Join the Club

1st official taper day. I ran. Fast. But, only 5.5 miles.

I’m starting that stupid thing I do where I look at everyone else’s training and decide I haven’t done enough. This is all part of my taper madness. You’ve got Marathon Maiden spitting out 80 mile weeks. Aron is over there doing almost 60 mile weeks at only week 7.

I topped out at 50 miles per week. One time. It’s a comparison fest over here and it’s not pretty. Why do we insist on comparing ourselves to others? it just makes us feel like crap. And it’s not just about running. It’s about jobs and kids and houses and cars and Halloween costumes for god’s sake. This is probably why I give out the full size candy bars. To be the best for once. Did you know that men who give out full size candy bars are compensating for something? I just made that up, but I think it’s true.

Here’s what I tell myself about comparing {source}.

1. Just realize that you can’t win.

Just consciously realizing this can be helpful. No matter what you do you can pretty much always find someone else in the world that has more than you or are better than you at something. Yes, you may feel good for a while when you get a nicer car than your neighbor. But a week or two later you’ll see someone from the next block with an even finer car than yours.

2. Compare yourself to yourself.

Instead of comparing yourself to other people create the habit of comparing yourself to yourself. See how much you have grown, what you have achieved and what progress you have made towards your goals.

This habit has the benefit of creating gratitude, appreciation and kindness towards yourself as you observe how far you have come, the obstacles you have overcome and the good stuff you have done. You feel good about yourself without having to think less of other people.

Good advice, huh? I love #2 especially.

To cope with tapering and comparing, I’m making the best brownies in the world for the second time this week. Featured in the October ‘10 issue of Cooking Light, these babies are to die for.  The tip is adding extra chopped dark chocolate (I added at least 2 oz extra, chopped not melted). Cooking Light did not advocate for that, but I DID.  Also, don’t overcook! I plan on eating many of these and probably hiding them from my kids. Because I made them and they should only be mine and my period started today mid-run and the dog will not stop licking himself. Plus, I have five pounds to make up.

Click on the picture for the recipe and join the “tapering with brownies” club. All the cool kids are doing it.

This weekend was a blur of running, taxiing kids around, and trying to pretend I know how to make in iPod Touch costume (my daughter’s choice). Good news is she only fell over in it once. I had already cut out the arms out of the box, but for some reason she didn’t use her hands to catch herself and just fell flat. Then she couldn't get out of the box. I wanted so badly to make sure she was okay before laughing hysterically, but it was not easy. I wish you could have heard her hit the ground. And yes, she was fine. In other good news, if  I’m going to be a taxi driver at least I’m not this guy (and it’s for real):

Don’t kill the messenger. I just find these things and post them.  I don’t make them up.

After my 18 miler on Saturday, we headed to Denver at 5:00 a.m. on Sunday for the Race for the Cure. You may remember that I was running with my friend Kathy who was doing her first race EVER! I wanted to get her a little gift for the race, so I had a charm engraved for her with the race date and name on it. Problem was, it came in the mail and was so small, I was almost embarrassed to give it to her. Actual size:

I’m not kidding. So little it’s almost a joke. If you order through Inspired Endurance, check charm dimensions first (1/4” x 3/8”).

My family spent a lot of time harassing me about the gift. “Oh, maybe she can give it to her Barbie or Polly Pocket to wear,” etc. They are so funny. Well, Kathy loved it and even cried a bit when I gave it to her. Of course she probably cried because it was so small, but whatever.

At the start (freaking cold). I always have to stand with my friend, Porta Potty. I am also embracing my homeless look with the blanket from our couch at home:

The socks:  

Getting ready to head out (like my new arm warmers?):

Finish line (I’m not sure what that guy is doing beside Kathy, but if he was throwing up, I’m glad I was looking straight ahead):

Kathy did really well. She ran the 5K in 32 minutes!! My first trainee didn’t die!

One last tidbit since this post is already a vomitorium of weird stuff like brownies and Kok and tatas socks.

Have you ever heard of earndit.com? It’s actually pretty cool. You register your Garmin (or any type of device). Every time you run, bike or whatever you get points. Once you reach a certain number of points, you get free stuff.  You don’t have to go to the website every time you run. Anytime you load  a workout through Garmin Connect (which I do anyway) and give it a name, it gives you credit on the site. I mean, free stuff for something I do anyway. I’ll take it. Rewards include gift cards, Element Bars and lots of other good stuff. I’m almost up to 300 points and it’s only been a week.

And remember:

“Winners compare their achievements with their goals, while losers compare their achievements with those of other people” -Nido Qubein

I’m a winner, dammit.

Pain in the Butt

I love it when people are being interviewed about marathons and triathlons and such, but they are not triathletes or runners themselves. Sometimes you get the best bloopers.

For example, some chick from O, the Oprah Magazine was talking to Natalie Morales on the Today Show this past week. Anyone see this? I forget what the subject was, but they started talking about the Ironman. The woman being interviewed said (very knowingly), “The Ironman is a very long race and you don’t have to make that your first triathlon (duh). It is a 24 mile swim…a 112 mile bike…and a marathon.”

Whoa. Back up there sister. Did she just say 24 mile swim? That’s like from Los Angeles to Honolulu. Well, not really, but you get the point.

Fortunately, Natalie quickly put her in her place, advising her it was a 2.4 mile swim…Guess that teleprompter forgot the decimal point.

Speaking of 24 mile swims, Emma and I ran the Run for the Congo Women this morning in Denver. It was a perfect running morning with the temp at about 60 degrees, the skies blue. The race organizers did an amazing job of educating the runners about the cause at hand, and for nine year old Emma, this was very eye opening. They had a pastor on site who said a small prayer at the beginning of the race – something that would appeal to everyone about loving and enjoying life. Emma told me, “I said my own prayer to the women who are hurting. I said that I loved them.” She makes me cry sometimes.

The run started well enough. Emma had high hopes for her time as she had just run a 10K last month in 1:07. She thought maybe she could pull out a 30 minute 5K. We busted that wide open when at mile .5 she had a stitch in her side, she was tired, she needed water, her foot hurt, her leg ached, she felt like a loser. Have you ever run with a nine year old? There are good days and bad days. Just like all of us runners have. It was my job to pump her up and remind her that we were just out to be together on a  beautiful day and to support a great cause.  And, I meant it.

We ran, we walked, we drank water. Mile 2 had Emma starting to whine and while I had been the patient mom up until now I wasn’t going to take no whining. I shut her up quick with some stern mom talk. She finished strong in 38 minutes. No PR today for her. But for me? Finally I broke a 40 min 5K! :)

Surprisingly, she won first in her 12 and under age group (comprised of five girls). That shut her up for good.

Me with two Congolese women:

And Emma:

We’ve decided to sponsor a woman in the Congo through Women for Women International. $27 per month goes towards helping a woman obtain career counseling, provide her family with basic necessities, pay for her children to attend school, etc. You exchange letters with this woman and learn about her journey. Should be a good family experience.

On a closing note, my ass hurts. I think it’s the old piriformis. Pain in the butt. I’m icing, rolling, stretching. I’ll take tomorrow off in preparation for a tempo run on Tuesday to kick off 16 weeks of marathon training.

Kiss my piriformis! Just doesn’t have the same ring as kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. (What movie is that from??). I’ll swim 24 miles if you tell me.

Don’t forget my giveaway HERE!

Longmont Triathlon Race Report

It could’ve been worse. And, it could’ve been better.

I will give you my results first, but only if you promise to read this entire race report. It involves dumps and head wounds and all kinds of mishaps.

525 yd. swim – 12 mile bike – 5K

1:20:54

8th out of 30 in 40-44 age division

32nd woman out of 147

I seriously could not have pushed more in any of the events. However…

• My transition times sucked (this is where my tri-virginity really reared its ugly head)
• My chain fell off about 1/4 mile into the bike – total time sucker
• I went the wrong way when I started the bike, thus adding to transition time (tri-virginity at play again)

I always say this and I’ll say it again. Anyone who does a race has their finish time and then they have the time they should have gotten if ________________ wouldn’t have happened (i.e., If only I hadn’t crapped myself I would have been 4 minutes faster!)

So, in my case, if only I hadn’t taken so much eff’ing time at the transitions (What the hell was I doing? A crossword puzzle?) or if my chain had stayed in place I could've gotten under 1:20.

What’s that they say about hindsight?

Here's how it played out:

6:36 a.m. 1 cup of coffee, one bagel, one huge dump (What a relief! No floaties in the pool)

I got to the start about 3o minutes early to set up my transition area.  I carefully placed a bean bag chair and an end table with after dinner mints beside my bike. I like things to be comfortable and inviting. I then hit my head really hard on the bike rack and it hurt like a mother. I hoped no one saw.

Emma took this beforehand (I think I’m 12):

Okay, my shorts aren’t up that high; it’s just the angle

I got in my heat for the swim and made some friends. They wanted me to go first and I was glad because I thought this would help me push harder and I wouldn’t have to worry about passing anyone. I just had to worry about being passed. As I was swimming I was thinking that I hadn’t eaten in two hours and I was hungry. I didn’t bring any food. For some reason I thought I wouldn’t need it for a 90 minute event and my Accelerade would be enough (tri virgin). I hoped I had something to eat in my bike testicle (that’s what I call the sack under the seat).

Emma found this hairy back at the pool. I’m really glad that was in the water with me. I’m still pulling hairs out of my teeth:

 

Me swimming (You know you’re jealous of my form):

Swim time: 11:07

I got out to my bike and got on my cycling shoes. I put on my running hat instead of my helmet, realized it and changed. Score! I found some GU Chomps in my testicle. I did some Sudoku and I then walked my bike the wrong way until someone told me to turn around.

Swim to bike transition time: 2:33 (I warned you it was bad)

I headed out and up over the first hill. My chain came off. I stopped and fixed it, cussing up a storm. Mother %$#! chain. C$#@ sucking chain! I cruised for three-4 mile loops on the bike. I really pushed it. I only got passed by one girl. She had one of those aerodynamic bars on her bike. If I had one she would have eaten my dust. Not that I’m competitive or anything.

Bike time: 40:26; 17.8 mph average

I came into the transition area (where I apparently like to spend a lot of time), sat down, changed my shoes, put on my running hat, grabbed my Garmin and iPod

Bike to run transition time: 2:10

As I headed up a hill at the start of the run I felt like I was running in place. I was thinking, “I can’t do this shit. Who does this shit?” I looked down and Garmin said I had a 7:20 pace, so I knew my mind was playing tricks and adjusting to coming off of the bike. The run had several hills. I tried to crank it out to make up for lost time (hello, bike chain). I realized my Garmin was showing pace, but not time or distance. Dick! I passed lots of people and stole all of their energy. I got passed only once by some big burly dude. I screamed at him not to take my energy or I’d rack him.  Before I knew it, I was at the finish and saw little Emma and Ken waiting (Ken had finished beforehand in a very strong showing!). Emma ran to the finish with me. Then I collapsed.

Run time: 24:40;  7:58 pace

Right after, when I was lying down, a reporter came up and asked my name. She had taken pictures of Emma running to the finish with me. Hoping it’s in tomorrow’s paper! I’ve always wanted to be famous.

Lots of lessons learned today, but I’m proud of how I did out there. It was hot, and I know I hadn’t trained properly for the bike portion. I don’t know if triathlons are my favorite race event, but this one was a blast despite all the mishaps. As we were walking back to the car, I had that priceless moment one can have with their children when they’re not screaming at them.

Emma: Mom, I’m really proud of you. I never ever thought I would have parents who did these kinds of things!

Now that’s some nine year old wisdom. She must have been wondering in the womb what kind of parents she would have.

On tap for tonight: beer and more beer. It’s a celebration! For finishing the triathlon and for passing my running coach's exam today!!

Don’t Be Afraid to Have Babies

Do you find that running with a Garmin is a mental game?  If I look at it too much, I drive myself crazy: “You should be going faster, pick it up.” Usually on long runs I have rules for how often I get to take a peek. Typically it’s after every mile or after every song, depending on my mood. Some days, I try to just ignore it.

Today our family was running a local 5K we do every year (Phishy Paul, where were you?). We woke up to wind. My running nemesis.  Also, since the run is mostly on a trail, I knew the 3” of rain/snow we got yesterday was going to make it a muddy mess.

Like all of you, I always hope for a PR, which would mean I would beat 23:44. I had myself convinced today was not PR day due to the conditions. My plan was to not look at my Garmin the whole way and to just run as hard as my body would allow and see what happened.

Our family of four decided we were all going to run solo. Every man for himself. Emma, my youngest (just turned 9) was fine with that because she knows this route well. At 12, Sam’s an old hat at races, so I don’t worry about him. We told Emma once we got through the finish line, we’d be back to find her on the course.

Things started out slow as they always do. I ran with my iPod because I am neurotic and had set up a playlist to cover my 5K time. Running balls out goes faster for me with music.

There was the major clusterfuck of people at the start including a woman running with her dog and people stopping to tie their shoes in the middle of the trail. I wonder if the dog needed to buy a bib or why he wasn’t wearing his race t-shirt. Why is it okay for him to crap on the course and not me?

Basically for the entire race I kept me head down and just pushed (that’s what she said). Between miles 1-2 Ken was with me using me as his wind blocker. He owes me something for that. Some kind of a favor. I kept my promise not to look at the Garmin. I only broke the promise once around mile 2.5 when I wanted to see my pace. 7:50. No way was I going to PR.

In the end I crossed the finish in 23:46. Yep, that’s right. TWO seconds off of my PR. I am hitting myself. I should have looked. I could have easily pushed slightly harder and come in at 23:40 or so if I had looked. Why didn’t I look?? Next time, I’ll look.

Final stats for the family?

Beth: 23:46 (7:39 pace) – 33/338 overall; 5/191 women; 1st in age group

Emma: 33:22 (10:45 pace) – 167/338 overall; 62/191 girls/women; 1st in age group

Sam:  27:35 (8:53 pace) – 86/338 overall; 66/147 men/boys; 10th in age group

Ken: 24:18 (7:50 pace) – 38/338;  31/147 men overall; 7th in age group

I know, I know. I was surprised as you are to see me in 1st for my AG. 23:46 is not typically a first place time. I am going to blame it on the wind and muddy conditions on the trail. I think everyone was slower today.

Odd/disturbing things we saw:

• Woman running with a fuel belt. For a 5K. Really?
• Puke in the finish chute. Don’t these people who over-exert know I have a vomit phobia?
• Dog taking a crap

You can’t know how proud I am of my kids. They are studs. When I went to find Emma after I had finished, she was running her little heart out. She could have stopped, but didn’t want to.  You should have seen the look on her face when I told her she got 1st in her AG. Priceless.

I know Jillian Michaels doesn’t want to have a baby because it might ruin her manly figure, but Ms. Michaels is missin’ out. Okay, okay. And adoption is good too. Wonderful, in fact. Don’t get me wrong, if babies/kids aren’t for you, I respect and admire your decision (like you care what I think) because too many people have kids out of a sense of obligation. But, I wouldn’t recommend not doing it because of body image issues. If you really want them, I believe you can overcome those issues. In fact, I weigh less now than I did before having 2 kids (4 pregnancies).  And – I never ran a race until after I had kids. But, that’s another post for another day.

Anyone else racing this weekend?