Wednesday, March 19, 2014

The Best Bra Stuffer

I’m a believer in keeping life fresh by trying new things.  The special thing is, I do not have to TRY to try new things. They just happen when I am not paying attention (like falling down the stairs on my tailbone or farting in yoga). I do admit, some things I do on purpose, but many are just a result of spacieness.

New Things:

Thing #1: I now run with things stuffed in my sports bra. Many of my shorts and shirts don’t have pockets and I don’t always carry a fuel belt or pack. For my last marathon, I ran with 5 gels in my bra, which was nice because it actually looked like I had breasts. Other things I stuff in my bra these days? Heidi’s dog tag so I can let her off leash, Shot Bloks and sometimes keys or a tampon. You could put condoms in there too if you thought you might get lucky out on the run. I don’t do that.

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Thing #2: I brushed Heidi’s teeth. I have never brushed a dog’s teeth before and it is weird. Like all dogs, she has breath that smells like a combination of turd and tuna fish, so I thought brushing her teeth might help. Thing is, the  toothpaste is beef flavor, so now her hot breath just smells like beef with undertones of turd and tuna.  Next I’m going to floss with salmon flavored Glide.

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Thing #3: I left some clothes in the closet in my hotel in Los Angeles. This is a true indication that I have too much on my plate. I have never done that before. They are sending them to me with a note that says, “Here you go, dumb ass.”

Thing #4: Today I took my son’s car through the car wash (to be nice and because he does favors for me like get Frosties when I ask). As of late, he has been “mudding,” which apparently means driving one’s car through 3 feet of mud, doing donuts, getting stuck and having to be towed out by friends.

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I am not a huge fan of this mudding thing, but as teens go you have to pick your battles, and I decided not to take this one on. I’ll save my energy and big lectures for upcoming subjects like how to not fail Spanish III, how to separate darks and colors and why he will not live in our basement until he’s 30.

Anyway, I chose a high powered car wash hoping to get all of the mud off of the under carriage. As I put the car in neutral and began the journey through the car wash tunnel, water started trickling in from above the windshield, almost like a soft stream of urine. Then suddenly, the stream became a river and water poured in all over me and  interior of the car. I was soaked. I had nowhere to go. I yelled a few choice words, most of them beginning with F and ending with UCK. When I got out, the car wash guy told me the sunroof was open about 3”.  I did not know this because the cover inside the car was closed. You can still learn new things at the ripe age of 47.

Thing #5: I went to see an old teen heart-throb. Are you old enough to remember Rick Springfield? I loved him back in the day. Jessie’s Girl, etc. I even wore Love’s Baby Soft perfume to the concert because I thought it might make him happy. Funny thing, he played this song called “Inside Sylvia” that I used to love when I was 13. I never knew then how sexual the lyrics really are (duh! just look at the title). Did you know he is 64 years old? He says he had “bad” plastic surgery when he was younger.

Okay, that’s all I’ve got in the way of new experiences for the week.

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Anything new experiences for you this week? Give me one. Just one.

What’s the last concert you saw? Did you have a teen crush? I also really liked Andrew McCarthy.

Ever stuff your bra? Never with tissue, only with gels.

SUAR

68 comments:

  1. Never a dull moment at the car wash! Picturing that makes me smile. Sorry. :)

    Heidi is the CUTEST thing!

    Sarah
    www.thinfluenced.com

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  2. I'm sure that Ken is happy you do not take condoms with you on long runs :) Ah..Jessie's Girl..and I think he was on General Hospital too :)

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  3. How do you keep the Gu's and other items from moving around in your sports bra when you run? Seems like there would be some movement and then some chafing...

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    1. Not sure. My bras are super tight so they just stay put.

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  4. The only thing holding up my stash in my sports bra is the bottom liner because I don't have a chest to do it for me either.

    Side note... I brush my dogs teeth on occasion and it creeps me out every single time I do it. Do you ever think there will be a day that we'll be putting contacts in our dogs eyes when they go blind? I can see it happening.

    ;)

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  5. As much toilet paper as I can :)

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  6. How do you not chafe like crazy when you put stuff in your run bra? I would be in tears by mile 10!!

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    1. I don't know! Nothing moves so it just works.

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    2. Even things on me that don't move chafe. I must be blessed.

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  7. The only thing I put in my sports bra while running is my glasses, if I take them off because it started raining. But I have the same question - how does putting gels in there not chafe?!

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  8. I stuffed gels in my bra once in a marathon....the corner of the foil like wrapper cut me...bad....that nite when I jumped in the shower, the pain was worse then any chafing I ever experienced

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  9. I stuffed my cell phone in my sports bra and my boob sweat drowned it. Dead. Thankfully, I had "immersion coverage" with my phone insurance and ended up getting a new one. Even more thankful that that didn't ask what exactly the immersion was!

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  10. Your dog looks really happy to have turd breath.

    I would be terrified to stuff my bra, seeing as it has given me a few "tattoos" if I don't set it up just right. I can't wear a few of mine on runs longer than 5 miles without bleeding. (that sounds really bad now that I type it out...)

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  11. LOVE your life adventures!! My new thing this past week was back to back Fight for Air Climbs (a stair-climb race benefiting the American Lung Association). I did the Climb in Chicago March 9th (180 total flights of the four Presidential Towers) and the Climb in Des Moines on the 16th (66 total flights amongst three tall buildings). (and I did a few runs in between these two events, so my legs have earned some down time LOL)

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  12. New this week...well... I beat my BQ required time by 5min & 35 seconds at Shamrock Marathon on Sunday!! My first BQ, my first marathon in almost 10 years! (and 3rd marathon ever)

    WOOT!

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    1. That is awesome! You are giving me hope for the future.

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  13. I had a strange new experience on Monday at my job as an elementary school recess supervisor when a little girl walked up to me holding her finger in the air, to which was affixed what appeared to be a large, almost neon yellow blob. She then informed me that the blob was a "booger from her nose" (what a relief that it was not a mystery booger of questionable origin!) and could I please help her remove it from her glove. We brainstormed for a bit before deciding the best course of action was to wipe it on an already very dirty snowdrift. All in a day's work ;)

    My childhood/teen crush was Harrison Ford...I was a goner after Raiders of the Lost Ark :)

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    1. Haha! Sounds like you do some great problem solving with the booger.

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  14. I can't believe he is 64....that just doesn't seem right!

    I sometimes stuff my gloves into my bra when I get too warm to keep them on. It seems to work well.

    Last concert was Bruno Mars, I took my daughter and her friend for her birthday. He puts on a great show!

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  15. You don't get gnarly chafing from holding things in your bra? Maybe my boobs are just too big for my own good! If there is anything awry with my bra, my boob skin will know it.

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    1. Maybe it really is that I have such small boobs. No chafing here.

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  16. I always stuff things in my bra - especially my phone at the gym. It's practically another pocket!

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  17. Thanks for the aroma flashback - Love's Baby Soft!

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  18. I need gels in my bra but I would need another bra to hold them in there. My new thing is I started my first blog! I hope I can be even as half as awesome as you as a blogger and runner. Thanks for the inspiration.

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  19. I chafe without putting anything in my sports bra (with the exception of my breasts). I'm not even large breasted. The very thought of putting foil packets of gel is making me dread my next shower.

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  20. I've brushed my 3 dogs teeth almost every day of their lives, I think it helps a lot, although dogs are like people and some have better teeth than others. I prefer the poultry Petrodex toothpaste to the beef, less smelly.

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  21. Love the car wash story! I also have a teenage son who goes off road... No sunroof though....and last year I dragged my husband to 3 Joan Jett concerts in three different states! She's still amazing!

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  22. OH my word the Turd Breath.

    Best. Laugh. All. Day. (Really).

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  23. I love car washes but have never done that one before. I have, however, went outside to leave and realized it rained all night and my seat was soaken wet from a cracked window - oops!

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  24. New experience this week - first brick workout. Mountain bike ride, followed by a run. I could not believe how hard running 2 miles was!! Definitely not ready for a triathlon.

    I just looked up David Cassidy to see how old he is - 63 - and he's not looking so good these days. But he was rocking in the Partridge Family days!

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  25. The car wash story could sooo be a story from my life. Love it.

    Two new things this week - First tried the socks as arm warmers trick for my half sunday and it worked perfectly. Thanks!
    Second new thing - trimming my dog's fluffy butt fur so that she doesn't poo on herself. I used to laugh at my mom for doing this to her golden because I had a lab... well now I have a fluffy butt Aussie and I cannot believe I am trimming ass hair! Ha!

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    1. I have to trim my Golden's ass hair, too! Ha!

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  26. New experience this week: I haven't done it yet, but tonight I'm going to a track workout with a local running club. I'm nervous and excited!

    Last concert I went to was Justin Timberlake - it was magical. He is also my teen (and very current) crush!!!

    I totally stuff my bra with gets on the reg.

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  27. I'm with you on Rick Springfield, he was totally my teenage crush! I just saw him in one of his 'Stripped Down' shows and it was fabulous. Such an up close and personal show....I'm crushing again. ; )

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    1. Did you see him on Californication? Apparently he was naked. Just something for you to think about today.

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    2. No, I haven't seen that...I may have to add that show to my 'too cold/icy to run outside dreadmill runing shows'. Motivation. : )

      Cindy K

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  28. Which is why I never have anything to do with a car that has a sunroof. Plus it takes off too much headroom. Spanish III is trivial. The battle you REALLY want to pick with Sam is girls. He's such a cool stud. Need I say more?

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  29. I wear 2 sports bras, for extra support and bonus storage. Nothing in there will chafe my skin. Perfect for the iphone.

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  30. I'm very chafe-prone, but I carried gels in my sports bra in a half marathon this weekend with no issues (the gels stay on the top of the boob, never below, that would kill). Bonus is they are nice and body-temperature liquidy and easy to swallow!

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  31. I can honestly say I haven't ever stuffed anything in my bra. Though I had a humiliating experience where I wish I had stashed some toilet paper in there... let's just say it had to do with runners trots and I ran the rest of the 12 miler with one less sock. HAHA!

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  32. i stuffed a tampon in my tank/bra for a race, and as I was having my picture taken for the finish line, it was popping it's little head out of the top of my tank! Priceless one! The joys of having bigguns'!
    I wear two sports bras to keep the girls in check.

    Amy P. Philly Runner.

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  33. I too am about to try to brush my dog's teeth. Just got a cleaning and the vet told us we have to do some upkeep!! Her breath however only smells of turd, so it will be easy to improve upon. Her toothpaste is "poultry" flavored. Also love stuffing things in the bra. Phone, gels, keys. Gels are so much better warm and squishy!!!

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  34. I usually put my ID in my bra and at the gym I will put my phone in there with headphones coming out because I don't feel like taking it out of its Otterbox case and putting it into an arm band. This has ceased temporarily however because I am pregnant (twins!) and my boobs have actually grown too large to fit all that! I wish they would stay this way, but I know that is doubtful. I will miss them when they are gone.
    Last concert I saw: Justin Timberlake. Next concert I am seeing: Death Cab for Cutie, 4-6 weeks post partum (hoping that is not a mistake).

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  35. It seems like you really like stuffing your bra but in case you change your mind, I fell in love with this Flip Belt last year. It doesn't ride up or down and holds lots of stuff. I actually forget I have it on most of the time. If you want to check it out: http://flipbelt.com/

    Anything new experiences for you this week? Give me one. Just one. I haven't actually gone through the experience yet but I registered for the RNR NOLA half for January 2015. I'm being smart about it (for once) and I'm going to train for my first full marathon starting in September. If I feel comfy about going through with it I have until the end of Nov to upgrade to a full. I've never been to NOLA so I'm pretty excited.

    What’s the last concert you saw? I saw the tour from the NBC show "The Sing Off" a few weeks ago. It was great!

    Did you have a teen crush? Mine was Ralph Macchio.

    Ever stuff your bra? Nope. I've got way too much going on in there as it is.

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  36. Jeeping is the best! My son is 19 and has his own and goes on (Jeep) runs with us. If your son ever needs pals to go with, we have a great family-oriented group which includes three awesome 19-year-old boys. (We're in Westminster)

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  37. This post just made my day for some reason. I may start stuffing my bra...i've been wondering where i am going to put my gels once it warms up (will it ever) and i dont have my beloved running jacket with pockets.

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  38. Starting with F and ending with UCK - classic!

    No new experiences this week, but I am reading about content marketing and have thought of your blog numerous times. You are doing everything right (in case you didn't know that!).

    John Travolta was my crush and I got to meet him once. Recently I was trying to remember where I might have put his autograph, but I have no idea. Patrick Swayze was right up there too.

    No need to stuff the bra. Putting cell phones in your bra seems like a bad idea since there are studies showing that it can increase your chances of breast cancer. Just sayin'.

    Last small concert was Patty Larkin last night at the Crested Butte Center for the Arts. Last big concert was Kenny Chesney, Eric Church, Eli Young & Kacey Musgraves at Mile High - awesome!

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    1. Wow, who knew I was doing everything right. What does that mean? I'm just curious...I was a John Travolta lover too. Especially Danny in Grease.

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    2. Danny in Grease was the start of the crush for me for sure!

      Basic stuff probably - photos on every post, asking people to answer questions, being yourself/having a consistent voice, making it easy for people to subscribe, etc.

      I have a website for business with a blog, but I haven't been very consistent with my postings and I'm trying to make a plan. My goals for blogging are different from yours, but it all starts with subscribers and getting people to want to read what you write. Clearly you have that figured out! :)

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  39. This week I discovered that there is an age that every woman reaches when she looks much better without makeup on than she does with. I have reached this age, and WHEW, I'm relieved. :-)

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  40. Have you heard of underfuse (http://www.underfuse.com)? I sponsored them on kickstarter but haven't tried the product yet!

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  41. I've never stuffed gels, but I do carry "the world's loudest whistle" in my running bra. I read "Wild" and the girl carried one with her to scare off bears and mountain lions (it worked).

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  42. I LOVED Rick Springfield too - and saw him in concert back in his hey day. I try to see Def Leppard when ever they're on tour around here . . . love those British boys!

    I was trying to keep things like chapstick, tissues and my cell phone in my sports bra, but I got tired of looking like I was digging for gold trying to get them back out, so I asked for a Flipbelt for Christmas. It's great! Amazing how much you can get in there and it never bounces around!

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  43. I carried sports beans in my bra until I got a little cut on my chest from the packaging. I do clip my iPod nano to my sports bra though. I refuse to buy running clothes that do not have pockets and wear a belt for my phone.

    We saw Rick Springfield in Las Vegas in the EFX show about 10 years ago. It hard to believe he is that old. Last concert I saw was Big Time Rush with my DD. I didn't go to my first real concert until the ripe old age of 33 - it was Green Day and it was awesome.

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  44. I always put my keys in my bra... They end up all sweaty, but it's better than them falling out of my pocket!

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  45. Brooks has the best shorts with three, count them THREE, pockets. I paid $45 for them at my local running store and recently found the same pair in a different color in a TJMaxx clearance rack for $15. Score!

    As for new experiences... My almost 5 year old announced the other night that she couldn't eat the meat on her place because "that beef was once a pig and I can't eat that." She has suddenly decided eating meat is morally reprehensible.

    As for crushes... lusted after Rob Lowe big time as a kid.

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    1. Oh yes, how could I forget about Rob Lowe. One of my favorite movies of all time = About Last Night.

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  46. I have way too much in my sports bras already; definitely no room for chews in there. :-)

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  47. I wear 2 sports bras to keep the bounce to an absolute minimum, and have found that the space between the 2 is ideal for storing all kinds of stuff.... Most notably my iphone (in a sweat-proof case). I know, I know...... people keep telling me that will cause breast cancer. I decided to do my research on the topic (working in health care, I am always thinking evidence-based) and there is no link. The only one I found claiming this link was Dr. Oz-- and he also claims that if I spend $5 on this "one weird trick" I will never have wrinkles or abdominal fat again. *insert skeptical face here*

    I loved Rick Springfield, but I have to admit that my biggest crush was on Simon Lebon. I was going to marry him. Any other Duranies out there?

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  48. On the subject of bra stuffage... I stopped boob feeding baby #4 months ago but conveniently hold on to my box of nursing pads. When it's cold, they make for great RT guards. I did get lucky on my run the other day and found a quarter so I immediately tucked it in for safe keeping. However, the lack of cleavage made for bad storage so it fell right out the bottom. Oh well, maybe next time it'll be a dollar bill and will stick to my sweaty chest.

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  49. You have the most hilarious stories. I love the sunroof adventure.

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  50. I just found your blog...it was like finding $20 in the pocket of the jeans you haven't worn in a while. SO AMAZING! You crack me up and just make my day :-) I mean, Rick Springfield???? Who WASN'T IN LOVE with him???? Sigh......

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  51. You should check out Coeur Sports if you like hiding things in your bra. They have a hidden pocket in theirs... http://www.coeursports.com/products/chinese-new-year-sports-bra TriBella in Denver should be carrying them soon (if not already).

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  52. Hm...I need to try stuffing my bra with snacks. It would mean a lighter fuel belt!

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  53. I have stuffed my bra, but not the running one. The VS one, with cameras, iphones, and all sorts of electronics ;) when going through customs in Argentina... (not all at once!) I'm a 34B but I always say to my husband "if I wore a 34 DD I could bring a TV! haha!

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  54. Your post just made my day :) Thank you very much.

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