Friday, September 26, 2014

10 Remarks No Runner Wants to Hear

You know how it goes. Life is moving along swimmingly. Then someone says something that really irks, annoys, upsets or angers you. One of my favorite examples of this is when I have finally showered, blown my hair dry and put on make up for the first time in a week and someone tells me I look tired. Basically that is their way of saying I look like shit.

On that note, let’s review some comments that could really piss off a runner such as yourself.

1. When a race volunteer says, “Yes, you should be at mile 20 of the marathon, but you took a wrong turn. That will add about 3 miles to your overall distance.”

2. When you are in an extremely desperate situation and the maintenance person at the only restroom on your run says, “Sorry, this one is closed for cleaning.”

3. When the marketing director of your favorite shoe brand says, “Sorry, that shoe that you love and have worn for 10 years? Yes, the one that has kept you injury free? It has been discontinued.”

4. When an acquaintance says, “I am so impressed that you are doing a marathon! I never knew you were a jogger!”

5.  When your pedicurist or podiatrist says, “Looks like you are going to lose another toenail.”

6. When your dad, mom, brother, friend, boss says, “Did you win you race? No? Why are you so slow?”

7. When some spectator at mile 15 of the marathon says, “You’re almost there!”

8. When your Aunt Ethel says, “So, you run? I thought runners were supposed to be skinny.”

9. When your best friend who is on the same cycle as you says, “Sorry dude. Your period is going to arrive on race day.

image

10. When the person running behind you says, “Uh oh. Looks like you trusted a fart.

Any other remarks you’d like to add?

SUAR

PS: If you are really bored, check out my latest article on RunHaven: “6 Outrageously Embarrassing Running Confessions”

85 comments:

  1. I particularly hate it when someone says, "You look great!" at mile 24 of a marathon. I do not look "great" - I look like death. Oh, and I hate the "you look tired" one, too. Just don't say anything, please! BTW -- glad your knee is feeling better. Where did you go apple picking?? Really want to do that this weekend around here. Maybe our paths will cross again soon. At the Y?

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  2. "Running is bad for you" or "Running is bad for your knees". Oh, shut up.

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    1. SUPER irritating and ALWAYS said by a non-runner...

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  3. "why do you run, it's just silly" Gee I don't know, maybe it does suck once in a while but it gets me outside in the fresh air and off my ass and makes me feel good!

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  4. "So what are you training for NOW?" Like it's so inconvenient for them that you're always training for something!

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  5. I cannot stand when people say maybe I'm not cutout for half marathons or running because of numerous injuries...

    Jen S.

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  6. Fantastic list! I ran a marathon last weekend and we started getting the "almost there" remarks and signs around mile 3, which seemed a little early to me. My biggest annoyance is when people give me a hard time about going to bed early and/or not drinking because I have a long run the next day. I really like sleep!

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    1. I have the other problem: why are you still drinking, aren't you racing tomorrow!

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  7. #2 and it happens at work too, not just on a run #gottago !!!

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  8. I've been told that until I can consistently run under 10 minute miles (yes, I'm slow…only in mid 11-12's) I can't call myself a runner…I'm just a jogger. Even though I finished a half marathon. Sigh. Guess it gives me a good goal to shoot for.

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    1. Yes, as long as you're getting out there & putting one foot in front of the other, you are a runner! A mile is still a mile. Doesn't matter how long it takes to get there.

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    2. Why does jogger have such a negative connotation? I started as a jogger in the early 80's, and I still think of myself as a jogger. Is that bad? I may have run a sub 3 marathon when I was 45, but I still jogged it in at the finish line. What's wrong with that?

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  9. When others say, "Oh, I can't run..." and they've never run before.

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    1. I used to say that. Now when someone tells me they can't run, I tell them YES YOU CAN. Ran my first half marathon at age 50.

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  10. #3 - It's been two years and I'm still looking for my next favorite shoe.

    My brother-in-law was flipping through my latest Runner's World magazine and said, "Who's Meb?" Why are you even touching my magazine (that I haven't had a chance to read yet) if you don't know who Meb is??

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  11. Ha! Yes. Love these (er hate these!?). Too funny!

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  12. "You don't look like a runner." Yup. I know. Now eff off.

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  13. How far is that marathon? Or are you running one of those 5k marathons?

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  14. The time nobody asks you if you won is when it's a small race and you actually did win.

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  15. I love these!! The "almost there" thing, while said with good intentions, is so irritating when you're nowhere near to being almost there. I would add it is extremely annoying to sign up for a marathon ($100) only to have your doctor tell you that you have medical issues that prevent you from training. I'm finally having surgery Wednesday and the marathon is early November :(

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  16. Love this. You are so right about every single remark. I absolutely hate it when people say you are almost there when you ARE NOT!! Hello, way to be super misleading!!!! ARG!

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  17. I hate hearing "Good job!" Grrrr!!!! A job is work, and typically I get paid for it. I do not consider a race to be a "job".

    And the handsy high five people creep me out. I don't want to touch other people during a race. You don't know where that hand has been, and given the state of most race porta-potties you really don't want to know. The high five thing takes energy from me.

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  18. Hhahahah awesome! Unfortunately I have heard a lot of these! The one I hate the most is when people ask me if I am running in Rio 2016, when I respond "Probably not", they say "Oh, well you won't with that kind of attitude", grrrrrr! I may be up there, but running in the olympics is a whoooollleee mother level!

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  19. "I think you dropped your keys at Mile 1..."

    @Keith - I say "Good job!" all the time when I'm monitoring on my kids' xc course but I'm thinking they don't have ACTUAL jobs yet (they're all in elementary school) so maybe that's acceptable? ;)

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  21. I am in the discontinued shoe conundrum right now too! Well, it's not discontinued but they changed it so much that it is NOT the same shoe anymore. I remember running along the waterfront in Monterey and the closest bathroom was closed. It was.... a close one.

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  22. Love these!! Someone telling you about a "real runner" when they know you run almost everyday and have several half marathons under your belt. Queue "I'm not a jogger" headlock from picture above!!

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  23. Ugh the jogger one kills me!
    I hate when people tell me my knees will be destroyed when I'm older >_< lies.

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  25. If I had a dollar for every person who has asked me how my knees are over the years, I would have been able to retire early.

    Don't miss the Berlin Marathon tomorrow. Universal Sports Network (DirecTV Channel 625) at 10am Mountain Time. Fastest course in the world. The world record has been broken in Berlin four of the last seven years. The race is going to be epic. Look for a 2:03. There are four guys who are capable of delivering. And Shalane Flanagan is hell-bent on breaking Deena Kastor's 2:19:36 American record.

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    1. 2:02:57 is the new world record in the marathon! Dennis Kimetto does it with negative splits of 1:01:45/1:01:15! Emmanuel Mutai finishes second in 2:03:13, 10 seconds faster than the previous world record. Shalane Flanagan takes third in 2:21:13, a personal best

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  26. AHHH jogger, I have talked about hating that term before and yes the knees, oh the freaking knees. everyone is surprised to hear my knees hurt less since I started running.

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  27. How far is this marathon you are doing? Duh, isn't it always 26.2 lol! Or are you going to win? When I laugh & say no they look at you perplexed like why not?

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  28. I have a confession to make: anytime I see the logo of runhaven, I read it as RUN SHAVEN and I m all like: "why? does it help with chaffing?" Because I definitely do not shave as often as I should :P
    Jana

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    1. Ummm... I have definitely found that I need to keep well shaved before a long run. If I let that hair get to be about 1/4" long it starts to rub and twist and get knotted up. OUCH!
      Am I really the only one this happens to????? :-/

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  29. My mother lectures me that I'm destroying my knees, will have a heart attack at the finish line & should never run alone. She asks how long is a marathon followed by... well, how long is a half marathon?

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  30. All of these are annoying. My most annoying experience was the spectator at about mile 25-ish who was yelling "COME ON, GO FASTER". The dude running next to me and I almost crash tackled her.

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  31. Doesn't matter what spectators say, it's the pity in their eyes that gets me...

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  32. #2, #3, and #5 hit too close to home. ;)

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  33. I really can't stand when people start saying I can't believe you run its so stupid. Well of course its stupid to the overweight, smoking dumbass that is talking to me!! You can't run 5 feet without feeling like you are going to die!

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  34. People at the beginning of my first marathon (May 2014) would yell out, "GOOD JOB!" But at the end pushing the six hour mark, people started saying, "GOOD EFFORT, " which included a look of pity. Yup, could have just had them shut up.

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  35. Your ankles look too thick for a guy who is so much into sports

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  36. "If you ever see me running, you better too, 'cause something's chasing me!"........least favorite non runner comment ever and I hear it aaaallll the time from all the people.

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  37. I may be the only runner that doesn't mind being called a jogger... it just doesn't bother me. Neither does the "you look great" or the "you're almost finished" comments... maybe it's because I want to believe I look great and the other one just makes me giggle...

    YES to the discontinued shoes...why saucony did you get rid of my progrid paramounts... I haven't found a good shoe since!

    Also, agree with the "knees" thing...always from a non-runner! What the heck!

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  38. My favourite; 'How fast do you run?'.... Well... Let's take my 100m time and call that my pace shall we?

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    Replies
    1. OMG I'm so going to use this next time!!! I've never thought about doing that haa haa!!!!

      Delete
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