Wednesday, January 9, 2019

If We Were Having Coffee...(aka Confession Time Minus the Priest)

Who am I kidding? I'd prefer we were having a cocktail. But, for the sake of boring Dry January (which I tried and failed at), lets stick to coffee (just in case you guys have more will power than I do).

If we were having coffee I'd tell you I am an idiot. Today I went for a run at one of my favorite spots, but I decided to drive there because I wanted to run 3 miles and not the 7 miles it would be if I actually ran there (<-lazy POS, I am).

Anyway, I got there kind of early and there was no one in the parking lot but a cop and a man living out of his truck. The man was making oatmeal out of the back of the truck. I kind of kept my eye on him because that's what the cop was doing so I got kind of distracted.


I put on my gloves, connected my wireless earbuds and set off, locking the car door. When I got back to my car three miles later I saw exhaust coming out of my car's tailpipe. What in tarnation? Was oatmeal man trying to steal my car? No. I had left the car running with the keys in the ignition. You see, my car has a code on the door so I don't have to carry keys, which is nice. What's not nice is that it means I can leave the car running and lock the door and go on a three mile run.

The upside? The car was VERY warm when I got inside since the heat had been blasting for almost 30 minutes.This was my contribution to the environment.

What stupid thing did you do today?

If we were having coffee I'd tell you I'd been thinking a lot about my cousin Sherry. She was murdered while running almost exactly 7 years ago. Can you believe it's been 7 years? I know many of you read my blog way back then and participated in my virtual run for Sherry and donated to an account for her kids. I love you for that.   You can read more about all of it HERE in my piece for Runner's World.

Sherry's sister, Rhonda, holding up a picture of Sherry, her husband and her two kids. 

A lot has happened since then. Her kids have grown - her son is married with a baby. Her daughter graduated from college. Life goes on, but never in the same way. I wish we could have grown older together as runners and friends. She liked farts as much as I do.

If we were having coffee (tinted with Bailey's. You may be dry, but I'm not) I'd tell you running has felt amazing lately. Don't get me wrong. It's not like I go out singing hallelujah with every step. It's still hard and I'm still slower than I used to be - but nothing hurts and it's rather joyful just being out in the crisp air. I still have to fight to not crap myself sometimes, but that's all of us right? RIGHT?!

If we were having coffee I'd let you know that sending your 21 year old to the grocery store is funny.

If we were having coffee I'd disclose that January is bland-uary. I'm spicing it up with the shows Dirty John, Homecoming and the Bachelor (raise your hand if you are over the costumes and the virgin jokes). I'm reading good books - Just finished Providence and am on to The Mars Room. I'm cooking new recipes and watching more porn (<-joke).

Are you doing Dry January?

Favorite TV show right now?

Best book you've read lately?

Stupidest thing you've done lately?

What would you tell me if we were drunk? Or, sipping on coffee?



  1. Actually, I had to give up both coffee and alcohol.

  2. Took my trash out this morning and even remembered to put on a coat(over my PJs), hat and gloves to handle the windy conditions and temps in the teens. Pulled the door closed behind me...the locked door. I never lock this door but my husband passed away a month ago and I feel more vulnerable these days. A visit to some kind neighbors, a call to a locksmith and $100 later I am back in my house only to realize that there was a house key in my van which I had full access to the entire time.

    Dry January... the only thing dry is my skin and occasionally my sense of humor.

    The Kominsky Method, a Netflix original series, is binge worthy. Watched the entire first season over two sleepless nights.

    Pamphlets. brochures. sympathy cards and insurance forms are the extent of my reading right now but I have a list in my head of books that I will read.

    If we were sharing a bottle of wine I would shed some tears and then some memories that might make us laugh.I might share a favorite quote of mine from "Steel Magnolias."

    "I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special."

    1. Best comment ever. I wish we could go out for a cocktail. Hang in there my friend

  3. I’m not doing dry January- unless you include my jokes. ;)

    Favorite tv show is Chopped. Mostly because I identify with all of the contestants sent home. Haha!

    Currently reading Michelle Obama’s book.

    I heard a noise tonight behind me and started talking to my son. Turns out it was my dog and he has zero idea where the hell my headphones are.

    If we were drunk I’d tell you that I was reading your blog for way more than 7 years and the posts about Sherry broke my heart then and now- and then I’d cry into both of our coffees. I’d also tell you that when I wasn’t working out regularly I didnt comment here because I felt like a fraud reading a hilarious blog that I loved so much without moving my butt.


    1. Glad you are moving your butt!! But you can still comment here even if you're not. I'm sure you wouldn't be the only one. How is Michelle's book?

  4. I have done exactly the same thing with my car but I went to WORK for 7 hours!! It was insane and I needed gas and I felt like the biggest moron on the planet.
    And, although my mom wasn't murdered (unless you see cancer as a murderer) I know how it feels to mourn the loss of someone for years and years and yes "life goes on" but never the same. I'm sorry for yours and for her family and no, I cannot believe it's been 7 years!
    I don't believe in dry January but I do believe in good TV and Homecoming was amazing!

    1. OMG 7 hours. I don't feel so bad. Sorry about your mom, so heartbreaking.


  5. Something reminded me of the virtual run we did around here for your cousin recently so she has been on my mind too. Good to hear about her family; thanks.
    Add "Derry Girls" to your Netflix list. Hysterical- with or without wine.
    Thoughts to Andrea and a thank you for that quote.

    1. Thanks for the recommendation on Derry Girls. I've seen it on there but not watched it yet.

  6. I live about 90 minutes from the town where Mollie Tibbets ran her last run so yes, Sherry's story and others like it are always on my mind.

    My neighbor left his car on all night once. He wasn't driving it much (he had a company car and was waiting for the lease to be up on this one) so he started it on a really cold night. The next morning I got up, got the paper, and saw that it was still running. My husband texted him and asked if he meant to leave his car running all night. He definitely wasn't participating in Dry January!

    1. Yes, Mollie Tibbets - so incredibly awful. I think about her a lot too.

  7. Super sorry about your cousin. I'm surprised I never saw your story on RW.
    I'm with Andrea and the only thing that's dry is my skin in this damn dry CO weather.
    Right now, we're watching the latest season of Top Chef on Hulu - Denver addition! It's cool to see so many familiar things. One of the chefs is from Brooklyn and apparently makes the best biscuits in the world. I was going to hit up his restaurant, Butterfunk, when I am in NJ in April (to run the NJ marathon!) but I've found that it closed down on NYE! Blast!
    Last year, I read the most books I've ever read in a year. However, I've been reading Anthony Bourdain's first book for months and can't get myself to finish it. I've either gotten lazy or don't want it to end.
    I never have to think about the latest stoopid thing I've done, but I did this time! Since you love farts as much as I do, I'll tell you that I had two co-workers in my office a few weeks ago and audibly farted when they made me laugh too hard. Somehow they didn't hear it.
    If we were drunk or drinking coffee, I'd tell you that I actually like the smell of horse poop. I would also tell you that when I'm 90, I will STILL be laughing at farts, especially my own.

    1. I loved Anthony Bourdain's first book - I am assuming you're talking about Kitchen Confidential?

      That fart story is hilarious. I think the last time I actually peed myself from laughing was when my aunt did the same thing. Those are the best farts - the surprises.

  8. I did almost the same thing (way back in 1999), but it was an old Honda Accord and there were no key codes. I just straight up locked my door from the inside, got out, and then shut the door. Which I promptly, "Yelled out, FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKK." My car was still running and I had no way of getting in and I had 15 minutes to get to a final exam. I ran to a security guard out of breath, told him where my car was, asked him to get a locksmith, and ran to my test. I passed. Came out and the guy had my keys waiting. I felt like a moron, but I hadn't slept in two days.

    I just recently binged Tidying Up and have organized part of my house. My husband is scared, because he knows I'm in a tornado zone and that I love it.

    I'm currently reading Anna McNuff's Fifty Shades of USA about her bike adventure through all of the 50 states. I absolutely love it. I think I have a massive girl crush on her. I think you will love it.

    I remember running that first Virtual Run. Has it been that long? God, I'm getting older and older by the years. See what I did there?

    I'm admittedly doing a dry January except for five specific days (New Years Day, because Mimosas), ATL trip (because vacation), After my first half marathon in a year (because post half marathon beers are the best), and my hubby's birthday. In my defense, I didn't know this was a thing, a trend. My running partner said she was currently doing 21 days of sober in which she would finish up after the half marathon and she had one mimosa at our New Years Day Party. I realized how much I drank during December, especially the last two weeks. I just needed a break. My hubby wanted a break too. So, there you go. I realized I could down a bottle of Malbec just because I'm bored.

    Anyways, have a good day!

  9. Last summer, I couldn't get into my car after a run--damn remote died. I actually accepted a ride home from a stranger so I could get my spare key. Only to find out later from husband that there is a hidden key inside the key fob and I could have unlocked the door manually. Doh!

    This is why there will never be a Dry January, February, or any other dry month at my house. Because I do stupid things all the time.

  10. You are exactly right! That's what I said about not letting fear hold you back and we still need to get out there and run and be smart about it.

  11. Are you doing Dry January? Yes

    Favorite TV show right now? Killing Eve

    Best book you've read lately? Anything by Lou Berney

    Stupidest thing you've done lately? Dry January

    What would you tell me if we were drunk? Or, sipping on coffee? Always give people your 100%....even if they don't.

  12. I've left my car running so many times. Most recently while I was having a lunch meeting at a doctor's office - for over 1.5 hours! I don't feel easily distracted, but actions clearly tell otherwise. Have also had 2 cars stolen, not while running oddly enough, you would think I'd be a bit more in tune. Current favorite shows - Schitt's Creek and The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Happy 2019!

  13. bookmarked!!, I love your web site!

  14. Are you doing Dry January? Well, since it's February now, I guess not. Seriously, though, why would anyone choose January to go dry when it has so many days. We had a dry Feb last year but we're just planning to cut back to 1 drink/day, with a few dry days a week this year - mostly because I just retired from my job and I'm feeling too celebratory to give it up entirely.

    Favorite TV show right now? We JUST got Netflix after having no TV for years, and it's interesting how few series have really caught my interest so far. In January, I was addicted to "The Good Wife" for awhile but then Season 5 happened. Also loved the Kominsky Method. My favourite thing so far though is "The Good Place". You'll maybe notice a theme here. A like shows about people who are trying - often unsuccessfully - to become better versions of themselves.

    Best book you've read lately? Honestly, I've hardly been reading lately but I did love Jann Arden's "Feeding My Mother". Inspiring and beautiful for anyone who's life has been touched by Alzheimer's.

    Stupidest thing you've done lately? Not retired sooner.

    What would you tell me if we were drunk? Or, sipping on coffee? I would tell you that retirement is great so far - though I feel like a bit of a fraud because I don't really plan to "retire" in the traditional sense. I'm just repurposing my life to include more fitness, more community engagement, more political activity,m more creative pursuits (including blogging, I hope) and (most important of all) more time with my friends and family. The sucky bit is that aging isn't for sissies, as it turns out, so I'll have to squeeze in a little more self-care as well. Wish me luck, okay?

    Oh, and I too have been reading your blog long enough to remember when Sherry died, and to have taken part in a couple of memorial runs. I still think of her every time I run in Peace Park. I hope knowing her story touched so many is of some small comfort at least. Hugs all around.