Today was a long day IMFL of training (4 hours, 40 minutes of workouts). The end.
Before I get into that, you will not believe what went on here last night.
I was on strict orders from Coach Sharpie to rest for the day – no major chores and lots of laying around. Twist my arm. Sharpie said she would be checking in to see which movies I watched or books I read while sitting on my ass, so I knew she was serious. So, like a good student, I read a ton of Sisterland (loving this book – it is by the same author as Prep, which I also loved).
Then, Emma and I rented My Sister’s Keeper. If you’ve ever seen this movie (this was my second time) then you know you do the ugly cry through the entire two hours. It is ridiculously sad, but a good story. Fortunately I had lots of wine and jelly beans to get me through (I will say the Target brand of gourmet jelly beans may be cheaper, but they are NO Jelly Bellies).
After the movie, it was late. Emma and I went to walk Heidi. We were both kind of on edge from the movie and started talking about how some houses on our street creep us out because they are dark at night and no one leaves any lights on. I think we kind of scared ourselves.
When we got inside, Emma went up to go to bed. Ken was already asleep and Sam was in the basement with a friend. I heard Emma say loudly, “You scared me!” and I had no clue who she was talking to. She then ran downstairs, her face in her hands with the most terrified look on her face.
Me: “What’s wrong?”
Her: “There is someone standing in the corner of my room.”
Me (crapping myself out of fear): “What do you mean? WHAT? Are you sure?”
Her (voice shaky, staring to cry): “Yes, there is someone standing in my room. I thought it was Sam or one of his friends, but it wasn’t.”
Me: “Holy shit. Ok. Let me wake up dad.”
I woke up Ken who was so sound asleep he could not grasp the concept of what I was saying. EMMA SAYS THERE IS SOMEONE STANDING IN THE CORNER OF HER ROOM! GET THE EFF UP! I grabbed my phone and dialed 911, but didn’t call yet. I was on the READY. Ken edged towards the room. He turned on the all light and peeked in.
Him: “I don’t think it’s a person, but I don’t know what it is.”
Then all of a sudden it dawned on me. Earlier in the day Sam had been working on some “project.” I had no clue what it was. In that moment I KNEW that that TURD had rigged this whole thing. I turned on the light to see:
He dressed up a scarecrow we put out at Halloween. It’s about 5 feet tall.
Poor Emma. Such a good sport.
Yeah, Sam is in a time out for the rest of his life. Pay backs will be hell for him once I figure out my plan.
Now my story of today’s training will sound boring compared to dressed up scarecrows standing in the corner of bedrooms late at night.
This morning I did a 60 mile ride followed by a 6 mile run.
I’m still standing and aside from the fact that I could eat my right arm I’m so hungry, I’m feeling pretty good. Tomorrow I will get up and do it all over again – only this time a longer ride and no run. Good thing my lady parts and the bike seat have become good friends because they are spending a lot of quality time together.
Did you have an older sibling who tormented you? I have an older brother, but he never did much to me. The only thing I remember was when his friends would come over when I was little he would always tell them I wet my pants (LIE!). He would also sit on me and do that thing where you let a loogie hang out and then suck it back in.
What’s the best practical joke you’ve played or been a victim of? I still love giving people those fake scratch lottery cards that make them think they’ve won a million dollars (<MEAN)
Best book you’ve read lately?