I mentioned in my last post that I did a 5K this weekend. This is a community/fundraiser event our family does every year (The Happy Smackah). My kids both really wanted to join in as usual because lots of their friends are there, not to mention my son got extra credit for signing up (what?).
Anyway, tell me if you ever have this happen with your kids.
Race morning comes. Daughter, 13 years old, is grumpy. She can’t find her headphones, her stomach hurts, she say she’s not going to run. I know her and this can be a pattern. She says she’s going to do something, then the day comes and she changes her mind because she doesn’t feel like it. I am really trying to teach my kids commitment, follow through and doing what you say you are going to do. I told her, fine, don’t do it, but you owe me the entry fee and you can’t play volleyball later (ouch, harsh mama). What? But, she thinks she’ll feel fine later to play volleyball. Hmmm…
Long story short, she ended up doing the race and her attitude? Well, it had flipped 180 degrees. We talked about it. I asked her to do some thinking about what happens to her in these instances – why she loses confidence and shuts down.
Me: So, give it some thought because I know you really like these events, don’t you?
Her: Yeah.
Me: Then why do you go through this?
Her: Well, it’s just that I think I want to do it, then I get to the start line and realize I don’t even really like to run. (<what? is this possible?)
Me: That’s okay. Believe it or not lots of people don’t like to run. They just like how they feel when it's done.
Her: Not you.
Me: WTF! Oh yeah, especially me. I am usually not loving every second of running. But, I love how I feel afterwards, and that is the feeling I chase.
So…we have the Bolder Boulder 10K coming up on Memorial Day. We run it as a family every year. Last year, we had a breakthrough, Emma and I. At the start Emma said, “I am going to take it one mile at a time. I am not going to think about how much further I have to go.”
She ran really strong the first three miles, and said, “I am just having confidence in myself. That is the difference between this year and last year.” (the last year was one big whine fest) YES! She loves the energy of the event, and eventually her head got in the game and she got behind herself.
Finish line last year with my friend Kathy, Emma and me:
Isn’t that what it’s all about? Just getting and staying behind ourselves? It’s like the Henry Ford quote (and why I drive a Ford – not really),
“Whether you think you can or can’t, you’re right.”
Friends, do not ever underestimate the power of your mind. It can be your best friend or your worst enemy.
By the way, if you are looking for an amazing family running event, the Bolder Boulder is for you. 50,000 of your closest friends will join you for this race complete with sprinklers, bacon and marshmallows at mile 3 (I love bacon, but not while running – that would mean certain shart action for me), belly dancers, and beer at the finish (or soda if you are a kid or not a lush like me).
And, if you are not a running family, no worries. Tons of people walk or walk/run the race. The fun is just being there, welcoming in the summer, honoring our service men and women and spending time in one the best cities imaginable (Boulder).
Trying to think of costumes for this year. Any ideas?
Do you run races with your kids? Ever had experiences similar to mine? Do you kids even like to run? My kids don’t really like running, especially distance. I never ran when I was their age and don’t remember liking it much either.
Do you eat “unofficial” food off the sidelines of races? No, not usually. I did eat some oranges at the LA Marathon because I was suffering and thought they might make me come alive, but they didn’t.
Ever run in a costume? Only at the Bolder Boulder. We’ve done cave girls, tutus and hula outfits. Might be super heroes this year. Or tampons.
SUAR
Oh h#ll yeah. My kids always pull that I don't want to do it now crap. Talk about bad mojo for my race. So I quit begging them to go with me. Good for you for saying no volleyball, haha! I hope your daughter learned something from your wise words.
ReplyDeleteIt's all about the head space! Indeed! Last year, my daughter was 4 and I she wanted to do the 2km Princess Run. I've never seen events for little kids and thought it would be fun. She loves Triathlons as I do them and she wants to do one when she is big enough (probably now!?). She struggled the morning of the run and during it, I can't run, I can't do it, was really shocking hearing her talk that way about herself. She got it done, got a medal and was thrilled with herself. We went and did it again this year- not one complaint. Loved it. I was so happy. Probably even inspired by her :)
ReplyDeleteI am doing my first 5K on July 12. Running and athleticism are difficult for me, but this is the reason I am doing it. Running is so hard for me, but this is the reason I am doing it. It is going to take a long time for me to be able to be strong enough to run 3.2 miles straight, but I'm still going to do it. Nice blog ... just what I needed to read.
ReplyDeleteHope you have a great time at your first 5K! Try to enjoy it - and remember, first time doing any different length race (5K, 10K, 8K, etc.) ALWAYS means a PR!!
DeleteI wish so much that I could have done the Bolder Boulder!!! I went to CU, but was always home for the summer by the time it came around. It's on my bucket list for sure!!
ReplyDeleteThat's awesome that you do it as a family.
Yay Emma! Haha my brother pulls the same "I can't ... " routine - but his is for school. He was fine to play video games and be outside, but he had too much of a stomach ache to go to school.
ReplyDeleteI used to take some unofficial food before I knew that it is technically illegal. Have never taken beer before, though I'm tempted. Maybe in a "fun" race.
ReplyDeleteMy nearly-6-yr-old daughter is just the opposite! She soooo wants to run and then about halfway thru she craps out and it becomes whinefest. Even when she gets a medal, it's still not always a fun mood. But I keep putting her in bc she wants to and I want my kids to stay active. My almost 10-yr-old son is not a runner at all, rarely he will go out with me BUT if he gets a medal-it's on! He's an Aspie and his coordination is terrible but the thought of that medal gets him going every time! (He gets that from me; I LOVE me some bling! lol)
ReplyDeleteI was an Easter Basket for my last 5k ..I can't figure out how to get the pic in the comments but I can FB it to you
ReplyDeleteemail it to me beth@shutupandrun.net
DeleteJust emailed it to you let me know if you don't get it
DeleteI drive a Ford. I love it because of keypad outside of the door. It means I never have to carry my keys when I run which makes it a great car for a runner.
ReplyDeleteThe Bolder Boulder looks like fun. I am too many states away to consider it.
YES. It might sound minor, but that is actually one of the reasons I chose my car. I never have to worry about bringing keys or getting locked out. It works great for people who work out a lot!
DeleteOh, do I have lots to say about this post!
ReplyDeleteAll 3 of my kids ran races with me when they were younger, and had a blast with it! My oldest son ran his first half marathon with me at age 13, then ran a full marathon ( by himself) at 16. I was so stinking proud of him!! Now he is 19, and CANNOT BE BOTHERED with running anymore. Way too busy being a college student I guess....
My daughter lost her love of running by about age 10, so I stopped forcing the issue. She will still run the occasional 5k with her cousin just for fun, but never with me :-(
My youngest has done lots of 5k and 10k races, and is actually by far the most gifted athlete in the family. When he decides to really try, he usually wins his age category (he is 11 now). Recently he has started being so whiny though! We ran a St Patricks day 5k and he whined the entire time!! I was embarrassed- and afraid people would think I force him to run races (he wanted to run it and was excited- but about 2 blocks in told me "I don't wanna do this anymore" and that was that). So now, I have to decide whether I keep signing him up and encouraging him? Or let him choose not to run with me?? I'm so sad- I love running with my kiddos!
When my youngest son was in middle school, he begged me to sign him up for most of the 5ks I was running. (He discovered he liked running at age 5). When race day came (usually very early on a Saturday morning) he didn't want to go. He would find every excuse he could (he's my drama king). I would let him out of it once in a while, but most of the time I made him go. At the Race for the Cure one year, he was so mad at me for making him go, he refused to get out of my friend's car, and insisted he had a broken leg!! He eventually gave in, ran the race, PR'd and got 2nd place in his age group! So much for the broken leg! His problem was that he just wasn't a morning person (like me), but once he got to a race he was fine. He went on to run cross country in high school, was the top runner on his team his senior year, and was All State. He still loves to run today, and is planning to run a marathon in the future. Don't give up! There is hope!
DeleteBroken leg!! Emma should try that one. She is not a morning person either, and I do think that is part of the problem.
DeleteI'm just glad to see that other people make their kids finish the races they sign up for too! I felt like such a bad mom when he was complaining through the entire 5K- not only would I not let him quit, I wouldn't even let him stop to walk. (I know, I'm mean. I knew he could do it without walking easily, and I figured if we stopped once he'd want to stop 10 more times....) He was grumpy at me the rest of the evening. One of the ladies came up to me afterwards laughing- said she couldn't help but overhear me "coaching" him. Had to laugh out loud when I started chanting to him "less complaining, more running, less complaining, more running....." It's our new mantra.
DeleteI've never run a race in a costume before...I've always thought that it would drive me nutz!
ReplyDeleteWise, wise, wise post. This all the way.
ReplyDeleteAs I teacher, I have to thank you. Parents like you, who are willing to actually talk to their kids and figure out how they're feeling and why they get moody, etc, are seriously 1/1,000,000 it seems.
ReplyDeleteThat tampon outfit is too hilarious. Bring extra body glide if you go with that one.
ReplyDeleteI've had a similiar experience recently with my 10yo. She was all excited for the Girls on the Run 5k that she had been working towards all semester, but come race day she totally shut down and didn't want to do it. Definitely a confidence issue for her as well.
that was so cute with emma. you handled that perfectly. i hate when parents are the ones pushing their kids to do things...play on 1000 baseball teams, be the next wayne gretsky, etc. haha its too much. i dont have kids yet so i guess i shouldnt be talking but i always think to myself...that I am going to encourage whatever sport my kid wants to do but at the same time give them a role model to look after and give them positive encouragement and motivation. just like you did with emma. she is going to be like you one day...chasing that feeling of the post-race/training highs! haha
ReplyDeleteWe don't have kids, but I have taken my older niece (13) to a couple of races like The Color Run. She's a dancer but I think it's important to at least expose her to other athletic outlets. She'll run the first mile, whine and complain the next mile and a half, and then sprint past me near the finish line so she can tell her friends she outran me. :-) But it's something fun for us to do together and different for her, so I'll let her pass me as long as she wants to.
ReplyDeleteBefore one of my favorite ultras, a 50 miler on my home course, this always happens. The alarm goes off, I'm filled with dread and seriously consider just staying in bed. Hubz has figured me out and gives me a quick rubdown and pep talk and says you know you always feel this way and then you go out and PR!
ReplyDeleteI don't know why it happens at this race particularly. I'm not even one of those nervous-at-the-start people at any other race. I almost always have the "go run, enjoy the beautiful trails and see what happens" attitude.
Once I'm out there, I focus on "running the mile you are in", kind of like Emma's strategy last year. It really helps. Doing the math and thinking of how far you still have to go is not helpful!
We wanted to drive down to Boulder for this race this year, but I don't think it's going to happen. Maybe next time!
ReplyDeleteDid people call you Wilma?
ReplyDeleteI run about half my races in costume. Usually it's as a court jester, or in a parrot outfit on Thanksgiving as the Turkeynator. I did wear a pink tutu once. It helped me get in touch with my feminine side. I need to find something new if I run the marathon in Iowa next month - perhaps an ear of corn costume?
I can't believe how much I can relate to Emma and the way she feels when race day comes. You spelled it out perfectly, that love-hate relationship with running. It's all about the feeling afterwards.
ReplyDeleteMy boys have finally decided they like running!!
ReplyDeleteMy oldest runs a few miles most days but won't go with me.
My youngest (13) is training for his first half - this has been awesome because I do all of his long runs with him and will run/pace him during his race.
I've done 2 5Ks with my kids (ages 10 and 9) and they like it well enough. We walk some, run some, but when I tell them they've just done something lots of people have never done and will never do, they were quite pleased with themselves.
ReplyDeleteI took an ice pop from someone on the side of the road during a very hot, July 15K. Best. Thing. Ever.
I bought a snow cone after my 1/2 relay (I ran 6.55 miles) & I now believe they should give you one at the end of every race.
DeleteI wanted to do an event with my 16yo daughter & she chose the Color Run, except on the morning she refused to run. So we walked it together & had a blast rolling around in the colour. In the end it was about having a good time together not how we did the 5k.
ReplyDeleteI think its fantastic of you, a running Mamma, to let your children explore what they love to do as well as introducing them to everything so they can decide for themselves and choose their own healthy life style!! Woot Woot for you Momma!!
ReplyDeleteHa I totally did that as a kid and my parents wouldn't let me quit either! Keep up the good work, shell thank you someday.
ReplyDeleteI dressed as a kitty cat for a Halloween race one year. In the finish chute, I see my husband laughing as he is watching me finish, but I was too busy trying not to die to pay attention. When I finish, I look down and realize my kitty tail has worked its way from the back and gotten caught between my legs and is flopping to and fro as I run! You get the picture ... obscene, but funny.
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