I Cannot Stop Them

They are growing and I cannot stop them. There is nothing I can do. I wish I was talking about my breasts, but alas, it is not the case. I am referring to these folks:

Sam and Emma. Emma and Sam. My offspring. I remember going to Vegas once and having lunch at New York, New York. There was a Sam & Emma sandwich at the NY Deli. I named my kids long before that sandwich, so I considered suing for some kind of name rights, but got distracted by the Wheel of Fortune (WOF) slots and forgot.

I am not kidding. I love the WOF slot machine. And, I don’t even like slot machines. I am strictly a black jack player in Vegas (craps is much to statistical and smart for me, but I am damn good at some BJ – TWSS). Once I was playing BJ at the Hard Rock. I stepped away and put $20 in the dollar WOF slot machine. I won $750. I put it right into my kids college fund or lost it at BJ. I can’t remember which.

I always lay down at the slots machines and pass out. They love it when you do that.

Anyhow, I cannot stop these damn kids from getting older. I cannot paralyze this moment in time and make it stay this way. Nor would I really want to.

I turn around and Sam’s voice is nine octaves lower and he is mentioning taking Driver’s Ed this summer (Yes, you can now do that when you are 14. I will post an alert when Sam is on the road so you can stay home). This year on his birthday, Sam didn’t even want me to get into bed with him to read him the story of the day his was born (I guess that gets creep at 14).

He said, “Mom I kinda know it from the last 14 years. There was a snowstorm. Your water broke. You went to he hospital. You pooped on the table. I came out sunny side up. You and dad had never been so happy, blah, blah, blah.” Sheesh. You’d think he’d at least want to hear it again just to go through the poop part, but no, he’ s over it.

Forever the ham. I have no idea where he got that.

And my dear, sweet Emma. At ten years old she’s caring a lot about whether her pants are skinny or boot cut. She is showing who she is by how she treats the people and animals in her life. This week I saw an email she sent to a friend when the friend’s dog was put to sleep:

“I'm really sorry about Scooter. I know how much you loved her, but things always happen for a reason, so I just wanted you to know,that I'm still there for you no matter what. :)”

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t spend my days fixating on my kids getting older. But, every once in awhile I’ll have an experience that slaps me upside the head and reminds me that I cannot stop them. You know how sometimes you aren’t affected by stuff and other times you turn into a puddle of slobbering mess? It must depend on that time of the month or other things going on in your life. It can be random and really take you by surprise (Hallmark commercial anyone?).

At 6:00 a.m.. this morning I took Emma to meet the school bus at a local high school. She was selected to be a “shagger” (ball girl) at the high school state volleyball tournament in Denver for two days. In the dark and cold I stood with her as she waiting to board the bus.

This morning I wasn’t a slobbering mess, but I got that stinging in my nostrils that signals that my eyes are filling up . I knew Emma wouldn’t be gone long. Not like she was leaving for the whole summer or God forbid, college. Yet, I just felt her moving one more small millimeter away from me. I walked away towards my car and turned around to see her looking back at me. I think she felt it a little bit too. Lately, I’ve been just wanting one day, maybe one hour, back.  A time when I could cuddle her two-year-old chubby, diapered body in my lap and read her Big Red Barn.

It’s life. You can’t stop it. There are no rewinds or fast forwards. Sometimes you want to skip where you are and jump ahead. Sometimes you want to go back to easier or better days. The truth is if you are wishing it away, fearing for the future, or pining for what was, you are missing today. TODAY. TODAY. I always want to know that I loved and appreciated today. Because when tomorrow comes, everything has changed and nothing is ever quite the same.

If you have kids, do you ever feel like you want to go back to when they were littler, or fast forward to when they are more independent? I don’t really want to go back or forward, I love the ages that my kids are now. It’s just sometimes I get all sentimental and nostalgic.

If you don’t have kids, do you see them in your future?

SUAR

The Best Q & A Ever

My firstborn, Sam, is 14 today. You may recall the post I devoted to him when he turned 13, HERE. If you have kids much littler than mine, I know you think they will never be 14. But, they WILL and it is freaking weird and wonderful at the same time.

Everyone thinks their kid is the cat’s meow, but Sam is the LION’S ROAR.

That was then:

And, this is now:

Words don’t often escape me, but it’s tough to do justice to someone like Sam. He is all at once witty, compassionate, crude, good humored and intelligent. Instead of trying to describe him, I asked him to answer a couple of questions, so you can get the full SAM flavor. Hot off the press:

Mom: What does being 14 mean to you?

Sam: For me, being 14 means that I get to watch TV 14 shows. Also, it means that I’m supposed to start getting really pissy (I can’t picture that happening!) That’s pretty much it.

Mom: If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?

Sam: If I could change one thing about my life it would probably be that I could have more motivation to do things such as homework, practice various things, etc…

Mom: What’s it like having me (SUAR) as your mom. Be honest.

Sam: Having SUAR as a mom is cool I guess. It’s not like I read your blog or anything. You are still the same awesome mom you were before you had a blog. Just sometimes you think you’re really cool just because you’re a runner and have a blog and are sponsored by a chocolate milk company.

Mom: What is your earliest memory?

Sam: My earliest memory is coming out of your v***** and seeing you smile. Just kidding. It’s probably going to that church school daycare.

Mom: What do you hope to be doing ten years from today?

Sam: Ten years from today I’ll probably be partying with my friends in my high-rise condo, talking to Aunt Donna and throwing up from eating so much Ben and Jerry’s. Then as a present I’ll probably buy myself a cat.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Better than throwing up from drinking too much.

I told you. Words can’t describe. I know you love him as much as I do. When you are in the stirrups and pushing that huge head out, you have no idea the journey that is in store for you. It has been a complete and total honor to be Sam’s mom.

Happy birthday my boy. You are priceless and amazing. I love you as a son, but I really, really like you as a person.

I’ll love you forever, I’ll like for always, as long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be.

Love,

MOM

Turkey Butt

There are many advantages to having kids.

• Tax cuts
• Little people you can order around to do things you don’t want to do.
• Plates of nuggets and fries you can help yourself to at any time
• Someone to always blame a fart on
• An excuse to get out of doing something you don’t want to do. As in, “Sorry Bertha. I can’t go to that Irish tap dancing class because my child is projective vomiting.”
• A designated driver (anytime from the age of 8 on up)
• A rationalization for buying Peanut Butter Cap’n Crunch, but who really needs a reason?
• A reason to get up in the morning when you are having a hard time finding one.

But, perhaps the greatest advantage is that your kids tell it like it is. They call you out on your shit like no one else does. They know your buttons and they freaking push them all day long. Not even your best friend in the world would dare to point out the things your kids do.

• Mom, why are you getting so angry that vein is popping out of your neck?
• Wow, mom, that eye shadow is too much. It looks kind of creepy.
• Mom, that fart smells like something died in your colon. Have you been to the doctor?
• Why are you in such a bad mood and blaming stuff on me? I’m just a kid. Maybe you need to go lay down.

And the occasional heart breaker:

• I know you tried your hardest in that race. Good job, mom. I’m proud of you. (Remember this amazing thing? If you haven’t read what Emma wrote, go do it.)

You know this is leading up to something, right? That I have one of my stories to tell that ties into all of the above? I’m a sucker for a good, pointless story.

Setting: Yesterday morning, 7:30 a.m. My kitchen

The kids were eating breakfast at the counter before school. I was in my go-to outfit that is a combination of pajamas and “active wear.” It is something I can sleep in, but also something I could wear to the grocery store if need be. This cuts down on having to change clothes very often. Yesterday's outfit was a pair of sweats and a t-shirt.

I was standing at the stove cooking my oatmeal (yeah, I make the real thing that takes about 15 minutes). I was stirring away, my back to the kids.

Sam: “Hey mom.”
Me: “Yeah?”
Sam: “Doesn’t it bother you the way you have such a wedgie right now? Like, don’t you even feel that?”
Me: “Okay, maybe you shouldn’t be looking at your mother’s butt. Ever think of that?”
Sam: “It wasn’t like I was trying. I was just panning around the room, and-boom!-saw your wedgie.”

And, he was right. My sweats had totally creeped up. Not a pretty sight. But I feel blessed I had some wise 13 year old to point this out to me before I went to the library. Because NO ONE, not even librarians, like to see a turkey butt (def: the condition of having one's clothing stuck between the buttocks.When ones ass gobbles up their pants.”). Gobble, gobble.

At least I did not have this going on (God bless People of Walmart):

At least she is buying TP for those cheeks.

What’s the best thing about having kids?

How do your kids (or, someone else’s) call you out on stuff or push your buttons?

SUAR

Being Perfect Is Boring

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – I’m a sucker for inspiration. I’ll take it wherever I can get it: Hallmark Greeting cards, fortune cookies, Lifetime movies. I don’t think it matters if it’s delivered in a corny and cliché fashion, I am open to the greater messages underneath.

Okay, maybe not this one:
 

Here's where I found inspiration last night: Soul Surfer. You know the movie – the one based on a true story about teenage surfer, Bethany Hamilton, whose arm was chomped off by a shark. Against all odds, she came back to surf professionally.

I wanted to watch this movie with Emma, my ten year old daughter, to see what her take away would be. I knew she’d love the allure of Hawaii and the pretty teenage girls, but I wondered if she’d get the bigger message underneath.

With our big bowl of popcorn between us on my bed, we watched the story unfold. It was predictable to say the least. Girl is on top on top of the world destined to do great things. Girl experiences tragedy, almost dies, loses a limb. Girl wants to surf again, but can’t keep up. Girl goes on an eye opening trip to Thailand after the tsunami and realizes that “love is the answer.” Upon her return home, girl makes a huge surfing comeback because she has realized the meaning of life.

As Bethany crested that final huge wave that put her on the podium, I tried not to show Emma I was tearing up. She gets all wigged out when I cry, not understanding I cry out of emotion, not necessarily because I’m sad. But, she worries. As the credits rolled, I turned towards Emma.

Me: “So, what did you learn from that?”
Emma (without missing a beat): “To live your dreams no matter what.”

Bingo.

Later she came up to me and said, “It is easier to have  two arms. But, having two arms is perfect. And, it’s more exciting to not be perfect.”

Dang, she’s smart.

Funny thing is, none of us are perfect even if we have two arms. The way I see it our job is to know that we we have “imperfections,” but never be limited by them.  We’re often told we can do whatever we want to do if we just set our minds to it. If you accept this philosophy, keep in mind two things:

1. It’s okay and even ideal to dream big, but be prepared to fail many, many times. No one, and I mean no one, flies through life unscathed, especially while aiming for lofty goals. Remember this Nike commercial and what Michael Jordan said?

I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career
I’ve lost almost 300 games
26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot…and missed
I've failed over and over and over again in my life
And that is why I succeed.

2. Understand that your success might look a bit different than you imagined it. We always have  vision in our minds of how things are going to go. I will run a 3:45 marathon. I will not walk. I will take a GU every hour and I will drink water at every aid station. I will not have to poop during the course of the race.

You will probably finish the marathon, but what happens between miles 1 and 26.2 might be very different than what you had planned. Remember when my husband Ken trained his ass off for his first marathon last spring? Remember how he was on track to run a 3:43? Remember how at the half way point his hip gave out and he had to walk many of the remaining miles? Remember how despite all of that he finished the marathon anyway?

Always be willing to see the small achievements in everything you do, even if all does not go your way.  Learn from the experience and set your sights for next time.

Ever have a race go differently than you’d planned? What did you learn from it? Two years ago and against my better judgment I ran a half marathon with a piercing pain in my foot. It hurt every step of the 13.1 miles. By the time I finished I had to be carried to the car. Diagnosis? Stress fracture. I learned that I was a dumb ass and that it’s okay to back out of a race even if you trained for it and paid for it. I also learned to never go to bed with an itchy bum, but that was a different race

SUAR

The Fit and Healthy Moms

Remember a couple of months ago when I groveled and you voted for me?

I almost look constipated, but I’m not

Thanks to you, I was voted one of the “Top Health and Fitness and Mom Blogs of 2011” on the Circle of Moms website. I didn’t even have to pay anyone money under the table or streak through the streets of Denver for your votes.

While I am proud to say I snagged the #1 spot (not due to me being super cool, but due to you guys voting and putting me there), there are also 24 of your other favorite healthy, hot mama bloggers listed: Amanda from Runninghood, Taking it On, Marcia from The Studly Runner, EMZ, MCM Mama, Racing with Babes, Candice from I Have Run, Lesley from Racing It Off and so many more gems!

Circle of Moms is  the largest and fastest-growing online community for moms, connecting over 6 million moms worldwide to share advice and support essential to the journey of motherhood.

If you haven’t checked out this resource, you should. I wish it had been around when I had a child on the teat 24/7 and thought I would pull my hair out. There is nothing more essential than moms having support while experiencing this thing called parenting.

Now, go take a look at the top 25 and what we have to say about how we balance health and motherhood. We also offer up great fitness tips for busy moms!

What’s your best tip for staying fit while being a mom and doing everything else you do? You’ll have to look at the website to see mine.

SUAR

Stuff People Say

“Life will suck if you are always wishing you’re doing something else.
Life will rock if you realize you’re already doing the best thing ever.” 
- Leo from Zen Habits (one of the best blogs out there!)

Is it just me, or do you go through your days having interesting little interactions with people? Some people you know, some you don’t. Some exchanges are funny, some are sad or touching, and some just leave you scratching your head. This week I’ve had some pretty precious and priceless ones come my way.

Setting: The grocery store, two days ago

Cashier: That lady who just bought groceries is going to New York City! Can you believe it? New York City!!
Me: Yeah, that’s pretty cool. (but not caring too much)
Cashier: I mean, did you hear me? She is going to New York City! That is crazy, man!
Me: (wondering if this guy has ever left the grocery store): Yeah, that’s pretty cool.
Cashier: I mean, I just don’t know if I could handle New York City with all that craziness. I have seen all of the “Home Alone” movies, so I know what it is like.
What I think in my head but don’t say: YES! Because “Home Alone” is the most accurate depiction of real life in NYC I can think of. Because everyone who lives in NYC is a ten year old boy who is mistakenly left alone by his parents and who puts on aftershave and scares away robbers with boobie traps.

Setting: My Ford Explorer, this morning (because a lot of exchanges go down in the car)

Me: God, I don’t’ know what my problem is. Running just gives me gas. I bet I farted 90 times on my run today.
Emma (daughter, 10): Really? Did you just fart? I don’t smell it.
Me: Matter of time. (locking the windows because I am that type of mom)
Emma: Oh, yeah, here it comes. Ewww. Egg salad. I had egg salad once at grandma’s. It was good. It was egg whites and yolks.
What I think in my head but don’t say: At least she smells my farts and still eats egg salad.

Setting: Wahoo’s Fish Taco with my two girlfriends, last night

Friend1: I’d like the chicken bowl
Cashier: White or black beans?
Friend1: White
Cashier: Brown or white rice?
Friend1: White (I’m beginning to think she’s racist)
Cashier: Do you like it wet?
What I think in my head but don’t say: That’s what she said.

Setting: Sitting on Emma’s bed at night, two days ago

Emma: Mom, can you remember to call my piano teacher to tell her I won’t be there Saturday?
Me: Yep, I’ll do it. I’ll also let Katie know you’ll be at her house at 1 pm. tomorrow.
Emma: Mom, thank you for just taking care of everything and making things go just right.
What I think in my head but don’t say: Seriously? Did my offspring just say that? could all of these years of martyrdom and pulling my hair out really be worth it after all?

Setting: Grocery Store, five days ago

Me: (wearing Bolder Boulder 10K shirt)
Person bagging my groceries (PBMG): Did you run that race?
Me: Yep (And I’ll tell you about a time I ran with Dean or when I ran the Boston Marathon if you want, all you have to do is ask. Did I mention I’m training for a half ironman?).
PBMG: Here’s what I don’t get. Like, why would you want to do that? Why would anyone want to do that?
What I think in my head but don’t say: Why would anyone want to bag groceries?

 

What’s an interesting interaction you’ve had this week?

Would you buy a “Sneak In?” I would not simply because I do not know anyone in jail right now.

Brown or white rice? I’m brown all the way.

Do you ever think things in your head you don’t say? Yes. About 9,541 times per day.

SUAR

PS: If your ordered a Burn Out tee or men’s tech tee, they are being mailed today and should take 2-5 days (except international). The tech tees will go out next week and will also take 2-5 days to ship. I’ll let you know the day those are mailed.

Winner & “A Day in the Life”

The winner of the Active Band $50 giveaway is #79 Allison from (Mis)Adventures of the Johnson Jocks. Wonder if they know Harry Beaver. Congrats! Shoot me an email at beth@shutupandrun.net and I’ll let you know how to claim your prize!

******************

Everyone once in awhile I will do these “day in the life” posts. Not because I think my life is that interesting; really it’s not. I do it because I want other people to do it. PLEASE! I know you all through this crazy blogging world, but I really don’t know the ins and outs of your days.

In and out. In and out. TWSS.

The blog only tells so much. It is an overview. Everyone once in awhile, we need to share the minutia. The mundane. The stupid. Lord knows I have a lot of that going on.

The cool thing about my life and why I love it so much is that no two days are in any way the same. I work from home, so the unraveling of my day is based on kids’ schedules, my workload, my training plan and letting the dog out back to shit.

A Day in the Life

5:30 a.m. Get the damn coffee going before I lose my momentum:

5:40 a.m. Take out the recycle (which tells a lot about someone) while coffee brews:

5:45 a.m. Take some drugs (meth and crack not pictured):

5:50 a.m. Feed this lump of precious stinky fur. He is looking at you with that one eye. Yes, that is my bike in the dining room. It is the only safe place for a bike. Climate controlled. Free of robbers. My mom HATES that I do that. Moms think dining rooms are for fine china, not Treks.

6:00 a.m. Head to the pool with Scooby Do towel for some early morning laps:

6:15 a.m. Grab a lane, preferably one without band aids, hairballs or feces:

7:10 a.m. Put on running stuff and head out from the pool:

7:30 a.m. Arrive at middle school to coach some cross country:

7:40 a.m. Run three miles with these girls (my victims)

8:15 a.m. Head home and notice my car looks like I am homeless. But I bet yours does too.

8:20 a.m. Also notice how I carry around half eaten food on my seat. Them are some perfect bite marks.

8:21 a.m. My car console has to be one of an athlete in training (cereal, Z bars, GPS, sunscreen and Altoids so I can impress the pussy posse).

9:15 a.m. Wake up this kid because he is getting braces off today. Drive him to dentist.

9:40 a.m. But first stop at Starbucks for hit #2 of caffeine for the day

9:45 a.m. You can tell I handed the camera over to Sam. Some unknown person’s butt. Is it yours?

9:46 a.m. Enter Starbucks. Try to take pictures of baristas but they inform me this is “strictly prohibited.” Whatever. I tell them I’m just having fun and FINE I will only post pictures of myself.

9:50 a.m. Grande coffee with extra extra cream and I’m ready to roll. I don’t get Sam anything because he always wants the $6 frap and I’m not that nice. I even have a coffee bag with a free coupon on it. I am frugal (cheap) that way.

10:00 a.m. Greeted by this dear friend, Kathy, at the dentist. She makes me look bad with her perfect hair and stunning outfit. Very, very bad.

10:15 a.m. Sam in all of his braces-removal-glory. I wish I had a multi colored shirt like that. Where do the dentists get those?

11:00 a.m. Check out those pearly whites:

11:05 a.m. The orthodontist office gives him a gift bag with all the “bad” candy in it. I love them for it.

High noon. Make myself a quick lunch (grilled ham/cheese with tomato and Dijon because I am fancy like that)

12:30 p.m. Trip to the grocery store. Yes, I look very serious when I shop. And yes I do need a hair cut and color.

12:50 p.m. Emma thinks she is two years old again. No dammit, I do not have a penny for that dirty thing.

1:30 p.m. Family stop off at Coldstone. I go for the “Like It”:

1:45 p.m. I make kids use their gift cards because I am cheap and no way am I spending $4 for a glorified scoop of ice cream with a couple mix ins.

1:50 p.m. I love summer. I love my kids. But only when I’m holding ice cream.

2:00 p.m. until late into the deep dark night. Me and my computer make love. Reports to be written. Training plans to be thought out. Blog posts to be read. Emails to answer. Twats to be made.

That’s all I got.

Do you work from home or have flexibility in your days? I am a contractor for several social service agencies around here. I meet with families in their homes and write all my reports from my home office.

Does your car look like you’re homeless? What’s the weirdest thing you keep in your car? I have an airplane blanket I stole from Jet Blue. I’ve gotten lots of mileage out of that thing.

Do you like ice cream with chunks in it or just smooth? I’m a big chunk person. I LOVE Oreos and cookie dough in mine.

How do you take your coffee? Frou frou drinks or just plain ol’ Joe? I’m a plain coffee gal myself.

Post your “day in the life.” I dare you.

SUAR

Giving Stuff Up

*Alert* Many of you have asked about Shut Up and Run shirts. They are in the works. Had to tweak the logo a bit. I’ll let you know when they are available. Right now I am thinking of offering a tech shirt, a tank-type women’s running shirt and a visor.

If I am correct, this is what I learned from you guys about how to fit in high training volume:

• “Suck it up buttercup!” Get up way early. Plan well. (Jason)
• Less showering
• Less TV
• Don’t worry if the house is a disaster
• Give up reading, socializing, etc.
• Hydrate
• Feel free to lie on the airport floor except if you’re EMZ aka germaphobe

I've thought a lot about your advice and it really helped. This training is only for the next two months, therefore temporary. I am willing to sacrifice big time to get to the start line of this freaking race and to complete it. This got me to thinking…what am I not willing to give up?

• The quality of my parenting
• I will keep turning off computer/training/everything at 8pm, cuddling up on the couch and watching an hour or two of TV/movie or reading. This is my only down time of the day and I’m not getting rid of it. Probably will keep that glass of wine too.
• The quality of my work in my “real job.”
• The quality of my friendships and relationships with my parents
• The quality of my marriage
• Yoga/meditation/prayer/inspirational reading
• Home cooked meals

Things I am willing to sacrifice

• Sleep; getting up at 5:00 a.m. has become no big deal
• Cleaning toilets, picking up dog poop and other house chores that I can make my kids do
• Some extraneous social events that would be fun, but aren’t completely necessary
• Shopping
• Answering the phone. I don’t usually do this anyway.
• Surfing the net
• Writing a couple of blog posts here and there. C’mon. I write every day. I might miss a few when things really ramp up.
• Showering, primping, etc. No big deal if it doesn’t happen. That’s what deodorant, FDS and smelly lotions/perfumes are for.

Today I went to Bikram (hot) yoga and am proud to say I still haven’t showered. It could get ugly around here. I’m just doing what you told me to do.

In other news, it’s day two of Sam being in Chicago with the grandparents. Our text exchange:

Me: Emma and I are getting pedicures. Wish u were here.

Yeah, that second toe IS a finger. So what?

Sam: I’m at Marshall Fields

Me: Buy me something

Sam: Like what?

Me: A bra or tampons.

I never got a response on that one. I think he’s traumatized.

Do you embarrass or humiliate your children on purpose?

What are you willing to sacrifice to train for races?

SUAR

Winner and Going Bald?

The winner of the Interval 4G Waterproof Headphone System for iPod Shuffle is #130 Lisa! She wrote:

Please email me at shutuprun@gmail.com and I’ll tell you how to claim your prize!

Moving on…

Something is wrong around here. I am going bald. How do I know this? It’s not because my hair is seeming terribly thin or you can see my scalp. It is because my family is finding my hair…in their meals.

Gross. I know.

Last week my dad came for dinner. I made Tuscan Stew. I saw him eat a bite with a long hair hanging out of his mouth. I knew it was the cook’s. I knew it was mine.

Yesterday I peeled an orange for Emma (yeah, I know she can peel it herself. I’m so damn enabling sometimes). An orange is innocent enough, but I heard her panicky voice yell, “There is a hair in my orange segment.”

And if that wasn’t enough, last night I whipped together a breakfast burrito for Sam after baseball. He’s 13 so he stuffs his face with anything edible and consumes about 13,000 calories in two seconds. As he wolfed it down, he did the “hair move” – you know the one – when you realize there is a hair in your mouth, you grab hold if it and pull it out while simultaneously gagging and making a face. I knew it was my hair because he kept pulling and pulling.

Mom you need to start wearing a hair net while you cook!

He still finished the burrito though.

Yes, it’s gross, but more than that it’s disturbing. I am only 44. A hair net is not a bad idea. I might ask the cafeteria ladies at school for one.

Here’s the thing. Maybe I’m just going through seasonal shedding, like a dog. Or hormonal changes.  Probably not a big deal.

I did hear something disturbing recently, however. About hair loss. The headline was, “Causes of Pubic Hair Loss.” Yes, balding down there with age. Dang, it sucks to get old. At least I’ll be clean shaven for the pool. No wonder those pussy posse ladies always look so trimmed. Good news is, you can buy a wig specifically for that area. It’s called a merkin. I’m not kidding. Look it up.

Do you shed? What hair care products to you use to keep your hairs healthy?

Speaking of, I’m off to the pool for 2,000 yards. Happy Friday.

SUAR

The Best Gift Ever

I found this piece of paper on my desk yesterday, made by my 9 year daughter.

Clearly she is not a teenager yet because she still thinks I’m cool.

I have often wanted to ask my kids, “How could I be a better mom?” But, then I am too scared. Will they have a laundry list that highlights all of my inadequacies? Will I find out what I have feared – that I have failed them?

The reason her gift means the world to me is not because it pictures things I love. Not because she hit the nail on the head regarding Boston (love how she calls it “the Boston.”) Not because she said nice things about me.

Because it shows her heart. Kind, compassionate, outwardly focused, creative, intuitive, selfless, beautiful.

I am so not the perfect mother. I can cringe thinking of things I have habitually done wrong or have not done at all. However, I do believe I have taught and modeled one thing really well.

When you love someone, you support them in their passions. You care about what they do, who they spend time with, how they feel. You are around. A lot. Just in case they need you. You give them space to be who they are, yet check back frequently to see how their journey is going. You can be counted on.You do what you say you are going to do.

I have never told my daughter I was nervous about Boston.  And, no, she does not read the blog. But, she obviously knows about my injury (crutches are a decent giveaway). How she knew yesterday, the day of my first run in three months, I would so need to read her words, I’ll never know. But, she knew.

Loving someone sometimes means showing up in the most unexpected of ways.

You bet I’ll be carrying this gift with me on April 18.

SUAR

Mother of the Year & Giveaway Winner!

The winner of a necklace of your choice from Anne Franklin Designs is #71 MCM Mama! Congrats. Shoot me an email at shutuprun@gmail.com and I’ll tell you how to claim your prize! Anne of AFD wanted me to pass on to you how much she has appreciated your views of her site and “likes” on Facebook. Keep her awesome products in mind for the holidays! She sent me a necklace and I love it.

 

In other news, for Sam’s birthday he wanted to go paint balling.

I seriously should get some sort of prize for this:

Feel free to comment on the elephant in the room – i.e., that lumpy muscle in my arm. Want a muscle like that? Use crutches. I may not be able to run for shit when this is all over, but I’ll have some crazy arm candy.

Believe me, I tried to not wear the mask, but if you even lifted it an inch off your face you had to do ten pushups. No joke. Those rednecks don’t mess around.

Hanging with the 13 year olds,

SUAR

PS: Don’t forget my $25 Subway Gift Card Giveaway.

Giveaway Winner & Vacation Memories

The winner of the Scape Sunblock giveaway was #121 Patti L! Congrats, Patti. Email me at brisdon@comcast.net with your address and I’ll send it right out to you!

Now onto the good stuff. I am so glad to be out of the traveling turd RV. Don’t get me wrong. I love my family. But, I could have been in that RV with Jesus and would have gotten sick of him. If my children are close enough to me at night that I can throw a shoe and hit them, it’s too tight of quarters.

25 feet gets really small really fast 

We did make lots of memories, however.

Number of times I walked across this suspension bridge at the Royal Gorge: 1

 

Number of times I looked down between the slats at the river 1,200 ft. below wondering if that day was the day the bridge would finally collapse: 49

Number of times Ken ran into a tree and took off the passenger side mirror: 1

Number of dollars to fix the mirror: $600

Number of times I crapped in the RV: 3

Number of times we emptied the sewage and felt the warm contents moving through the hose (at least I have my Life is Good shirt on. Oh, the irony): 4

Number of miles I ran: 12

Number of mountain passes I drove over in the traveling turd (guardrails optional): 3

Number of times I threatened to put my nine year old in a time out in a camping chair with no food or water or books: 1

Number of times I actually did it: 0

Number of bottles of wine I drank: 2

Number of times I counted my blessings: 5,234

Some of my clearest and most fond memories growing up involve family vacations. My parents loved to rough it. Once we did a cross country road trip from Maryland to Montana for a month and slept in a tent the whole way. That was the trip my sleeping bag caught on fire with me in it. 

I have found that the best memories are not made when everything is perfect. They are created when things don’t go quite right, when there is some challenge involved, when we move outside of our comfort zone. Our senses hold on to those experiences with an intensity that lasts throughout the decades.

Two weeks ago a friend’s mom found out she had cancer. She died this morning. I am reminded about the brevity and preciousness of life. I am reminded to hold on and to make it a wild and memorable ride. I am reminded to never let fear stop me from doing anything. And mostly I am reminded to love.

What’s your favorite/funniest childhood vacation memory?