Saturday, September 26, 2009

A Fart In the Face Makes Me Smile


I look happier than I feel. Man, I never would have thought 35 comments from people I have never met personally could make me feel so supported!! Thanks so much for sharing your personal stories of comebacks and recoveries. You have made me see that this is temporary and I will be back at it someday - and maybe even stronger and smarter this time around!

To state the obvious, there is a lot of downtime with a stress fracture. I read my Health magazine cover to cover yesterday. Since I am not running and therefore do not have any good crap-yourself or fart-on-your-running-partner stories of my own, I decided to post this hilarious anecdote from the magazine. Plus, Jamoosh has reminded me I am on probation for not posting enough about poop/farts/boobs lately. Between the crutches and my daughter vomiting yesterday, this brought a much needed dose of humor to me and my fracture (from Sasha in Wisconsin):

"I'm lactose intolerant, but I just can't kick my cheese and chocolate milk cravings. The unfortunate result of my dairy bingeing is usually gas, but I consider myself something of a flatulence ninja because I'm a pro at concealing it. That wasn't the case though when I recently went in for a bikini wax after a night of lactose gluttony. I wanted the full monty, so when the aesthetician was done with my front, she made me flip over on all fours. As she smeared wax in the most nether regions of my behind, I just couldn't hold it any longer and accidentally let one rip in the poor woman's face. If that wasn't enough, I fell down laughing, which made my butt cheeks stick together form the wax, so the aesthtetician had to separate them and re-apply."

I think I love Sasha and the fact she calls herself a "flatulence ninja." I have not yet had the opportunity to fart in someone's face. I have, however, blown up more toilets than I care to think about, squeezed out turds on the delivery table and have come close to farting right on an Olympian. These stories to come on future blogs.

That's all I got for today. Good luck to all of you racing this weekend. I am going to live vicariously through each and every one of you!!

16 comments:

  1. I almost didn't recognize you in jeans!

    I get Health magazine and saw all those horror stories too! I can't believe those people actually shared their names and cities - uh hello you can totally be identified by your friends and coworkers! NO THANKS!

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  2. Oh my! I have somehow missed your last few posts...so sorry to hear about your injury.
    :( That just stinks.

    I hope that you heal quickly!

    Your post today gave me a good laugh. :)

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  3. YES! We are still getting the hilarious and disturbing stories. :D

    If it's any consolation, you look good on crutches! (But hopefully not for long!)

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  4. Keep the funny stories coming! Be good and stay off the foot! You'll be back at it again soon!

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  5. aw you look so cute in your crutches!!! stay strong and get better soon beth!

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  6. Damn girl, look at those bulging arms. How did you get so buff?

    That is hands-down, the best fart story I've ever heard. Ever. The funniest part was her reaction. Fell over laughing.....lol. I wonder what the wax lady did. LOL

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  7. I really love your blog. You make me laugh like crazy, and since I read at work (bad!), sometimes at very inappropriate times.

    Can you cycle at all on your foot? I don't know how long you have to wear the boot, but as you work back into training, biking may be a great way to start conditioning again. It sure saved me when I was off running for 6 months.

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  8. Nice to see you smiling! Happy recovery!

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  9. Ok so that is hilarious from Sasha. I love her too. can't wait for your fart stories. Bring em on! Heal up girl!

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  10. At least you look cute on crutches!

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  11. Thanks for stopping by my blog! If it's any consolation, I was in the air cast for stress fractures last year, then on crutches earlier this year... the injuries forced me to cross train and eventually into triathlon! I'm healed, and hopefully smarter for it. Wishing you a speedy recovery! :)

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  12. Just please keep writing.... I don't care about what! I like your blog and I hate this pretty darn serious injury of yours!!!!!!

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  13. OMG. That's hilarious; I would have been so embarrassed.
    I would be happy to talk to you about my coach. I had rest week this week and it did so much good for me. I love her training style.

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  14. Do not discount yourself, I fully believe that you are a well qualified Fartician!

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  15. Cute pic! :) Thanks for hte laugh!

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