Friday, March 29, 2013

When I Grow Up I’m Going to Be Laid Back (and Run the 100 Meter Dash)

You know how occasionally you have one of those long runs where everything falls into place? No muscles, tendons or bones hurt. Your turnover is swift, steady and light. Your heart rate stays mellow. There is no wind, no rain, no snow. Your intestines and colon behave, keeping everything intact.

Well, I am glad you have those runs because I do NOT, especially not today. Let’s start out with the good:


This was at mile 12 of 16. I had to stop and snap a picture because I have never seen this lake this calm. I loved how the mountains were reflected in the water. If you live in Longmont, you know exactly where this is! Indeed, we are lucky.

The other “good” was that my body felt damn excellent. No aches or pains. I had a decent amount of energy. That’s it for the good – although that is pretty good.

So, what happened? Mile one of 16 my stomach started to hurt. Not a good sign. That’s where you know you’re in for a few hours of hell. 

I want all the men reading (5 of you maybe including my dad and husband) to know that I am about to start my period (men love period talk) and I swear my body breaks down and does weird things (anyone else get upset stomach that time of the month? Keith, Ken, Tom?). Also, I did not follow my own rules and had black bean/pork chili for dinner last night. WWIT??? (What Was I Thinking??)

Mile 3: I knew something was brewing.

Mile 7: I jumped under a bridge and I was not playing hide and go seek or trying to be the troll in Billy Goat’s Gruff

Mile 9: I jumped into a ditch just off the side of the road. Was very glad I did not get arrested for indecent exposure.

Mile 11: I scraped my nose and I’m not sure how. I don’t remember getting into a bar room brawl on this run.IMAG1337

Look Ma! No boogers.

Mile 15.5: I ran by my house because I was short on mileage (DOH!!) and saw police cars. The house two doors down had been robbed. I know I didn’t rob the house because I wasn’t home. But, CRAP I hate it when stuff like this happens nearby.  Why can’t everyone just behave?

Mile 16: and I’m done. I notice chafing from my heart rate strap.  And, a couple of moles I might need to get checked.


Okay, so I am being dramatic. This run was exactly what I needed – a test in learning to take what comes and to handle it. To not get all bent out of shape because things don’t go exactly the way my little brain orchestrated them to go.  Every single run is an adventure. That is the beauty of it – the variety, the surprises.

Lately, I have been doing my best to follow this guy’s advice and to be more laid back and accepting of the adventures, imperfections and detours life throws at you (Ken, I know you are hoping I can really do this so I stop driving you crazy).  There are so many nuggets of wisdom in this great article “12 Practical Steps for Learning to Go with the Flow.” The most helpful thing for me to do is exactly this:

“Realize that you can’t control everything. We don’t control the universe, and yet we seem to wish we could.  First step is realizing that things will happen. Not might happen, but will. There are things that we cannot control that will affect every aspect of our lives, and we must must must accept that, or we will constantly be frustrated.”

And now, to get your weekend off to the perfect start – this morning on the Today Show I saw a video of two men – one 95 years old, and one 94 years old competing in the 100 meter dash and it MADE MY MORNING. Sure it’s cool to be 25 and run a sub three hour marathon…but, to be 90 and sprint for a 100 meters? Now that’s ballsy, incredible and BUCKET LIST MATERIAL.

Tell me one thing on your bucket list. So many! Meet my grandchildren. Run a marathon in another country. Go to Africa on a safari. Visit India. Run a 100 meter dash when I’m 96.

Are you go- with- the- flow or uptight? I don’t need to answer that.



  1. Do you carry TP on a long run? I've never had to make a pit stop, but pre-run I sometimes need to stop at a nearby 7-11 to use their facilities.

    And yes, when my period starts, the rest of my body rebels. Seriously, as if the period itself isn't enough.

  2. Yes, I bring TP!! And I cannot believe you've never had to make a pit stop. Jealous.

  3. I don't think I run long enough to have to take a pit stop. Maybe I should run a bit further..... or not.

  4. I always make sure I do a 4 or less mile loop from any pit stop.. I have yet to run into bushes or under bridges.. thankfully... I've always made it to my destination in time..

  5. I think you would be surprised of your male following. (your little sub cult) With the scenery you have to run around...its tough to throw you a huge pity party, but I can relate to "some" of your issues. LOL
    Its how you deal with the adversities that help measure your character..BTW: I am the king of go with the flow..

  6. I saw that piece on the Today show this morning. It upset me that they set it up as a joke, and mocked these guys during the segment. Not even a back story or how and why they ran at their age. Just a funny video to make fun of the old guys. Stupid, shallow Today show!
    Here's my bucket list: a 50K on my 50th year. I have three years to get ready for this.

    1. My MIL is running a 50 miler to celebrate her 50th this year. :-)

  7. Oh man girl that sounds like a rough run! I love your photo... ah-mazing! You took all that instride and still able to laugh abiut it.

  8. You have a gorgeous view when you run!!!
    My bucket list includes a 100 mile race in the next couple of years!

  9. I am a go with the flow woman. Unless you mess with my child, my breakfast oatmeal preference, or the radio station presets in my car. :)


  10. The lake is beautiful! Great picture. We don't have lakes that pretty here in Jersey, but we do have lots of parks with (albeit gross) port-o-johns. Hope your feeling better. Bucket list: Continue to get stronger, and finish my goal to run a 1/2 marathon in every state (37 more to go!), and one on each continent.

  11. OMG those old guys made my day! If I live that long, I WILL find a track meet, because if I outlive all the competition, I'll finally be fast enough to win a 100m!

    I'm pretty easy-going, except with my sleep. Ask my husband what happens when he disturbs the porcupine, and he'll tell you just how friendly I can be when someone or something is disturbing my sleep. Ok, and I get pretty unbearable if I don't have food frequently enough, which is why I have a purse that double as a picnic basket.

  12. Nice view, eh? I sometimes have those sorts of run, but the mythical runners "high" still eludes me. That's on my bucket list. I've had it swimming, where it was easier to keep going than stop. I still think all you runners are lying to me about this "high" thing.

    I think I can honestly say that I've never had stomach trouble when you're having that time of the month. I rarely have stomach trouble.

    Really, what were you thinking? Your faithful readers would like to know, I'm sure, except it would probably sear the LED's or phosphor of the monitor.

    Moles??!! Why did you go and tell me they were moles? I was all worked up for a few seconds there.

    And if you stop driving Ken crazy, it will totally mess up his life. He'll start thinking he isn't married anymore and will go buy a Harley and use it to pick up a redhead or something debauched like that.

    Only one of five male readers? Gee, now I feel special. Thanks!

  13. Yep, my stomach rebels. It's really the only PMS I get. But oh my stomach is unhappy...

    Per my bucket list. I want to hike to base camp of Mount Everest.

  14. Visit NY. But I'm so dreading the 24-26 hour flight.

  15. That's a fabulous video. I love gutsy old people - they give me hope that there's still fun after fifty.

  16. On my bucket list, Hike New Zealand. And I'm a go with the flow type of person.
    Love the video. Obviously it proves that you shouldn't go out fast in running!

  17. My stomach rebels the first few days of my period too, so I feel your pain. In fact I have a 4 hour ride on the schedule today and I am on day 2 so wish me luck! bucket list would include a sub 13 hr ironman.

  18. I think in the past, I may have been a little TOO go with the flow in that I probably gave in to the flow so much that I didn’t realize I can still have an affect on what happens even if I can’t totally control it. I’m not a surfer (yet), but I try to “surf” the flow of life now more than I used to. I can’t control the tide, but if I’m healthy, focused, and smart about my wave choice, I can enjoy the shit out of the ride.

    I recently decided that I want to try and run a race (any distance) in every state in the union. No time limit. Just before the ultimate deadline. I’ve got Virginia in the bag, and I’m looking at my home state of North Carolina next. Should be a fun game.

    (and since my brother lives in CO, your fine state is probably going to get marked off of my list sooner than others too. Maybe even this fall when I’m out there. We’ll see.)

  19. I ran 16 yesterday too! My running partner and I usually plan are runs around bathrooms:) I'm soo jealous of that view.

  20. I have had to make many "pit" stops like this before as well!! The joy of living in the western states you can get away with it a lot easier! I have had a deer jump up and scare me one time when I was trying to do my business that is not a fun time let me assure you!! Funny thing I was just talking to my running partner the other day about things women have to endure as runners and men do not and I was telling her how I run from work and I always pack my running clothes the night before, My day ends and I go to change and realize I have forgotten my sports bra! That is a tragedy for me since I am a very full C cup!! After the day I had I knew if I went home I would not leave and would just see it as a sign it was not meant to be...I work at a doctors office so I come up with a genius plan I go to one of the nurses and ask her if there are any ace bandages big enough to secure my "Girls"! She said Wow that is some determination you have and I said Yep if I wasn't a official runner before I definitely am now!! I did my run and wrapped up like a mummy and I was so glad that I did because my whole day had been awful and that night was one of the best stress free nights I have had in a long time!!

  21. Love it! And, so true. You can't control everything. Just ran the Around the Bay race in Hamilton, Canada last weekend and was on par to meet my time goal when thousands of runners, including myself, were halted by a TRAIN crossing the course. Five minutes and absolutely nothing we could do about it.

  22. Freaking hate.running.with.pms!!!! The days leading up the the big day are the worst-not too bad once it starts. I had PMS cramps so bad during a 10K that I thought for sure I was going to birth out what I ate the night before. My cute little cinderella outfit (it was a costume 10k) barely fit b/c I was bloated so bad. Glad it's not just me! Stupid hormones!!!

  23. I used to have that problem when I got my periods. Since I had my hysterectomy, so many problems disappeared. And my running improved dramatically. I do still have my ovaries, so still have hormones. Just no more "female issues". TMI. But we're all sharing, right?

    Have you ever tried taking probiotics for your GI issues? I've been taking Culturelle for a few months, and I have to say that I'm not "stopping" as often as I used to. It isn't perfect, but I'll take it! Sure beats carrying toilet paper and imodium on those long runs.

    Go with the flow? Me? Ha! Type A++. It's why I run.

  24. My cycle messes me up too. Stomach problems for the first couple days. I feel like imam in the bathroom constantly but nothing happens.

    Bucket dive.

  25. Good God, the BLOAT hit me Thursday, thankfully, after my tempo run in the morning. I set out for an easy 6 today with a uterus that felt like a lead balloon. Doing 13 tomorrow and hoping it subsides soon. After either being on the Pill or pregnant/nursing for ages, I've been all-natural with my own hormones for a year. It blows.

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  28. Qualify for and run the Boston Marathon, Then NYC. I have already run Chicago, that would be all three world majors held in the United States.
    Then I would have to start working on my girlfriend for London, Berlin and Tokyo, I don't know if I could get her to go along with that or not.

    My goal is to qualify for Boston at St. Louis this fall.

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  30. Those old men are so cute! I hope I can still run when I am that old.

    Not too long ago I was running in a neighborhood and for some reason could not hold my pee and kept leaking on myself, there were no bushes to hide in and I almost knocked on a door to beg them to let me use their toilet, but I was sure I smelled of pee so I didn't. I cut the run short. Turned out I had a bladder infection. I have never had a poop issue though, but I came close. Thankfully I was less than a mile away from the house so I went home. Needed to run but couldn't. It was awful, I barely made it home in time.

    As for my bucket list, I would love to swim with dolphins and go on a safari. I would also love to do The Amazing Race with my hubby, but I would be so annoying that he would lose just so I would stop complaining.

  31. Hi there,
    I first came across your Blog when I read your post "How not to crap yourself when on the run"
    I had my first pit stop in the bushes this it wrong to say I thought of you!!!!!
    I'm so glad you write about the nitty gritty of running - it makes me feel normal.

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