I truly think that you can tell how well people know you by the gifts that they give you. This past week I received three gifts that I know you will agree are very appropriate for someone like me (and if you read this blog, probably appropriate for someone like you).
The Princess Wipes:
I do believe that the invention of the wipe has been, historically, the most genius expression of human creativity (well, the sticky note is pretty clever too). Initially devised to clean an infant’s bottom of feces and urine, the wipe is now widely depended on by runners everywhere.
Need a quick clean up? Use 5-6 wipes to hit the major sweat regions: pits, crotch, cleavage, crack. Trusted a fart while running and shouldn’t have? Your wipes are there to tide you over until you can get home and do the “real” clean up. You don’t have to use the Princess Wipes, but they may just make you feel a tad more dainty and Kate Middleton-ish as you are cleaning yourself up (tip: keep in console of your car!).
The Hand Sanitizer:
Please note that you do not have to have touched your genitals to use this sanitizer. That is just a suggestion. The hand sanitizer is a necessity for anyone who is around excessive germs. As a runner, you are likely exposed to many bodily fluids (yours and perhaps others if things get messy). Having a sanitizer at your disposal to decrease bacteria on your skin is essential. In actuality, you could combine the Princess Wipes and the Hand Sanitizer and never have to shower or bathe again. No one would know the better (another item to keep in console of your car).
The Grown Up Sippy Cup:
For a long time now, I have felt very cheated. You see, I was born in the 60s (1967 to be exact), prior to the invention of the sippy cup. I was part of a generation who walked around with cherry Kool-Aid spilled down the front of their shirt and dried milk spots on their Lee jeans. At the age of two and three we were too cool and old to drink out of bottles, but too young and careless to consume beverages out of real cups.
As an adult, I have now found some redemption. No more careless wine spills down the front of my blouse. No need to put my good quality wine (i.e., Woodbridge $9.99 for the big bottle) in a red Solo cup when I walk the dog. I now feel that my life has come full circle. (btw, you can find this cup HERE).
Yes, I do sit on my steps and drink wine
What did I learn about myself by writing this post? That if you give me a keyboard and a subject, I can write about anything.
As a runner/triathlete, what do you keep in your car? Clif Bars, gels, wipes, lotion, shorts, hand sanitizer, gloves, gum, Motrin, Altoids, suncreen, lip balm, tampons.
Best “personal” gift you have received lately? I have also enjoyed the book given to me recently - The Kama Pootra - 52 Mind Blowing Ways to Poop. An example (don’t try this at home):
SUAR
Saw you duking it out on the treadie this morning at the Y again! As I mentioned when we met, come join my friend's kick arse spin class there on Tuesdays at 9. You will not regret it. Hill repeats today -- I am cooked! Hope your training is going well. You looked super speedy this morning. Better than out in this awful wind. :/
ReplyDeleteHey! I thought I might see you there! I was doing 400s. Brutal. Would love to join you for a spin class sometime.
DeleteNext time I see you there, I will accost you while you're hammering so you can go flying off the back of the belt, because it's so easy to talk and run (hard) on the treadmill. Not. Hope our paths cross again soon! :)
DeleteBaby wipes are THE BOMB. Seriously. They can clean anything.
ReplyDeleteThis. Post. Is. Awesome.
ReplyDeleteSomething to blow my nose with is a must. I sneeze uncontrollably sometimes after a hard workout and my nose is a mess.
I have three of those sippy cups. No....I don't have a problem.
ReplyDeleteI am not a hand-sanitizer person but I might have to change that just so I can get that bottle. I may also want to give one to my coworker, who is TOTALLY a hand-sanitizer person.
ReplyDeleteAlso the wine sippy cup is brilliant and I don't know why I don't already have seven.
So funny! Yes wipes are amazing for runners:) Like a shower in a package;)
ReplyDeleteI just started reading your blog and this post cracked me up! I thought I was the only one who loved baby wipes (and other varieties of wet naps) for adult situations. I'm having a crappy day... thanks for making me laugh!
ReplyDeleteAlways in the car: handkerchief, napkins (dinner, not sanitary), bottle opener (3 actually), couple changes of clothes (running, shorts/shirt/casual pub, cool weather cover), Cliff/energy bars, sunscreen, lipbalm, assorted bike gear. Occasional cooler of beer (post-ride rehydration, you know....)
ReplyDeleteI have that wine "glass"...it's great for the beach haha!
ReplyDeletemust.have.the.kama.poopra. Ongoing joke with my dad - we exchange poop/fart gifts for every holiday. Do you know they actually make fart Easter cards?
ReplyDeletelove my adult sippy cup. use on our boat all summer.
ReplyDeleteI feel as though that poop book would be perfect for me to give for a gift!
ReplyDeleteI don't think I actually have any "runners" items in my car.......oh. I have a nasty towel that I've sat on too many times until I can get home and shower.
Why did I not think to use baby wipes post-race?? That is genius. Note to self: Buy baby wipes before Saturday.
ReplyDeleteGah. I feel like such a noob.
Speaking of gifts for yourself, as soon as I read the title I thought of you. Alert, there is a discount code!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.discombobulatedrunning.com/2014/04/i-just-made-you-say-underwear-panty.html
I'm OBSESSED with that adult sippie cup, haha. I am dying. I need one!
ReplyDeleteI can't believe that book actually exists!!
ReplyDeleteI have wipes and tissue in my car, everything else I'd like to have I can't because it gets too hot (NUUN, Clif bars, sunblock, lip balm, anti chafe).
There are ALWAYS gloves (even though it's about to be hot & humid for months), hand sanitizer (I am a health care professional), lip balm, spoons, a head lamp, a spi belt, and usually Tylenol. And let me just say, Poo~pourri is a brilliant product if you are sharing a hotel room with some one you don't know very well.
ReplyDeleteWith product names like Poo LaLa, Deja Poo, Crap Shooter, etc, I'm sure they will appeal to your sense of humor: http://www.poopourri.com/product-cat/all/?gclid=CKXrq-mhh74CFYFhMgodbR0ADQ
DeleteLOL! You really made me smile. I loved the pictures too.
ReplyDeleteGreat Mother's Day and birthday gift ideas! Than you ....
ReplyDeleteIn my runner's belt I have a baggie of a couple wipes, chap stick, $2 (or maybe $1, depends if it's the beginning or end of the pay period), a couple of hard candies (sugar requirement). I'm set!
There's almost always three "gym" bags in my car --- running, yoga, and gym gym (yes, I need three different ones) ... so I don't really need to stock stuff in my car per say, since I'm carrying around all this other gear. Nothing like being prepared... right???
<3 your blog, always full of great advice!
Omg I need to get that book for my friend. she would die. :)
ReplyDeleteDo the wipes dry out in the heat of a car?
ReplyDeleteMine don't as long as they are sealed.
DeleteAgreed that the wipe and the post-it note are great inventions. My favorite invention, however, is the ziploc bag. Those are seriously the best things ever, we go through so many of these. They can be used to carry a few wipes (I have been grateful for that prior to running as a bathroom emergency happened) (also helpful to have if you have children and are going out to eat somewhere).
ReplyDeleteMy question on the hand sanitizer - if your hands are filthy (from touching your genitals or elsewhere), who is cleaning the bottle to pick it up before you use the gel inside? Is anyone sanitizing the sanitizer bottle - arrghhhh!
That book? If anyone is doing this - I am so glad I do not have to clean your bathroom, eww. My kids and my husband do enough to dirty it up- can't imagine someone trying to do experimental elimination in any other way.
"Trusetd a fart while running and you shouldn't have?"
ReplyDeleteSo hilarious! I love this blog and your humor.
Love the post. We all need those princess wipes for post run clean up! You're very funny glad I found your blog!
ReplyDeleteI dig the "pinkie out" in the photos. Elegant!
ReplyDeleteHahaha!! Did not even realize I was doing that! That's how elegant I am.
DeleteIf there's one thing I've learned from having 3 kids it's that wipes save lives! damn farts can't be trusted ;)
ReplyDeleteI bought at 6 pack of those wine sippy cups for myself, my mom, my aunt, and some friends. They are pretty much the best thing ever!
ReplyDeletei think the last time i was in our car was a week ago or more? i don't keep anything in it on purpose other than sunscreen and bug repellant. i work from home, swim at home (sea), bike from home and run from home.
ReplyDeleteI pretty much always have a bag in the car with wipes, socks, sneakers, sports bra, shorts, tank top, hand sanitizer, a few gels and some other things. Never know when A. the run mood strikes or B. need some 'freshening' up.
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