If we were to sit down for happy hour today and have a glass of wine, this is what I would tell you.
Today I got curious about the Whole30 plan. In five minutes I got un-curious about it because...what? No alcohol. No beans. No sugar. No pancakes. I'm sweating just thinking about it. All of the refraining. All of the cravings. All of the desperation and longing. They say do it because you will feel a million times better. But what if you already feel pretty darn good? No alcohol. No pancakes, I said. Have you tried it? Maybe I will live vicariously through you.
If we were having a glass of wine or two I would let you know that I cannot wait for this weekend of running. I'll be doing a total of 20 miles - tomorrow 6 miles with hill repeats, Sunday 14 miles of trails. If you ask me what I want to do on Mother's Day, it truly is to run on the trails, eat good food, have my family around me. I'm pretty simple that way.
Two glasses in, and the inhibitions are starting to slip a bit. I would now probably tell you that one of my worst habits is picking. Picking my cuticles. Then I'd show them to you like an ashamed child. (what? I could be picking my butt. I don't do that). I've done this for years, but at times it's worse than others. It's not a nervous habit, it's just a habit and something I like to do for some weird reason. Right now my cuticles look like a war zone. Angry, red, torn up. I'm not proud of it, but in the world of bad habits, this one is probably more harmless than some.
What is wrong with me? |
Now I would tell you that I feel motherhood slipping away from me. Yes, I will always be a mother, but as my kids get older, they are around less and need me not quite as much. That's why when they ask me to do something for them that I know they can do for themselves, I do it (i.e., "Mom you are the only one that can make Kraft Mac and Cheese taste the best...can you make it for me?"). That is why I still stand by on the sidelines, watching them as they navigate their way through basic daily tasks, witnessing that they are their own people and now live their own lives. More than ever I am understanding that damn corny ass book that always made me tear up, "Love You Forever" (as long as I'm living my baby you'll be).
That is why I pause while in Target watching the woman with the toddler in her cart as they chit chat away about if they should buy Cheerios, because it was just yesterday I was doing that exact same thing and I did not realize the total perfection of that moment.
Then I do it. Oh, no. I fast forward my brain to 94 days from today and I visualize helping Sam set up his dorm room and that moment when we hug and cry and I slowly let him go and I get in the car and I feel in every cell of my being that this moment changes everything. Don't leave. Yes, you have to leave. This is what I raised you to do. And the fact that I will miss you so much is a testament to how cool and remarkable of a person you have become. I love you as my son, but I also simply love you as a person and more than anything I will miss your company.
If I was finishing my third glass of wine I would tell you: Hell. How did this become an open letter to my son? Let me get my shit together.
Glass #4, yeah that's nearly the whole bottle. Now I tell you let's get off the sentimental boat. A confession: did I ever tell you about the time I was in labor and pooped the delivery table 10 times? Maybe that's for another day.
This has gone downhill fast.
So, tell me:
What are your Mother's Day Plans?
Ever tried Whole30?
Have you sent a kid off to college? How did you handle it?
Happy Friday!
SUAR
Right on. Enjoy the day on Sunday. (My 19-year-old just returned home after his freshman year in college. It's been a tough year...for me!)
ReplyDeleteGREETINGS everyone out there.. My name is Sarah Gomez FROM CANADA i will never forget the help Prophet Ayelala rendered to me in my marital life. i have been married for 5 years now and my husband and i love each other very dearly . after 3 years of our marriage my husband suddenly change he was having an affair with a lady outside,i notice it then i was praying for divine intervention the thing became more serious i told my pastor about it we prayed but nothing happen. my husband just came home one day he pick up his things and left me and the kids to his mistress outside at this time i was confuse not knowing what to do again because i have lost my husband and my marriage too. i was searching for help in the internet, i saw many people sharing testimony on how Prophet Ayelala help them out with their marital problems so i contacted the email of Prophet Ayelala i told him my problem and i was told to be calm that i have come to the right place were i can get back my husband within the next 24hours. He told me what went wrong with my husband and how it happen.that they will restored my marriage. to my greatest surprise my husband came to my office begging me on his knees that i should find a place in my heart to forgive him,that he will never cheat on me again. i quickly ask him up that i have forgiven him.friends your case is not too hard why don't you give Prophet Ayelala a try they work surprises because i know they will help you to fix your relationship with your ex partner. i thank god for using Prophet Ayelala to save my marriage. Contact him via Email: ( Ayelala7demons@gmail.com ) Or Reach him on whatsapp: +2347031894318
DeleteCelebrate this Christmas season with joy and gladness in your heart...
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Dear fellow cuticle destroyer who also discusses bodily function far more than we should, at some point while we are stationed in Colorado, I hope I can meet you and even better run with you. If you ever head down to Fort Carson/ Colorado Springs and want to climb the manitou incline or run up pikes peak shoot me an email. PS. I loved whole30 and it did make me feel good, but so does the multiple types of home brew we always have at our house. Mmmmmm beeeeerrrrr.
ReplyDeleteYou had me at fellow cuticle destroyer!! I have always wanted to do the Manitou Incline, so YES if I find myself down there, let's go for it. Then we can have beer and nachos after b/c that is what life is about and we deserve it.
DeleteTaco Tuesday at Manitou Brewery every Tuesday. $9 for 3 tacos and an awesome beer. Even better they don't mind if you smell and look terrible from climbing 2000' in .9 miles.
DeleteHow I Was Rescued By A God Fearing And Trusted Lender {Lexieloancompany@yahoo.com}..
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I'm also spending Mother's Day on my the trails, and I cannot wait. My babies are still in the cheerio discussion phase (2 and 4) and I already feel like they are growing up too quickly! I can't imagine dropping them off at college!
ReplyDeleteI was picturing a slightly less war zone like cuticle. You weren't kidding!
ReplyDeleteMother's Day plans = 10k that I am completely under-trained for. Bonus points if I remember to have my husband call his mother.
Haha!! Yes on the husband comment.
DeleteWine #1, my knee has been bothering and I've been in denial about it. Not a twinge or ache but could I have really messed it up bothering me?
ReplyDeleteWine 2. My beautiful girl comes home from her first year of college in SIX days. 6!!
She goes to school 5.5 hrs and 2 states away.
She is home 6 weeks and then flies to Portugal fo 5 weeks. Ugh. And I can't afford a ticket to fly there to visit. Is it wrong that I can't stand that my daughter has traveled more extensively than I ever have?
Wine 3...I think I may have seen the smallest penis ever today....but that may be a story for glass #4.
Love your blog. I live vicariously through you. Mother's Day hubs and I will be on vacation on the Georgia coast. Yes, I sent my only child (son) to college and cried every day the first week he was gone. He graduated 4 years ago. He moved to Nevada two years ago for his job. We live in Tennessee. No, I've not tried Whole30.
ReplyDeleteSending you child off to college is the absolute worst. No one prepares you for how awful it is. I wept uncontrollably for the entire three hour drive home, and I am NOT a weeper. The night before she left we all had ice cream cake, on which we'd had DQ print in icing "Best of luck, Vile Abandoner". We STILL call her "Vile Abandoner", even though she's now been out of school for four years. She could have gone to the (substandard) state university one town over, but noooo....she held out for the GOOD school, hours away. #uppity.
ReplyDeleteThis Mother's Day will be my first without my mom, who passed away on April 4. I guess she was a Vile Abandoner, too, and we all are in the end. :( I'll be spending the day with my four siblings, divvying up our mom's "stuff" - teeny tiny souvenir spoons, lighthouse statues, Elvis plates, etc. Ya know, real classy stuff... Maybe it will knock some sense into me and inspire me to get rid of all my crappy race medals, so my kids aren't stuck doing it someday. But it'll serve those Vile Abandoners right!
I won't lie when I tell you that even though I'm a little sad my oldest isn't going to college, I'm kind of glad he isn't because he's here and I get to keep him around a little while longer. Is that wrong? I hope the extra time at home will let him mature and he'll be able to handle whatever life throws at him. And maybe start making some better choices...
ReplyDeleteI am also spending Sunday morning on the trails, Mosquito Brook to Fish Hatchery and back, 8 miles of single track.
ReplyDeleteMy babies all have babies, 4 granddaughters, oh my what sweetness and pink. I love every minute of it. My 2 glasses of wine are long gone.
Half way thru my beer, no wine for me tonight. Sunday I am going trail running too, 11-12 miles, hopefully I won't fall down!! My only kid is almost finished with 6th grade. They had a dance recital tonight and I teared up probably 5-6 times. I am not looking forward to him going away for college but I will be so proud of him.
ReplyDeleteSaw Mother's Day, the movie, tonight. Good flick.
ReplyDeleteI tried the Whole 30 and lasted approx. 3 days...By the end of day 3 I felt so hideous that I could barely drag my sorry self through a 2 mile run, and promptly rerouted to Panera. Life is not worth living without carbs (and alcohol).
ReplyDeleteI gnaw and pick at the sides of my thumbs. My mom does the same thing, so I hope to not pass this legacy down to my own girls. I've gone so far as to wear gloves and bandaids but the habit persists.
My eyes welled up a bit after your third glass of wine...My kids are only 10 and 12 but I feel my oldest starting to pull away a bit as she gravitates towards her teen years. I've already started my hard-sell of UW-Madison, which is only 60 min. away...
I have done Whole30, only because my husband has food allergies and even though he has been gluten and dairy free for years was starting to have issues again, and we needed to figure out if there was anything else to avoid. Whole30 pretty much eliminated everything else and I ended up doing it with him because I'm the cook and it's intense, too intense to try and do it just for him and not me as well. It sucked the first 20 days, really sucked, and I was training for a race, which is says not to do, and those runs were horrid. But, by day 25 we felt amazing, so amazing we didn't want to stop Whole30. But, we did because the reintroduction is what we needed to figure out his food issues...turns out there were a few things that mildly bothered him during reintro, and a lot of things that bothered me (the girl with the iron gut)! So, now we eat Whole30 as a way of life (minus travel/dinner invitations/visiting family...we don't impose our food habit on others, just the dairy/gluten free thing because that makes him sicker than a dog), but we drink like wino's! ;-) I'm not a fan of plans like this, but will say 30 days in the scheme of life is not a big deal, it's healthy, you learn a lot about yourself and your food habits, and while it is rough to start you do feel pretty great by the end of it (and I went in to it feeling healthy and good every day, but felt even more amazing after).
ReplyDeleteI'm huge at picking at my cuticles and I found the best stuff! It's by Burt's Bees and it's called Lemon Butter Cuticle Cream. I put it on before bed every night, and I swear, it heals them overnight. Totally worth a shot!
ReplyDeleteGoing to get this today! Thanks.
DeleteAh...college. My daughter just graduated with her BSN. Where did that 4 years go!? I remember vividly the hug before leaving her freshman year. Knowing in my core that the minute I let go life would be different forever. (Now we're planning a wedding! OMG!) BUT, as you said this is what we raise them for! To leave! And, I'm teary without wine. No Whole30 for me. My family would revolt and have me committed.
ReplyDeleteRemember when you left your child on their very first day of school and got teary? Multiply that a 1,000 times over when you leave them at college (aren't I the cheery one?). I cried the entire 2 1/2 hours home, and all I could think about was him as a little boy. On a lighter note, I am also a cuticle picker. Had no idea there was so many of out there.
ReplyDeleteWow, there are a lot of cuticle destroyers here. After reading your post and seeing the picture, I mentioned my own bad habit in my blog - nice to be be the only one. Probably worse for you ladies, as you are expected to be all well put together and such. As a guy, even though I have an office job, mangled hands are just shrugged off...probably happened doing manly things like wrestling grizzlies, fixing engines and cleaning my days kills... or I just chewed at the at my desk or while driving. Hope all you ladies have a great mother's day...don't be too sad about letting your little birdies fly... it shows you succeeded in raising them to that point.
ReplyDeleteYou will cry when you see his favorite cereal in the grocery store, you will cry when you drive by the high school and remember seeing him on the corner some days on your way to work, you'll cry when you walk into his room and lay down on his bed because his room is clean and so quiet it's disconcerting, along with other little reminders that will bring you to tears in those first couple weeks. You know it's stupid to cry, he's just away at college but he was a part of your life for 18 years and you'll miss him.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully stated. Sniff.
DeleteAs mom to a 19 month-old, and pregnant with our second, I would tell you I miss wine & beer terribly. Already planning what delicious homebrew my husband will be instructed to bring to the hospital post-delivery of bebe #2. I would also tell you, it's posts like these that remind me to slow down & enjoy the younger years. There are days I barely get through with clenched teeth, as she throws yet ANOTHER tantrum, & whisper to myself "I can't wait until your 19 YEARS old." And then she sits her cute butt in my lap & insists I read her books - it won't be long before she stops asking to sit in my lap, where I can breath in her baby hair & give her a snuggle. *Sigh* Motherhood.
ReplyDeleteI am spending my Mother's Day in Las Vegas because I came here to my hometown to run the Revel half! It;s been fun, but my 24 year old son is in LA, Ca. I hate it, but that is what we raise our kids to do. He is working, doing what he loves, so I just suck it up and keep my mom sadness to myself and drink wine! The Whole 30 sounds awful. Some friends did it and that convinced me not to!
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, as they get older they COME BACK! Now with wives, husbands and grandkids! Ha Nothing better than a table filled with grown up kids and their offspring! :)
ReplyDeleteMy youngest left for Marine boot camp on Mother's Day. My husband and I cried like children. So did he. He's my sensitive one and we were ridiculous about it. He's 19 and the best kid in the world. So grown up. He graduated with his associates degree on Saturday and left the next day. Ugh. I'm still sad. I'll be sad for weeks I'm sure. College is one thing, you get to talk to them. Email, text, communicate, do their laundry when they miss you and come home. Boot camp involves weeks and weeks of radio silence. It's horrible. You know they're hurting and sad and missing you and you can't do anything about it. Now I'm crying again. If one more person tells me he'll be better for it I may just punch him in the face. My husband is military. My older son is military. It does not make it better.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, he says my scrambled eggs are the best. I made them for him the morning he left.
Side note: I did the Whole30. But I'm Celiac so it was easy for me. I have a friend who did it and called me to thank me because she said it changed her life and she feels amazing and she never wants to eat any other way again.
I have done the whole30-just finished it last week! It's a challenging program, but I did learn to break bad food habits. And I did feel a million times better.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I have 3 littles-but time still flies!
1. I don't understand Whole30 and I whole-heartedly disagree whenever someone tells me it's healthy -- it tells you to watch your fruit intake because of sugar. If something is going to tell me that eating fruit is unhealthy, no, just no. But, I do recognize that it's good if you have bad habits you're trying to break -- to each their own.
ReplyDelete2. Oh my gosh, I thought I was the only one who did that to their cuticles! I do it when I'm bored and when I'm nervous (marathon is this Saturday so my thumb is wrecked).
3. I don't have children, but I'm abnormally close with my mom. Reading about sending your son to college and setting up his dorm room reminded me of when I left for college (it made me get teary eyed). It was tough all around, but as Pooh would say "how lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard." I wasn't able to spend Mother's Day with my mom this year, but I sent her a picture that has a heart in the center -- one half is a map of the state I live in and the other half is a map of the state in which she lives. Then, it has the quote "Close together or far apart, you’re forever in my heart”
Hi everyone! Life without my boyfriend was a real mess for me,What on Earth will i do to thank Dr.Unity for his help? he is wonderful and has a good heart. He is like a God on Earth and i really do not know what to do to thank him for helping me regain my boyfriend love back with his spell. After being in relationship with my boyfriend (Andrew) for 3 years, he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before two days, that my ex will return to me before two days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the other ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, like of issue of not being able to get pregnant for many years, lotto, his email is: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com or call him on +2348072370762 you can email him if you need his help in your relationship or any other problem like wining lottery your problem can never remain the same again, it will turn a thing of the past in your life..I am Katy Brown by name i live here in Los Angeles, California United States.
ReplyDeleteGREETINGS everyone out there.. My name is Sarah Gomez FROM CANADA i will never forget the help Prophet Ayelala rendered to me in my marital life. i have been married for 5 years now and my husband and i love each other very dearly . after 3 years of our marriage my husband suddenly change he was having an affair with a lady outside,i notice it then i was praying for divine intervention the thing became more serious i told my pastor about it we prayed but nothing happen. my husband just came home one day he pick up his things and left me and the kids to his mistress outside at this time i was confuse not knowing what to do again because i have lost my husband and my marriage too. i was searching for help in the internet, i saw many people sharing testimony on how Prophet Ayelala help them out with their marital problems so i contacted the email of Prophet Ayelala i told him my problem and i was told to be calm that i have come to the right place were i can get back my husband within the next 24hours. He told me what went wrong with my husband and how it happen.that they will restored my marriage. to my greatest surprise my husband came to my office begging me on his knees that i should find a place in my heart to forgive him,that he will never cheat on me again. i quickly ask him up that i have forgiven him.friends your case is not too hard why don't you give Prophet Ayelala a try they work surprises because i know they will help you to fix your relationship with your ex partner. i thank god for using Prophet Ayelala to save my marriage. Contact him via Email: ( Ayelala7demons@gmail.com ) Or Reach him on whatsapp: +2347031894318
DeleteHow I Was Rescued By A God Fearing And Trusted Lender {Lexieloancompany@yahoo.com}..
ReplyDeleteHello, I am Andrew Thompson currently living in CT USA, God has bless me with two kids and a lovely Wife, I promise to share this Testimony because of God favor in my life, 2days ago I was in desperate need of money so I thought of having a loan then I ran into wrong hands who claimed to be loan lender not knowing he was a scam. he collected 1,500.00 USD from me and refuse to email me since then I was confuse, but God came to my rescue, one faithful day I went to church after the service I share idea with a friend and she introduce me to LEXIE LOAN COMPANY, she said she was given 98,000.00 USD by MR LEXIE , THE MANAGING DIRECTOR OF LEXIE LOAN COMPANY. So I collected his email Address , he told me the rules and regulation and I followed, then after processing of the Documents, he gave me my loan of 55,000.00 USD... well if you are interested in a loan you can as well contact him on this Email: Lexieloancompany@yahoo.com or call/sms on: +18168926958 thanks, I am sure he will also help you.
Hi everyone,I'm so excited Dr.Unity Love Spell have really helped me find myself again by geting my husband back after a break up and i can't thank you enough for giving me my life back..When my husband broke up with me i was so frustrated and i could not know what next to do again, i love my husband so much but he was cheating on me with another woman and this makes him broke up with me so that he can be able to get marry to the other lady and this lady i think use witchcraft on my husband to make him hate me and my kids and this was so critical and uncalled-for,I cry all day and night for God to send me a helper to get back my man until i went to NY to see a friend and who was having the same problem with me but she latter got her Husband back and i asked her how she was able to get her husband back and she told me that their was a powerful spell caster in Africa name Dr.Unity that he help with love spell in getting back lost lover back, and i decided to contacted the same Dr.Unity and he told me what is needed to be done for me to have my man back and i did it although i doubted it but i did it and the Dr told me that i will get the result after 48hours, and he told me that my husband was going to call me by 9pm in my time and i still doubted his word, to my surprise my husband really called me and told me that he miss me so much, OMG! i was so happy, and today i am happy with my man again and we are joyfully living together as one good family and i thank the powerful spell caster Dr.Unity of Unityspelltemple@gmail.com , he is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the internet that good spell casters still exist and Dr.Unity is one of the good spell caster who i will always pray to live long to help his children in the time of trouble, if you are there and your lover is turning you down, or you have your husband moved to another woman, do not cry anymore contact the powerful spell caster Dr.Unity on his email: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com or call him on +2348072370762. if you have any problem contact Dr.Unity i guarantee you that he will help you and i am Katy by name and i reside here in Florida, United States,Thank you so much Dr Unity.
ReplyDeleteTrust me i was lucky to have gotten these details greatogudugu@gmail.com online which belong to a powerful spell caster called Dr.Ogudugu, My relationship was not in good mood because in recent times i kept seeing myself having problems with my lover. Things eventually got out of hand when my lover opened up to me that she has decided to move on because she has some one else in her life and that was how my relationship was broken until i saw this powerful spell caster contact information on the internet and he was able to restore my relationship by getting my lover back to me.
ReplyDeleteHELP ME THANK DR.OGUDUGU, HIS TESTED AND TRUSTED SPELL CASTER.
GREETINGS everyone out there.. My name is Sarah Gomez FROM CANADA i will never forget the help Prophet Ayelala rendered to me in my marital life. i have been married for 5 years now and my husband and i love each other very dearly . after 3 years of our marriage my husband suddenly change he was having an affair with a lady outside,i notice it then i was praying for divine intervention the thing became more serious i told my pastor about it we prayed but nothing happen. my husband just came home one day he pick up his things and left me and the kids to his mistress outside at this time i was confuse not knowing what to do again because i have lost my husband and my marriage too. i was searching for help in the internet, i saw many people sharing testimony on how Prophet Ayelala help them out with their marital problems so i contacted the email of Prophet Ayelala i told him my problem and i was told to be calm that i have come to the right place were i can get back my husband within the next 24hours. He told me what went wrong with my husband and how it happen.that they will restored my marriage. to my greatest surprise my husband came to my office begging me on his knees that i should find a place in my heart to forgive him,that he will never cheat on me again. i quickly ask him up that i have forgiven him.friends your case is not too hard why don't you give Prophet Ayelala a try they work surprises because i know they will help you to fix your relationship with your ex partner. i thank god for using Prophet Ayelala to save my marriage. Contact him via Email: ( Ayelala7demons@gmail.com ) Or Reach him on whatsapp: +2347031894318
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