I, on the other hand, did not BQ this weekend. I had better things to do like watching Glee on TiVo and getting nearly frostbitten and hypothermic on a Sunday morning bike ride in the Colorado mountains.
It seemed like a good idea at the time. Driving to the base of Left Hand Canyon and biking the 8 miles and 1,800 feet up to the small mountain town of Jamestown, CO. It also seemed like a good idea to go by myself, to put on only minimally warm gloves and layers and to not double check that my Garmin was charged. It seemed like a good idea to do these things when I have zero body fat and a history of poor circulation and Raynaud's Syndrome (Condition resulting in a particular series of discolorations of the fingers and/or the toes after exposure to changes in temperature -cold or hot - or emotional events).
Here is part of the road on a nice day in the summer with no snow:
I set out. It is much colder than I thought. There was no sun. Even if the sun was out, there is no sun in the canyon. There was snow on the ground. The river running alongside the road was frozen. I realized my Garmin was dead. I realized my bike computer wasn't working. I had no cell service. I felt chilly, but sure that I would warm up as I started climbing. And warm up I did. I felt phenomenal. No one else was out. The scenery was beautiful. There were wild pheasants walking around. It was still and quiet with just my breathing and the sound of my bike tires on the road.
I saw one guy riding down the canyon in the opposite direction. He had a scarf wrapped around his entire face. I was so warmed up by that time that I thought, "What's up with that guy. It's not that cold. Fool." (Cue foreshadow).
I continued up. The going was steep. I got to points where the road was covered in snow and where there were so many broken pieces of rock on the road that had fallen down the cliffs that I had to dodge around them. Finally, I see the sign for Jamestown: 6,929 ft. I've made it, now time for the payoff; the quick 8 miles downhill back to the warm car.
The minute I turned around and started to head down I started cussin'. The icy wind coming at me was bitterly and insanely cold. My toes and fingers immediately started to go numb (remember the Raynaud's?) but were also incredibly painful at the same time. Typically eight miles downhill on a bike goes by in a flash, but this felt in slow motion as my body was shaking from the cold and my extremities were in so much pain. It sucked. Once I got back to the car I cranked the heat, but when I got home my temp was 95 degrees. It took me at least 45 minutes in the hot shower to stop shaking and for my feet to return to their normal color.
I am just a dumb ass. Feel free to berate me and tell me I deserve what I got. Send me any second hand winter cycling gear you may have. Give me instructions on how to carry a flint with me and start a fire so I could thaw my hands and feet. Remind me that there are things called hand and foot warmers that you can buy for these such occasions. Feel free to call my kids and tell them theses jokes:
Yo mama’s so dumb she stole a free sample
Yo mama’s so dumb she stayed up all night studying for her blood test
You see, I am not bright enough to cycle. That is why I need to heal so I can run again.
The kids and I went to see the movie the Blindside after I thawed. I thought it was a lovely and touching story of giving and compassion. The only thing my son remembers from the movie is when Sandra Bullock yells to the guy behind her at the football game, "Hey crotch mouth!" I'm glad he got so much out of it.
Drinking: Yogi Detox Tea
What I should be doing instead of blogging: Writing a home study report for work