Family
Occupation
Recreation
Dreams
So, I'll tell you about some of these things tonight at happy hour and don't be offended if I don't ask you one f*cking thing about yourself. Because it's my blog, dammit.
If we were at happy hour together, I would tell you that running and I are having a true love affair lately. No, we don't make love in the middle of the trail, but we do connect and feel good together. Part of this is that I'm not forcing it - I'm just going with what feels good. It's not all perfect and it's not all fast, but it's working. This is me running. Because you've never seen a picture of me running before.
If we were on our second drink, I would tell you that I love doing hospice volunteer work, but this week it kind of got to me and I just didn't want to be with dying people. As much as it is uplifting to be with Heidi and to make someone feel better, the weight of everything kind of got me down. I know there will be weeks like this. Weeks where witnessing someone suffering in their last days and trying to comfort their loved ones who are watching them dying is just too much. This week was too much. I will take a break next week and come back ready to do the job and to move beyond my own discomfort. It truly is a privilege to be with people and their families in their last days, hours and moments. I hope the same grace will be given to me someday. Wow, that was heavy.
Speaking of taking a break...if we were at happy hour I would tell you I am going to Vegas tomorrow with my two dear friends, Clair and Erika, and there is no better therapy. Well, yes, running is therapy and so is wine -and then there is REAL therapy, but these two girls give me so much. We spoil ourselves staying in a nice suite at the Wynn, laying poolside drinking $20 gin coolers and losing way too much playing blackjack. And, it's one of my favorite times of the year.
On the High Roller above Vegas - 2015, Are my armpits hairy? |
If we were ordering a third round I'd tell you that I'm trying to read books because I love books, but I always fall asleep. Maybe I am old. Or maybe I spend too much time at happy hour. Recent books I've read, you ask? You - captivating, somewhat disturbing, When Breath Becomes Air - such a must read - a memoir. Just read it. The Under Ground Railroad - you can guess what this is about.
If we were finishing our third drink I would probably disclose to you that I've been reading through old journals of mine (like from 8th grade) and I am surprised I've turned out as well as I have. Sample (with my comments in red):
Jan. 18, 1980 (13 years old; almost 14)
"Hi! Have I got a lot to tell you! First - boys- I like Eugene (who names their kid Eugene?) and everyone was telling me he was gonna ask me (ask you what? Why you like him even though his name is Eugene?) which turned out o be a bunch of bullshit (wow, language) cause the next day he ignored me. But meanwhile Thad (we are Facebook friends now) has been giving me all these flattering comments like 'your hair looks good' (which it definitely did NOT look good - I've seen the pictures) which he never does to anyone. So I got the feeling he was gonna as me (ask me what? Where I get my hair cut?) The next day on the bus he came and sat by me and he told me once again my hair looked good (what's with the hair?) he said also he wasn't going to let me get off the bus but he did (I should have filed a restraining order). I know he's gonna ask me! Dammit! (language!)What the hell am I gonna say? I'm not at school today cause I have...ahem..diarrhea GROSS. (Some things definitely don't change)."
So basically when I was 13 going on 14 I was boy crazy, had great hair, had a trash mouth and had diarrhea. Hope that gives you some insight into a younger me.
Well, the bar is shutting down and I've got to go! Nice talking at you. Remember FORD.
Did you keep a journal when you were younger? Do you keep one now? I kept one diligently from the age of 8 (yes!) until about 35. I have volumes. But I don't keep one anymore
Favorite book you've read lately?
What's one thing you would tell me at happy hour?
Vegas - love or hate it?
SUAR
I've kept a diary since I was 10, though my blog became my journal when I was 25...I still miss the privacy of a journal, but I love that a blog makes me put in the effort of writing reasonably well.
ReplyDeleteOoh! Love that top you wore in Vegas! I'm always looking for fun tops like that for boobless ladies. Sorry to see it's from 2015 but can you recommend another?
I got this one at Forever 21 I thing. Am I too old to shop there?
DeleteNEVER. Becoming a woman of a certain age means you shop wherever you damn well please.
DeleteYep. And wear whatever I want even if "fifty year olds aren't supposed to wear that."
DeleteLoved this. Good chuckle with my coffee. I think we would make good running partners. I live in Wyoming, though. It's just that we both have a weird sense of humor (I think I just called you weird) and I am old. Oh but don't worry I run much better alone. I've never wrote in a diary for more than two days. Maybe that's what my blog has become. Have a great time in Vegas!
ReplyDeleteI'm a runner and mother and hospice care provider....it does get to be a lot. Your heart is full and when it breaks, keep breathing and take care of yourself. I love your blog and ridiculously awesome humor, sooo relate!
ReplyDeleteI graduated from high school in 1980. Ha! I kept a journal from my junior year of high school until maybe a year after graduation and that was it. I've not read anything lately, but I usually just like easy fun books. I like Mary Kay Andrews' books. If we were at happy hour I would tell you that after 7 years of running and at age 55, running is getting harder for me. As for Vegas, I'm not a fan, but since my son lives just outside of Vegas (since 2014) then I like it long enough to get from the airport to his and daughter in law's house. Hahaha!!! Since I live in Tennessee I don't get out there as often as I would like.
ReplyDeleteWe just got a new cat from the Humane Society to keep company with the one we had found as a teeny stray last summer. Kids decided to rename him Eugene. The 8 and 7 year olds. He is on my chest right now and he told me to tell you your hair looks good. He may just ask you...
ReplyDeleteHAHA!!!!!!!! That comment made me lol. I think Eugene is a better cat name than kid name.
DeleteWhere do you volunteer at Hospice? I know there is nice place in Loveland. Wondered if Longmont has such a place. Have a great trip. I am reading the Stars are Fire by Anita Shreve- I like the author and it takes place in Maine- a place I love.
ReplyDeleteI volunteer at TRU Hospice. They provide hospice are through our area - Boulder/Weld, etc and have a care center in Boulder.
DeleteYou have a blog which is like putting your journal out there for the world to read! And eventually a blog becomes just like those childhood journals (not yours but mine and everyone else's), where you have huge gaps between entries that start out apologizing for not writing in a long time. (Yes, I frequently apologized to my diary.) Then you (not you but everyone else) just stop writing altogether.
ReplyDeleteAnd then, after months, maybe years, you start writing again. Except, you finally realize you don't have to apologize to anyone that life got too busy to write. Not that I know... ;-)
DeleteNow you made me want to pull out my "diary" from when I was 12. Going to do that...
ReplyDeleteI've kept diaries sporadically my entire life, but haven't written in them much the past few years. I now write sporadically on my blog (speaking of things that don't change much). When I go back and read my journals from my teen years, I can't help but roll my eyes.
ReplyDeleteBest book I've read recently was Come Sundown by Nora Roberts. She's been my favorite author for years and this is her newest novel. It's set on a Montana ranch, which is an automatic win as far as I'm concerned.
At happy hour, I'd mention that I'm still celebrating the completion of my first marathon, less than two weeks ago!
My old diary was destroyed by Hurricane Katrina floodwaters... probably for the best!!
ReplyDeleteLove Vegas! It's been a long time though.
ReplyDeleteI will check out that memoir. I just picked up Running the Rift - it's about a runner from Rwanda trying to be their first Olympic runner. It sounds good - hope it is!
Hello, I don't keep a diary. I would find it too weird to come back in a year, five years, ten years and read thoughts. They would probably be too inward focused and miss the big picture of what is happening to others. But the real reason I wanted to post is I used your FORD acronym today and it was so helpful. Normally I get stuck on one topic with new people and it was great to branch out the conversation to new things. Finally, I plugged in my Kindle in hopes of finding a good book to read. Recently finished a Man called Ove. Just behind a few years. Hope all is well.
ReplyDeleteThere is a woman that I often see running in my neighborhood who looks just like you. Every time I see her I think, "there goes Beth."
ReplyDeleteAnd I am a social worker too.
Rock on.
Really?? Maybe it is me.
DeleteHospice RN here, yep some weeks are pretty heavy and those weeks I am so thankful for my trail running group. They always seem to make things a little lighter. Thanks for being a volunteer. There are definetely not enough of you!
ReplyDeleteI've definitely thought about looking into doing hospice social work, but am worried it might be too intense for me
DeleteThanks for the information you brought to us. They are very interesting and new. Look forward to reading more useful and new articles from you!
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Deletenice photos.. :D
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