Wednesday, May 28, 2014

7 Confessions For The Week

I love these posts. I get to vent and you get to laugh and me.

Honestly, in this day and age of everyone’s life being so perfect on Facebook, etc, I love reading people’s confessions about the imperfections and “real life” issues of their days. We are all human and our lives are never, ever completely perfect. So, let’s let it out a bit and connect over just how not perfect we are.

1. I went on an 8.5 mile run today in 82 degree heat and did not bring water. I have no excuse for dehydrating myself and pushing over the kids in the park running through the sprinkler because I was so hot. They really should not hog the sprinkler. Adults runners need sprinklers too. Especially dehydrated ones.

2. Today is the second day in a week that I almost ran out of gas. I have been getting down to one mile left in the tank (no kidding) before rolling up to the gas station on fumes. I have no excuse for that either except that getting gas bores me and I hate spending $70 on gas that used to be $.99 when I was growing up. The good old days.

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3. I have a very bad habit of taking all the crap out of my car and putting it on the ladder in the garage. This week Ken told me there was a new rule and that no half eaten PB&J sandwiches were allowed to be left in the garage. So uptight!

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He thinks that is why we have mice in the garage. I don’t know what he is talking about.

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4. I use expired coupons and act like I don't know they are expired (lots of times they don’t check anyway).  By the way, I read this interesting thing the other day about the top things grocery store clerks want you to know such as, “Cashiers are totally checking out your eating habits even though we pretend not to.”

5. I secretly like getting stuck when there is a train crossing. It gives me an excuse to be late, and to put my car in park and just BREATHE. Something I need to do more of.

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6. I bought a new bathing suit (for lap swimming) and even though I followed the size chart, it’s too small. I still wear it even if it slightly goes up my butt. The funny thing is that when I fart in the water, I swear the air bubble stays in my suit. It is the weirdest thing. I have to stop at the end of the lane and let the air out. I am not just saying that so that I will not have to share a lane with you at the pool. (Sorry, I REALLY wish I had a picture of the fart bubble. It is hysterical).

7. Being a parent has actually made me a much more patient person. This is because if I become super impatient I am afraid I will lash out and that crazy vein in my neck will swell up and my face will turn red and I will say things I will regret. So, at 6:00 a.m. on Monday as we were leaving for the Bolder Boulder 10K I was proud of how patient I was.

Emma’s cape was supposed to look like this:

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She came downstairs and had left it on her bed all night and it looked like this (still not sure how this happened. Clearly there was a party in her bed):

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I did not lose my mind and yell and play the martyr: “Why do I always have to fix everything?? Why the hell would you sleep with this cape in your bed??” I just quietly fixed it and thought about the beer I would drink at 9:00 a.m. when I finished the race. Proud parenting moment! (well, not drinking at 9:00 a.m, but the patience thing).

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Your turn. Give me on really good confession from the week. (Now that summer is here and the kids are home full time, I think I am going to have a lot of these). Best one gets an SUAR sticker and a $10 iTunes gift card. “Contest” ends Friday.

SUAR

75 comments:

  1. I had music playing from my phone yesterday while I was riding my bike, and when I stopped at a light, I unclipped my left foot instead of the right. You know what happened next- I fell in slow motion, just as Ke$ha chimed in, "it's going down, I'm yelling timber!"
    All I could do was lay there and laugh, then slowly stand and wave/give a thumbs up to the truck across the road who saw the whole thing.

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    1. I love it! I did the same thing. A light where there are not usually very many cars and the one day, I gave at least 5 vehicles a good laugh!!

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  2. I timed a race on Sunday (the Wyoming Marathon Races to be exact!). We had to be at base camp at 4:45am, and by some magical blessing I was on the worst day of my period. Ever. The race director was kind enough to let us timers use his fancy-schmancy camper bathroom, and I drank a dumpload of coffee so Lord knows I needed it. Every time I used the tiny bathroom, I DESTROYED it with, uh, menstrual evidence. They told us to go easy on the toilet paper, and I used my ration mopping up after myself. Ugh.

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  3. Not related to anything fitness, but I HATE emptying the dishwasher... This week alone, I have already sworn at the machine, washed dishes by hand while almost yelling expletives about dishes to my animals, and even called my mom so that we could talk to each other to distract each other from the horror of emptying the dishwasher. Apparently, we share the genetics for dishwasher-emptying-hatred. I don't think this one will win my the gift card, but I think it's pretty funny... Even more so if you could see my in action.

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  4. Okay, confession time. I often post on facebook about eating healthy and I even have a page dedicated to that topic. Today I was thinking about just posting what I eat every day since people often ask , what do you eat? But then I thought, I will have to lie because after my 23 mile bike ride, half of it into the wind and all of it in a not very energetic state, I went straight from my friend's house to the gas station and bought a Mexican Coke and dark chocolate covered Acai candy. Maybe I can start tomorrow.

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  5. hahaha! I love the air bubble/fat confession!

    I cant believe that I am writing this on the internet. because i never told a single soul except my best friend who also did the same thing as me (thats the only reason I told her). so I had a track workout to do. and I needed to...poop. really realy. and the feeling didnt wax and wane. it just stayed. and it was urgent. of course it was at the ass crack of dawn and the bathrooms were locked. I couldnt go home. i had a plastic shoprite bag in my car and did what i had to do. omg. dont judge me. hahaha had a great workout though! haha

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  6. Man these are good.... I have a Night of fun about 3.8 miles from my house so the plan on Saturday night was to drive there and then run to my car the next day to get in a little run and of course pick up my stranded car. I headed out with one of my friends and we stopped at a mini mart because had not grabbed food. I snagged and apple for the road and took off running. Let me just tell you eating an Apple on a stomach filled with leftover red and white wine with a few shots thrown in was the biggest mistake when coupled with a run. By the time we got to where my car was I was hurting ( you know the kind of hurting where should not trust the fart that is on board) and hurting bad!!!! We planned to check out the farmer's market because it was such a nice day. By the grace of god my gym is located on the same street. We walked through one side and then I HAD to sprint to my gym. I raced up the 2 flights of stairs to the locker room and had the worst Dumb and Dumber moment of my life. And we all know that it is not like locker rooms have ANY privacy you are basically in the middle of the room with the worst stomach explosion of your life. needless to say I have learned my lesson apples soak up ZERO alcohol and should not be your first choice of food when fueling your self for a hungover morning run. And no not drinking the night before is not the lesson.

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    1. at least you made it to a bathroom look at the bright side :)

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    2. I'm so grown up that when I have one of those loud explosive run induced poo I giggle like a school girl. No matter where I am!

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  7. I am totally with you on #5. Thank God some things are beyond our control.

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    1. YES! I love it when that happens, too. I get to STOP for a few minutes. :)

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  8. We have trash pick up every other week, recyclables weekly. I put tonight's chicken bones in the recycle bin so they get picked up tomorrow and don't have to rot in my trash bin for a whole week.

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  9. I'm having a party for about 50 on Saturday night. My priorities are getting my regularly scheduled workouts in, not prepping the house. So to save time picking shit up, I've swept about 50 lbs. of dog hair, legos, paper, crayons, star wars figures, and other assorted pet/kid crap under one of the couches. I hope no one moves it!!

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    1. That is so funny and what a great idea!

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  10. I told my husband I was going to the library. Instead I went out for ice cream, by myself. It was marvelous.

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    1. That's awesome! I'm totally stealing that one!!

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    2. He WILL find out about it...

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  11. I was on a roadtrip for a race, driving 6 hours both ways, by myself. I put my stuffed lion in the passenger seat and belted him in for the trip, because, loneliness. I got pulled over in Indiana on the way home for expired plates, and the cop asked what the deal with the toy was, and I huffed and told him that it was a lion, and he was there for company. I'm surprised I didn't get arrested for sass. And being a creep.

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    1. C'mon. You're not telling the real reason you buckled up the lion. I bet it was so you could use the HOV lane.

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  12. HaHa - love the proud parenting moment!!!
    My proud parenting moment - the other day my husband and I were floating around in the pontoon while our 13 year old son drove it and I said, "This is what gets me through the long Kansas winter." My 13 year old said, "This and wine!" I high-fived him!!!

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    1. Awesome! Sounds like something my 15 yr old would say to me.

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  13. On Sunday, I managed a full face plant during my run at the Chattahoochee, after posting a bit on my blog about how sometimes I'm embarrassed to have people see me running. And then that evening, my husband called me out for leaving a lot of stray hairs in my bathroom sink. They come out in the comb when my hair is wet, and I can never seem to manage to walk the 3 feet to the trash can. Instead, I wait until before bed when I wash my face, and then I collect them and throw them away.

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  15. I apparently had too much wine tonight ...I can't believe I am admitting this. Had a Memorial Day race this past Monday. I am anal about race days..get up at same time...eat the same thing...basically have the same routine. I managed to set my cell phone alarm for 6am Sunday versus Monday...so needless to say I woke up 15 minutes before my ride got there. My routine was shot and it didn't help I had my period. During the run something felt weird in my crotch....not like getting swamp crotch but like a pain. On the way home I talked to my running buddy about it. We both laughed when she said..."wouldn't it be funny if you had accidently put two tampons in this morning". Lol. Get home..take out tampon..get in shower...after the shower I see something dangling between my legs....it was the string for another flipping tampon. How in the heck did I manage to put in two damn tampons. I guess after having my two kids it left me with the grand canyon of vaginas!

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    1. I have done that one too! How I don't know...:)

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  16. I've been so lazy after the long weekend, all I am doing is going for my daily 6 to 7 mile run and then I sit around being bored watching reality TV... I just pretend I got a lot done around the house when my family comes home. I'm having one of those weeks..

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  17. I emailed my family to tell them that my son had been accepted to the University and told them how excited we were about his accomplishment. What we didn't tell him was that he had been skipping one of his required classes for about a month and we weren't sure he was going to graduate on time.

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  18. I forgot my mother-in-law's birthday last Saturday. Father-in-law sent a text to my husband on Monday, otherwise I don't know when either of us would have realized our (my) flub. It was written on the calendar and everything. I also forgot my sister-in-law's birthday back in March, after seeing her just the day before. The thing is, I love them both dearly...yet I've never forgotten any other birthdays. What the eff is wrong with my brain, that it blocks out specific, important things?

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  19. Confession - I, um, let my cat sit on my lap while I'm on the crapper. What can I say, he's good company.

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  20. LOL at number 6. That's too funny.

    Confession: I sing really loudly and really terribly in the car.

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  21. Your description of the fart bubble reminded me of this video from SNL--have you not seen it? It's right up your alley...

    http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/stanx/2778988

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    1. I saw that video. Anything with farting or bodily functions is a good laugh!!

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  22. One really good confession? This week? Pity I don't live closer to you, then my confession would be about following you to the pool. Ahem.

    I am guilty of not giving my cats a sweaty body to sniff as I stretch after a run. They love it. Technically I'm tapering for a half marathon, but they don't know that. They give me the eye. I feel so guilty.

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  23. My friend made me a giant cookie and gave it to me at work. It looked so good I couldnt wait till I got home to eat some, so I put it in the passenger seat of my car and cut little pieces off and ate them while driving.

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  24. Confession: My newest guilty pleasure is reading fanfic of my favourite shows. It passes the time between work and dinner, now that I'm not marathon training (it's only been 3 days since the marathon, so there's hope that it might not be a lasting habit!).

    I'm not proud, and know how much of a loser this makes me. This shows how much I want the SUAR sticker and voucher ;)

    PS - I ran 3:43 in my first marathon, and am pretttttty proud of myself!

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  25. I was explaining to my son, that we always apologize, and I ended up saying, "You need to apologize when you hit someone, whether it was on purpose or not!" Then I realized I just told him he could hit people on purpose, so then I followed it up with, we don't hit people on purpose...parent of the year over here.

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  26. I do the same thing in our garage :)

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  27. Confession: I have been watching old Jodi Arias trial coverage via youtube... even though I watched the entire trial last year when it was on. I enjoy watching it again. What is wrong with me?

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  28. Not sure which one is the confession: 1) That prior to yesterday, I thought that Kindergarten graduations were B.S. (I mean, let's make a big deal about this when you graduate from high school...). 2) That I cried like a baby at my 6-year old son's Kindergarten graduation.

    Re: 42 Things Your Grocery Store Cashier Really Wants You To Know. I am very guilty of #37: “The self checkout is for your convenience. Therefore yelling “I hate these things!” while choosing to use them of your own free will just makes you sound like a moron.” Oops.

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  29. Confession - I am going through a midlife crisis at the moment. My solution is to get a puppy and a tattoo.

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  31. I don't put things on the ladder, but that's only because it's up higher and I can't reach it when sitting down in my car. But, I do line them up on the floor. Knowing someone else does the exact same thing (and has a hubby who complains for the exact same reason) = priceless :-)

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  32. Parenting confession: it was really warm this weekend after our long, cold winter, so I made my husband fill up the baby pool for my 2 1/2 year old daughter. I kept trying to convince her to go swimming, because it was "so hot" and I wanted to see if her new bathing suit fit her. She finally decided to stand in the pool, so I stuck my feet in too, only to realize that the water was painfully cold! I was just about to tell my daughter to get out when she slipped and fell completely in. She sprung up and said "I want to put my clothes back on!" We quickly vacated the ice cold water, but I'm definitely not winning Mother of the Year!

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  33. Spent the weekend partying for the first time in New Orleans. New Orleans=drunk fest. Like back in college days drunk fest. Swore when I downed my last cranberry and vodka Sunday afternoon there would be no more booze until July 4th. Already longing for a nice glass of cab with next Sundays' pizza. Does that make me a boozehound? Is that even possible at 46? Hmmmmm.....

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  34. Parenting confession:
    1. I managed to catch my 7 year-old daughter's head in between the car doors when I picked her up from the babysitter yesterday. She just looked at me in shock when it happened as if I did it on purpose - but I really didn't.

    2. My 12 year old son is at my parents house, and they just asked if he could stay an additional night (he has been there for 2 nights already). Is it bad that I said yes so quickly? He is getting so close to being a teenager that he and I are fighting too much. The break is doing us both good.

    Race confession: I had a Memorial Day race this past Monday and got really over-excited that I was the FIRST one to use a port-a-pottie that morning (because I got there early). I have never been in a fully clean one and it was nice - and no line of people outside. I was able to take care of my morning business in peace.

    Work confession: I have had to start logging off Facebook and other social media at work because I was spending too much time checking updates. Was killing my work mojo.

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  35. Ok, I can't stand getting Gas either it's just so ......annoying? I pretend I forget and then ask my husband to fill it when he goes on a random errand.

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  36. Confession- and I'm going to post this one as anonymous, lol. My menstrual cycles are really irregular not only when they occur but the flow. It was my youngest nieces birthday on Saturday and it was at a park, I was wearing a skirt (dark purple, thankfully) and felt that uh, things were going to start flowing. So I said I wasn't feeling well and had to go home, when I stood up blood literally soaked my skirt, ran down my leg and onto the grass. No one was paying attention to me, I high tailed it out of there, had to put a towel that was in my back seat down on the seat to drive home. The next day I was at my other nieces softball game, I put my foot up on the fence and I looked at my shoe and said what the heck, it looks like I have blood on my sandels, how the heck did I get blood on my shoe? Oh yeah...

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  37. I am in Steamboat Springs, CO this week and...gosh...Colorado is GORGEOUS. Confession: I could move from my beloved Pittsburgh to here in a minute.

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  38. Love this post. Confession - my boyfriend's low carb diet makes me feel so bad about my diet since I heart carbs and would subsist on them forever if I could. Bread, cookies, chips, pasta, etc. Yummo!

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  39. We have a small dog and other members of my family (husband and son) forget to take him out. When I get up in the morning, or get home from work there is sometimes poop next to the front door. My husband has Tues-Thurs off, so is home all day, he also goes to bed much later than me. I often ignore it and wait for someone else (husband or son) to see it and clean it up because I feel it's not my responsibility if I wasn't home (or was asleep) when he did it.

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  40. I'm afraid to toot in the pool. Honestly. Never trust a fart, right!? Especially in the pool. I think of you anytime I need to. Seriously. Your words make a lasting impression!

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  41. Confession - I totally stalked the Kimye wedding coverage. What? It's been a stressful couple weeks and I needed an outlet - ha ha!

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  42. Confession- I stayed home from an important meeting last night because I wanted to drink wine and watch community on Netflix. I lied to the others at the meeting and told them I had to stay home because my husband wasn't home from work.

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  43. Confession - While walking my dogs this morning, I see one of our neighbors at her mailbox when one of my dogs decides to stop and pee in the yard next to hers. She starts yelling at me about not picking up after my dog. I inform her that it was a #1, not a #2, but she continues her rant. After trying to rationalize with her for a few minutes (I even showed her I had poo bags in my pocket), I gave up, looked her dead in the eyes, and said, "You need to shut your mouth!".

    I am such a rebel. Disrespecting my elders and letting my dogs relieve themselves all over the neighborhood is just how I roll. BTW, does anyone know the secret to picking up urine? ;)

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    1. LOL...maybe us dog owners are suppose to carry around simple green and squirt the spot when their done? I had a neighbor once ask me not to let our dog in her yard because she and the family were "allergic to dogs and the scent comes in the open windows". I gave her the "ok you're not normal" look as I said OK real slow....it's kind of funny because her son moved back into the house and brought his dog....

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  44. My confession is: I'm COMPLETELY out of excuses as to why I'm not running or can't run. Yesterday the neighbor knocked on the door stating that the other elderly neighbors dog was "down the street looking distressed". As she went to the neighbors I jolted down the street without a care in the world except to help the dog. Turns out it wasn't the neighbors dog and was actually at his/her own house. When I came back the neighbor stated "damn girl you can run; great form too!" At that moment it dawned on me that I'll run for someone else's life and well being but had stopped running for my own? Totally f'd up...I also realized that I ran like a bat out of hell and didn't keel over or hyper ventilate....needless to say I have my running clothes so that after work I can go to the Y for some sprints....

    P.s. I'm famous for almost running out of gas...then get irritated that it costs me 50 bucks to fill up!

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  45. Confession: I got in the car to head to work after a great weekend with my boyfriend, I am sipping my first taste of morning coffee, when I hear the sound of metal hitting metal. Needless to say someone rudely parked behind my driveway and I backed into their car, denting their rear driver's side door prettttty badly. I swear the car came out of nowhere... or maybe it was my complete lack of looking behind me before backing up. Now I have a hefty bill to pay for the damage. Moral of the story: don't park behind my driveway-I am a lady driver. Or maybe the moral is that I just need to stop spacing out? haha.

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  46. I bought a new suit that is too small and does fart bubbles too!!!!

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  47. Confession I keep some chocolate hidden in the house bc sometimes you just need it! I don't want my kids to eat it so I hide it. Desperate times...

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  48. I ate the big red strawberry. That's right. The one the kids have been keeping an eye on for weeks. I ate it, and blamed it on the slugs. Those bastards!

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  49. My daughter really wanted me to make cornbread for dinner last night. She doesn’t like anything that one might serve with cornbread, so “dinner” was cornbread, celery, and shredded mozzarella cheese on the side.

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  50. Yay for patience! I'm still working on that - but I'm not a parent for another 15 years at least :)

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  51. LOVE the fart bubble confession! My teacher confession is that my students have a project due on Tuesday and I haven't completely finished my example, yet. :/ PROJECTS ARE HARD, OKAY?

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  52. I once yelled at my kids " No, you can't have a freaking donut for breakfast! Now go finish your chocolate lucky charms!"

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  53. 3 of us set out on a new trail run not really knowing where the track led us, got lost & realised none had brought a phone or water, we muddled our way out & then laughed about how dumb that was. Lesson learned.

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  54. love your #6!!!!!!!
    my confession- taking the potty training advice of my grandma, I let my soon to be 2yr old son outside in the (privacy fenced) backyard without a diaper. just when I see he needs to go,he takes off running from me and poops behind our shed. my son laughs,then runs to get the pooper scooper we use for the dog. did I teach him well or what???!
    But,I did not let him scoop his own poop, i told him that big kids use the potty and then proceeded to spray him off with the garden hose.......
    Parent of the year!?

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  55. Teacher Confession: I told my students the work for the last week of school was graded to keep them on task, even though grades were already in and submitted/finalized. All that work they turned in ended up in the recycle bin.

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  56. I work with children and often forget if I put them in "time-out". The children often ask me if time is up, and I always tell them two more minutes, regardless of how long they've been sitting there for.

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  57. My daughter can't read clocks yet. Whenever she asks how long until something, I just inflate or deflate the time left based on my own needs. Hubby and I are dreading the day she learns to tell time!

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  58. My kids this week have asked me if they can use the computer to play Minecraft, I've told them no every time saying I was "paying bills" or "going through emails". I have actually not done those at all and have been on Facebook :)

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  59. KatieinthemountainsMay 31, 2014 at 11:00 AM

    Run-related parenting confession: I screwed up the timing this morning, so by the time I got back from my run, my husband was about to bottle feed our hungry (breastfed) baby. Also, baby maxed out the diaper and soaked his onesie, sleep sack, and swing cover, and hubby dressed him funny because I just packed most of the newborn clothes and he didn't know where the 0-3 mo onesies are.

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