Monday, February 23, 2015

Waking Up Half Naked In A Denny’s Parking Lot

I am being a baby and a RP (Running Procrastinator) right now. Because of this:

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After a few days of being spoiled and running in shorts, I am now back to bundling up and having my ass freeze. I am reminded of this profound cartoon.

Everyone everywhere is complaining about weather. This happens every year, every season. “WTF! It is snowing in Colorado in February!” “WTF! It is 90 degrees in Florida in June!”

I say, “WTF!! I can see why you are so surprised the weather is doing exactly what you know it does every year!” (Okay, I’ll give a pass to those of you in Kentucky. And Boston. My apologies. Will you thaw out by the marathon?).

So, I can put off my ass freezing for a few more minutes, I will tell you about my weekend.

  • I turned 48. Happy birthday to moi.
  • Emma and exchange student Antoni sang me happy birthday while playing their ukuleles. Best gift on the planet.

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  • The Spaniard wrote “Happy Birthday” in the snow

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  • The group I coach (Fast Forward Sports) and myself did 3 x 3 miles at half marathon pace on Saturday. It hurt.
  • We played 2 hours of Cards Against Humanity. Got to love a game that has cards like this:

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  • I tried Wal-Mart To Go. You know – the service that delivers your groceries. Yes, I will run marathons, but am too lazy to go to the grocery store. This service ROCKS. Free delivery for 3 months. Cheap prices. If you are like me and hate the Wal-Mart shopping experience (butt cracks galore, screaming children), but love the prices, this is the option for you (this is not a sponsored post, I just like the service).

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  • We watched 3 episodes of Homeland Season 3.
  • I received my first pair of non-black running tights (Under Armour).

imageThis is not me

  • I finished this book. Love.


  • I educated myself about Israel culture/history for my upcoming trip. So much amazing history that my brain is on fire.  I learned (among other things) that breast milk is kosher but only if taken directly from the breast and if the child is under the age of four.

Wow. All those bullet points. What a weekend.

 

Tell me one random thing about your weekend?

What’s the last book you read?

SUAR

54 comments:

  1. My husband rented a bouncy house obstacle course for my 40th birthday party. :)

    Last book was Harry Potter and the Deathy Hallows.

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    Replies
    1. I love the idea of a bouncy house...although with my wine consumption and lack of coordination I'm sure I would have come out bruised and with a few broken bones!

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    2. There was road rash and alcohol consumption but only a few falls and no serious injuries. :)

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  2. A spin class fundraiser followed by beer and cookies. All spin classes should end this way.
    Jane Austen Girl. Not what the title implies.

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  3. Thanks for the book tip, going to get that one!

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  4. Feliz cumpleanos!

    I read that book too! Creepy characters. I just finished Honey Do you Need a Ride: Confessions of a Fat Runner bc I'm hosting a running book club on my blog. The book was fun and real. Although she's really not fat. Lots of LOL moments. Nothing as funny as your post about the cafe bathroom stop tho...

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  5. Happy birthday! This weekend I won a best-dressed trophy. I mean, for an Oscars party with silly costumes, but I will take what I can get.

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  6. happy happy birthday! I am reading Girl on the train right now and it just got really good. :)

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  7. One of the ladies in our running group got caught with her pants down while taking a pee in the road. We have so much snow in VT it's easier to just pee or poop (yup it happens) right in the road. We run 10 miles on a Very quiet river road. Well nice man in pick up stopped and covered his eyes while she got put back together. Funniest thing ever. He had the biggest smile on his face as he drove past! We don't even know you but your blog makes us always laugh and love that you talk about peeing and pooping and running! Thought you'd like the story of getting caught with the pants down.

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  8. Random fact: my kids were irritated that I was taking them to a "running" movie this weekend- McFarland, USA. I knew the exact moment they decided to secretly love it. A must see!

    Last Book- Orphan Train. So good, yet so sad that we treated orphans with such a cavalier attitude in the 1920s.

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  9. I am LMAO because I thought your post title was "Waking Up Half Naked in a Disney Parking Lot". I swear I read the whole post without realizing it.

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    Replies
    1. Hahaha!! I have to say that Disney parking lot is WORSE than Denny's parking lot. At least at Denny's you can go right inside for a Grand Slam.

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  10. The last book I read was the Andy Cohen Diaries. Very entertaining but not exactly a literary masterpiece :)

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  11. I love cards against humanity but my kids won't play it with me! Which is weird because nothing else embarrasses them.........

    3x3 miles sounds horrible!

    Happy Birthday!!!!!

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  12. Happy Birthday! I would write something incredibly witty and mildly inappropriate, but the evenings wine consumption lays high odds on any comment being the exact converse.

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  13. 48!?? You're having us on, aren't you? I cannot fathom the depths of depravity that would have someone waking up half naked in a Denny's parking lot. Then again, I don't get out as much as I should.

    I ran 8K. Last book was Unbroken by the author of Seabiscuit.

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  14. Why not a picture of you in those tights...? you do look amazing for 48, I would turn and have a second look!
    Raced 15km trail race and I only seem to read my log book!

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    Replies
    1. Awww...thanks...with those words maybe I WILL post a photo.

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  15. Happy Birthday Beth! You do look amazing. I want your abs. Last weekend I ran my first half marathon. I am still hobbling and nursing three black toenails. It was an awesome experience though.
    Sadly, I am finishing my degree so the only books I have time for are textbooks. But I always sneak in enough time for your blog. Thank you for being the laugh I need in this super stressful time.

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    Replies
    1. Congrats on your first half!! Even if you are hobbling and have black toenails, you did it!

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  16. I'm reading "Shark Skin Suite," by Tim Dorsey - it reminds me of all the wackiness I'm missing by not living in Florida (kind of a state-sized Walmart, actually)

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    Replies
    1. Heh...heh..."state sized Walmart" Perfect description.

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    2. As a Florida resident I can confirm your description. I'm surrounded by mullets, pork rinds, and trailer parks.
      Sigh.....

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  17. Girl on the Train = AWESOME!! I love the unstable characters. Great choice! Glad you liked it. I had no idea about the Walmart delivery service. I wish we had that down here because it would 1) save me money not trotting around my daughter with me 2) save my insanity.

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  18. Looked at photo albums with my grandparents.

    Book? One More Thing By BJ Novack, one word summary: hilarious.

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  19. Happy Birthday!!!
    I ran my first 22k trail race and I didn't fall once. I call that win!!

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  20. Tough 24 KM training run on Saturday. I had a PB the previous weekend in a Half Marathon. Still feeling it a week later.
    Most recent book, Still Alice. Really enjoyed it except I am feeling forgetful and I am about the same age as Alice. A bit worrisome.
    Happy Belated Birthday!

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    Replies
    1. Congrats on your running!! BTW I loved Still Alice. I didn't realize it had been made into a movie.

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    2. I always love your book recommendations. And I also read Still Alice and saw the movie. Loved both!

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  21. I ran one mile with my also out of shape dog. :) Getting back into it!

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  22. I recently read and loved both QUEEN OF SOMEDAY by Sherry Ficklin and TO ALL THE BOYS I'VE LOVED BEFORE by Jenny Han (I think that's her name).
    Love those tights!

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  23. The last book I read was written by Sarah Lotz about 4 airplane crashes!

    Momshomerun

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    Replies
    1. I probably won't read that one on my flight to Israel...

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  24. Nicole has nice umlauts. You want a random thing about my weekend? At the wedding we attended in New Hampshire, the band that played at the reception was awesome. It was The Stooges, from New Orleans. Wind it up! After the dinner, they put out jars of penny candies for everyone to make goodie bags. I took more than my fair share of malted milk balls. Great wedding!

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    Replies
    1. Oh, and my kids play cards against humanity all the time. It's kind of embarrassing when I have to ask THEM what the words mean.

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    2. I wish I had nice umlauts. I love the penny candy idea. Malted milk balls rock.

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  25. Last two books I read that I highly suggest: The Martian (awesome, and he uses the F-word, so you would like it :) ) (and he has an awesome sense of humor) and Still Alice.
    Kelly

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  26. I just finished the Handmsids Tale and am about 50 pages into Born to Run.

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