Wednesday, September 9, 2009

And His Body Glistened in the Sun

I went back for more torture today. I thought I might be done with that running group - the one where no one talks to me and everyone exists in these little cliques. The one where I was frowned on for doing the "wrong" race (I chose the Boulder Backroads Half in ten days when apparently I should have chosen the Indian Peaks Half - something political I guess).

Given that I actually paid to be in this group and to get some coaching, I thought I should return. I have found lots of excuses to not go: black toenail, sore back, relay, it's Tuesday, I'm asleep, my mom called, Rugrats is on. You get the picture.

So I show up. Everyone is in a little circle. One girl briefly looks at me and says, "Hello." I stand there. The outsider. Wanting to get back in my car and listen to Dr. Robin tell me I'm special. Feeling like the last one picked for teams on gym day in sixth grade. A loser. If you're thinking I'm overly sensitive, you're probably a man or a lesbian and you're probably right, but we women like to feel included. We like to feel validated, dammit. Sometimes it's fun to play the victim. Just let me have a moment.

Boobs, fart, big turd, football. There you go, men - something to relate to.

We start running a two mile warm up. I'm glad to be running and not standing there picking my nose. We stop and stretch. We are splitting into two groups. The head honcho coach is leading one group - he says for people who run sub-8 minute miles. The other group is for people who might be a bit slower. I gravitated towards the slower group, but was told by that coach to go with the other three girls. The fasties. Thus commenced one of my hardest workouts in a long time:

Whistle blows, coach yells, "We're doing 7 intervals. 3 minutes each. 10K pace." Apparently everyone's 10K pace is a 7 min/mile cause that's what we're doing. After each interval, we get 60 seconds to run slower and capture our breath. Whistle blows: start again. And again and again. 7 freaking times. Last one I was seriously dying. As in if no one was looking and the coach wasn't right on my ass I would have laid down in the dirt and wet myself.

We finish and I chat with the fasties over lemon lime Gatorade. We are sort of friends now, bonded over a hard workout with lots of sweat and hard breathing. Coach meanwhile takes off his shirt and runs off into distance. Glistening in the sun. Apparently our little 7 mile speed workout was the appetizer to his "real" workout. Go Coach. After all, he is actually a good/knowledgeable coach and a kick ass runner.

I know this is supposed to make me faster and better. But I leave you with this: I hate speed work.

23 comments:

  1. Oh, man! That sounds tough. But, it will certainly make you faster, whether you become friends w/those girls or not.

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  2. Good for you for going back, you paid the fee so you are entitle to the torture just like everyone else whether they talk to you or not.

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  3. Glad you went AND glad you got put with the fasties.....shows what you are made of!! You rocked it! Way to go! I know you felt like dyin, but you did it!!!
    It will make you faster and just think....one day you will run off after this "little" workout and you too will glisten in the sunlight!!! Hahaha!!

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  4. Sing it sista! Speedwork blows!

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  5. I commend you for sticking out that pace! I would have seriously died! We have a track club here that meets daily at 5PM. They keep asking me to run with them, but I always work till 6PM. I wish I could join them because I like running with other people. Stay with it!

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  6. haha, that cracked me up. good for you going again, and i agree... maybe we don't all say it out loud but i HATE HATE HATE being left out. you got some balls lady, i would have run so fast just back to my car to be validated by dr. robin. well done. and i only hate speedwork because i'm slow. boo.

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  7. i really hate speedwork too...and doing it with a bunch of people that are ignoring me would certainly not make me just looooove it

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  8. At first I read "fatsies" not "fasties" and I was like, why on earth would he stick you with them??? and why make them run those intervals, that's just MEAN! haha, and then I re-read, and my retard brain recessed back a bit and well, you get the picture.
    I'm glad you made some little friends. Now share your bear crap picture with them, you'll be besties for LIFE.

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  9. Sounds like someone may end up in their own clique...

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  10. So the loner in the group is one of thr fast kids! Nice! :)

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  11. You and Morgan hate the speed work. And for people so much faster than me I don't understand it. I love it. I pretend to do speed work in the pool. Aqua jogging - now that sucks. (Definitely going to accessorize like you mentioned! LOL!)

    Sorry your running group is clique-y. You can always come run with us! Florida isn't too far.

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  12. I'm glad you're making some friends in this group. Running groups can be so helpful! Great job with hanging in there with the fasties.

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  13. This is why I don't run with a group! I hate it when they're all in a circle and won't open up to include you. Makes me want to bodyslam somebody. And I have a lot of body to slam ;)

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  14. 7 freakin' times? well I just about died doing only 4 loops at practice the other day - you rock.

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  15. Good for you on the speedwork. Yikes.

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  16. I hate speedwork...but I hate being left out all the more. Nice work on going back and running fast. I bet you are at least respected now.

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  17. Good god woman. Why do you torture yourself with that group. I hate speedwork too, but I try to do it anyway.

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  18. Oh, no, you don't hate speed work. You love it. You love it. You love it! I think it is awesome you get to train with a group. Even though they were not very welcoming, sounds like you bonded over speedwork. Keep it up and pretty soon running 7s is going to feel easy (OK, bearable:) Ana-Maria

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  19. Your running group sounds awful :(

    I hate speedwork too. Maybe not so much if I was chasing after a well-muscled torso glistening in the sun.

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  20. I hate being a girl sometimes. Sounds like you held your own and cracked the inner circle.

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  21. I hate speed workouts too but you nailed it girl!!! I totally hate being left out and feeling like the odd runner. It puts me in a bad mood. Make me feel included dangit! If i was there, we could have buddied up and beat someones @$$!! :)

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  22. Ugh!!! That workout sounds brutal! But congrats to you for sticking with it! Great job!

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  23. Speedwork is BOSS!! You'll change your mind and like it as soon as you run your marathon and qualify for B :)

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