Tuesday, January 14, 2014

9 Confessions For Today

I have not done one of these “expose myself” posts in a long time. We all have secrets. Here are a few of mine.

1. I am jealous of people who have running groups. I don’t have a group. It is probably my fault that I don’t have a group, but I don’t.

2. I often fart on the treadmill, just out of habit. I never know how loud it is because I have my ear buds in. I hope everyone else does too.

3.  If I pick something out at the store and put it in my cart and decide I don’t want it, I never put it back. Never. I stick it somewhere it clearly doesn’t belong. If it was a refrigerated or frozen item I will make sure it is kept cold, but I never put it back where it goes.

4. Sometimes I feel like a super star when I run, and sometimes I feel like a turd. Yesterday I ran for 2 miles and was very, very tired. Did I mention I was going very, very slow? On days like this I think to myself – I am a fake. How do I run marathons? How in the hell did I ever pull out an Ironman?

5. On occasion when I’m feeding Heidi I want to taste her dog food. But, at the same time it grosses me out, so I don’t. Am I the only one who tried dog food when they were a kid? It was gross then, I’m guessing it hasn’t gotten a whole lot better.

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6. Many mornings when I make the bed, I find candy in the sheets. That is because every night I eat candy in bed and I am a slob (that is a lonely Necco wafer, not a communion wafer):

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7. I get hungry while watching the Biggest Loser and eat lots of junk food. And, drink wine. WDHM? (Would Dolvett Hate Me?)

8. I love my life but I always question if I’ve made the “right” professional choices. Did I major in the “right” thing? Did I take the “right” jobs? What if I had accepted my invitation into the Peace Corps?

9. Before I start every run I am not sure I can complete it. Then I do and I wonder why I questioned myself. Viscous cycle of running insecurity.

Now it’s your turn. One confession. BTW, I don’t floss either, but I always say I do.

SUAR

PS: Have you ever been in a situation where you had a bottle of wine, but no corkscrew? This is the ultimate First World Problem. Well, never again. Running shoe + wine bottle = success. I have not tried this. You try it first and let me know if it works.

 

73 comments:

  1. I drink more wine than I should. Most nights I have 2 glasses. Sometimes more.

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    1. Yes, no doubt this applies to me as well. I knew I liked you.

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    2. I'm in that boat too. And I always put my left shoe on first. Always. And I rarely have matching socks on. Same style, yes, but rarely the same exact pair. :)

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    3. Count me in...on the wine not the socks;)

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  2. I stopped watching the Biggest Loser because I end up eating so much!

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  3. I hide in the bathroom and play games on my phone....my family must think I have gastrointestinal issues

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  4. Once my dog had a less-than-firm poop (envision melting chocolate ice cream) when we were out running. Someone was in view, so I pretended to pick it up in my doggy waste bag. I picked up a rock instead.

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    1. I laughed so hard at this because I have done the EXACT same thing. Who can pick up that slime?

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  5. I could have written this! So me, well, except the part about the Peace Corp. I do question my career decision though. I'm a dental hygienist by the way. We know when you lie :)

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  7. I belong to two running groups but they both have beer at the end. Oh, and one has trivia. It's about the beer and the socialization.
    I am the queen of "You will never catch me…." running, doing a triathlon etc, yet I have done them and secretly like them.
    I am running my first half in April not because it is something I have ever wanted to do but primarily due to peer pressure. And a girl's weekend. Oh, and beer. Have I mentioned the beer and socialization?
    I still think I am a total poser when it comes to running.
    I am generally a lazy person. Runners aren't supposed to be lazy. Poser.

    And I totally just posted as my daughter. Poser.

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  8. I'm jealous of people who have running groups and I feel so slow/doubt myself most of the time.

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  9. I joined a running group over a year ago (and by join I mean I joined their Facebook page). I never went out on a run with them till a few months ago. I am now kicking myself that I didn't do this sooner. It's so nice to have people to talk to about running and to run with (I still like to run solo sometimes too). They have all different paces, distances, some only run 10k's, some 100 mile ultras. It's really cool, I highly recommend finding one!

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  10. Bbbwahahaha, I'm literally guilty of every one of those (with the exception of #6). Replace the candy with cookies, preferably Fudge Stripe. I'm secretly really intimidated and scared to join a running group for real, I constantly doubt myself as a runner.....not fast enough, look like a wounded t rex when running, not cool enough.....blah blah

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  11. I eat and drink beer while watching biggest loser. I constantly find stray Wasabi Peas in my sheets. I run with people that I met in a running group that I can no longer run with cause my work schedule changed. And I've done every distance race up to a half marathon and still feel like a turd a couple times a week. I just joined a gym cause the weather has been sucky. Although I don't fart, I have caught myself multiple time getting ready to spit...Lol!!

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  12. My sister and I used to eat Milk Bones when we were kids. And rabbit pellets. We now run together, but she's faster and stronger and I secretly want to beat her. (running, not with a stick)

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    1. Milk bones. Yes, I have tasted those. But, no rabbit pellets. Maybe I will try a guinea pig pellet.

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  13. I eat and drink beer while watching biggest loser. I constantly find stray Wasabi Peas in my sheets. I run with people that I met in a running group that I can no longer run with cause my work schedule changed. And I've done every distance race up to a half marathon and still feel like a turd a couple times a week. I just joined a gym cause the weather has been sucky. Although I don't fart, I have caught myself multiple time getting ready to spit...Lol!!

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  14. I'm laughing as I sit here eating a bowl of OHs cereal while watching the Biggest Loser!!!

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  15. I laughed at #3 and I know you're not the only one who does this--every time my husband and I go to Target, it turns into a game of how many items we can spot that are in the wrong place! He's better at finding things than I am, probably because I'm too distracted shopping in the C9 running clothes section of the store.

    I guess that's also my confession---I have to look through the running clothes EVERY time I go to Target.

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  16. I feel like I could've written most of these, especially about feeling like a fake. I used to eat dog biscuits but stopped because I was allergic haha.

    Today at the store I saw an Alfredo Sauce jar hanging out with the toilet paper. Now I know who to blame.

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  17. HAHAHHA, I never put anything back where it belongs either. I leave the box or bag behind when I take the last of whatever was in there. I probably drink more wine than I should.

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  18. I feel you on the candy. I like to eat sugar pretty much 24/7 but I can't so I have to pick and choose wisely....

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  19. I always find cookie crumbs in my bed... or stray pieces of Chex Mix. Because who doesn't like a little Chex Mix before bed?

    Also, my car is DISGUSTING. Whenever my cup holders are full, I just make sure the Diet Coke can is empty and chuck it into the back seat. There must be at least 10 back there, because they are currently making a whole lot of noise when I drive!

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  20. My wife would say, "Only one! Where would you start?"

    Running or biking, I'm a very messy farmer blow. Very. Don't say I didn't warn you.

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  21. I am addicted to Good N Plenty. I hide a box in the car and ration them on my way home from work. 1 box/3-12 hour shifts... unless my husband gets in my car then its 1 box/ ride :)

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  22. I'm with you on 1, 2, 4, and 8. Here's mine...I get irrationally angry that my sister in law beats me at Words With Friends.

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  23. I have tried Milk Bones and dry cat food both were just Meh. When I go to the grocery store and need to fart I find an isle with a kid in it, do my thing and quickly leave.

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  24. mine??
    MY NEW PUPPY PEEEEED INSIDE YESTERDAY MORE THAN OUTSIDE! :-)

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  25. Oh I do the same thing at the grocery store! But, like a hypocrite, when I see that other people put things in the wrong place I'm like "ugh, seriously?"
    I also pretend to be on the phone when I see someone I don't want to talk to....

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    1. I have been known to hide in the pet food aisle when I see someone I don't want to talk to..

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  26. A lot of these sound familiar. I'm basically lazy. I'm training for my first half and I feel like a turd just about every day. That's when the "you're not really a runner" voice is booming through my head. I've never joined a running group because I'm afraid I wouldn't keep up. And Biggest Loser -- oh yeah! Popcorn or dark coconut fruit bars (or both).

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  27. Confession: Lately I've been setting my alarm to run before work, and almost every day I decide against it. Ugh - I'm working on it this year!!

    And I do the same thing at the grocery store.

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  28. I feel like farting on the treadmill is a given. Just keep running :)
    I almost went into the Peace Corps too but didn't follow through... I still wonder if I should have too!

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  29. When somebody gives me chocolate as a gift for the family, I sometimes hide it and eat it all by myself.

    Gabrielle

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  30. These are fantastic! You had me laughing when mentioning The Biggest Loser as I find myself ALWAYS with a glass of wine and some form of food. Perhaps watching others working out makes me hungry... I'm empathic like that.

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  31. We floss every day... except on Friday, which we call "No-Floss Friday".

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  32. Lol, made me laugh. Here are mine:
    -When I was little, I used to exchange my cookies for my dog's bisuits. Apparently they were good, as it happened regularly.

    -I fart almost pretty much anytime I need to, unless in an elevator with others or some similar situation. But larger spaces, yep.

    PS-I also never floss, but I don't lie about it.

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  33. I feel like I'm not drinking nearly enough wine. I fart a LOT too but mostly in my car. It's my fart sanctuary.

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  34. So funny! I try NOT to fart on the treadmill at the gym only because they are too close together, but most others to not show the same courtesy!

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  35. I fart pretty much whenever I feel like it, too, but it's gotten a lot harder to do now that my 4-year-old can acknowledge that it wasn't, in fact, her. Why can't they stay littler forever?!?! ;)

    I bake dog biscuits for our neighbor's dog. Apparently, it's a good recipe as those are the only dog biscuits she'll eat. I also bake a TON of Christmas cookies every year and I take a giant tray over to the same neighbor's (along with a bag of biscuits for Bean, the dog). One year, I guess because my cookies are such a hit, their twenty-something son decided that the biscuits must be good, too, and gave one a try! Men! (I can share the recipe link if that's something that you might be interested in for Heidi - it's fun to do, especially with kids).

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  36. Farting on the treadmill is our right as Americans!! If someone sneers at me when I fart on the treadmill, I just assume that they are not real runners. Everyone knows that real runners are very in tune with all bodily functions. My dog farts a lot, too. We just blame it on her dog food. No kidding...she farts audibly about 100 times a day. She farts when she wags her tail back and forth. That was her confession. My confession is that I am a moth to a flame when it comes to stupid people on FB. If one of my FB friends says something stupid, I have to say something. I can't resist.:(

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  37. My co-workers think I'm the healthiest person at work - oatmeal or yogurt for breakfast, huge salads nearly everyday for lunch, fruit for snacks. But they don't know how my healthy eating habits go to sh* when I arrive home from work - snacking straight from a box of cereal and dipping it in almond butter or pumpkin butter, handfuls of granola at a time, tortilla chips and salsa, and this is all before dinner!

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    1. This is totally me!! I was out on a Friday getting a pizza and someone I knew saw me. They looked so relieved and said "It's comforting to know that you eat pizza."

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  38. This post really made me laugh - probably because I relate to almost every single one of them!! The Biggest Loser is good on its own, but so much better with a dish of ice cream or a glass of wine :). And yes, I doubt myself on runs, too - deep down I know I can do it, but I dread having "one of those days" or just not feeling good enough to complete it.

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  39. Confession, I love a glass of wine the night before a long run (maybe 2). Confession 2, I belong to a running group and not for nothing it is not all that. Sometimes it is weird and the people are weird but I need something to motivate me to run 20 miles without going insane. Also it helps to be able to vent about your ass hurting to whatever helpless victim happens to be running next to you at the time. I am jealous of you for being able to shove your butt outside without the help of a running group. If i could do 20 on my own with my goofy dog I would ditch the group in a hearbeat...keep running!

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  40. Come on - that's candy? I need wrappers around it to consider it candy :) haha

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  41. Confession: I had not had a dental cleaning since I was 18. I just turned 40. Gross? Just went to the dentist and he said "everything looks good, we'll clean you up and you'll be on your way". I am 40 and have never had a tooth drilled. Like you Beth, I eat candy every night in bed - and again...zero cavity mouth. What the hell? MY WIFE IS PEEVED! She wanted me to go in and find out I needed 19 root canals:)

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  42. I sometimes tell my running buddies that I ran more than I actually did (ex: I'll say I ran 15 miles when in reality I only ran 14.6 :) I round up!

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  43. I have never tried dog food, but I have tasted the treats I give my horse. They all smell so good (peppermint, butterscotch), but they do not taste nearly as good as they smell. My cats currently have prescription dry food that smells strongly of peanut butter. I'd be lying if I said I was never tempted to give it a try, but so far I haven't.

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  44. Gah, this is hilarious because just yesterday the hubs and I tried the dog's treats. They were the peanut butter kind from Trader Joes, all natural, they smelled awesome, tasted meh.

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  45. I can totally relate to every single one of those posts...except the dog food. That's gross. I don't have a dog, but if I did, I certainly wouldn't want to eat there food.

    and I NEVER put things back where they belong in the store. I stash. We are terrible people.

    I can't relate to the candy either, but I can tell you that I've found popcorn down my shirt more times than I like to admit. I also eat popcorn more often than I'd like to admit.

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  46. I never answer the door when someone rings the bell. I feel like they are interrupting my personal time. I pick my nose (and most of the time I don't try to hide it) and I drink too much wine.

    Man

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    1. Man, I sound like a real winner don't I?!

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    2. I totally pick my nose too and then I fling the boogers! Sometimes I can't wait to get in the car to do it when no one can see me!

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  47. Sometimes I don't shower for hours after a run and I sit around smelling myself!

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  48. I only watched one season of biggest loser, and I ate the whole time! That show makes me hungry!

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  49. You don't put stuff back in the right place in the supermarket if you decide you don't want it! I so despise people that do this I don't know if we can still be friends :-(

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  50. I don't know if dog food is different from cat food, but I've tried cat food several times (on dares) and it's much blander than I expect it to be. Smells better than it tastes :)

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  51. I chug milk from the gallon. All.the.time. I don't even feel bad about it. I just love milk. I drink so much so often there's no point in getting a glass. Plus you can't get a long satisfying chug from a glass. Besides, it's not like guest come over and ask for a glass of milk. If we have out of town company staying with us who might use milk, I make sure to buy a new gallon and refrain. I have some standards (some.)

    Julie

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  52. I pee in the shower (male). I don't always wash my hands after I go to the bathroom unless I 'get something on them'.

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  53. bahahaaa I totally just put things down wherever I am if I decide I don't want it!

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  54. I pick my nose and I like it.

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  55. hahah love how open you are, nice and refreshing if you ask me.

    Treadmill. guilty.

    Grocery shopping, not guilty on that one because I worked at Wegmans for 7 years.

    I always feel so lazy watching the biggest loser. Sometimes Ill do a workout while I watch and others I just lay there like a sloth.

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  56. That wine trick totally blew my mind!! I have found myself in that predicament, and with no neighbors to bail me out... So I went the construction worker's daughter approach and used a screw and the back side of a hammer.... Not the safest way but I enjoyed a nice bottle of wine that evening.

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  57. When I was in college my housemates and I put out a bowl of Kibbles'n Bits as a snack mix. Some people will eat anything after a few drinks!

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  58. I have never, ever been in a situation where I had a bottle of wine, but no corkscrew. I always have a corkscrew.

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  59. I don't floss either, and my tech always complements my gums. So... win? (Truth, I do try to start flossing about a week before my appointment just to make everything look a little better... kind of like getting a wax before going to the beach, no?)

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  60. Thanks for sharing Beth. I start runs with that same self-doubt too... and until recently it made me feel like a fake and now that I hear you say the same thing... I feel even better. Just this week during a 4 mile run, I came to the realization that running will ALWAYS be hard mentally and physically. I guess I knew that on the surface, but I had not accepted it. As I pushed through some hills that caused my pace to slow I gave myself this little talk... running is a work-out and most people don't walk away from a good work-out saying ... man that was easy... if they did everyone would do it. There will always be moments of self-doubt when you are in the middle of a good workout - just keep going.

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  61. You can take in a neighbour's mail and water their garden
    when they are away (children often seem to be more enthusiastic about doing chores in other people's homes).
    In addition to purchasing a squirrel proof bird feeder, you should position your bird feeder at least
    8 feet away from jumping off points such as a tree, pole, or roof top.
    And, if you can give them something warm to enjoy, then you will absolutely be enjoying their presence in your backyard too, everyday.


    Stop by my page: squirrel proof bird feeder plans

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