Monday, October 12, 2009

Me Vs. Oprah - Not Pretty

With this stress fracture, swimming has entered the picture. It's the only safe exercise I can do right now. Added to my list of reasons why I don't love swimming: raccoon eyes from the goggles.

Seriously, could I be any uglier in this picture? Cut me some slack, I'm fresh from the pool. Chlorine makes me hideous. I can't believe I'm even posting this. Dang I need an eyebrow wax. And no, those aren't Mickey Mouse ears, it's my hat. I like to call this my Oprah shot. You know how Oprah occasionally shows you how she looks with no makeup and you're like, "holy ugliness, put on some makeup woman!" (Dare I say, she looks better than I do).

I decided that if I can't run, then I will swim the hell out of the pool. Sunday I did 40 lengths (1000 yards). Today I swam 72 lengths (1,800 yards). That is 1 mile, 40 yards. In 40 minutes. I have no clue what that time means. I could be really fast or terribly slow (so, if you know will you tell me?). I will say this, I find swimming way easier than running. I have NEVER been much of swimmer and haven't swam a lap in nine years. So move over, running because swimming is entering the picture. Maybe the three of us could have a menage a trois? Or at least have an exclusive club.

Speaking of, I had a club with some girlfriends when I was ten. I know it will surprise you to learn that I was a provocative and crude child. Don't get me wrong, I got good grades and no one was the wiser. I saved my crude antics for secret meeting with my friends. I remember having a club and hiding under a bridge to set the rules. I don't remember the extent of the rules, but I do remember we sang this song (I'm pretty sure I master minded it because I was the leader of the pack):

Shit, damn we know to hell, this is our club and we'll never tell.

No kidding. This is the kind of child I was. Yet I never smeared feces on the walls, went to juvy hall or got into any sort of trouble. I don't know what my problem was, I just enjoyed living on the edge and defiling my friends. How I got to be a mom of two well adjusted kids and a productive member of society I'll never know. I will say my parents were/are pretty great.

But back to the swimming. Do I really like to swim? Not so much. Do I get anywhere close to the high I get with running? Not at all. Is it an okay distraction and a way to move my body when I can't do anything else? I guess so.

One thing I will say is that swimming to me gets really boring. Counting lap after lap. Someone could be an instant millionaire if they made the iPod work in the water.

Half Ironman? I'm just putting it out there. Prior to becoming a runner, I was a cyclist. Did century rides, did Ride the Rockies, one time rode my bike from Richmond, VA to the Outer Banks, NC just for the hell of it. Would you ever consider a 1/2 IM? Am I just nuts?

One last thing: winner of the Hershey Kisses is Marlene of Mission to a(nother) Marathon! Email me your info and I'll send on your treats!


  1. You are too funny!! Love it.. I was forced to swim when recovering from knee surgery in College, no THANK YOU!! Hehehe mailing kisses to Canada. Congrats to Marlene..

  2. Damn! I thought I had this contest/win in the bag! Sheesh!
    Hmmm, a half IM might be something to look forward to, since you already have two out the three down (running/cycling). I hear you though, about the swimming, it gets boring fast! But kudos to you lady for getting out there and moving! It should help you become less crazy as you recover!

  3. I would do a Half IM if I could swim . . . since you're becoming such a pro, maybe you could teach me? :)

  4. I find swimming to be annoying too, but obviously good for injuries. I think running is actually easier for me than swimming, but they are both hard.

  5. Oh girl. My goggle eyes when I've been up all stinking night THEN decide to swim are THEEEEEEE best!

    I've grown to like swimming more that I've introduced some drills to break up the monotony.

    And re: iPod in the pool -

  6. I hear you on swimming being boring. I used to swim laps and try to visualize myself crossing the finish line in a marathon. It was terribly sad, but it pulled me through...for maybe 500 yards. Are you allowed to do deep water running? I'm not saying it's any less boring, but it's at least different....

  7. I have no idea what your swimming stats mean! But I am happy you are getting out there :)

    I didn't realize goggles give you raccoon eyes!

  8. Yay for Half IM! I'm totally doing one next year too. Good luck!

    (And I wasn't going to say it, but yes, you really do need an eyebrow wax. Go get one of those. It'll make you feel better. :o)

  9. Just some redemption here. My eyebrows look especially bushy in this photo. While I do need a wax, some of it is an illusion because I am raising my eyebrows. Seriously. Trust me on this.

  10. Your post cracked me up!

  11. Hah! Love the pics! Liz (coach) has added swimming to my schedule these days. I guess that I might have said I would like to do a tri one of these days. And NO, knowing me, a 1/2 IM would most likely be in my future (I've already discussed this with her of course).
    Got your comment today. It's just me and Rick heading to S.A for the marathon (my daughter is staying with friends; she would be bored out of her mind). If you want to meet somewhere for dinner or drinks or just post marathon whatever...let me know. Would love to meet you and your husband!

  12. BTW-beats the "F" outta me what those stats mean. Hopefully someday I'll learn. Right now Liz is posting greek shit on my schedule and I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing.

  13. your hilarious by the way- your posts always make me laugh!

  14. I WON?! YAY! Best Birthday surprise ever! :D I'll send you an email.

    Thank you!!

    Way to show the pool who's who. Kudos for sticking with it even when you don't love it.

  15. Ok, maybe I'm a moron but I can't find your email address. :p

    Can you email me at and I'll send you my info.


  16. Heh, and I thought I was a bad child!!

    Half the sound of it. I'm toying with the idea myself.

  17. You are hilarious. And everyone looks like poo after getting out of the pool. (Except those Baywatch weirdos, but they don't count.)

    I LOVE swimming but like running b/c it's free. A la no fee to pay for a running route like it is at a pool.

    You should certainly do a tri. I think you would kill it when you can run again.

    I was that kind of kid too. Shhh! Don't tell my folks they think I'm an angel.

  18. Em Effin Bee-aucht! Love the club chant. I think I'll use it during my next Yoga Class instead of Om. Do you think anyone would notice? Brave, brave, girl for posting the photo. If you can to that you can so do a 1/2 IM. I know you really are beautiful, I'm one of the lucky ones who's seen you IP - in person (I'm so cool). And you have to swat admirers away like flys!

  19. Funny to go back and read this now after you have COMPLETED your HIM!!!! Can you tell how bored I am that I am going back and reading your blog from the beginning you catch up. Well that sounds kinda stalker-ish, yikes!

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