Me, tired and whining with dog in face
I felt like a bit of a whiner after my last post. WAH!! Thanks for all of your comments of support and understanding about my love/hate affair with running. In my infinite wisdom I've decided and realized that running is hard. There is no way around it. It is physically, emotionally and mentally intense and challenging. That said, I thought my friend Macker (and resident sport's physiologist on my blog and in real life) made an excellent point in response to my post:
Welcome to the club. Everybody that has any kind of ambitious running goals hits the point of "What's this all about"? Happened to me a couple of years ago and I'm just now coming out of it. There's the sport. To be your absolute best, you've got to push the envelope; unfortunately past the point of it being fun. There's other fun on the other side. You start hitting workouts that were unimaginable and when the races pay off, it's way fun. However, there are days, weeks, even months where it really is an absolute chore. I don't know anyone who trains seriously and enjoys it like they do when they're doing 15-20 miles/week. Everyone has to come up with their own cost/benefit. There have been times where the benefit was worth having running as a part-time job and there were times where I didn't need the hassle. I think that you've been doing great training and will continue to improve regardless of where you go from here.
What I loved about this response is it didn't let me, or any of you off of the hook. Macker's point is: yes, running and training are tough, especially when you have lofty and challenging goals. That's the point. If marathons were easy, if BQ'ing was easy, if any of it was easy, everyone would do it and we distance runners would not be doing anything out of the ordinary; would not be pushing ourselves so that when we crossed that finish line we are so overcome with emotion and bodily pain that we simultaneously cry, shit, and breathe a sigh of relief. In essence, it has to be this hard for it to be the accomplishment it is.
My solution? To keep running and running hard with goals in mind. The difference is, I am expecting it to feel really tough. I will stop fighting what is and realize it is part of the process for all of us. Not just for me. And it is never wasted time or energy, even when you don't get that PR.
So keep on everyone and I will too.