Thursday, May 30, 2013

Let’s Pee In the Corner

When we finished the Bolder Boulder 10K this weekend, Ken told me that there was some guy near him who puked his guts out at the finish line. I really hate those stories because I hate puke so  much (well, no one likes it – but my issue is definitely phobia-level), and I always consider myself lucky to not be near pukers during races (I mean, seriously, give me sweat, blood, phlegm, poop and I’m golden. But keep the puke far, far away).

Today our pictures came back from the race and here is one of Ken. Guess who is behind him?

image

I guess I was too busy waving my club around to notice:

image

So, puking aside, decided to do a sprint triathlon this coming Sunday, which is funny because there has been no training for it. Training isn’t necessary for every race, is it?

I got my butt to spin class just so I can remember how to pedal before Sunday. The instructor was playing that song by the Red Hot Chili Peppers “The Zephyr Song” – you know the one that says “Fly way on my zephyr” ?  (What is a zephyr anyway?) She said she always thought the lyrics were “Fly away on my cellphone” (listen to it – it really sounds like that).

I swear, at any given time I have 42 songs that I think I know the lyrics to, but don’t. It really is quite amusing.

  • I thought “Like a virgin, touched for the very first time” was, “Like a virgin, touched for the 33rd time.”
  • I thought “Every time you go away,you take a piece of me with you” was, “Every time you go away, you take a piece of meat with you.”
  • I thought (from Losing My Religion by REM) “That’s me in the corner” was, “Let’s pee in the corner.”

Let’s pee in the corner!! LOLAM (Laughing Out Loud At Myself)

The best is when you think you know the lyrics and you are singing at the top of your lungs and someone says, “Uh, wait. What do you think this song says??” Then they laugh at you for a very long time, as I’ve they’ve never gotten any lyrics wrong.

Do you ever throw up at the end of races (or during)? Me? No.

Ever do an spontaneous race that you really haven’t trained for? No, not usually. I’m usually too Type A for that.

Ever get the lyrics wrong in songs? (It cannot just be me)

SUAR

61 comments:

  1. I'm never going to be able to listen to REM the same again.... :) Have a great time at your sprint!

    Sarah
    www.thinfluenced.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. I thought Guns N Roses' "Paradise City" said "Very last city" until very recently.

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  3. I've felt like I was going to throw up before, but thankfully no - not yet. Have signed up spontaneously for some 5Ks. My best friend growing up used to sing "Wake me up before you go-go" (WHAM) as "Wake me up and make me cocoa!" LOL Love your REM twisted lyrics.

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  4. I can't look at that pic of your husband for too long or my puke phobia will take over all rational thought in my head. No, I don't puke when I run. *shudder* I read about a girl who ran a race with the stomach flu and barfed at all the aid stations and thought she was an inconsiderate jerk to be out there knowing she would be barfing. Seriously.

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  5. Hahahah! The barfer in the background! That's hilarious! I thought I saw you eating a cupcake on the course, but then I realized that lady wasn't dressed up as a cavewoman- and also that there'd be NO WAY I could have caught up to you at any point. haha! It's probably for the best- I would have hyperventilated and tripped myself *celebrity siting embarrassment avoided*
    Glad you guys had a fun race! It was SUCH a beautiful weekend! Good luck in your tri!
    ~Sonja

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  6. I thought "give me the beat, boys, and free my soul" was "give me the beach boys and free my soul"

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    Replies
    1. Omg. No way. Up until I read this I thought it was beach boys

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  7. I just did 2 sprint triathlons 2 weeks apart with next to no training. (Well, I think I ran 8 miles total the month before the first triathlon, and I guess you could call the first triathlon training for the second... Anyway, it was fun. No pressure, no expectations. Just fun.

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  8. I have only puked once during a race ~ the Anthem Triathlon. I wasn't feeling well the night before but my friend had already loaded up her bike on my car so I was locked in. I puked about halfway through the run but finished the race. I was considerate enough to stumble over to a retention pond to puke so other racers didn't have to see it or smell it.

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  9. I thought for sure I was going to puke at a race, but luckily I made it through. Also, I corrected my husband years ago on the song "Would I lie to you" - he thought it said "hoodala". I have no idea where he got that from.

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  10. I've had several incidents of dry heaves at the end of races recently - including the last 2 BB10Ks. I suspect I haven't done the workouts to prepare for tough finishes that dramatically raise my heart rate. Like those hills leading into Folsom Stadium do to my heart. Up, then down, up then down. I ran through it this year because I was racing the clock and couldn't afford to stop - but it hurt and I hate it. Likely age related.

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  11. I went to a marathon with my friend to be the post-marathon designated driver and I signed up to run it with....well.....ummm...very little training. Stupid, yes! But, did fairly well.

    Enjoy the race, you will do fine!

    -PC

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  12. love it!
    no,ive never puked during or after a race-i too have emetaphobia and i have been in situations where i had to jump over puke puddles in order to cross the finish line. i thought i was going to die!!!!!!!!!!lol!!!
    and yes,i get lyrics wrong all the time,but the most memorable one-
    all alone is all we are by nirvana--i always thought they said "oh no,lasagna!"
    when i admitted this to my husband,the music guru...well i hid myself in shame!
    ha!
    and yes,ive jumped in on races i havent trained for or havent trained well for....
    and sometimes that can be a very humbling experience!!!
    good luck this weekend!

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    Replies
    1. Totally thought it was "Oh no Is all we are" until I just read this......Julie

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  13. Have you heard the song "4 Minutes to Save the World" by Madonna and Justin Timberlake? Every time I hear it, I think of you. The line goes "If you thought it, it better be what you want." I always hear it as "If you FARTED, it better be what you want." Like it better be a fart and not something else. :)

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    Replies
    1. Haha!! Yes, if you fart you definitely don't want it to have a chaser, or be something else!

      Delete
  14. Have you done a tri before? Curious- I don't recall reading anything tri-related from you :)

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    Replies
    1. Yes, I've done several sprints, one olympic and one 70.3.

      Delete
  15. I was barf girl in the finish chute of my last marathon. Miserable and embarrassing, and then I felt a thousand times better.

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  16. Irene Cara's "What a Feeling" (from Flashdance I think?) I thought "Take your passion and make it happen." was "Take your pants off and make it happen."

    That Kyrie song from the mid 80's I thought it was "Carry a laser down the road that I must travel"

    Big Jet Airliner: I thought "Big old jet airliner, don't carry me too far away" was "Big old Jed had a light on..."

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    Replies
    1. I always thought they were saying "carry a lazer" too!!

      Delete
  17. I'm surprised this link hasn't been shared with you yet...unless it was on the book of faces. http://youtu.be/iefStFNywPE Misheard lyrics from the 90s. Some of them are spot on others it's a bit of a stretch.

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  18. Never puked, thank goodness! I signed up for a marathon 2 weeks before the race. I finished, but it definitely wasn't pretty!

    I thought "Tragedy" by the BeeGees was "Hercules". Then couldn't figure out why I couldn't find the song on iTunes after hearing it in spin class.

    I promise I'm not an idiot. :)

    Most of the time!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Erm, you may not be alone there. I thought it was Hercules too, until I read your comment, whoopsies :)

      Delete
  19. Have only run 3 races so far...and felt like I was either going to puke or pass out this past Saturday...I kept walking to make sure if either happened I wouldn't embarrass my teenagers who were running with me :p
    I love to purposely slaughter some of today's music...as long as you get the beat, you can pretty much sing whatever words you want :):)

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  20. OMG! I used to totally think it was "take a piece of meat" as well. I can remember listening to that song, dancing around my room, and thinking :"He CAN'T be saying meat - can he?"

    I've had dry heaves after a race, but never actually did the deed. Thank God!

    And I have run races I hadn't planned on, but they were all 5Ks. I'm not sure that counts :)

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  21. I puked up after my first cross country race in high school. Yes, it was one of those moments that's left a scar.

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  22. Puking is only acceptable at the beer tent.

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  23. I was thinking about my puke phobia just the other day! Well, night. I woke up feeling like I was going to barf, and instead of giving in, I laid with my face on the tile floor in the bathroom, very, very still, until an hour or so later, the feeling finally went away. If I could transfer my not-barfing willpower into my daily life, I'd be a superstar.

    The thing about me and misheard lyrics is that I sing a ridiculous number of not even words words. It's like, the first couple of times I hear the song, I just quietly hum along and try- really, truly try- to understand what they're saying. Then, the hum becomes a mumble, and the mumble becomes a "slummanah bargo" or whatever, and I keep singing that for forever.

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  24. Tonight I had a teenage boy puke after he got his vaccine. Seriously, he needs to man up. I don't like puke but if I had to pick my least favorite body fluid, it would be phlegm. You know, when people cough up a big goober and spit it out? Enough to make me gag, maybe puke...

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  25. The picture of Ken with the puker behind him is pure gold.

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  26. I live below sea level and ran a marathon at altitude...and puked 14 times during the race. It was awful. No more mountains for me.

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  27. Was the puker an 8th grade kid? I think I know him! :)

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  28. I always, without fail, get the lyrics wrong. So, my solution is just to make them up. My versions are so much better. :)

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  29. My daughter used to sing "apple bottom jeans and the boots with the fur" as "apple bottom bees and the woots with the fur". I thought that was a pretty good one!

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  30. I always thought "I want a new drug" by Hewey Lewis was "I want a new truck". Made no sense but I sang away regardless lol

    ReplyDelete
  31. I puked about mile 80 of my last MMT race. Felt much better.

    There is an old song by Emmylou Harris called "Love is a rose" and I thought she was singing "Love is a nose but you better not pick it"

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  32. I prefer to think that I'm rewriting the lyrics not singing them incorrectly, ha.

    ReplyDelete
  33. I've thrown up after crossfit.
    I ran my last half having only halfass trained for it.
    Dream Police - "The dream police; they come and pee in my bed."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is one of the funniest misheard lyrics ever! HA!

      Delete
  34. I always thought Coldplay's "Clocks" said "shoe that I pulled off my head" instead of "shoot an apple off my head". Made good sense to me. Also, I thought The Ramones "Blitzkreig Bop" lyrics were "Let's drink pop". For a really long time.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Rhianna (featuring some dude) song Stay - "Funny you're the broken one but i'm the only one who needed saving" I swear she says SHAVING, not saving!
    I'm sticking with it.

    ReplyDelete
  36. BAM! that pic of you is great. i was in Denver/Boulder a couple weeks ago and heard about this race. i so wanted to fly back and do it, but i'm poor.

    i can't think of any off the top of my head, but i was really really into the smashing pumpkins as a middle-schooler, so a ton of their lyrics are wrong in my head. the real ones are kind of depressing.

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  37. I thought "Smack my b!#@& up" was "Snap my picture." Yep. Really did.

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  38. My husband still makes fun of me because I thought the song "Who Are You?" by The Who was actually saying, "Blue warning, blue-oo! Blue-oo!"

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  39. I have never puked in a race, but I also have not gone more than a half marathon. I love Ken's picture, that one is definitely a keeper. I was laughing so hard at that poor guy.

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  40. That Jason Aldean song, Take a Little Ride, that says "slide your pretty little self on over" I thought it said "slide your pretty little cell phone over." And kept thinking that we really are obsessed with our gadgets these days! LOL

    Good luck on your race!

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  41. You know the song Panama by Van Halen? I always thought they were saying "ready to roll". Seriously. Go listen. Drives my husband nuts. ;-) He's such a purist! (I guess it would've helped to have seen the video but I didn't have MTV growing up so I had no context.)

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  42. I'm probably dating myself here, but for years I thought that the song "Voices Carry" was "Mister Scary." My husband heard me singing my version one day ("Oh, oh, we go downtown, Mr. Scary!") and kindly corrected me.

    No puking yet...Just post-run angry bowels here.

    Have fun at your tri!

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  43. I always thought puking was something you only witnessed at longer races like half marathons and marathons. But I ran a local fundraiser 5K recently and was surprised to be dodging puke piles along the route. I have not puked at a race yet, and I hope to continue my non-puking streak.

    From now on I'm going to hear, "Lets pee in the corner" when I hear that REM song. Thanks for that:)

    ~Julie

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  45. There's a new Macklemore song that I heard a couple times in spin class, and where they say "the ceiling can't hold us", I thought they were saying "let the ceiling fan hold us". My kids quickly corrected me, but I make a point of singing along to the song with my lyrics, just to annoy them.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Only the Lonley by the Hotels - Only the lonely can play is what I was told they are singing but it really sounds like Only the lonely get laid and I'm sticking with my version because it makes sense!

    ReplyDelete
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  48. Unfortunately, I've thrown up during and at the end of several races. At the 2011 Boston Marathon, my finish line photo shows me with barf bag in hand(it was empty, thank goodness)! I threw up 3 times along the course and got the bag from a first aid station after throwing up in their trash can. I was ushered into the medical tent after crossing the finish line, and given an IV for dehydration. That experience was quite amazing and everyone was so nice and helpful.

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  49. I swear there is a song by Elton John that says something about "electric boobs and a mohair suit"....

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  50. My sister thought "You and Me Endlessly" was "You and Me and Leslie".
    -Amy

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  51. I know I'm quite late leaving this comment but:
    "There's a bad moon on the rise" = "There's a bathroom on the right"
    I was in my twenties before I caught on

    ReplyDelete
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