How to Prevent the Dreaded Ass-icle

I invented a new word this weekend.

Ass + Icicle = Assicle

This is a phenomenon that occurs when you are running in snow and 15 degree temperatures several days in a row and your butt (or at least mine) begins to numb, then freeze. Look! Your water freezes too!

Does looking at this photo just make you cold? Well, it was.

I always thought that since the butt (or at least mine) is mostly pure and lovely fat, it would keep me warm. But, I did some research (i.e., Googling “why does my butt freeze when I run?”) and found out this is SO not the case.

You see, fat may be a great insulator, but it doesn’t carry around blood like muscle does. Therefore, circulation is limited resulting in the dreaded assicle.

You cannot see it, but there is a block of ice between my lower back and my upper thighs.

As you can guess, women are blessed with (as a stereotype) fattier asses than men (not fair, not fair at all), so we tend to freeze up more often. Ken never complains about his ass freezing. Never. But I did use this beard ice for my margarita later on.

I am thinking deeply right now: I bet if Kim Kardashian ran in the cold she would have a monumental assicle. Just sayin’.

Ways to Prevent the Assicle:

• Stay inside and watch Netflix
• Build up extreme muscle in your butt (because this is SO very easy to do)
• Wear an extra layer over your cheeks like a running skirt over tights
• Run with a quilt tied around your waist
• Wear a cycling jacket instead of a running jacket. They are longer (and have handy pockets in the back)

Yes, so it does take a bit more motivation and self talk to bundle up on these super cold days. But, the payoff? Peace, beauty and the honor of  labeling yourself a brave and courageous bad-ass. See my post HERE about tips for running in the cold.

How’s the weather where you are? We are beginning to thaw out after almost a week of snow and bitter cold.

Do you get the assicle? If not, what part of your body gets the coldest while running? For me, it’s my face, my hands and my butt. My legs, core and feet are usually pretty warm.

SUAR

Ever French Kissed Under the Mistletoe?

Here's what I'm thankful for - that I started keeping journals when I was 8 years old. Because looking back on these is the most hilarious thing of my life. I wrote this entry almost 29 years ago when I was 13 (dang, I'm old):

"My life is pretty decent. Matt M. is the man of my dreams at the moment. I've frenched him under the mistletoe and last night at the movie "Hurricane" I put my head on his shoulder when he sat by me. It was romantic. I can't help liking him. For Christmas I got some stuff called fart powder which you put in someone's drink or food and they're supposed to fart like THUNDER. I love Matt."

Not that much has changed. Except I married Ken, not Matt, and we don't french under the mistletoe. I still like fart powder.

Don't get all excited, but tomorrow is my running debut. Yes, tomorrow I will actually graduate from my walk/run sequence to running a full 20 minutes. This will be my first true run since the stress fracture 9 weeks and 4 days ago. It is cause for celebration. I can actually begin marathon training soon I hope. Christina has suggested Hal Higdon's program. Hell, if she used this to run her first marathon and did a 3:39 I'm sold.

And more cause for celebration is that there is a new book out called, "Rules for Runners: Everything a Runner Needs to Know and Then Some." It was written for me and I'll tell you why. It has such chapters as:

DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO FINISH AHEAD OF A COSTUMED RUNNER

LEARN, AND LOVE, THE FARMER’S BLOW

I'm pretty sure there also has to be a chapter about crapping your pants or some kind of toilet issue related to running. Running rules have to include something about poop/farts. I hope he talks about how to camouflage yourself as a bush along side of the road or how to clean yourself up with leaves when nature calls unexpectedly.

You can read an interview the the author, Mark Remy (Runner's World Executive Director), here.


Merry Thanksgiving to you all.