Wednesday, February 4, 2009

It Gets Messy Sometimes

Am I the only one who has unexpected issues while running? Do you know what I'm referring to? Not to be graphic, but my G.I. tract sometimes goes ape shit when I run. Well, not like I'm shitting like an ape, but you know what I mean. I can be perfectly fine, head out for a run and start having issues.

Take today for example. It's 65 degrees in Longmont, so I headed to Boulder to do the Eagle Loop. Half way into my second loop and miles from the car, I start having issues. I don't know how much detail you want, but suffice it to say that an unexpected start to something womanly plus an episode of something made funny in the movie "Along Came Polly" hit all at once. (Okay, if you haven't seen the movie, you still must know what a shart is, if you don't, look it up).

I am sure this can't be just happening to me.

It's so random, too. I ran an entire marathon without so much as a fart and then I go on this benign seven miler today and I'm a mess.

Don't get me wrong - it was still a great run. How could it be bad being in the bright sunlight, looking at the Rockies and running amongst the cows and horses?

Like I've said in a previous post: I'm always glad I did the run when it's over. Even if I needed to be hosed off.

If you're comfortable, share with me if this happens to you, what you do about it, how you prevent it.


  1. Never happens to me, although I know a lot of people with that problem. I must have an iron stomach.

    The exception was one November evening when you all were still in Richmond. Al was in town and we went to the Border cafe (I had the hot chili) followed by Richbrau, followed by something else that I can't remember.

    I stayed at Leroy's and he made us jalapeno omelettes in the morning. The spicy food didn't upset my stomach/intestines until 48 hours later. That was when I happened to be in Northern Virginia visiting my parents for Thanksgiving. I was also on a run and exactly 2 miles from their house. I alternated between sprinting and walking with clenched buttocks all the way home. People on the running trail must have thought I was doing a weird workout. I made it, but if my parents had lived one house further I'd have a much more graphic story to tell.

  2. Clenched buttocks. That has got to be my favorite description ever. I can totally relate.

  3. Well I haven't had any issues in the last few years, I think mostly because I got on a high fiber diet and got used to running at the same time every day...for me it seemed to get everything running like clockwork

  4. Anytime I run other than right away in the morning, I seem to have these problems. I recently had to do the clenched buttocks walk/jog for the last 2 miles of a 10 mile run. Not fun. I wish I knew the answer!

  5. Glad it's not just me, Heather. You are right, I tend to do better first thing in the a.m.

  6. ROTFL...Loved the post and everyone's comments. I've certainly had my moments running and can definitely relate to the clenched buttocks! I had a super uncomfortable (and embarrassing) episode on the womanly front last summer. Despite being prepared for it, let's just say my body decided to overactively flush itself. All I can say is, thank goodness I had black running pants on and running partners who were incredibly supportive. Had to walk the last two miles of my run and put a towel down in the car before I sat down. I love being a woman sometimes.