Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Necessary Losses

So, this happened.

Longmont High School Graduation
If you've been reading the blog for awhile, then you have seen Sam grow up a bit (I started the blog when he was about 11 years old).

It's been a bag of mixed emotions. I am just riding the wave. I've been reminded of an amazing book I read almost 20 years ago called Necessary Losses. I think my mom passed it onto me. I don't remember too much, but the premise of the book is basically that in order to move forward in life, loss has to be part of the equation. Certainly there is literal loss due to death, but there is figurative loss too -  Loss of our childhood. Loss of our innocence. Loss of our youthful skin as wrinkles set in. Loss of children as they grow up and move out. Loss of our PRs as we get older. The list goes on.

Basically it is about letting go. Learning to understand and accept the progression of life. Bottom line: Loss is inevitable. In fact, we start to experience loss from the moment we are born (when the cord is cut!)

Well, the literal cord was cut between me and Sam (by Ken!) over 18 years ago. But, the invisible cord still remains. Just because he goes 820 miles southwest to Tempe, Arizona doesn't mean the cord vanishes. It just changes. Maybe it becomes a bit longer and thinner. Maybe its strength increases and decreases with life's changes. But, just because he is up and out of the nest, I don't think of him as gone. He is just away for a bit and will be back.

As they say, it's not goodbye, it's just see you in a bit.



Love,

Mom


PS: Get the book. It helps.

23 comments:

  1. OMG ... that belly bump! Too funny!!!

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  2. Time. It just moves and moves. Change can be good. Congratulations to Sam. And oh my gosh that sweet girl is your twin.

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  3. Ugly cry! I started reading your blog when your Sam was 12 and now my Sam is 12. Think I need to rock in the corner. Congrats on raising what seems to be a well adjusted kid from a kind family. We are all just trying our best with each loss.

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    Replies
    1. YES! Thanks for reading for so many years and I bet your Sam will do great things.

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  4. I don't know what led me back to your blog after a couple of years, but I loved reading this post and am going to look up that book.
    Anne

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  5. My daughter is going to ASU too. 1820 miles! We have a little more than 2 months left and my heart breaks a little more every day. Want to meet up for some races in Arizona?

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    Replies
    1. Yes, we should do that!! When are you going to orientation?

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    2. We did orientation at the end of April. She is super excited! We are trying to be.

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  6. I'm feeling a little FOMO and bittersweet all mixed into some motherhood melancholy with this big passage. You know we've had our share of struggles with my oldest. My son graduated early, in December and won't be participating in ceremonies at his school (both his choice). And he's not going to college...he's on a different path, but one that seems to be leading him in the right direction. It's not my choice for him but I have to let him do it his way. No matter what path they take, it's hard for us moms to let go. They always are our babies, right?

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    Replies
    1. Regardless of their path you are right...it is hard to let go. You are an amazing mama, I am sure of that...oh, hey, and I will be in Chicago in July. Just sayin

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  7. I live in AZ! I can't go kick his butt from time to time if needed. ;)

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  8. I looked for the book link..... but I have the book already in Dutch translation as I am Dutch. I will reread it.

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  9. Ahhhh, don't be sad. Looks like you've raised an amazing young man. And your right. That cord does change. My cord just doubled:Today I get to go get my Grandson to play! But with a postive relationship like yours, he will be back and need you forever for advice, support and comfort. Oh wait--he's going to college? AND MONEY. :)

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  10. Congrats to Sam! I think the hardest thing about being a mom is that we bring them into this world, and love and protect them, only to see them grow strong and resilient enough to 'leave the nest' and be able to soar and survive on their own. I have a 24 year old son who I am SO proud of and we are very close, but he is off and living his own life. A necessary loss indeed.

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  11. Congratulations to you all! That baby bump has me smiling ear to ear. When they are born you think this day is so far away & it seems the next thing you know they are walking across the stage in their cap & gown! Enjoy the moment!

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