Thursday, August 25, 2016

The 8 Signs You've Got Post Traumatic Race Disorder

What a whirlwind it has been.

Now I sit here with my BIG race done, my son off to college, my daughter back in school as a sophomore and ....crickets.

Well, there are always these two. Wait for it...

Can you say "transition time"? Yep, that's what I'm feeling. I've been told to embrace transition and change. Hell, I've even read books about it. But as humans we like to resist it. Change is scary, hard, emotional...and, yeah, change keeps us moving forward I suppose.

These are the times when I get the most introspective and questioning - wondering, with Sam gone - who will mow the lawn? Who will eat all the salsa and leave it caked on plates in the basement? Who will forget to leave his laundry in the washer until it gets all mildewed? Who will tell me, when I fart at the table, that girls shouldn't fart and it's gross (I could not have raised a child who would say such a thing. What's wrong with him? Farts are a gift from God and provide laughter, relief and bonding).

I miss you, Sammy.

Sam's leaving also brings up identity issues. Who I am beyond a mom? (a mediocre blogger! That's what I am!) What happens when your kids don't "need" you so much anymore? Are you still as worthwhile? I know that if you are once a parent, you are forever a parent, but the role changes.

Role reversal. Hey Sammy remember when you used to sit on my lap? Hey, Dr. Pepper isn't
all that good for you. Need me to iron that shirt? Are you going to fall out of that bed?
You need a rail.Seriously, I'm building you a rail.Where's Home Depot?

And, tell me this. Am I the only one that experiences a bit of grief and loss after a big race has come and gone? I like to call it PTRD (Post Traumatic Race Disorder) and it's usually characterized by things like:

1. Immediately searching on the Internet for the next race you can sign up for.

2. Repeatedly gazing through pictures from race day in an effort to re-live the experience.

3. Listening to and re-listening to any songs that remind you of the race.

4. Taking any chance to bring up your race conversation. "Hey person in the checkout line with me! What's up? Any weekend plans? Me? Well I'm kind of tired as I had this big race last weekend..."

5. Wearing your race shirt everywhere hoping to strike up said conversation.

6. Eating all the food because clearly you are still in calories deficit from the race.

7. Continuing to post things about the race on social media even though every is probably over it.

8. When official race pictures become available, post them too. Re-live experience again.
Oh, and this one cause I like it.

How's back to school going in your house? Do you have kids in college yet?

Ever experience any of the signs of Post Traumatic Race Disorder, or what do you do when a big race is over?



  1. I head up to MD with the oldest spawn on Saturday. She will be entering her Sophomore year. She has not even thought about packing yet. And all those projects that are due?….she works well under pressure.
    Her 19th birthday is tomorrow and we will be celebrating! By packing!! WoooHooo!
    Exactly a year ago we traveled up and stayed the night in a hotel room. We cried A LOT. I moved her in, left her with a dozen cupcakes for her birthday and sat in the hotel room and sobbed.
    For the record, wine does help. Congrats to your son! I'm sure he will have an amazing year!!

    1. Sounds familiar. We dropped him then went back to the hotel where i cried myself to sleep. His birthday is in October and it will be so weird to not celebrate with him. Good luck this weekend!!

  2. You are NOT a mediocre blogger! No feedback on how you are as a mom. Sorry.
    No back to school stuff, more like retirement planning. But that's because you're so young in comparison.
    What do I do in a big race? Go home, collapse in a heap, drink wine, and generally pig out.
    Have fun with it!

  3. I have a heart of stone. My youngest just graduated Marine boot camp and I didn't cry. But damn he he amazing. I love him and yep. I miss him. He's just such a gift to the world. I thank God every day he gave me these three beautiful gifts and I didn't screw them up. Mostly.

  4. My oldest moves out tomorrow. She's mad because I'm not sad. Why would I be sad that you're doing what you're supposed to do?!?!? I'd be sad if you were still living in my basement.

    She's not going far though, so that'll help. :)

  5. PHHHTTT. You are not MEDIOCRE.

    My oldest left the nest quite awhile ago and my son (who is in college) decided to stay at school and work over the summer. It has been hard trying to figure it out. I keep feeling that I have forgotten something (like the sense you get if you leave your purse behind...)

    When your daughter leaves for college, that is when it gets really weird.

    And I am preparing for the Hood to Coast that starts tomorrow (I think you've done this one, right?) Since it is my fourth time, I am now just starting to pack and figure out my own personal logistics...

  6. I've been a single mom in every way since my sons were 7 and 9. I just dropped my youngest off to college. I'm proud and happy (for him). Me? Bittersweet for sure. Admittedly, though, is that my new additional free time is rather cool. I'm convinced I'm gonna miraculously become a faster runner.

  7. I'm still having post traumatic race disorder from Big Sur back in April! I just don't know what to do with myself....

  8. That last picture looks like you have toilet paper waving off the back of your shoe. LOL!! I tend to get very depressed after running a goal race. Glad to see I am not the only one. My son heads off to college next year. I guess I am a bad mother because I am sort of looking forward to it.

  9. When my daughter (Emma!) was born, the cut off for sending a child to school was Sept 30. If your child was born after Sept 30, they had to wait until the next year. She was born Oct 13 (they've changed the rules and the cut off is now December 31) so she was almost 6 by the time she started school. At the time, I remember being pissed because we'd end up having to pay for an extra year of daycare.
    Fast forward to today and she's just about to start Grade 12 and will be almost 19 by the time she goes off into the big wide world.
    I'm rather grateful that I have her at home for an extra year.

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  11. feel your emotions to the core! I just took my only child from Kansas City, Missouri to CSU FOR HER FIRST YEAR in college. I've been a single parent for 17 years. NOW WHAT? Me and the cat are at a loss.
    My next races are 2-3-4 months away and no one to complain to about how getting up at 4am to beat the humidity and Heat are wearing on me. What if I leave a light on??? Who to blame for that now?

    1. AHHH........that's tough. She can always come to my house for dinner and laundry. CSU is such an awesome place.

  12. I get PTRD a lot, especially after a challenging marathon or one that I ran really well. I usually have another race already planned, but that doesn't help with the PTRD.

    I didn't cry when my boys went off to college (they were less than 2 hours from home) but I was a little depressed for several days. I was so used to going to ball games and activities, and that all stopped after the 3rd one graduated. Fortunately I had my running goals to focus on, and I'm enjoying my activities now!

  13. We're dealing with PTRD around here. My husband is exhibiting many of the signs after Sunday's Dick Evans Memorial Road Race ( the original Ironman cycling route. Hopefully his ride tomorrow with fellow racers will get some of that out of his system! I think that's the only cure.

  14. Wow I'm so glad you put a name to it: PTRD! I have it every time (or maybe it doesn't go away, we just have to have a race to make those symptoms re-appear. I love the 8 characteristics - #1 and 4 hit home and made me laugh out loud. When the kids left home - ugh realizing I needed them more than they needed me. Then I retired. If I'm not a detective any more .... then what AM I? Maybe that's why I began blogging. To BE something? And now I can't run because of the dreaded PF. How many times does a person want to read a blog about that??? Keep it up, I look forward to each blog.

  15. I remember when the kids moved out and it seemed that I was totally sad forever. Then we realized, we don't have to drive anyone anywhere. We can eat under $25.00 WITH DRINKS! And the house looks the same after work as it did when I left it in the morning. But as a parent of 2 adult children I'm letting you know...They come back! And with grandkids (my kids are a lot older than yours don't worry). Now the cycle starts all over again. With toys, a messy house and me planning on taking the grand boys to soccer practice in another couple years. Hang it there, this sadness will pass and you'll love it. And BTW, I think your blog is AWESOME!

  16. You nailed it! Just finished my first trail Ragnar (favorite relay so far!!), while my husband moved my daughter into her dorm room for her sophomore year (serious mom guilt that I missed this event), AND I'm a teacher so I mourn the end of summer like I'm losing my best friend. Always hard to get back to normal after a fantastically crazy fun race
    weekend, and especially when it's a transition time. Luckily my son is still at home and leaving his pb&j encrusted plates (he doesn't like salsa) right by his bedside table, where they belong!
    Btw, not sure how I'll get all my race unpacking done today cuz I'm staving off PTRD by staying close to my laptop in case any of my teammates recount any hilarious race moments on Facebook! ;-)

  17. We started a week ago, and I sent my pre-k kid off to join her sister at the same school for the first time in three years. I'm ridiculously excited. My pre-k kid was...slightly less so. But she didn't cry at drop off, and I can't remember the last time that happened. (Because it's never happened. Never.)

    And then I looked at all the second graders lined up, and thought no way. No way can my girl be one of them. But she ran over to them, just a little bit shorter thanks to my genes, and suddenly she looked so much older. I spent the evening after they were in bed looking at baby pictures, drinking wine, and eating cookies.

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