Wednesday, January 6, 2016

I Know 34 Things You Thought About on Your Run Today

Yeah, it looks gorgeous and all, but it's f'ing freezing.


I know I don't have to run five times a week, but it's what I do.

Ken: It's freezing. This is ridiculous. We don't have to go
Me: Yes, we do
Ken:Why? Why when our warm bed is so close.
Me: BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT WE DO, FOOL!

I told Ken his next wife could be all fat and lazy and maybe then he would be finally happy. At least he can grow a beard to warm his face when it's negative-minus-hell degrees outside.



I don't want to be a broken record about the cold so I'm going to shut up now. But rumor has it that this week was not just cold in Colorado and Alaska and Siberia, but it was cold everywhere. So, wherever you are (shut up Hawaii, Mexico and Nevis), you feel my pain. Moving on.

I was thinking about something today while I ran. Sometimes I do think and sometimes I just don't know what I do. I think I spend a lot of time wondering how much longer I need to run and when I can rest again. According to this study, I am not alone.



Anyway, I agree with Oprah or Maya Angelou or Jesus or whoever said, "We are more alike than we are different." So, to me this means that we probably think similar things when we are running. Here are the top most common thoughts in my head during a run. Can you relate?

  1. This sucks. I'm not sure I'm up for this today.
  2. I'm so glad I decided to do this.
  3. How much further?
  4. Oh my God I need a bathroom RIGHT now. I'm turtling.
  5. Glad that urge passed.
  6. Why does running make me fart?
  7. Here comes another runner. I'm going to wave. They didn't wave back. WTF?
  8. Why don't other runners wave sometimes? I wonder if he/she is in a bad mood or is blind or hates me.
  9. What's for dinner tonight? What's for lunch today? What can I have for a snack? I wonder if there are any more Oreos left.
  10. How much further?
  11. Is that light going to turn green or stay red? Kind of hoping it stays red. I could use a rest but I don't want to be a pussy. I only want to stop if I'm forced to stop.
  12. I'm exhausted.
  13. I wonder how fast I'm going?
  14. I feel great.
  15. How much further?
  16. Does that car see me?
  17. I don't even really like running. 
  18. Is someone following me?
  19. I'm freezing.
  20. I shouldn't have had that chili cheese dog last night.
  21. Now I'm getting hot.
  22. Did I leave the oven on?
  23. Damn that was a slow mile.
  24. Wow, I'm speedy.
  25. The snot will just not.stop.flowing!
  26. My (insert: butt, IT band, Achilles, calf, foot, knee) hurts. Hope I'm not getting injured.
  27. Do I look good when I run? I think I look good. 
  28. I look horrible when I run. I'm sure my form sucks.
  29. Snot rocket. Nailed it.
  30. Is it true my odds are good of finding a dead body on this run?
  31. I hate this song.Skip. Why is it even on my playlist?
  32. Out of all those cars that passed me, did anyone know me?
  33. How much more can I eat today since I took this run?
  34. Wow, that was awesome. So glad I did it.


This just goes to show how evolved runners are. I mean consider the range of emotions and conflicting thoughts we encounter in just one little run! Clearly, we are complex and intellectual and better than the average person. High five, fellow runners.

Tell me ONE thing you think about when you run.

SUAR







123 comments:

  1. I always am convinced that I will find a dead body, someone hiding a dead body, or become the dead body. I'm overtly friendly to any person I see while I'm running to make sure they remember some crazy person like me if I go missing.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think I have thought every single thing on your list! Haha!

    ReplyDelete
  3. My thought today was, "seriously?! That's IT?!" In terms of how far I had run at that point. Exploring new trails is exciting, but man the miles were crreeeeeeeping by...

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    ReplyDelete
  4. You forgot this one:
    35. Why does this seem harder than usual?

    And also:
    36. Wow, this isn't so bad considering the (insert wine, box of cheese its, burrito) i ate last night.

    ReplyDelete
  5. How did someone lose that one sock sitting there in the road?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. YES!!!!!!!!! All the time. And sometimes a pair of underwear. WTF

      Delete
  6. On long runs, I make emergency plans. Rabid skunk. Angry cow. Scared deer. Seems to happen after mile 12. On every.single.run, I can't stand at least one song and vow to take it off the list next time. And always forget.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I run with my dog so I am always struggling to stay patient while he seemingly sniffs EVERY bush along the trail. Every run I say "hurry up Ben" then I feel bad for rushing him. The colder it is the longer he takes.

    Also, I always think how great the coffee is going to taste when I get home.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I wonder what is in that fat garbage sack over there? Did someone throw that out intentionally? No, no, better not touch it or look in it.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Yep, have definitely thought all of those things almost every single run, except #31 because I never listen to music. But if I did, I'm sure that would happen too. I'm usually having made-up conversations in my head with people I may or may not know in real life. "If Brad Pitt came up to me right now, how would that conversation go?"

    ReplyDelete
  10. Also...I hope that dog is tied up or has an invisible fence!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. 31 and...... This run earns me wine. 🏃🏼🍷

    ReplyDelete
  12. Can I add... Hmmm, I'm probably due to wash my right glove

    ReplyDelete
  13. Can I add... Hmmm, I'm probably due to wash my right glove

    ReplyDelete
  14. I think a lot of those, minus the one about traffic lights since I run in the country, never about other runners since I never see any other runners besides my husband, we are very rural. I hear you about the cold. Haven't thought about finding a dead body. Wolves are more likely with the amount of tracks we've seen lately.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I swear I have thought of all those things plus more. What if I found a bag of money on the side of the road? Turn it in or spend it slowly?

    ReplyDelete
  16. Ewwww..a used condom. How does that happen? Do people just have sex in the car and fling it out the window?

    ReplyDelete
  17. The start of a planned 6-mile run:
    Mile 1: "I'll feel better if I can just get past mile 3"
    Mile 3: "Why am I not feeling better?"
    Mile 4: "I think I'm feeling better"
    Mile 5: "Not feeling better, I'll just do 5"
    Mile 6: "It's only 1 more mile, I can do 1 mile"
    End of Mile 6: "Thank God that's done."
    Hubs asking how run went: "Fantastic! I felt really good!"

    ReplyDelete
  18. Could I pee hidden behind that tree? That one? There? I've never actually needed to but I'm always on the lookout!

    ReplyDelete
  19. I've seriously thought many of those thoughts on my run. The one about waving to other runners/walkers is so true. Sometimes when I wave and they don't wave back, i think the same thing.

    Love the quote!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Yup, all of them! After my first marathon in May, I thought someone needs to record what goes on in our minds while running, I'm hilarious! i read something about pickle juice helping with leg cramps, so for the last 8 miles every time I ran past a house with people on the lawn, i would think could they quickly run into their house and get me a jar of pickles, I never did ask, I'll bring my own this time!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Do I ignore the "Bear sighting" sign? (I did. Several times.)
    Do I take the scenic route back to get in one more K?
    I wish I could run like he/she does.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Do these electric fences always work?
    9.5 miles. Will DailyMile know if I lie and post 10 miles?
    Glad I wore these gloves since my nose is running.
    My back hurts. Must be I need to buy new running shoes.
    Will anyone notice that my hat is pink and my socks are orange (they looked like pink this morning)?

    ReplyDelete
  23. I wish Les (my husband) didn't have bad discs in his back, he'd be a great runner and we could run together more than once a month. But then he'd smoke me running, not just cycling. Guess I'll just wait for him here...

    ReplyDelete
  24. I love #7! LOL You forgot references to road kill and wondering what happened to that animal!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Yesterday I waved at TEN people on the bike trail and not only did none of them return my wave or greeting, but several of them just stared at me like I was being rude. This kept me occupied for four miles because I kept thinking that I must look suspicious or that I'd done something to these people to anger them. I mean, just wave back! That's all I wanted.

    ReplyDelete
  26. 35. Winter: I hope no one can see my underwear through these running tights.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Some of my thoughts while running "That guy is going to jump me, I`m sure he is why else is he wearing a hoodie, he is up to no good, why I`m i out this late? Shall i speed up or slow down" As I pass him I say "hello" trying to catch him off guard which makes him jump, practically scaring him to death. Doesn't always pay to be polite.

    ReplyDelete
  28. All of the above!! lately is that a stick or a snake...........snake or a stick...........

    ReplyDelete
  29. On every run I'll think about how much my dog loves to run, and how weird that if I didn't get this dog I probably wouldn't have discovered that I also love to run.

    ReplyDelete
  30. I don't remember this hill being here before. And, on trail runs PLEASE don't let me see any snakes. (The record is 3)

    ReplyDelete
  31. My favorite: why don't these sidewalks have nicer turns, these are way too sharp.

    ReplyDelete
  32. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Hahaha! Love this list! I tend to think a lot along the lines of, "Can I have a Frosty after this? I can have a Frosty after this."

    ReplyDelete
  34. I certainly thought (1) on my run this morning.
    I am constantly judging peoples gardens and saying in my head what I like / don't like as well as surveying their letterboxes. Why I don't know especially when things don't change that much in 1 day!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I run by a house with a ton of roses in front of it. I love roses, and every year right before they start blooming I think of all the beautiful roses they will have, the different colors, the smells. Then when they bloom I remember that they are all a very boring, small variety of red roses. For some reason this is the first winter I have remembered the boring roses, and now think about what a waste all those roses now.

      Delete
  35. I think about how slow I feel, then when my Garmin hits a mile I check the pace and think, yay, not bad!

    ReplyDelete
  36. I make up inane facebook statuses to prove how witty I am to my friends.

    ReplyDelete
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