You might have heard the rumor. No, not the one where if you Google “farting runner” a picture of my family comes up, although that might be true (It is true. Go try it. We are picture #4).
The rumor I’m talking about is that I did 235 push ups in boot camp class today. The whole world is talking about it. Right after they discuss the 6.8 magnitude earth quake in Japan, they are murmuring something about some girl….in Colorado….did you hear?……235 push ups.
I know, in the scheme of things, it’s really not that great. Big shit, you are probably thinking. But, I have never been one to deliberately do a lot of upper body strength building, so I was damn proud of myself. Plus, I love it when I notice new bulges on my body. Not in the from of tumors or fat pockets, but in the form of muscles!!
I know, not the biggest mass of muscle you’ve ever seen, but I am forty freaking five years old, so cut me some slack. You should see my ear drum muscle.
On a side note, one thing you NEVER EVER want to do is what I did last week. I had Ken take pictures of the backs of my legs so I could show you the bruises my PT left. In doing so, he got part of the bottom of my ass (Not accidently. If you ever ask your boyfriend or husband to take a picture of your body they are going to throw in some body part you never want photographed). I know I do not have the most perky ass around, but it was a mess of sag and old age. It depressed me for days. So, don’t ever do such a thing. Ever.
Tangent: Speaking of bulges (were we speaking of those?) Did you see Dolvett on The Biggest Loser last night? I love it when he brings out his sensitive side.
Another great thing about today is that this week kicks off my training plan for the Turkey Track Trail Marathon in June. It’s a 13 week plan because 13 is a lucky number. If you don’t believe me, just ask Taylor Swift. She writes that number on her hand before each concert and now she is famous and a bazillionaire. 13 clearly worked for her.
Anyway, I love having a plan. Do you? It makes me feel right again. This is going to be an interesting journey because it will take me to some new territory:
- Most training will be on trails. I am SO excited for this part. My body seems to hold up better on the trails. Because it is really tough for me to not go all out when I run on the road, trails tend to reign me in and make me slow down. Plus, I have a love affair with the mountain and I have a love affair with running. Combine those two things and you make a really ugly baby. But, a really fun hobby.
- I will be training for this race while simultaneously training for two triathlons: one sprint and one Olympic distance. These three races all happen in June. This means that I’m choosing to only run three days per week. Plus, the most successful marathon training cycle I’ve had (when I got my BQ) was when I ran three days per week. So, when all is said and done, it came out looking like this: (I just learned that running improves your eyesight - just 2.5 miles per day can cut your chances of cataracts! - which is a good thing if you are trying to read this).
This is only the marathon training part. Mileage is low, but I will be doing a ton of cross training. I have not added in the days I will swim and bike. I want to keep going to boot camp and yoga at least once per week, so it will be a tight squeeze. But, doable.
If this trail race goes well, I will be having visions of ultras in my future. Yes, I said it. Yes, I did. I said the “U” word and I don’t even mean Uranus.
Wish me luck - I’m off to take Emma to Justice for Girls where I will be over stimulated by loud boppy music, sequins and overly peppy cashiers. But, it’s 40% off everything, so maybe I can get that poncho with the glow in the dark peace sign that I’ve been eyeing.
Also, wish me luck because tomorrow I present a health unit on running/fitness to 200 eight graders. I am hoping to keep their interest so I’m throwing in a bit about farts and why sweat smells. We’ll see how it goes.
Are you a big fan of having a PLAN for your races?
Ever consider doing an ultra marathon or have you done one?
SUAR
giiiiirl! i am SO impressed. i thought i was all bad ass with working up to 10. LOL!
ReplyDeleteI love training plans! Especially when I can run...I need to get back to my PT. Calling my Dr tomorrow from work to get back in. I love the #13, too! I did turn 13 on Friday the 13th and wore the # for a while playing rugby in college.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't worry about the 8th graders. They'll love your humor!
As for ultras? Awesomeness! I've only done two, but I am hooked!!! You'll love it!
I have to have a plan for my races. It helps to keep me focused and on track.
ReplyDeleteI am hoping to graduate to marathon level in October. A ultra is not in my plans yet.
I teach 7th and 8th grade in a large public middle school. They will love your humor, and with middle schoolers, humor is your friend. (Beer too, but not at school, LOL!) Mention farts, and they'll be hooked. Do not say the words ball(s) or nut(s) -- they won't be able to keep a straight face. YAY on the ultras! We have an ultra-runner on staff, and he swears that raising kids, teaching, and running ultras are all just variations on a theme: suck it up, keep going, and enjoy it for the process, not the prize.
ReplyDeleteas my and my girlfriends say "muscles - the ULTIMATE fashion accessory!" rock on!
ReplyDeleteI love to be plan-less in my running. No plan makes me happy. I run to run more than run to race. It would be funnier if you actually knew me, because I plan EVERYTHING all the time. I think not planning my running is what makes it so darned peaceful.
ReplyDeleteAnd, a tangent for you ... I love that you always take pictures on your stairs. Always.
I know, I am the queen of stair pictues. Some things always remain the same and I hope that makes you feel secure, seeing me on the stairs. One of the few places the self timer works. And my family is sick of taking pictures of me.
DeleteActually sweat itself doesn't stink. It only stinks when it comes out of your pores and mixes with bacteria. YUM.
ReplyDeleteI am liking not having a plan for my race. I'm a big fan of the Andy Kelp school of thought. "Every day is another day to triumph over the unexpected."
ReplyDeleteI am positive that over my entire life, (and I'm a lot older than you) I have not done 235 push ups, despite the best efforts of my IMC coach.
I am also positive that your ass is NOT a "mess of sag and old age" and I can prove it. You post the pic (without cropping) and you will no doubt be overwhelmed with compliments from the guys, and offers to trade from the women. That will neatly make up for the several days of depression.
How did I know about the video? Google told me, without even asking. Scary what it knows about us.
I like your zen attitude!!
DeleteSeriously it was as saggy mess. I will admit that most of my body is toned, but those cheeks - NO WAY. Ick.
Whoa! 235 push ups girl I can barely eek out 10 without farting; but I'm working up to 235! Love those guns which keeps me motivated to keep pushing myself with the push ups and cross training.
ReplyDeleteYes I am the one who has to have a plan; my running partner does not. I'm the one who plans everything out and my partner is the laid back type who doesn't get her panties in a wad over anything. Good luck! You are my hero!
I have a plan in my head for training for my first ultra in May. Beth----it's THEEEEE way to do an ultra. It's a 0.5 mile track that borders a fishing pond and a zoo, and every half mile you can get your water bottle filled, take care of sharts, eat, change layers,......no having to carry 10 miles worth of food and clothes and no need to have a handler figure out when you'll get to the next rest stop and what your needs will be,..... This is probably the only UM I will attempt (12 hours to go around the track as many times as you can). YOur mileage is up to you. It's called Mind the Ducks (since the park is their's the other 364 days of the year). Everyone says you do NOT go crazy going around the same track...that was the first question I asked.
ReplyDeleteWell I must say the shart thing is appealing.
DeleteSUAR - you have to watch this video "How to Handle a Fart in Yoga Class" - haha
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vaFRZuBw9JM
that was hilarious. I like the idea of bringing dogs (or babies) to yoga class so you have someone to blame.
DeleteAwesome job on the push-ups!!!! Wowza!
ReplyDeleteAnd I was thinking the same thing about the stairs photos :)
Nice work on the pushups!
ReplyDeleteI am totally afraid to go into Justice. I am super pleased that my daughter is tiny and likes cutesy stuff, so hopefully I can squeeze a few more years out of Gymboree before having to switch to Justice.
I love having marathon training plans, but haven't followed much of a plan for my tri training, but need to work on that. I really do well when I have a plan mentally
So, since I taught 8th grade, I will give you a little advice. 8th graders love fart jokes and Uranus jokes, but then again who doesn't. But I taught science so it was easy to talk about Uranus. But you have to make it fun or they will just start texting each other. Also it helps if you tell them there will be a pop quiz at the end...even if you have no intentions of actually giving one. Okay, I think that is enough for now. If I can teach sex ed 9 months pregnant, you can do this!!! Good luck!!
ReplyDeleteIf you google "fatty 9 months pregnant" my picture pops up. Great.
GREAT advice. Tehre actually IS a quiz at the end, so I won't be lying. I'm giving out GUs and Stinger Waffles as prizes. If I can work in the Uranus thing, I will. Testicle would be fun too.
DeleteSigh.... I {secretly} dream of being an Ultra Mama! But I've only accomplished two half marathons at this point in my fledgling running career (just over a year.) So all I can do is keep it in my heart and continue training. I hope you do one so I can live vicariously through you! ;)
ReplyDeleteyou rock those muscles!! It’s great to form a plan and schedule, it keeps you focus. Just recovery from a running injury, so you inspire me to get up and get going. Just starting to follow your blog enjoy the humor.
ReplyDeleteOf course I googled farting runner. That is so hilarious. Your family must be sooo proud. I can only imagine the bragging rights!
ReplyDeleteWhen I first moved to Erie I was excited to finally find a yoga class at the rec center. I arrived to a mirror-less room full of senior citizens and lots of passing gas. Afterwards I realized it was an arthritic yoga class. They would welcome you and your gas with open arms Beth!
Plans... I have to register for a race to even run. I like the RLRF plans with running 3x week and cross training between. I run alone (desperately need to find a group already) and get burned out if there's too much (days per week) running in the plan.
1. I saw no saggy butt in that picture. Not the 1st time you posted, nor the 2nd.
ReplyDelete2. 235 push-ups? Like, consecutively? Or throughout the course of the class? Either way, I bow in humble adoration.
3. No training plan for me, but then again I'm only 1/2 as crazy. Hardy har...get it? (I'm only doing 1/2s at this point.) But if/when I venture it fully crazy territory, I probably will need a plan. And someone with a whip.
4. Last but not least, here's a joke you can use in your presentation: "What do toilet paper and the Starship Enterprise have in common??" "They both circle Uranus and wipe out Klingons!" You're welcome.
OMG no, not consecutively...throughout the one hour class. Could probalby not do more than 20 at a time.I am digging the joke, hilarious, and perfect 8th grade humor for sure. I've had a few Klingons on my Uranus, so I have experience.
DeleteI was hoping you would go on about the number 13 so I could make a comment here that my 13th birthday was on Friday the 13th! But, since you didn't, I won't.
ReplyDeleteI love push ups!! In my old boot camp class we once did what our trainer called the 100, 200, 300 workout. 100 push ups, 200 sit ups and 300 squats. You had to do them in order like that too. We could take breaks to rest but had to finish all the push ups before starting the sit ups, which were followed by the squats. It sucked but I felt like a rock star when it was over. The sit ups were the worst part for me and still are. I just started doing CrossFit and it is awesome!
Hey, I ran the Turkey Track trail marathon last June-- it is an easy course, smooth trails, not very hilly (especially considering it's in the San Juans) and some Forest Service roads. There were cows pastured in the area which ate some of the course marker ribbons so some runners, myself included, got sidetracked. Plus I HEART Pagosa Springs!!! The race organizers put on good races--I also did the Devil Mountain 50K last October. Happy to answer any questions...
ReplyDeleteVery cool, thanks for the info on the Turkey Track. What did you think about Devil Mtn? Would it be a good first ultra?
DeleteThat is so cool about trail running. I've always wondered what was so great about it, I thought it was all about the scenery...never thought that it could train someone to go slower...I should consider this for myself. I'm very excited by all the different races and stuff you are going to do this year!
ReplyDeleteI prefer to have a plan to help me with my runs. I went to a clinic for 5k and have been training on my own for 10k and it's really helpful in keeping me on track, and also not to over-train.
Given my medical condition, I don't think I'll ever do an ultra, but I really admire pple who do. For example, I am a huge fan of Ellie Greenwood who runs ultras, and lives in Banff, which is not far from Calgary, where I live.
Just had a look at your program, and yes it could work just fine for you, just one thing I would thing of doing every couple of weeks, and that is after a bike ride get out and run. Nothing big, just 20min quickish, and that will help with your tri's. As for the marathon, if you changed your x-training for say 5 miles your milage would be very healthy, so look at your x-training as those extra miles and you will rock the marathon.
ReplyDeleteI would also like to say 12 weeks of solid training is a lot to do without a break, but with only really running 3 times a week, I think you will get through 12 weeks of training. If you were running 7 times a weeks and doing 50+ miles a week I would say you need a rest week in the middle. But I don't see your body breaking down (getting tired) before your race.
Now I've told you more than you want to know, so get out there and train.
PS I love the trails and yes it is easier on the body.
Yes I'll be incorporating some bricks as part of my tri plan. I'm good with my mileage where it is especially given all of the cross training. I've done something very similar to this in the past and it worked well for me. My body doesn't do well when I do in excess of 40 miles per week at this point.I've also built in recovery weeks to offset the fact that it is a packed plan.
DeleteThanks for the input.
My daughters love Justice for girls.(especially my 6 yr old) Everything must have peace signs....
ReplyDeleteI love having a training plan. Although, currently I'm not following one since I'm recovering from a slight injury. I'm just working on increasing my mileage. I think an ultra would be fun. Maybe a 50k or even 50 mi. No interest in a 100 miler! Awesome job on the push-ups!!
My training plan is pretty basic. I'm trying to commit to 2 hours a week on my bike, no exceptions, because I am such a weak biker. I can fake swimming and running if need be but a half-iron with no bike training will hurt much more than is necessary. I try to run at least 4 days a week, with one of those being a middle/longer distance run (i.e. anywhere from 4-10 miles). Swim at least 45 mins a week, adding more as it becomes lake weather-gotta break that wetsuit in! I will probably attempt more "mini tris" in training to work on my transitions and get used to how it feels to work really hard after so many months of having to take it easy. 15 mins swimming hard, 15 mins biking hard, 15 mins running hard. Good mental practice, too.
ReplyDeleteUltras: I'd maybe train for one because I'm very interested in doing at least one more marathon in my life so why not just go for the ultra?
Good luck with your presentation, training, and keep these posts coming. You are a great source of humor (i.e. farts), interesting facts, and all things running/tri related. Thank you!
Amazing job with the push ups! I love having a plan in place and even plan some races 5 to 7 years in advance. I've done plenty ultras but I've been running since 1981 so I should have.
ReplyDeleteBeth, love the set up of this plan. Did you develop it yourself or is it from a source that I could print out?
ReplyDeleteNo I did it myself in Word using tables. Let me know if you need help.
DeleteGo get it girl! I'm starting training soon for my first trail half and hope to make it to ultra status within two years so I'll be following your progress.
ReplyDeleteNice bulge!!!
ReplyDeleteSounds like a good plan for the trail marathon and exciting that ultras could be in your future. It's definitely on my radar for one day... actually, I always thought I'd do an ultra before a tri. Go figure...
Thanks for the photo of your muscles. I'm trying to constantly tell my girls that strong is pretty and this photo is proof (OK. They're only 2 1/2 and 5 but it's never too early!).
ReplyDeleteI only run baby races (5K and hopefully 10K soon) but I always have a plan. No plan = no way I will force myself to run.
I used to do a boatload of push-ups and then I ended up with some rib inflammation caused by doing too many. Painful, painful experience. Now I don't do more than 25-50 a day. 235 would probably kill me AND my ribs.
Wow well I am impressed with that number of push ups for any age!! I call it good when I do 3 sets of ten! p.s. I love plans and lists and anything that makes me appear organized!
ReplyDeleteBeth, my arms want to be your arms when they grow up. Seriously, you rule. Yes, I have to have a training plan because I'm Type A that way. Yes, I'll be doing my first ultra this October (a 6 hour race). And I have to go to Justice this weekend to spend my daughter's birthday money. Pray for my soul.
ReplyDeleteHey, I'd love to know how your training for your ultra!!
DeleteI'm using the Bart Yasso Comrades plan. Doing lots of back-to-back weekend runs for time and not distance.
DeleteI just HAVE to ask...when you say "pushup", are we talking about on the toes (not the knees), descending all the way to the floor touching either the chin or the chest on the down portion, then returning at the top position with arms straight...?
ReplyDeleteThat is a lot of pushups in an hour no matter how they are performed, but I just had to ask...
Yes, on toes. No not touching nose to floor, but close. Yes, returning to top with arms straight.
DeleteNow I'm not only impressed, but on awe....amazing !!!!!!
DeleteThanks, I'm trying!!!
DeleteMy arms wonder what language your arms are speaking. They barely remember what a pushup is. I guess I should remind them.
ReplyDeleteI have a plan for my ultras but don't always stick to it exactly. It is more of an outline to keep me from slacking or over-doing it. With so luck I will get off the wait list for my 100 and get to see if all my "training" has been enough to trick my body into doing what my mind is going to tell it to do.
This year will be my first ultra and also the first time following a plan (maybe).
ReplyDeleteWhich one? stud!
Delete235?!?! youre insane. and can you pick me up some new scrunchies at justice? thanks.
ReplyDeleteYou seriously did that many push ups? I am in incredible awe. You are my hero!
ReplyDeleteI love having a plan :)
ReplyDeleteThey made us do 100 push ups in a row yesterday at CrossFit. Then this morning there was more, but they were broken up. I asked if we were in trouble because of how long it took us to do the 100... he responded that he just wants us to be better at them. I think that means we are in trouble.
Heck yes I will do an ultra someday! I want to get a good handle on the half and full marathon first though.
lol thats soo funny your family pic is #4 on google for farting... it made me laugh! good luck on your training! I want to do that Trail Run so badly but I've never ran in Colorado before.. My family has a cabin outsie of Buena Vista but we're usually only there during the winter for christmas and new years.. I've been thinking I need to take a summer vacay there and possibly add in a marathon or half.. or something!! lol
ReplyDeleteAs a junior high teacher, you will DEFINITELY have their interest with fart and sweat stories!
ReplyDeleteHoly push-ups!
ReplyDeleteI'm definitely in favor of a plan. But then, I take being type A very seriously. Ever time I hear about some awesome race someone has done, I put it on my running bucket list. One of my blog friends did the JFK 50 this year, so yes, I'd consider it.
I've done 5 trail ultras & the recovery time is much faster on the body! Having a strong core helps with running the changing terrain. I still run road marathons, but my body/mind prefer the trails.
ReplyDeleteOh I LOVE a good plan... I am the QUEEN of training plans!
ReplyDeleteCurrently completing a 23 week marathon plan (long to avoid the dreaded "I" word - injuiry!!) having just come off a 11 week triathlon program.
I know... autistic tendency central.
I think your blog is amazing especially the quality of your posts as well as the design. Thanks for sharing!
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