Today I was leaving the gym and took a glance at a heavy set woman on the elliptical. She was going to town - doing her thing at a respectable pace. Suddenly, my eyes were drawn to the top of her butt, right where the shirt is supposed to meet the pants. There was a gap there showing skin, but not just any skin. Tramp stamp skin. With a smattering of thong. Yep, the old thong whale tail highlighted by the tramp stamp tattoo. Pulsating up on down on that elliptical. Not pretty.
Seriously, what is the appeal? Am I just old? I mean, I've seen my fair share of these tattoos at the pool. Occasionally I will see the whale tail thong at Kohl's when someone crouches down to look at pair of shoes on the bottom shelf. Every time I see this, it's kind of like a surprise followed by confusion. I know many girls swear by the thong thing. I, however, find these to be like dental floss in my crack, and I just can't ignore the impulse to pick that thing out. Plus, and this is just the grossness in me, I always think how those things must smell when they're done for the day. And we all know there is nothing, and I mean nothing, that smells like ass.
One time one of my kids asked me to smell their finger. I should know better, right? When anyone asks you to smell their finger, it can only be nasty. But because he/she was only three, I figured it was okay. Maybe their finger had been in the peanut butter jar or inside a bottle of some sweet smelling lotion. One whiff of the three year old finger and I knew where that digit had been. Yup, like I side, there is no smell like butt.
So I'm just saying - do you work out in a thong? Does it feel good? No judgment here. Me, I prefer no underwear, just the liner of the running shorts is enough for me.
Won't you be glad when I start running again so I can stop focusing on this type of stuff? It won't be long now. I could actually read my Runner's World today and feel that the end of this running hiatus is near.
