Tuesday, April 8, 2014

9 Things To Know Before You Marry A Runner

When Ken and I got married almost 19 years ago, neither of us ran. In fact, we had skillfully perfected the art of sitting on the couch, drinking beer and watching Melrose Place (well, I watched, he made fun of  it). Over time, I became a runner, then Ken did. The good thing about that is that we can find common ground in the odd/annoying/predictable things that runners do.

That being said, if I was single and contemplating marrying a RT (Runner Type), there are some things I would surely want to know before hand.

1. Disgusting Habits Are Common Place. You may think you know your RT very well, That is until you witness them during or after a run. Your RT will blow snot out of their nose, fart, have extreme BO, and often sprint desperately for the bathroom. This is all very normal in the running world, but may be slightly unattractive, disgusting and unromantic to the running outsider (see this post called, “8 Raunchy Things Runners Do and Why”).

2. There Will Be Laundry. Tons Of It. If you marry an RT there will be double the amount of laundry you are used to.  Running is messy and tends soil clothing and make it stink. This means the laundry basket will be piled high with sports bras, shorts, tights, and socks. You can even expect to find the occasional empty GU packet or used band aid (nipple chafing anyone?) that gets inadvertently washed in the washing machine.

3. Annoying Acronyms Will Arise. If you marry an RT, you will likely be confused during pillow talk and happy hours if you do not learn such acronyms as BQ, DNF, DNS, PR, DFL, LSD, VO2, and PW. A sample sentence your runner type might throw at you could be, “I attempted to BQ and get a PR, but ended up getting a PW when I came in DFL.” (See definitions HERE)

4. Trauma Will Come From Injury. Most likely at some point your RT will become injured and will be unable to run. This will likely result in crying, anger, depression and the RT’s urge to punch other runners they see outside. Do not take this personally. You can educate yourself about this traumatic time in a runner’s life by reading this post about the Stages of Running Injuries.

5. You Better Like To Ride Your Bike Slow. If you marry an RT, and especially if your RT is training for a half or full marathon, you may very likely be asked to be their support crew on their long runs (i.e., LSDs). This could most definitely involve riding your bike alongside of your RT for 20 miles at 6 mph (that is 200 minutes or 3 hours, 20 minutes) while handing them GUs, water bottles, Kleenex, tampons and toilet paper.

6. If You Have a Foot Fetish, You Are In Trouble. Your RT will have disgusting feet. They will be covered in blisters and bunions. Several toe nails may be missing. You might even be asked to rub these feet on occasion, so be prepared (rubber gloves are helpful).

7. Let’s Hope Absence Does Make the Heart Grow Fonder. Should you chose to forgo the biking alongside of your RT, just know that he/she will be missing for hours at a time during long runs. You may often feel like you have been widowed and you may even find yourself jealous of running. This is completely natural and should subside during periods of taper, recovery and injury.

8. Running Is Expensive. Your RT will spend a lot of money on running crap. You may think that running only requires shoes, shorts and a shirt, but you are naive. There will be watches, race entry fees, fancy shoes, gels, gym memberships, coaches, PT appointments, massages and fuel belts, just for starters.

9. Vacations Are Planned Around Races – If you marry an RT, there will inevitably come a time when you are discussing taking an upcoming vacation and the RT starts to suggest vacation destinations based on his/her upcoming dream races. An example, “Yes baby cakes, I know we have talked about going to Hawaii for awhile, but there’s this marathon in San Francisco where firefighters give you Tiffany boxes at the finish line, and well, I was kinda thinking we could go there instead.”

These nine points are in no way meant to dissuade you from marrying a runner. It is good, however, to know what you’re getting yourself into. Who knows, maybe you will join in and become an RT yourself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Can you relate to any of these? Do you have any to add to the list?

Does your spouse/significant other run?

SUAR

43 comments:

  1. I'm single, but I wouldn't mind marrying a RT! Two runners in a household may be sweatier, smellier, and have more dirty laundry, but at least we'll understand each other ;)

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  2. hahah omg I love ALL of these!! I hope when me and my bf get married that he will ride his bike alongside me :) Ive def had my brother do that for me before! The foot thing is so true too...kinda nervous to go get a pedicure this weekend because my toes are pretty bad!

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  3. My husband didn't marry a runner, but he's married to one now. It has been a love/hate kind of thing for him. He loves the calmer me, the fitter me, but doesn't always love the races! Haha, our last vacation I ran a half and he initially wasn't happy. But he rose to the occasion and even was at the finish line, snapping pix. I take what I can get.

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  4. For the longest time I was the only one in my marriage who ran, causing many conflicts rooted in his feelings of being neglected and ignored. Then I made him start running with me more. Problem solved!

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  5. P.s. That marathon with the firefighters and Tiffany boxes? Totally legit "vacation".

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  6. hahahaa this is such an accurate list!! Every time my husband brings up visiting family or some vacation I ask him if there are races around that time..it makes it more fun!!!! And more worth the time off of work!

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  7. I did a 3 hour trail run last week where a gal won a belt for having the biggest fart during the run.

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  8. Wow completely accurate and I am the runner! Husband can relate 100%

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  9. I'm the runner, but my husband is a cyclist (200 miler this Saturday and his gear costs a LOT more) so he doesn't complain. We celebrated our anniversary a couple years ago with him riding a double metric century one day and me running a marathon the next.

    And tell baby cakes Hawaii has several awesome marathons, you just need to plan for the right week!

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  10. I always think your made up acronyms are the best! :)

    Miss you!!!

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  11. This is awesome! I'm getting married in June and my fiancee is so supportive of my running but I better let him know what he's really in for marrying a runner! ;)
    Karen @karenlovestorun

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  12. Hysterically TRUE!!!!!! Love this!

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  13. I can so relate to ALL of these and my husband does not run. It's not fun (at times) to be married to someone who is not a RT when you are a huge RT. I ran when we met but it didn't seem to be a big deal. Now it is. He hates when me and my RT friends talk about running for hours on end and he especially hates the GI discussions and snot rockets. Oh well.

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  14. This is SOOO true!! I laughed at the acronyms, because I've gotten to the point where, if I see a new one, I can figure it out easily based on context.

    My poor husband...I wasn't a runner until we got married. He was not at all prepared for what he signed up for!

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  15. The foot fetish thing had me laughing so hard! Luckily, my hubby does not have a foot fetish. He is more of an "butt" guy... which is perfect because I definitely have a runner's butt!

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  16. The wife and I met through running and have been married for 23 years. Your list is dead on but you forgot one important thing, the comparison/competition of weekly mileage. Just like we all race the person on the treadmill next to you, there is a daily comparison/competition for mileage.

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  17. I love this - Everything about this is SO true - I was laughing out loud the entire time I was reading this! I always say, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. So, now my husband runs, and he understands all about the beauty of running... and the not so pretty.

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  18. I loved when I took my first 20 mile run and had my husband ride his bike with me for support. He's an occasional rider, so when we hit 10 miles he got off and walked his bike while I kept running! He finished the rest of it by alternating walking his bike and riding it.
    He's run a couple of 5Ks and does mud and zombie runs with his friends, but he's too competitive with me, so I'm pretty happy he doesn't run with me.

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  19. OMG, I'm holding my sides with tears running down my face! Especially over the part about feeling widowed. I'm so stealing this one!!!

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  20. Yes, yes, YES! I started running late in life, so I wasn't a runner when my husband and I met--far from it, and he had no intentions of runnning. However, when I was doing C25K through the neighborhood to start, he didn't want me to go alone and brought the dog along, figuring he'd walk while I did my run segments. Problem was, the dog saw me running and wanted to run, so he had to trot along too. He got sucked into running and discovered he kinda liked it. Now we run together; we always say it's the dog's fault he became a runner, but he's happy about it. Much nicer than me running alone, although it means there's rarely someone on the sidelines to take pictures or cheer me on. :)

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  21. I've never dated a runner. I've wanted to, thinking that it could be an activity we could do together, since it's such a big part of my life. However, arguments have come while on vacation when I wanted to get to bed so I could get up for my run, rather than staying out drinking!

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  22. Definitely relate to all of these. Thankfully, my husband is understanding. He does run some but not much. He is a cyclist (as am I) so that is a whole other set of madness.

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  23. I've only recently started running- was not athletic in any way prior to discovering my new found love/obsession for it- so far several of the things don't apply to me- (but I'm sure they will eventually) and luckily I've been with my husband for eight years this week (married 2)- he however, used to be a professional motorcross racer and athlete- he would run/cycle all the time etc- so he is no stranger to habits such as these and as such I feel tends to be a bit more understanding of me as I take on this new adventure- plus I think he's more proud and excited that I've found something I'm passionate about and thoroughly enjoy that's pushing me to be a better person that it outweighs everything else :-)

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  24. These are funny! I can honestly say my husband is nowhere NEAR a runner, but it must be pretty interesting!

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  25. I think you need to write one about being friends with an RT. None of my friends are serious runners, so they can get a little sick of hearing about this race or that training run.... And they deal with me constantly turning them down when they ask me to do stuff. (Go out for lunch? Nope- long run that day. Out on a Saturday night for drinks? Are you kidding? I ran 20 miles today- I will be in bed by 8pm! Etc......)
    My hubby doesn't run, but he is super supportive of my running. My friends, on the other hand, are getting a bit sick of it :-/

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  26. 10. Effort, time and planning will go into running, training and races that will not be put into anything else to the same degree, including you and your family. If you are not an RT, expect to live separate lives.
    I didn't marry a runner, he became one.

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  27. My husband is not a runner, but he is incredibly supportive of my runs and is almost always at the finish line of my races (except this year, when I beat my previous half marathon time by nearly 10 minutes so he hadn't gotten to the finish line yet when I went through). We are both mountain bikers, so there is lots and lots of laundry, disgusting habits (snot rockets from the front seat of a tandem bike are not a good thing for the person on the back), and vacations are usually planned around mountain biking. This year, we are taking a family vacation to Yellowstone, including my son and mother-in-law, because I'm running the Yellowstone Half Marathon.

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  28. The laundry is a killer. The amount, smell and how quickly the clothes wear out are a killer on the budget.

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  29. We don't plan vacations around running - because I don't run in races, I just run because I like being on my own and destressing. But I do always run when we are on vacation. Which means that hubby has to sacrifice suitcase room for my running gear. Which he doesn't love.

    Also, hubby finally had to give in to my incessant nagging about getting a dog. When a crazy man started running around my 'hood hitting women over the head with a hammer, hubby started to say things like "I don't really want you out there running by yourself". To which I responded "Well, you have two choices. You can come with me. Or we can get a big dog." Since he doesn't run, I got a big, loud, barky dog. And I'm not sure I ever would have convinced him that we should get one if I weren't a runner.

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  30. Well now that you lay it all out like this, I guess it makes sense why I'm single! ;-)

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  31. We're both runners and we're getting married this year in NYC after he's running his second NYC Marathon. He's running a lot and during weeks only at mornings and luckily he's already home before I wake up :) At Sundays when he's usually running 26miles I go for my 10 and still have time to myself which I really like :)) Now I just can't imagine living with anyone but him... we'll see in 10, 20 yeas, ha. Greetings from Europe!

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  32. Ha! I should send this to my husband. Especially the injured bit...and that running is expensive...

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  34. So true!! I laughed out loud at quite a few of these. :)

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