and set it at the end of my lane for reference. I also bring my water bottle despite the fact I am swimming in a vat of water. This is a very nerdy thing to do at the pool, I found out. No one has pieces of paper at the end of their lane, or liquid. So, within minutes my paper is soaking wet and disintegrating. I obviously need to buy a laminator for my next workout.

I won't gross you out, but #9 involved all kinds of speed intervals that had me gasping, nearly drowning. I also was supposed to swim some laps doing the butterfly (or "fly" as the cool kids call it). I just plain can't do that. I mean I can do the sidestroke (this is my mom's favorite), the doggie paddle, the breast stroke (do you go shirtless for this one?) and the backstroke (always hit my head on the side with that one). If all of that stroke stuff wasn't bad enough, it was time for the kick and pull drills where you use the toys. First the kick board. I thought people who used kick boards were pussies. Until today. My legs were so fatigued by the time I did six lengths with that thing. Then the pull - you put this buoy between your knees and swim using only upper body strength. Killer. Here is me imitating my swimming form, which is very graceful and perfect:

Excitingly enough, I actually got my heart rate pretty elevated today. For the first time in nearly four weeks. Yay me.

Anything odd happen to you this week?

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Trying to Find the Silver Lining

Today is a day of writing - blogs, articles and an adoption report for work. Yesterday I got an email from someone who works for the Denver Marathon offering me a media pass to the race this weekend for article writing purposes. I am scheduled to have a girl's weekend in Breckenridge complete with wine, hot tub, movies and massages, so I will have to skip the media pass in favor of boosting my mental spirits with two of my very best friends in the whole world (Jamoosh this is where you get all excited about three girls in the hot tub touching one another - I'll take a picture) .

I do, however, have a new article about the marathon in our great city of Denver.

The decision has been made - even though I cannot run the Rock 'n Roll in San Antonio, we will still be going for the event. Our whole family, including my parents, had already bought plane tickets and the hotel was booked. Ken (dear spouse) is running the half, as is my friend, Julie, who was supposed to pace me for the marathon. My parents have never been to one of my races and it meant so much to me to think about them, as well as my husband, kids and dear friend, being there to watch me cross the finish line and to hopefully obtain that coveted BQ. I will admit (selfishly) it will be tough to be the one on the sidelines. I am sure I will be thinking that it should be me out there running and meeting my BQ goal. I do think it is important, however, to sometimes put yourself aside and to cheer others on. After all, it can't always be about me, and shouldn't be. It's important to see the big picture and know that I will be back out there soon enough.

I did have a thought: maybe I could sell my bib to someone really fast and meet my BQ time. So unethical it makes me smile.

Hah, calm down, just kidding.

I want to run myself when I BQ. Just kidding. I can't even run right now. Just kidding. I can run but if I did I would hurt my foot worse and mess my pants. Just kidding. I would try to find a bathroom first. Just kidding. It would be more like a bush. Just kidding. My white ass would stick out of a bush. Just kidding. My ass is not that white. Just kidding. It really is. Just kidding, just kidding, just kidding.

Remind you of something?

Plus, no running means no crapping my pants. See how I find the silver lining?

Monday, October 12, 2009

Me Vs. Oprah - Not Pretty

With this stress fracture, swimming has entered the picture. It's the only safe exercise I can do right now. Added to my list of reasons why I don't love swimming: raccoon eyes from the goggles.

Seriously, could I be any uglier in this picture? Cut me some slack, I'm fresh from the pool. Chlorine makes me hideous. I can't believe I'm even posting this. Dang I need an eyebrow wax. And no, those aren't Mickey Mouse ears, it's my hat. I like to call this my Oprah shot. You know how Oprah occasionally shows you how she looks with no makeup and you're like, "holy ugliness, put on some makeup woman!" (Dare I say, she looks better than I do).

I decided that if I can't run, then I will swim the hell out of the pool. Sunday I did 40 lengths (1000 yards). Today I swam 72 lengths (1,800 yards). That is 1 mile, 40 yards. In 40 minutes. I have no clue what that time means. I could be really fast or terribly slow (so, if you know will you tell me?). I will say this, I find swimming way easier than running. I have NEVER been much of swimmer and haven't swam a lap in nine years. So move over, running because swimming is entering the picture. Maybe the three of us could have a menage a trois? Or at least have an exclusive club.

Speaking of, I had a club with some girlfriends when I was ten. I know it will surprise you to learn that I was a provocative and crude child. Don't get me wrong, I got good grades and no one was the wiser. I saved my crude antics for secret meeting with my friends. I remember having a club and hiding under a bridge to set the rules. I don't remember the extent of the rules, but I do remember we sang this song (I'm pretty sure I master minded it because I was the leader of the pack):

Shit, damn we know to hell, this is our club and we'll never tell.

No kidding. This is the kind of child I was. Yet I never smeared feces on the walls, went to juvy hall or got into any sort of trouble. I don't know what my problem was, I just enjoyed living on the edge and defiling my friends. How I got to be a mom of two well adjusted kids and a productive member of society I'll never know. I will say my parents were/are pretty great.

But back to the swimming. Do I really like to swim? Not so much. Do I get anywhere close to the high I get with running? Not at all. Is it an okay distraction and a way to move my body when I can't do anything else? I guess so.

One thing I will say is that swimming to me gets really boring. Counting lap after lap. Someone could be an instant millionaire if they made the iPod work in the water.

Half Ironman? I'm just putting it out there. Prior to becoming a runner, I was a cyclist. Did century rides, did Ride the Rockies, one time rode my bike from Richmond, VA to the Outer Banks, NC just for the hell of it. Would you ever consider a 1/2 IM? Am I just nuts?

One last thing: winner of the Hershey Kisses is Marlene of Mission to a(nother) Marathon! Email me your info and I'll send on your treats!

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Running Is Good for You. Who Knew?

Since no one reads blogs on the weekends, hello to the two of you out there.

My swimming career has begun - just swam 40 lengths (1,000 yards or .57 mile). It felt so good to be moving again. Peed before I got in the pool, so didn't contaminate the waters.

We woke up to 3" of snow and 17 degrees in Longmont, CO today. Good thing I'm not running these days, because it's a lot nicer to be drinking coffee and sitting at the computer than braving the elements. The flowers aren't sure what to think:

Neither does the dog:

Check out my latest article on the health benefits of running. I actually learned quite a bit writing this article and am further convinced of why I love my friend running so much. Stress fracture or not, the sport is actually really good for you. Imagine that.

So many of you are racing this weekend: Chicago, Columbus, Long Beach. Good luck friends.Can't wait for the race reports!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Peeing in the Pool and a GIVEAWAY!

I know you have all been patiently waiting to hear what the doctor said about my foot. Let's just say the bonfire and beer drinking has begun and the crutches are history! He thinks I'm healing well and can be in the boot two more weeks before moving to a shoe with orthotics. I can swim, but nothing else. Because I am the shut up and run girl, I had to ask him if I could run a half marathon in mid-November, but go really slowly. Crawl, if need be. He looked at me like I was high on crack. This idiot, he was thinking. He was nice enough to just say it "wasn't advisable" and would put me at risk for another injury. I knew that, but it doesn't hurt to ask. One time I asked to be upgraded to first class and it worked so I always ask.

I don't like to swim. I don't like to swim because I hate being cold, because I don't like the water that gets in my goggles, because I look dumb in the swim cap, because I don't like the locker rooms and the wet floor on my bare feet and the naked bodies all sharing the same pool.

I used to love to swim as a kid playing tea party under water, doing handstands and pissing constantly in the water. I don't think I used the bathroom at our neighborhood pool once between the ages of 8 and 16. Make that 21. I once even took a dump in the ocean and it hit my brother in the leg, but that is another story.

But I will swim because it will keep me in shape for my first love and best friend, running. I will even take a picture of myself in my swim-get up just for you to see. Maybe I will wear my swim outfit into Target and ride on the electric cart. Now that would be a picture. Again, because I am the shut up and run girl, I am always a bit extreme and disciplined. I now know that swimming a mile in the 25 meter pool is about 64 lengths. That will be my goal. Not for the first time I swim, but in the coming weeks. A few years ago I did a triathlon and it was a half mile swim, so I'm pretty sure I can do the mile with only a 50% chance of drowning. The nice thing about the pool is you don't have to stop your workout to pee.

Now for the giveaway. I put this at the bottom of the post with hopes you would really read the post and care. I've been feeling bad since yesterday's post - flaunting those yummy pumpkin spice kisses that some of you said you can't find where you live. These things are amazing. Melt in your mouth pumpkin pie is the best way I can describe them. So, because you have been so kind and supportive of me during these past crap filled weeks, I am going to give away a bag of these yummy treats. All you gotta do?

Leave a comment and link back to my blog about the giveaway on your blog.

And a little bragging - here is my son at his cross country meet this week. He is a mini-me.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Living It Up Over Here

While you studs are all out doing long runs, running races, and making your PRs you are missing out on the joys of living in stress-fracture-land. Like, for example, I bet you didn't do your shopping at Target like this yesterday (if you look closely it appears I am trying to shoplift the pumpkin spice Hershey's kisses as they are inside my green purse. These things are so good that if I thought I could get away with it I would steal them, but in this case it wasn't intentional):

No I am not drunk. And yes, this is a terrible picture of me. Fluorescent lighting doesn't do me any favors. Neither does not running or moving for two weeks. I was, however, cracking myself up. Driving around on the electric cart like I owned the place. Running into displays as I tried to navigate through the narrow aisles of the boys' department. At one point I drove into a rack of belts causing several to fall to the ground. The cart was kind of stuck in the gaggle of belts (I know it's a gaggle of geese, but not sure what you call a group of belts). I put the cart into reverse to unstuck myself. It makes that lovely "BEEP BEEP BEEP" sound like I'm in a huge dump truck coming in to drop a load. I got lots of nice looks. People wondering what this skinny ass girl was doing on the electric cart (usually at my Target it is the morbidly obese driving these things and I couldn't help but wonder what types of people had graced the seat I was sitting on. You know there were some ginormous farts laid on that vinyl. There is a 350 pound weight limit, however).

Finally a red and khaki clothed Target employee asked me if I needed help finding something.

Red/Khaki: "Can I help you find something?"

Me: "No, but could you do me a favor?"

Red/Khaki: "Sure."

Me: "Could you take my picture on this thing? I want to send it to my husband." (really, I wanted it for the blog but didn't want to get into that).

Red/Khaki, laughing: "Sure. Where is your husband? Iraq?"

Me: "Oh, no. He's just at work."

Red/Khaki, taking the picture: "Oh this is great fun. Much better than dealing with unhappy people."

Me: "Great. Glad I could add some fun to your day."

On a different note, it will be two weeks tomorrow since my world fell apart and I was diagnosed with the stress fracture of the cuboid bone. Since then I have tried to stay off of the foot, using crutches and the boot. I have cheated around the house, hobbling around to get the kids their damn waffles and to let my three-legged dog out. Tomorrow I go back to the doc to see how my healing has progressed. Fingers crossed that he will give me the okay to ditch the crutches (woo hoo, bonfire and beer at my house tomorrow) and to get on the bike or elliptical. Or to do something.

Denver is calling for snow tomorrow, so that makes me miss running slightly less, but I will tell you I have SO missed my friend, running. She keeps me sane, keeps me balanced, doesn't let my butt get too big, allows me to wear fun dresses and skirts, gives me time to think and to solve the world's problems, and allows me much needed "me" time away from family, work, home. Who could ask for more in a friend?

Stay tuned for the doc's report.

Check out my latest article on World Run Day.

Monday, October 5, 2009

My Revelation (CILF)

I'm going to admit something here. Something big and self-revealing. Something that I do to totally feed my ego and to make people like me.

I give out the full size candy bars at Halloween

Don't you remember when you were little and there was always that house that gave out the big bars? You and your friends would scheme how to go there more than once. You would, in hushed voices, tell all of your friends which house it was. You assumed the people giving out the full sized bars were really rich. You thought about them as it got closer and closer to Halloween wondering if they would do it again. When you sat to trade candy after trick or treating you would put the full sized bar off to the side. That was off limits and there were no amount of fun-sized bars that someone could trade you for your big full sized bar.

Last year I wanted to be the full size house. I had a coupon from Costco for the bars, so it didn't seem quite so indulgent. I was extremely satisfied to hear from my kids that while trick or treating they overheard kids making reference to our house. The house of the FSBs.

So in this particular day and age when I can't run and I need something to feel good about, I'm going with the full size bars. No, we are not rich. No we are not even that generous. Yes, I want to be liked by anonymous dressed up children. 'Nuf said. What candy do you give out at your house. Don't try to copy me.

Remember when I told you how hot it was at my half marathon a couple weeks ago? The one where I jacked up my foot? Well it was in the mid-80s while we were running. The aid stations ran out of water. There was not enough medical staff to take care of all the dehydrated runners. In fact, they ran out of water at the end of the race too. Lots of people complained especially because this particular race was very expensive ($80 for the half) and boasted about having hundreds of sponsors and amazing support along the way. Well, we all get an email today from the race director, explaining why the race started at 9:00 a.m, thereby making it that much hotter than if they started earlier (seriously, have you ever been to a race that started at 9:00 a.m.?). Because if it started earlier, he said, it would be hard to park in the dark (assuming you were going to get there at 5:00 a.m.). Lame, lame, lame. No word about not enough water and support.

On the bright side, they did enclose a picture of the runners and the course so I am going to use it to my advantage and post it here. It really is a beautiful course as you can see. I wish me and my fancy running dress (my running dress and I?) were in this picture. But I was somewhere in the back hobbling along, cussing. Mother f'n foot.

Hey, and check out my latest article on cold weather running.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Would You Do FIRST?

Wow I'm just realizing it wasn't such a good idea to drink that 16 oz pumpkin pie latte right before I ate that bowl of spicy chili. Something is brewing up big time. It's a good thing I work from home. So excuse me if I need to rush away for a moment. See what happens when I don't run? I lose all sense of reason and combine things I would never regularly combine. I am just not right without the running.

My discussion in a previous post about wanting to try the FIRST training program from the book "Run Less, Run Faster," brought up some good discussion. As a reminder, the FIRST program has you running three key runs per week (speed, tempo, long) and cross training at least two other days.

Katie A. said, "I can't imagine how three days a week of running will get you anywhere. Plus, it sounds like you really love running, doesn't that plan defeat the purpose?"

Marcus (who has used this program) added, "FIRST is not for people who like to run. It's for people who want to run fast. Most workouts are hard... none of that oh-nice-refreshing-five-miles-with-my-friends stuff. My specialty is long distance, FIRST accentuates speed."

These are good points, although I don't believe that running three days a week "won't get you anywhere." With the right cross training and strength building it can get you lots of places, as many people have experienced. But the points about the program not supporting someone who loves to run and not allowing for just getting out and doing easier runs are valid ones. The runs in the FIRST program are ALL intense. It doesn't seem you get any easy, feel good runs in there.

So I am still left somewhat on the fence about this one. I ask you: if there was a chance you could PR and remain free from injury, would you choose a program that had you running less and cross training more?

Did you see this in Runner's World? This dude seriously deserves first place even if the marathon took him 10 hours (sorry for the crap quality pic, but you get the idea):

What are you going to be for Halloween?

I think I'll be this desperate housewife (or maybe it's better suited for Jamoosh):

Thursday, October 1, 2009

They're Mocking Me

Take a hard look. Yeah, that's right. You're looking at the new Boulder Running Examiner* for The Examiner. I am finally going to be published and I might make like $.13 an article. Enough to ride the horse 13 times at the grocery store or to buy 1/26 of a latte. Irregardless, this is my first official paid writing job and my first time being published!! Check out my first article on running your first marathon.

Moving on, here's what I've noticed about being on crutches.

Everyone has an opinion/inquiry about your injury. Yesterday, for example, I was on a home visit in let's say not the nicest area of Denver (remember in my other life I'm a social worker) when some dude working on repairing a roof gets down and approaches me. I am hobbling along on the crutches to my car. He says, "Well, THAT STINKS!" I say, "Uh, yeah." Roofer says, "Yeah, I had foot surgery last year. That's why I'm wearing socks with sandals" (and here I thought it was a fashion statement that roofers are trying to make these days). I say, "I just have a stress fracture." Roofer says, "Well, I just came over to give ya some SYMPATHY!!"

Thanks roofer. I feel better. But it was nice of him, I suppose. Then there are those people who try to scare you about the injury, telling you you'll end up with a club foot or fat and lazy and in front of the TV watching The Hills from here on out (well, no one said that, so maybe those are my internal fears).

It's like when you're pregnant and you get all those people telling you what to expect from labor: "My labor was 59 hours long and I bled like nobody's business and the baby almost didn't make it and my uterus fell out."

I'm on day eleven of no running. I see runners everywhere. Running and smiling and mocking me. Little do they know I'm going to make this extreme comeback. I know I'm going to do this because you all have told me I'm going to do this. And I know you're not lying, right?

And lastly, for a little humor because that is what's keeping me sane:

*And if you, too, want to apply to be an Examiner for your area, be sure to use my name: Beth Risdon.