Winners and Partay

57 measly entries for the Butt Shield Giveaway.

I feel let down. I thought you all liked all things ASS more than that. I also thought more of you would be invested in protecting your butts while you ran, biked, road tripped and sat on airplanes. Everyone needs a good Butt Shield. Don’t ever get so cocky so that you think your butt is exempt.

Just to show the importance of protection, I am going to wear Butt Shield on my five hour, red-eye trip to Costa Rica on Friday. They don’t call it a red-eye for nothing. I will emerge into the city of San Jose with a fresh, rash-less ass and the locals (“Ticos,” you call them) will turn their heads, noses in the air sniffing, wondering who has just entered their country and hoping she will never leave.

Funny thing I just learned. The unit of money in Costa Rica is the Colon, named after none other than Chris Columbus who discovered the country (guess he had a nice colon). No joke. I am going to keep my colons clean while I visit. My colons might be brown, but they will be shiny and hygienic. My colons will be exchanged for souvenirs of beauty.

The winners of the almighty Shield:

1. Holly (She chafes right at the base of her tail bone, where her cheeks come together)
2. Diana Tries-A-Tri (She has no ass, so chafe happens)
3. Steve Q (He’s tried everything stop chafing during ultramarathons. Nothing's worked yet including K-Y he just “happened” to have on hand, wink, wink). 
4. LaVonne (She had a chafing nightmare once and had to lay on the couch for 2 days with her legs spread apart. She then I had to wear skirts with no underwear for a week).
5. Jamoosh (Who says, “I am a poster child for inner butt cheek chafing.” Nice image).

Congrats. Email me your address at shutuprun@gmail.com.

Thanks for asking, my birthday party was fun.

Me opening gifts. No one is paying attention. You should call that number on the screen. Laurie, I’m wearing the necklace you sent!!

Me with squinty eyes and holding my special birthday glass that got refilled with Buffalo Gold beer a few times. My sis-in-law in the back looks pissed.  She is talking to my mom. You can see her half-face.

You had to be blond to come to my party. Can you find me in the dark?

Three people went home sick and I ate a lot of Buffalo wings.  When we got in the car at the end of the night, I sat between my two friends in the backseat. I let one fly and my one friend started gagging and had to open the door for some air. I’m proud of that.  The Urban Dictionary would appropriately call this a fire fart (see link for amazing details).

You might be old when… the waiter asked if I wanted a birthday shot or a dessert. I did the inconceivable and went with dessert. God, I’m old. But, I wasn’t so hung-over I couldn't do my 20 mile ride Sunday and play video poker on my iPad for three hours. So, suck it, you young’uns.

My real birthday is tomorrow. I have lots of fun things planned for myself. I like having multiple-day birthdays.

Not too old to stink up the car like a sailor,

SUAR

No Snooping

Things are definitely looking up. Even Lucky, the three legged, one eyed, ball-less dog knows it (at least he hasn’t yet lost his tongue). I am not a professional photographer, but clearly I should be.

My week:

Monday: Ran 5.35 miles (run 10 mins, walk 2 mins)
Tuesday: Rest  + 1 hour of PT
Wednesday: Ran 5.5 miles
Thursday: Swam 2100 yards
Friday: Ran 4.1 miles
Saturday: Will bike 90 minutes
Sunday: Will do 90 minutes hot yoga

What is a girl to do when she can finally run again? Get new shoes.

All you minimalist shoe lovers, I see you cringing. I’m not ready to go there yet. These are actually the shoes (Mizuno Wave Inspire 6) I have been in for awhile now, including running very successfully in them pre-injury (BQ). I was told during my gait analysis that they are a good fit for me. Since I have increased my cadence I am working on moving towards a more mid foot strike and I can do that in these babies.

Plus, they have a lime green color in them and that reminds me of margaritas and vodka tonics and that makes me happy. And, the shoes were reduced from $100 to $53 (Running Warehouse), so I have an extra $46 to spend on margaritas in Costa Rica next week.

Can you freaking believe I am running? I am still pinching myself. Four months from yesterday I was diagnosed with my hip stress fracture and could barely walk. This week I ran 14.95 miles and I’m going to round that up to 15 miles because I deserve to round things up after the hellish past four months.

I am here to tell you that if you are injured, it will get better, but you have to be very diligent about your recovery. Strength train. Stretch. Do any and all cross training that is safe for your injury. Eat well. Sleep a lot. Cry when you need to, but don’t stay there long. Persevere. Know it is temporary. Have goals and meet them.

I sent my Boston or Bust training plan to my exercise physiologist and doctor to review. I wanted to make sure of two things:

1. This plan was conservative enough to not hurt me
2. This plan would prepare me adequately so when I run in Boston I won’t be comatose on a stretcher with my hip in a plastic bag at aid station #6.

Basically, I max out at 24 miles/week with my longest run being 13 miles. And, then there is shit load of cross training. Feedback from the exercise physiologist was informative:

“I think this plan looks very good, I would encourage you to continue with walk breaks throughout your runs, especially your long runs. I think a 9 minute run, 1 minute walk or 14 minute run 1 minute walk would serve you best for your training and the Boston Marathon itself. I think 13 miles is adequate for a long run for you as well.

I’d encourage you to lengthen some of your non-running workouts in order to do some workouts in the 3-4 hour range.  The purpose of these longer workouts is to prepare your body to exercise for that duration. I think you’d be better served to add duration to your cross training than to add more running.

If it doesn’t bother you, you could also add in a longer walk or hike. The Japanese and Korean style marathon training programs typically include a lot of long walks to build up time on the feet with a low impact activity. I think some 45-90+ minute walks or relatively flat hikes could be a good addition so long as they don’t bother you. I would have you do any long walks on Mondays in place of or in addition to water running/swimming.”

I was especially interested in the Japanese/Korean style of marathon training. This was new information for me.

And, as if it couldn’t get any better, tonight is my birthday party, so if you could be there I’d appreciate it. Ken sent out an Evite saying, “Leave the kids at home and come celebrate all things Beth!” Guess that means we celebrate running and bodily functions and social work and Athleta and mothering and drinking coffee/wine and blogging and hot baths and Dean. But not hot baths with Dean, unfortunately.

Don’t get all carried away. Today is not my birthday. It’s Tuesday, 2/22. You can save your birthday wishes for then when I remind you again.

One final perk of the day. Got this email today from a reader. It was simple and to the point:

“I sneezed so hard I pooped a little. Would that be considered a snoop?”

Hoping I don’t snoop at my party,

SUAR

PS: Don’t forget my Butt Shield Giveaway!

Butt Shield Giveaway

I know you think I’m going to talk about a fart-filter or something of that nature, but you are WRONG!

Having problems with your ass? It’s not uncommon (double negative) for us athletes. There are the bike seat blues. And, the running rubbings. The kayaking caking and the horseback riding hammering. All kinds of chafing, friction and irritation that gets up in there. Well, maybe not UP in there, but UP ON there. If you’ve experienced it, you know what I mean.

I do have a lot of problems with my booty, yet chafing has so far not been one of my issues. Although, with half ironman training kicking in, I could be singing and chafing a different tune.

If your butt is a sore spot, consider Butt Shield. Supposedly, this roll on product provides relief from your worst saddle sores, chafing and ass rashes. More importantly (as it says on the package):

1. It lasts all day. If you don’t like to rinse or wash after your workouts, then it will continue to provide protection all day at your kids’ soccer games or during date night with your lady/stud. Chris K. might like this since he is manly now.
2. It is non staining. Neat. As if you could stain your butt any more than it already is. Bleaching on the other hand…
3. It is unscented. Well, thank God. We wouldn’t want to try to mask any existing smell on the buttocks.
4. It is non-greasy. For those of you with greasy asses, this won’t add a second coat.
5. Also good for the non-athlete. Think long hospital stays, road trips, airline travel, waiting at the motor vehicles hell hole.

If you would like to try Butt Shield (MSRP: $12.99), you’re in luck. I’ve got 5 bottles to give away!! Simply (comment for each):

• Leave a comment as to why you want/need Butt Shield. What’s your butt-ass problem? 1 entry
• Become a follower of this blog because I only have 1238. And, I lose one today, so have mercy. + 1 entry.
• Write about this giveaway on your blog, FB, Twitter, bathroom wall. + 1 entry.
• Visit the Butt Shield website and take a look at their other cool products (like Stink Free). + 1 entry.

Giveaway will end on February 21, and winners will be picked by random.org on that day.

Fine print:

• 2Toms provided the five giveaway Butt Shields. I did not pay anything for them.
• The winners will be chosen by Random.org on 2/21

Good Luck!

SUAR