What Happens During a Real Marathon

I think we are all in agreement that chugging Cap'n Morgan, passing out and snowboarding does not qualify as a "real" marathon.

In a real marathon you:

1. Finish, look in the mirror, and wonder what that white stuff is caked all around your face: salt!
   
2. Poop in places you never thought possible
   
3. Are willing to pee on yourself and flush it away with water at the next aid station if it will save you some time


4. Might listen to the same song over and over again on your iPod just because it gives you that extra bit of inspiration


5. Chafe in places you didn't expect


6. Cry, smile, grimace, laugh in the same mile


7. Let the joy of seeing a loved one on the sidelines stay with you for miles and miles


8. Dig deep to places you didn't know you could go


9. Pray more than you've ever prayed before


10. Get really weird sunburns


11. Run for miles on blisters you wouldn't consider even walking on normally


12. Tell yourself "this is insane, I will never do this again," yet sign up for your next race the following week


13. Fixate on the backs of people in front of you running about the same pace. Maybe you make up stories about them, maybe you feel a bond with them, maybe you don't care but they keep you somehow grounded


14. Take food from strangers on the sidelines offering sliced oranges and pretzels


15. Fantasize about post-race indulgences like beer and pizza, but find your stomach can't handle the stuff after all


16. Wonder how that person with that type of body could finish a marathon. And you're impressed that they can


17. Smile for that professional photographer even though you want to kick him at mile 20


18. Understand why Pheidippides dropped dead after running the first marathon in Greece (and you worry you just might do the same)


19. Ask yourself numerous times "I paid $100 bucks for this?"


20. Love every minute of it in a really weird way


21. Think about how you'll blog about all of the pain and joy later


22. Are at one point too cold (usually the start) and later too hot


23. Get energy by passing people later in the race - maybe you even make a game of it to pass time


24. Think you're going to appreciate the entertainment along the course (bands, belly dancers, etc) but find you're too engrossed and in too much pain to care


25. Know the finish line is only .2 miles away, but where the *&#! is it?


26. Cross that finish line with the biggest sense of accomplishment you've ever had.

26 experiences for 26 miles. And there are hundreds more. Anything you'd like to add to the list?

Take that, Captain Morgan.