Friday, June 16, 2017

Utah Valley Half Marathon Race Report (2017) & My New Swimsuit

I ran a race last weekend, but something tells me it didn't really happen unless I blog about it.

Have you noticed I haven't been blogging as much? I didn't think so. Hard to imagine you don't live and breathe by my blog. Life gets in the way. Like work and teenagers and dogs and cats and running and cleaning up the soy sauce that spilled all over the fridge that no one else seems to want to clean up.

Then there is a part of me that wonders if I've jumped the shark here on this blog (< that's an old expression from Happy Days, which only old people like me know. Click on it if you need to know what it means you young shit).

I mean, I think I've written about every running angle possible on this blog from soiling oneself to Ironman reports to how one's period affects their running. And, I'm not paid to blog. Ad Sense stopped paying me a while ago. I think they thought I was too raunchy. Well, screw them. PENIS! BUTTHOLE! And, I don't love sponsored posts. So, there you have it. I'm blog poor.

But, I hang onto this little corner of the Internet because I like you all - my few readers who have stuck around. I like sharing with you. And I like your comments. And I love to write.

Back to the race report.

Pain you Enjoy. Brilliant.

The folks at the Utah Valley Marathon were kind enough to comp me an entry this year. The race is in Provo (about a half hour south of Salt Lake) and I've never been there, so I envisioned a family road trip (because yes everything has to revolve around my running and racing. Remember who cleaned up the soy sauce you spilled?). We spent a night and day in SLC. We learned a lot about Utah liquor laws. Such as, you can't sit at a bar and have a drink without ordering food.

The second night we stayed in Orem outside of Provo. I ate a grilled cheese and fries from Culver's in the hotel room, drank some wine, put in earplugs and a washcloth over my eyes and promptly went to bed at 8:30 pm while the rest of the family partied (by partied I mean watched The 40 Year Old Virgin and ate Goldfish).

My 3:15 a.m. wake up call sucked (duh) but I am tough and I managed. The way this race works is you get on a school bus in Provo that drives you 13.1 miles to the start line up the Provo Canyon. I love the bus ride because the whole time you get to think about how long it takes to just DRIVE 13.1 miles, let alone run it. I sat on the wheel well of the bus because...well, you know why, it's thrilling. And, the seat beside me was the only empty seat on the bus because I have no friends.

Got the start, in the dark, at 4:45 a.m. and found a spot by a fire. I loved that they had dozens of campfires going because in my mind there is nothing worse than being cold (or not being able to order a beer in a bar without ordering food).

I choked down half of a banana (very hard for me to eat before races), dropped some kids at the pool and seeded myself at the start around the 1:50 pace group. I didn't bring any fuel because the race info said there would be Clif Shot gels at mile 6 (tragic foreshadow) and I usually take in one gel during a half, so perfect. 6:00 a.m. sharp, and we were off.

There's me. Right side. I'm going so fast I'm barely in the picture.


The course was gorgeous as we ran down the canyon, alongside a river. The sun was just starting to come up and temps were in the 50's. I kept thinking what ideal running conditions these were. And downhill to boot!

I was clicking off 8:15 to 8:30 minute miles consistently and my effort felt totally manageable. I was looking forward to a gel at mile 6. But guess what? I got to mile 6 and no gels! I thought maybe they were at mile 8. But guess what? I got to mile 8 and no gels! That's when I knew I'd be running this race on the fueling of a half a banana and some water. Go me!

Proof in case you think I made it up.


The last 4 or so miles are out of the canyon, running on a main street into the center of Provo. I hit the finish in exactly 1:50. Not a PR, but a solid race for me and I felt great. And, hi to Mindy who introduced herself in the last mile as she whipped by me!






About a quarter mile before the finish, I passed an older man who was somewhat slumped over and running at an angle. Some people have odd running styles, so I assumed he was okay. ASS-U-ME. But as I watched my finish line video, I see him come up a few seconds after me and collapse at the finish (in the bright shirt to the right- can't miss him).If anyone knows if he is okay, let me know. I can't stop thinking about him. Look HERE.



Overall, I loved this race. It was very well organized, beautiful and fast. The swag was awesome - we got this running jacket in lieu of ONE MORE race shirt:



My only gripe is the gel thing. It was a good reminder to always have a back up plan when racing. 

Oh, and one last thing - I'm going to Vegas in a couple of weeks and think I might need this suit. Thoughts?





Ever had a race situation where they ran out of water or did not have the fuel stuff you expected?

How much would you have to be paid to wear this suit?

SUAR

77 comments:

  1. I'm one of your loyal blog followers and I do look forward to your posts. Can't say I have time to read them all but I like knowing you're out there doing your running, working, cooking, mothering shit too.
    I would NEVER wear this swimsuit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for that Jo-Anne. I guess I can count on you to read my review of the swim suit. :)

      Delete
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  2. I am still here. :-) Keep writing when you can!

    There have been a few races here where they ran out of water on the course. I always bring my own fuel, just in case. I do kind of depend on them for water though, unless it's super hot and humid, then I carry my own water.

    I think that swimsuit would look great on you. ;-)

    Hope that man is OK, scary!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I have noticed that you aren't blogging as much and have to say that I miss it. I usually read all of your posts even if I read several at a time. You motivate me, make me laugh and have even introduced me to books in the past. Keep it up please!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I rarely comment, because I'm lazy like that! I love your blog, yes I noticed you weren't posting as much. I always pack my own water and fuel. I guess I have trust issues :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Clearly I need to have more trust issues!! Too trusting. Thanks for reading

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  5. Oranges, assuming they were actually at aid stations 2, 8 and 11, would have been a good call. The energy from an orange is fast to absorb. I'm not going to comment on the hairy chest swimsuit, I don't want to encourage you. But I like the orange race outfit with matching jersey and shoes.

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    Replies
    1. What if I want to wear the suit next time we all do a trail run or relay? I could wear the orange shoes too

      Delete
  6. I am a faithful follower that doesn't comment. I was just talking about how SUAR runs the Boulder Bolder and I felt like I knew a celebrity that would be there as we drove through on our way home to Ks from Estes park on memorial day. My BRF commented that wow I had been reading and talking about your blog for years now! I like getting notifications of your posts. I have gone back and scoured for tips when I went to San Fran for bay to breakers one year bc I remembered you had posted about going there once. I love your posts about what your doing and have also gone back to those for ideas on books to read. If you still enjoy blogging, I just wanted you to know you still have peeps that enjoy reading.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Dalanna. Thanks so much for that!! And thanks for sticking around. I do love to blog and write.

      Delete
  7. I'm a total lurker. But I look forward to your posts because they ARE infrequent. It's not surprising when I open up Feedly and see my other blogs that post every day because they are constant and predictable. But you, you are spontaneous and that's way more exciting! Something tells me you wouldn't like to be called predictable :-)

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  8. I really enjoy ur blog! You always make me laugh and have insoired me to keep running. I am really trying to get up the courage to do my first half ( which is a trail run btw) and it really makes me want to do it when I see how much you dedicate yourself to doing the races. Also, the bright color really makes u look extra dark. Keep up the blogging because it's always fun to read

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  9. Here in Europa in Holland In always enjoy your blogs. You write great and you run very well. I love that you write about things others do nog mention and have sent your "toilet before the race" trick to many women here with succes.

    Keep on blogging and running the way that fiets you. We allemaal do text a lot and follow many persons and subjects do we are not able to react on everything. But your wise lessons and expertise will pop up in out (running) lives.

    Kind regards from Dorothé

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry for the text mistakes but it is the dutch auto correct

      Delete
  10. I'm a pretty new reader (<6 months) and love your writing. I would like for you to keep blogging (if you still enjoy it!) because I just discovered you! :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. I'm a faithful Longmont follower. Love what you have to say and how you say it. Even if blogs are more infrequent, I enjoy the smile after reading one. Keep running and please keep blogging.
    The bathing suit is hilarious
    !

    ReplyDelete
  12. I always read your blog posts. They make me laugh and really do help motivate. You are a testament to what it really is like to make running a part of your life while juggling husband, kids, work, pets, family, social commitments and kids sports/activities. I'll keep reading whenever you choose to post!

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  13. Thanks for yet another term for pooping. You paved the way for those of us who have always wanted to share our GI issues but were afraid. My favorite all time post of yours was "I didn't deserve that thank you". Been there, done that, clogged the toilet.

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  14. Was thinking of this race for this year until my hip decided it didn't want to go (stress facture). So will give it a try again next year and I will heed your warning and take my own fuel. Great job Beth!
    P.S. When you did the TransRockies I was so impressed and talked it up to Steve thinking we could do the 3 day, etc., nothing. Then last night he saw that 4 minutes video and then says 'Hey, that looks cool, we should do the 3 day part next year.' Just had to laugh. So you thinking about doing again? This year or next?

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  15. There isn't as much blogging and comments on blogs as there used to be. I'm sad to see some blogs go away and hope they come back, but it's doubtful. A good blog takes some effort. If you're a really good writer you're probably trying to actually make money writing, and blogging takes away from that. If you aren't a good writer you probably aren't having much fun blogging and it takes longer than you have time for and you're likely going to stop once the thrill is gone. Some people can write, but run out of things to say. A few of us can hit the blogging sweet spot. We have stuff to say (or think we do) and writing it out doesn't take too much time from the rest of our lives. Today, for example, I pounded out a blog where the title starts, More hairy butts. The whole thing took about 10 minutes, including editing a couple of the photos. And yes, as of right now the link is visible on Beth's side bar. In addition to that I've got some yard work done, a minor household repair, and I'm starting to prep for a half marathon tomorrow. When you're old like me, lots of prep is required. And yes I'll blog about it.

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  16. Don't go anywhere!! I love your blogs & I start to see if you've written from Friday morning onwards! Then I realise it's the middle of the night for you so I leave it til the evening & look again. Sometimes I have a sneaky look at lunchtime but I'm a very respectable teacher & it wouldn't do for my children to find me laughing out loud at your posts!! Seriously, you motivate me to run & keep running. I read favourite old blogs too. I admire your commitment to running & yeah I laugh my arse off at your observations- hope we've all convinced you. Look, I sit here on my sofa, different country, different life but your blog is like a friend! Oh goodness- how gushy!?! Sorry, you're probably crying or vomiting!!! Xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha!! This was some good convincing! Not crying or vomiting (hate vomit). Just a fart.

      Delete
  17. Not even the Fonz could survive jumping the shark (and yes, I remember when it happened.) That being said, I don't think SUAR has jumped the shark. I've been reading for about 4 years and you never failed to entertain.

    No, never, on that swimsuit.

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  18. I never post, but always read (yep i'm that kind of blog stalker). My mom and cousin ran this marathon a couple years ago and my cousin collapsed just shy of the finish line too. We couldn't tell my mom when she ran by us at mile 22/23, but we went straight from her finish to the hospital. Thankfully he was ok, and I hope that runner is too!

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  19. Why is it that soy sauce is always what spills in the fridge?? That just happened to me, too. What a soggy, sticky mess (TWSS).

    P.S. Keep blogging, we love you!

    P.P.S. BUTTHOLE!

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  20. You're my favorite. Ne t'arrete pas!

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  21. I was like, she dropped the kids at the pool? But she said there were fires because it was cold? ......OHHHHHH! KIDS. At the pool. Lol! Faithful reader of posts that you put on facebook. Congrats on your race and yes, I was dying for a banana at the Chicago marathon and since I was at the back thanks to cramping, they were all gone. Finally got one. It revived me enough to run again. ( sorry if this posts multiple time. It keeps coming back to the Publish button.)

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  22. I don't comment but wanted to let you know I enjoy reading your blog! Keep writing! :)

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  23. Very loyal follower!
    I was at Savannah the year that they actually had to divert runners off the course due to heat/lack of water/lack of emergency services.
    I did something I had never done during that race...I took salt tabs at the start and carried a few with me.
    I always carry a Simple Hydration bottle during my races (any race:5K's included) mainly because I don't like anyone telling me when I'm allowed to drink. Thank God for that! They ran out of cups towards the latter part of the race so I was well hydrated.
    It was probably my slowest race. I finished, I felt pretty good with the exception of running to find a bathroom before I pooped myself ( you aren't the only one). I did end up giving another runner a sodium tab at about mile 10. She was having horrible leg cramps and low and behold...I had a few on me.
    So many people collapsed during the race that they ran out of Emergency service vehicles. It was horrible. Only one person out of the 5 who were running the marathon, actually finished the marathon.
    The good part was we stayed in a haunted AirBNB. But that's a whole other story!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Shit, I should clarify. 1 out of the 5 in my party. I sound like a damn statistics professor.

      Delete
    2. I ran that race in Savanna too - so hot and humid. I think one person died during and one the afternoon of the race after he got home. I remember eating one of the salt packets they were handing out (like the ones you get at a restaurant). So scary!

      Delete
  24. Ive been reading your blog since my first half marathon in 2013, and am now on the eve (-ish) of my first full ironman in july. Still love all your stuff, whether it is random, focused, dogs, kids, bodily functions.

    No joke, i think of you 50% of the time i fart on a run, and i primarily fuel with beans, just sayin.

    And im a big hairy man so i wear that bathing suit every time i leave the house.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love it when people think of me when they fart. Even big hairy men. :)

      Delete
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  25. You crack me up! Keep writing. And Adsense is stupid. :)

    ReplyDelete
  26. I noticed that you weren't blogging as often and worried that there was something heavy going on in your life that was causing it. So glad that is not the case. You always make me laugh - please keep blogging!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Jules. Nope, nothing heavy - just real life stuff that keeps me busy!

      Delete
  27. I love your blog. I've been reading for years. I even bought the tech shirt. I never comment because I prefer to lurk (like a creepy stalker) on the internet. Please don't stop blogging.

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  28. Save the swimsuit for a pool party your kids will be at! Love your blog. You have saved me from many a bad run. Whether it's learning how to drop the kids off at the pool or how to enjoy a weekend away with your girlfriends, you never fail to keep me wanting to know more. Your dreams of buying that old gas station for a "run in" "potty stop" makes me want to come to Colorado for a run. Cheers from Abbotsford

    ReplyDelete
  29. I have enjoyed reading your blog for several years now. I love the race recaps but also your gear reviews, book suggestions, family stuff and the occasional recipe.
    What great running swag...I usually end up with a t-shirt that dosen't fit properly.
    Thanks for sharing!

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  30. You may not post that often but when you do it doesn't feel tired yet at all. Thanks for keeping going for as long as you decide to!

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  31. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  32. love your blog! that suit? not so much. When i read your line about running the race on half a banana i thought about my boston marathon race report... if you are interested you can read it here if you'd like. http://michiganrunnergirl.com/lobster-rolls-famous-runner-sightings-hot-weather-amazing-finish-line-photo-ali-lopezs-boston-marathon-race-report/ Keep up the good blogging... definitely haven't jumped the shark :)

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    Replies
    1. That was a great read. I cannot believe you were able to run a marathon after being up all night sick!

      Delete
  33. I read every post and yours is the only one where I read EVERY comment (except those hilarious spam ones - WTH?). You always engage your readers with a question and if I was a good blogger I would, too (I barely blog anymore). I remember the jump the shark episode!

    I haven't run where there was not enough gels/aid so I got nothing on that. Now, about that suit - I would wear it for, hmmmm, $200 if the suit were provided for free. I mean, I'm a 45-year-old mom of 4 - who do I need to impress? My husband knows what's underneath and that's the only guy's opinion I'm worried about. :)

    ReplyDelete
  34. Oh, no - I'm worried you'll stop blogging, and THEN who will make me belly laugh with their crude humor? I've been reading your blog for years now, and will miss you very much if you decide to stop...but I totally get that life is busy and that you need to do what's best for you and yours.
    Because of you I feel slightly less appalled by myself when I brew up the occasional (okay, I'll admit it - FREQUENT!!) asserole. THANK YOU for sharing your life with us.
    PENIS! BUTTHOLE! PENISHOLE! (take THAT, AdSense)

    ReplyDelete
  35. Wow, you got a lot of lurkers to comment, that's fantastic! I have been trying to comment more, not be such a taker, and contribute something to what you so freely give to all of us. As you can see, you have many fans and friends that would miss you.

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  36. I read all your blogs and appreciate your limited censorship/ unabashed willingness to say what you think. Many of your writings pulse through my head. I am not from CO, but once ran a race there and you ran past me - I was star struck. Good thing, else alls I would remember was how elevation doesn't agree with me. I'll read whenever you write.

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  37. Hi, I'm new here. Please never stop blogging, thank you.

    And yes, two weeks ago they ran out of cups at the half I was running. Ug. Seriously?
    Seems like there are more problems with nuun-fueled races than gatorade-fueled races (sorry, nuun) maybe because gatorade is so easy to mix up (dump in the powder and add water) but the little tablets are time consuming and confusing (sorry, nuun -- I swear I love you).
    Still, nice job and great recap! Thanks for carving out the time to make me laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Your are an inspiration, even more so because you are not being paid to do it. I check back many times a week for new posts and read old ones if there is nothing new. I am very grateful for EVERY word and hope that you find the energy to continue.

    My first race was a 10k terrain race in the frozen spring of Norway. I don't remember if there were drink stations along the course, but I do remember being very sore that they ran out of bananas and water at the finish line. Thankfully my friends were there with beer and bubbly!

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  39. Please don't stop blogging, Beth! Love the potty humor, and I check every week or so for something to make me giggle or inspire me to get out there and run. Many, many thanks for what you do!

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  40. Thank you very much for the information you shared, it's all I've been looking for

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  41. I'm still here!! Love reading your blog, quality over quantity, right?

    ReplyDelete
  42. I ran a half on a ferociously humid day where they ran out of cups at one of the later water stops. I had a water bottle, so they refilled mine, but the poor suckers without water bottles had the option of 1. Cup hands and drink as much as possible from them, or 2. Drink from "reused" cups. So. Gross. Either way, really.

    ReplyDelete
  43. I've been reading for a long time and rarely comment but love your blog! Thanks for being honest and humorous, there aren't a lot of running blogs that are relate-able.

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  44. I read your blog religiously! In fact I was going to ask if you still coach people at all.

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  45. I am not running anymore--or not for the moment anyway-- but your blog continues to inspire me. I just emailed a friend your post about what hard things teach us. Every time I read about your daughter making it to the top and falling into your arms crying I cry. Big ole ugly cry. Your words have power. Please keep sharing them. I know that I am better for it...as I continue to keep pushing in other areas of my life too.

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    Replies
    1. Wow, I need to go back and read that post! Thanks for reading, even if you are not running at the moment!

      Delete
  46. I'm another avid reader, seldom poster but just wanted to say how much I love your blog! I started reading it when I was running a few years ago. I stopped running when I got pregnant and now have a 19 month old and shamefully have yet to get back out there and try and build up my fitness again, but I still always check in on your blog and it puts a big smile on my face when I see a new post. Thank you for sharing it :)

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  47. Please don't stop blogging! I love this blog (no matter how frequent or infrequent). You don't sugar coat things and I LOVE IT!

    ReplyDelete
  48. I read your blog all the time. Thank you for getting me through my ankle surgery! You did great and had no idea how I was depending on you! When are you heading out to Vegas? I live here and have got to tell you that right now it is too hot for us! Tracy

    ReplyDelete
  49. I'm a little late to the commenting party, but I had to tell you that I love your blog! I love your dirty humor, and really look forward to all your posts :) Please keep it up! You're one of the only people who makes as many butthole jokes as I do :)

    ReplyDelete
  50. Love your blog. I love your humor and heart. The Utah race sounds great. Weird liquor laws though! So if you are at a bar of any type you have to buy food with your alcohol? craziness. I hope your runner in question is okay!

    ReplyDelete
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    Chi phí phẫu thuật thu gọn cánh mũi tại Dr.Hải Lê: http://nangmuicao.com.vn/chi-phi-thu-gon-canh-mui.html
    Phương pháp thu gọn cánh mũi có để lại sẹo không? http://nangmuicao.com.vn/thu-gon-canh-mui-co-de-lai-seo-khong.html
    Khái niệm thu gọn cánh mũi nội soi là gì? http://nangmuicao.com.vn/thu-gon-canh-mui-noi-soi.html

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  57. I'm a long-time reader and have been following your blog for years. I'm such a fan that I even got your tech shirt! Although I usually prefer lurking in the shadows online, I wanted to step out and say: please, keep on blogging! Your content is awesome!

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