Friday, October 30, 2009

The Thong on the Elliptical and Other Musings

Today I was leaving the gym and took a glance at a heavy set woman on the elliptical. She was going to town - doing her thing at a respectable pace. Suddenly, my eyes were drawn to the top of her butt, right where the shirt is supposed to meet the pants. There was a gap there showing skin, but not just any skin. Tramp stamp skin. With a smattering of thong. Yep, the old thong whale tail highlighted by the tramp stamp tattoo. Pulsating up on down on that elliptical. Not pretty.

Seriously, what is the appeal? Am I just old? I mean, I've seen my fair share of these tattoos at the pool. Occasionally I will see the whale tail thong at Kohl's when someone crouches down to look at pair of shoes on the bottom shelf. Every time I see this, it's kind of like a surprise followed by confusion. I know many girls swear by the thong thing. I, however, find these to be like dental floss in my crack, and I just can't ignore the impulse to pick that thing out. Plus, and this is just the grossness in me, I always think how those things must smell when they're done for the day. And we all know there is nothing, and I mean nothing, that smells like ass.

One time one of my kids asked me to smell their finger. I should know better, right? When anyone asks you to smell their finger, it can only be nasty. But because he/she was only three, I figured it was okay. Maybe their finger had been in the peanut butter jar or inside a bottle of some sweet smelling lotion. One whiff of the three year old finger and I knew where that digit had been. Yup, like I side, there is no smell like butt.

So I'm just saying - do you work out in a thong? Does it feel good? No judgment here. Me, I prefer no underwear, just the liner of the running shorts is enough for me.

Won't you be glad when I start running again so I can stop focusing on this type of stuff? It won't be long now. I could actually read my Runner's World today and feel that the end of this running hiatus is near.


  1. Maybe she was wearing a thong as incentive to workout harder, like for the day she'd look good in them or maybe the reward was getting to take them off. Either way, eeewwwwww! Workouts are no place for thongs!

  2. I love your posts! I'm cracking up! Sometimes i can wear thongs-- but that whole needing to dig it out happens to me too! Um working out in one? hAHA not even possible! I'll stick to my grandma panties for my daily runs & time at the gym. :)

  3. Gross!! I cannot even imagine running in a about uncomfortable. I did a race once where the girl in front of me wore see through white shorts and a thong...thankfully I may have started behind her, but I finished ahead. :)

  4. I've been reading your blog for a couple of weeks and really enjoying it. Today, during my shorter run I had to go and couldn't make it back. Suffice to say that I was a troll under the bridge and I thought "OMG! I am just like Beth!"

  5. Exercising and thongs do not mix in my world! I prefer running shorts with a liner. My neighbor (a 56 yo guy in awesome shape) swears by his red thongs...I'm just sorry I ever saw the red thong.

  6. Ugh. When I visited my sister a few weekends ago, we worked out together, and she was wearing a thong "so she wouldn't have panty lines." Hmm. Yeah. Who cares in the gym?!

  7. I had to laugh bc my 4 y old did the same thing the other day. LOL. And yes, I don't get the thongs. How can they be comfortable? But what do I know???

  8. I did the thong thing when I was around HS age and I cared about panty lines and what other people thought. I could only do the very tiny thin strap and eventually my cats found them all in the laundry and took them away because they thought they were toys. Now I realize, *gasp* people wear underwear! It's not a secret and if my pants are too tight I shouldn't wear them and if it's a weird material, well buddy have fun staring at my ass but I don't care if you know I have underwear on and if they're high cut boy cut or something else...same with bras. I'm clearly a C cup, it's not a secret if you notice my strap I obviously can't be going without! Now about the working out thing...when I started I wore shorts while running, and they had the liner and I didn't wear anything, and never needed to worry about it. This year my capri's were not lined so I was always trying to find the pair I would be comfortable in for hours on end...fabric, cut whatever. It's not a fun process ) ; I prefer nothing and am hoping my next pair of pants are lined...or maybe I should try those wicking panties? Heard anything about those?

  9. Nope I canNOT do the thong thing. I've tried, I really have, but I don't find them comfortable. Same thing - I feel the constant urge to pick that string outta there.

  10. I am a thong girl myself, but I CAN NOT wear one while working out! I think it feels awful.

    We cancelled our flights to SA, guess that puts the kibosh on the half for me. Have you thought about another marathon yet?

  11. Well, I guess I'm an annomaly. Yes, I wear a thong! Even when I work out, and even when I run, and even now that I'm pregnant. TMI? Well, you asked! I love them because there's nothing to get bunched up in, well, you know where. Only on a rare occasion is it uncomfortable when working out. Hey, to each his (or her) own!

  12. I don't mind wearing a thong while running or exercizing if it's well made, it fits well, and is made of appropriate material. In my past life I studied dance (when I was a kid well into college, 12 years ballet and have done belly dancing for a few years now) and some dancewear makers do thongs that are OK to wear dancing, and as I've now found out, running :) But I wouldn't go to La Senza and get a cutesy cotton thong and go for a long run in it. Usually my undies under my running kit are wicking, modestly cut panties from MEC.

  13. I guess I am also in the minority. I started wearing thongs in high school and while, yes it did take some getting used to, I don't even own a regular pair of underwear now. I'm not a runner so I can assume that I might change my tune if I were but walking, jogging, weights, circuit training, pilates. Yeah all performed in a thong.

    I want to add that they're not the stringy little strappy ones - thin material, cotton, comfortable and light as a feather. I can't even feel them in my crack, let alone want to pull it out.

  14. AGH, there was a young girl in my interval class on Tuesday showing her thong to the world... well, to those of us behind here. Don't get it at all. I don't even own a thong....

    Ass smell.... ewwww.

  15. LMAO! Unfortunately I have a tramp stamp and am guilty of showing some whale tale from time to time. *Hangs head in shame* If only I hadn't been such a lemming during the tramp stamp craze about 10 years ago... *Sigh*

    I work out in thongs if there's no liner and if there is, au natural.

  16. No thong here. Im sure your a releaved. Not sure I could see them ever beign comfy. Of course Im a guy, happen to like the look of some women in them.

  17. OMG-I laughed so hard at this post and the one before. Great Blog! I vote for the shorts with a liner!!

  18. While I do wear thongs, I definitely don't work out or run in them. In shorts--I always wear the liner ones and go bare there. In pants or running tights--I LOVE the undies from Lululemon. They are thin, stretchy, wicking and stay put. LOVE EM!

    As for the tramp stamp, *buries head in hands* yeap, I am certified 100% TRAMP. Never let your fellow exchange student talk you into getting a tattoo in Mexico (for MANY reasons).

  19. I don't wear thongs if I work out, it is too uncomfortable.

  20. I wear thongs all the time. I made the switch-over about 5 years ago. At first I noticed it touching my bottom, especially when I bent over, and this - while not altogether unpleasant - still nonetheless made me want to tug at it a bit; but, after a day or two, I totally stopped being aware that it was there.

    Now I really enjoy wearing them. I feel a bit guilty because I actually quite like the sensation of them brushing against my backside occasionally when I bend or move.

    I don't do a whole lot of exercise, but whenever I do it's in a thong.

    And I don't find they get dirty, or cause infections.

    You just need to give yourself time to get used to them. Then you'll love them - no more tugging your granny pants of of your arse when you think no one is watching...

  21. I totally just got off the treadmill, running in a thong. it's WAY more comfortable for me than any other kind of underwear. No bunching or anything, honestly i can't even feel them. I'd never work out commando but apparently I'm the odd one out. (:

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