Some very interesting incidents having taken place today in the life of SUAR.
- During my 1.5 hours of hot yoga, something startling occurred. We were about 60 minutes in, dripping sweat, doing our Warrior poses. The person to my right started farting. Uncontrollably. Loud. Echoing throughout the quiet, music-less studio. One after another after another. Much like a motorcycle or an AK-47. Just when I thought they had ceased, yet another huge gaseous explosion would occur. It was like being in a torture chamber. I pursed my lips, trying not to laugh or wet myself. I thought, “Please, have mercy. Let this person stop their endless farting or I shall have to leave the room in hysterics and I will be banned from here for life.” I looked around. No one cracked a smile. No one fessed up. Who are these people? A bunch of mature adults? People who expect and accept gas with no reaction? Where I come from farts are acknowledged. Laughed at. Made a topic of conversation. Thankfully, at the very moment when I thought I couldn’t take it anymore, it ended. Just like that. There is a God. And even he/she knows when enough is enough.
- After yoga I came home and I had lunch. Leftovers of shrimp/spinach salad and chicken enchiladas. I went to run some errands and my stomach was quite bubbly. I felt fine, but I had gas much like the person in the yoga class. Dammit, I thought, her gas was contagious after all. I went about my way, and when I got home I made some mint tea, which always settles things down. In the midst of the tea making, I passed a bit of gas. With a chaser that may or many not have been a shart. I bowed my head in shame. Don’t roll your eyes. You’ve done it too. And if you haven’t, your day is coming.
- I was feeling a bit overwhelmed and needed some relaxation. In borrowing an idea from Amanda, I asked my daughter to draw a picture with gel pens on my back. It would be like a mini massage. Here’s the result – and I didn't even have to pay her to make the picture about running. I’m not sure why my left leg is so large compared to my right (maybe it has to do with the bad hip) or why I have an afro coming out from my head. I do have nice boobs, though:
- We went to some friends for dinner. My dear girlfriend made a confession. She told me she blow dries her pubes after showers. Finds it to be a pleasant experience and likes that “dry feeling.” I’ve never heard of such a thing. This is entirely new territory for me. I found myself wondering if this is common. Maybe just with those who don’t trim regularly and have some extra length and volume.
I don’t know what to say. It was a day of firsts. I learned a lot. I experienced a lot. I grew a lot as a person.
Always up for new experiences,
SUAR
