Sunday, September 22, 2013

A Crappy Mom Moment aka The Highs & Lows of Training a Million Hours a Week

Another training week DOWN, officially putting me one week closer to Ironman Florida.  Yes, it is exactly 7 weeks from yesterday. Mother eff’ing huge GULP.

Don’t tell anyone, but my confidence is in the toilet. I know with IM training, there are highs and lows. I don’t think my mental state has ever been this challenged while training. I am constantly having to assure myself I can do things when my body just really wants to stop. These long training weekends are kind of taking a toll. Wah, wah.

Yesterday I rode for 4 hours (~69 miles). I had to come home in the middle to change out my seat because my crotch hurt. There is no nice way to sugar coat it. SORE CROTCH!  This did give me a chance to eat a huge piece of my mom’s apple cake with cream cheese frosting. They should make a GU in that flavor.

I came in from my ride, in the zone, mentally preparing for a 7 mile run. It was hot, my legs were fried and I was in a bad mood about the whole thing.

Emma was practicing the piano and teaching herself to play “Imagine” by John Lennon.

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She wanted me to hang out and listen. I told her I would for a minute but then just let me get this run done, then I will have all day to listen more. She kept pushing me to listen longer, and finally I blew - “Please don’t make this any harder for me than it already is! I said NO!” Nice mom moment. Does this child not understand what a “brick” is? There is no time for piano recitals in the transition between bike and run (although to my credit, I did come home and listen afterwards).

The run sucked because I was hot and tired and dehydrated. All I kept thinking was, “there is no way in hell I am going to be able to come off a 2.4 mile swim, a 112 mile bike and then run a marathon.” I really psyched myself out on this one. Plus, I ate the worst gel ever (peanut butter GU) and it disgusted me.

I had to spend the rest of the day pumping myself back up from my pathetic mental state. I think I am going to buy something like this and wear it through November 2. When I am having a pity party I’ll just have to look at my wrist:

I am usually pretty mentally strong, so feeling this way is different. I’ve just never tackled anything this big. I don’t want to just suffer through 140.6 miles, I want to be strong, to push, to take it all in and enjoy the day.

After 5 hours and 10 minutes of training I went to Subway. I have never gotten a foot long sub in my life, mostly because I just can’t handle all those inches (TWSS). But yesterday I downed that Buffalo Chicken 12 incher like no one’s business. I looked at this website which calculates the calories in all Subway subs (depending on cheese, condiments, etc.). Really cool. I wanted to make sure I was making up for all of my burned calories: 930 calories – that should do it!

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Take Two! This morning was a 2 hour ride (~34 miles), followed by a 4 mile run. More obstacles. First, two flat tires.

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As Ken did the labor, I had a chance to take some pictures. What a gorgeous morning to be alive in Boulder County.

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Tons of hot air balloons out today – I want to do that someday.

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One of my dream houses:

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A torso selfie:

 

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Later we rode by one of our favorite places to run/walk Heidi. Totally destroyed by the flood. The shitter actually fell into the river bed (also one of my favorite shitters, has saved me many times). Very sad.

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I was happy to have 14.5 hours of training done for the week. Doesn’t everyone just sit in the middle of their kitchen floor when they are tired?

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Summary For the Week:

Swim: 6,400 yards (~3.7 miles)

Bike: 124.5 miles

Run: 27.3 miles

Total Miles: 155.5

Total # of workouts: 12

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What’s your favorite Subway sub? Can you handle 12”? Lately I’m on a Buffalo Chicken kick, but usually it’s the Tuscan Chicken.

Ever been on a hot air balloon ride? Do you recommend it?

What’s the last “bad” mom moment you’ve had?

SUAR

PS: Ironman Lake Tahoe is today. I heard it snowed there last night? Remind me to never complain about the warm weather in Florida.

65 comments:

  1. I believe in you and squash those insecurities about your training. I have to laugh about the GU gone wrong because PB flavour is my favourite GU yet, seriously love it! Good luck (AKA stop the whining ;) ), believe in your training and smash it on race day.

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    1. PBS is my favorite, too. Funny how different all of our gel preferences can be!

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    2. Darn it, PB. Not PBS. Stupid ipad.

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  2. Fall down seven times, get up eight. You did that and more w/your week of training!

    Where did you get that bracelet "believe" I love it.

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    1. I don't have it yet, but found it on Etsy. I think you can click the image to see where it's sold.

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    2. I did just order 2 of them, one for me and one for my daughter. They were only $3 each so not sure what to expect. I'll let you know.

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  3. I bitched about a 5.5 mile run this morning and two of my friends are competing in the IRONMAN in Tahoe at this very moment. I feel like a big goon...but I remind myself that, although I can look cute in running clothes and I am the best Dog Mom around that I too can have bad days and pity parties are part of it. It is the recovery that matters and it is our OVERALL attitude that really counts. This is just a blip on the radar...you are going to do great. Now pick yourself off the kitchen floor, kiss your pup and start counting your blessings.

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  4. Peanut butter GU is simply revolting...I'm sorry you had to experience it. It's odd because I love peanut butter, but can think of no worse GU flavor. I dry heaved for about a mile after the first (and last) time I ever tasted it.

    My last bad mom moment was just this a.m....I caught my daughter drinking out of my PowerAde when I wasn't looking and snapped at her, which confused her more than a little because normally we share everything in this house. I am just so paranoid about getting sick right now (I'm two weeks out from my first marathon) and am feeling more than a little germ-phobic at the moment.

    Best of luck as you power through the rest of your training. I can't even imagine the physical and mental toll IM training must take...you are amazing and a great inspiration!

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  5. Dang that sucks about the shitter. Although I'm sure there are other people suffering worse from the flood, I know how hard it is to find a good shitter. I eat 12" all the time, but I get the veggie so maybe that's why. Or maybe I'm just special.

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  6. Your bracelet should read "Imagine".....get the family Karma back, post a video of Emma playing. You have to have lows to appreciate the highs.

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  7. Training is so tough--it can suck the life out of you, make you feel like the Biggest Most Pathetic Wimp in the world when really, you are not. Hug your family, snuggle with your dog, and never forget that being able to train the way you do is a gift. I have to do this a lot when I am in an intense training cycle. And, honestly, I think the dogs ground me better than anything <3

    Go on the balloon ride. It is an amazing experience. It's been many years since I went, but I still recall the awe of being able to look at the landscape, especially the the vegetation, from that perspective (which you get for about 5 seconds in a plane, through a very small window). The grass looked like dog fur, waving in the wind. I will never forget it. DO IT!

    I've never eaten a footlong. It could happen someday!

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  8. We got peanut butter gu at Bolder Boulder and so far no one in our running group is brave enough to try it. Gu is hard to eat anyway...I just imagine peanut butter one getting sick in my throat.

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    1. Peanut butter GU is my favorite! I've only been able to find it at Dick's so I stock up in a big way when I'm there. Vanilla is gross. Stay away from that one!

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  9. We got peanut butter gu at Bolder Boulder and so far no one in our running group is brave enough to try it. Gu is hard to eat anyway...I just imagine peanut butter one getting sick in my throat.

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  10. You can do this - I think that you are getting to the point where the mental training is going to play as big a role as all those hours you log on the bike, running and swimming.
    And, yes, moments like that happen - but you made up for it and I'm sure your daughter understood!!!

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  12. The IM lows suck ass but you know what, all this tough stuff will make you ready for race day. FWIW, I think you're going to kick ass on race day. I love Peanut Butter GU, ha ha. Mixed with chocolate = delicious. But I'm weird that way.

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  13. You are so inspiring - I really want to do an Ironman some day :) At least, someday when I'm not 14 - or am I allowed to do one now?

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  14. I love the meatball sub. And yes, I could eat a 12" sub without hesitation...BUT if I do eat at subway, I only get the flat bread with egg whites and half a piece of pepper jack cheese.

    I probably would have a said a few words at the demise of your favorite shitter. When a girl has got to go, a favorite is a good place to be.

    It sounds like you have hit the wall, perhaps another piece of cake with cream cheese frosting will make it better.

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  15. Well, it ain't IM training, but my 22 mile run before a marathon is *always* a low point. Even so, I almost scratched my September race because I'd missed three long runs during the last month+ of training, and felt so mentally unprepared. I went and did it anyway. Not a PR by any means, but I'm glad I did it. I really appreciate your entries - you humanize it all, and not that I want anyone to have bad days, but it's nice to know we all struggle together sometimes. You're going to rock it, I have a feeling. :-)

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  16. And I've wanted to go on a hot air balloon ride for years. Let me know how you love it when you go!

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  17. Sounds like you are track for Ironman, it is completely overwhelming, especially 7 weeks out! Hang in there..."Just" marathon training will be a breeze after Ironman.
    My mother always loved hot air balloons until she actually went on a ride, and was very disappointed. I think it was because it was so loud (the fire to fuel the ride), when she envisioned it so peaceful and quiet.
    Janine Fraser

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  18. Following one of my friends as she competes in Ironman Lake Tahoe today! I'm in complete awe of both of you!

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  19. I sit on the kitchen floor with Cleo all the time. She's a cocker, so I need to be low to get kisses. And my knees sound like Rice Krispies, so sitting is a better choice than squatting!

    My last bad moment was not running related, it was work related. Yep, I vented about somebody to somebody else and they told 2 people who told 2 people..you get the picture. People just love this stuff, don't they? I need a muzzle. And last week, I got attacked (verbally) by person in question and while I deserved a dressing down, she hurt me badly. I'm just laying low, licking my wounds now, and trying to be professional about it all. Will I ever learn?

    Ugh.

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  20. I like the Meatball Marinara sub at Subway. I get the 12" but it half for lunch and half for dinner.

    Do the hot air balloon! We went here in Phoenix and it is absolutely amazing! Scary at first but once you get up there it is incredible! We got a coupon for it from Groupon (they regularly have coupons for hot air balloon rides, at least here in Phoenix) and went for pretty cheap.

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  21. Am I the only one who likes PB gu?! I guess that means my favorite flavor may not last too long. I can't handle the really sweet, fruity gus.

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  22. Sounds like your training is going great. And don't worry about the bad mom moment - I have them all the time. Goes with the territory I think.

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  23. You are right - I had the PB Gu for the first time yesterday and I had to choke it down. So gross. Everyone else I know loves it so I'm glad to know someone else thinks it's disgusting too. :D
    You're doing an amazing job with training! Keep it up!

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  24. I am over Subway. Once on an out of town job I ate Subway every day for a month straight. It was that or go hungry. Toward the end I was beginning to contemplate the hunger.

    Linda got me a hot air balloon ride for my birthday once. It's TOTALLY worth it, especially when they fly low over town the the dogs go insane barking.

    Oddly enough, I've never had a bad mom moment, or a bad dad moment either. No kids to have them on, and my borrow-a-kid program does a careful pre-borrowing assessment.

    I'm over Gu too. That last one about K15 into IMC run, the one that came THAT close to getting barfed back out again did it.

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  25. Your training is amazing and having bad mom moments goes with being a mom not necessarily because of your training. Give yourself a break here. You're tired. Your daughter will not remember the time mom didn't listen to me play piano but she'll remember the time her mom crossed the finished line of a freakin' IronMan!

    I have done hot air ballooning in Turkey and totally recommend it. It's expensive but an incredible feeling.

    As for Subway, didn't you notice the amount of sodium in that sandwich? Way too much.

    Hope you have a better week training. Stay focused. You're incredible.

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  26. We had a balloon ride given to us as a wedding present over Napa Valley. It was absolutely fabulous. The only down fall is you need to get up at 0:dark:30 to get everything ready for sunrise that wasn't very honeymoonish. But in the end so much fun! You would love it!

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  27. Tough parent moments happen even when not training for IMs. If not the training, something else. Hug 'em and move on.

    I'm both at once relieved and in awe that you have moments of mental weakness. Relieved that even you have your moments so maybe there's hope for me. In awe that you have your moments because I truly believed you were impervious to that crap!

    Now, suck it up sister! And get back to motivating the rest of us mere mortals.

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  28. I hear you loud and clear. Highs and lows. But, we will do this!!!! IMFL 2013!

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  29. I'm not that crazy about peanut butter but I am a fan of PB Gu. It makes no sense.

    I downed two footlong Subway subs last week. Sometimes I think I could eat more than one in one sitting. I certainly could if it was some type of contest. I get the veggie with extra cheese.

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  30. I have never had a 12 inch sub but if I trained as much as you do I would probably have two.
    I have never been on a hot air balloon ride but it looks awesome.
    My last mom fail was when the twins were sick and I was on day 2 of whining and crying and puking and I said "If either of you says mommy one more time, I'm going to kill someone." Nice. They're 4.
    If my fav crapper was destroyed by flood I would be pretty sad:-(

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  31. I still can't handle 12", but my choice is turkey & swiss, with extra-extra pickles.

    I'm not a Mom, but I'm a wife...and last week, on our anniversary, I headed out early in the morning to run 28 miles - then spent the rest of the day recovering, let my husband take me out for dinner, and curled up in bed early.

    But kids need to know that parents are people too. And sometimes they can be tired, cranky, and/or anxious about iron-womaning 140 miles in 7 weeks. I'm pretty sure your kids are old enough to get that. Plus, the music was that much improved by the time you got back from your run, right?

    Hang in there. If your brain doesn't have anything positive to say, tell it to shut up, because you aren't listening to confidence-undermining drivel. You don't always have to be positive - just shut the doubts off, do your workouts, and don't think about the big picture for awhile (not a great long term strategy, but very effective in delaying anxiety in the short-term). Good luck!

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  32. Your last picture is great! Both my husband and I lay on the kitchen floor after a run. There's a vent there that blows just right especially when we turn the air down after getting back. Usually the dog tries to sit in our lap too.

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  33. this is exactly the time in training when everyone gets doubtful and tired. IM training is hard work! it looks like you are all set up for success though so keep it up. yes, forewarn your family the the next couple weeks could be rough and there might be a lot of apologizing...i had to do that to my coworkers.

    about the hot air balloon ride, it is beautiful, but i wasn't amazed...and this was in Tanzania. go for it if you get the chance, but i wouldn't break the bank for it!

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  34. the last "bad mommy moment" i had was yesterday morning-woke up a huge headache and told my 5 year old to stop asking a million questions so I could drink my cup of coffee peace.

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    1. How is that bad? ( unless you screamed it then it was bad). Kids have to learn to respect the needs of others too.

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  35. I've had some bad mom moments lately. My daughter cheers on Saturday mornings and I've missed over half her games cause I'm running 5Ks as my speed session... then I feel bad since every other mom is at the game.

    I'm 7 weeks out til my marathon that I'm trying to BQ at. I bailed on my 20 miler this morning. Just mentally couldn't do it and went back to bed, then spent the rest of the day wondering if I should have done it (my foot is killing me too). I did a 20 miler last week and I have one more 20 miler scheduled so I don't know whether to try and make this one up later in the week or just move on.

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  36. Love hearing about your IM training!! You are totally awesome and I love how you are real and honest about it!

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  37. Congrats on another great week of training. I too like to lay on the kitchen floor after a hot/hard work out and typical yell "Don't touch me, I"m dying" to anyone who walks in the room. It really helps the recovery process.

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  38. Thanks for your honesty. I am training for a marathon and have days of thinking, I can't possible do everything that I am doing this week in a single morning. My goal race just announced no hydration packs. This is a mental hurdle for me since I love my Nathans pack and have trouble planning to race 26.2 without my training buddy. Time to suck it up and move along. Thanks for your blog, I love it. It is the ONLY one that I always read.

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  39. You are doing fantastic in your training. The rough patches and getting yourself over them mentally is part of the miles you're putting in physically. Full ironmen are few. You'll join the crowd after Florida as one of the few. No matter how hard it gets, you know you're going to finish it and it will mean more than anything you've ever done...except your kids and hubby of course :)
    Good luck. Stay strong.

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  40. Chicken breast on wheat with all the veggies (except the Devil's condiment - raw red onion) and some southwest chipotle and dijon. MMMM. 6 inch, though. Can't handle all the inches.

    Hot Air Balloon - nooo. Afraid of heights. AFRAID.

    Bad Mom Moment: The other day my 9 yr old just. kept. talking. while I was trying to peacefully eat my breakfast after a hard run, and finally told her to just. go away because I couldn't handle the noise. MOTY!
    Vanilla and Espresso GU are my fave. PB - meh.

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  41. I can handle 12" but my wife can't. She's tried a few times, but ends up tapping out and I get to finish it off. Wait, what?!!?!?!! :)

    Welcome to IM Training. The highs, lows, and in betweens. This won't be your lowest low but it's great mental training for the race. You'll experience every emotion on race day so learning to deal with it now will help race day.

    Reading your journey reminds mirrors mine in a lot of ways. Keep plugging along and be epic while doing it. Once it's over, you'll re-read your blog and giggle a little at how tough you thought it was at the time, but it really wasn't.

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    1. OK you are scaring me with this >"Once it's over, you'll re-read your blog and giggle a little at how tough you thought it was at the time, but it really wasn't" That makes it sound like I am in for HELL.

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    2. Not hell....but close. :)

      I used to think what I was going through was tough....but realized that during the race, it was "mental training" that was taking place. The race is as much as a test of endurance as it is mental.

      Heard a great bible quote today while driving to work (really random)...but it was from the Book of James. "Consider it joy whenever you face trials of any kind". Meaning....looking at your 'trials' as an opponent will make you bitter. Looking at it as an opportunity, will make you better.

      You've almost gotten the toughest part of training out of the way (volume/time wise). You'll start tapering soon, the body will revolt and thank you at the same time....your nerves will creep in....you will get in the water and be a glass case of emotions.....then the gun will go off, you'll get into form and the rest is history.

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    3. You sound as if IM training is difficult. It's just getting out to PLAY! My WORK is difficult...not my playing!

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  42. Hah! The peanut butter gu is the only one I actually like, although I can't eat any gels on the run. It's more of a delicious, random mid-day treat for me, haha.

    I always crash on the kitchen floor after I get home from a tough run. The floor always feels nice and cooling on my back!

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  43. I think bracelets like that can be really great and motivating. I'm actually doing a giveaway of the Endorphin Warrior ones right now on my blog. :)

    Great job on getting through another tough week of training. i can't believe you're already down to just 7 weeks! You are doing so amazing on your training! Keep up the great work. Oh yeah, and I like the chicken teriyaki sub from subway.

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  44. I always sit on the floor after a hard workout...sure beats getting "swass" on my couch.

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  45. Have you tried the new "Salted Carmel" flavor GU? It actually tastes like candy!

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  46. I think Ironman training is like basic training - the purpose is to break you down physically and mentally, so they can BUILD A WHOLE NEW YOU!

    I know you will be back to feeling strong and kicking butt soon.

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  47. I feel like I have a bad mom moment every day.

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  48. I'm steering clear of the peanut butter GU - sounds awful! Have you tried apple cinnamon Hammer gel? No cream cheese frosting, but it does taste just like apple pie filling. I swear by it!

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  49. I'm cheering you on from Michigan. You can do this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cowboy up, girl. I love your blog. I've been a faithful reader for 2 or 3 years.
    Fav. Subway sub is Turkey on flatbread, toasted, no cheese, with tom, lettuce, spinach, and chipotle sauce.

    Kelly

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  50. The lows of IM training are quite low but they will soon be just a memory. Race day is so special, knowing that you are actually doing an IM will help to carry you along. Enjoy the fact that you have the resources (physical and financial) to do this. You even get to train with your husband! And he changes your flats! You will do great at IM Florida!

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    1. Yes you are so right...lots to be grateful for! Although it was his flat, not mine!

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  51. I'm tired just training for half (and a metric century bike ride but that's done now). My son has to have me sit on his lap to get homework done and I lose patience really quickly. I totally know what you are talking about with your daughter but I imagine you are on an extreme level of what I feel lol.

    I know you will do great on your Iron Man!! You amaze me every day!

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  52. I'm constantly having Bad Mum moments. Recently my daughter brought her first boyfriend over and I thought I was doing really well. You know, not being in the room too much, just being myself but maternal too. Then he says "I really like you" and I thought "squeeee!" but then he finished with "but I'm too afraid to introduce you to my mum in case she won't let me hang with your daughter. I really like your daughter's company". I have no idea where I went wrong there. Apparently I'm a bad influence on teens!

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  53. My husband and I moved this summer from Longmont to Alaska and we have been awestruck by the recent flood devastation. It's hard to believe. That shitter saved my life too! I rode my bike into Boulder one day with my husband on his daily commute, guzzled a whole bottle of water, then rode back to Longmont on my own. Holy schmoly! I eyeballed every tree, even the ones in residential areas, but I was not as brave as you, and then I remembered the shitter in your photo! Wow! Relief!
    I highly recommend doing a hot air balloon ride. One Christmas, I gave my husband a gift certificate from Fair Winds. Very friendly, professional people. Do it!

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